I AM HANNAH

I AM HANNAH. I AM HANNAH. NO LONGER TONY BUT HANNAH!! YOU GOT DAT?

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dedicated to anyone who has a dream others refuse to acknowledge,
dreams other people mock and despise out of jealousy

1 Samuel 1:8
"Hannah, why do you weep? Why do you not eat? And why is your heart grieved?"

1 Samuel 1: 12-15
"And it happened, as she continued praying before the LORD, that Eli
watched her mouth. Now Hannah spoke in her heart; only her lips
moved, but her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli thought she was
drunk. So Eli said to her, "How long will you be drunk? Put your wine
away from you!" But Hannah answered and said, "No, my lord, I am a
woman of sorrowful spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor intoxicating
drink, but have poured out my soul before the LORD."

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Hannah's Song, In the Wheat Fields (The thoughts of Hannah as she prayed to the LORD of Hosts), despite Peninnah's actions
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Incense fills the temple air.
through my thin sandals I can feel the cold stone
candles flickering amidst intermittent
darkness...tears stream down my face,
my body spasms for grief
before the altar I place my broken heart
of sacrifice
as the high priest makes atonement for all my sins
my soul yearns for strength

When I close my eyes I can see
wheat fields bright and yellow
(white doves flying overhead)
and the wind blowing the wheat ever so gently
the sun shines on them billowing in the
summer breeze
I can see myself walking through with
a long radiant white robe arrayed in clear diamond sequins
and a golden pin in my hair
my skin is smooth and glowing
free from blemishes and free from care

I am smiling,
my eyes are green again (not brown)
not yet corroded by the passing away of dreams
and the redness from stress
I hear little voices behind me calling
mommy
mommy
mommy
There are no more tears here
Only joy as wide as the open sky
or rivery valley. I lead my kids
to a small brook to drink...
watching the ducks float by

When I open my eyes again I still see the smoke of incense
But I pray this is only temporary



(This is my dream, may the Lord grant it)



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1 Samuel 1:11
Then she made a vow and said, "O LORD of hosts, if You will indeed
look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not
forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a male child,
then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life, and no
razor shall come upon his head."
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This is for all you out there who insist on giving me a hard time for believing the LORD will use me one day (soon). Im tired of the injustice and the mistreatment! One day you will see me riding with Jesus in the clouds pursuing you like a justice pursuing a hardened fugitive! You will flee (futilely) in your wickedness for persecuting me yet you will undoubtedly weep and gnash your teeth at the day of God's great judgement. Why do you harm someone who means you no harm? You tried to destroy my spirit but God made it more ruddy. Laugh at me now, laugh at the poor people now....because you will cry when the LORD makes us rich at your expense - FOOLS! You are like Peninnah, you are despicable!!!

[Micah 3:1-3]
Hear now, O heads of Jacob,
And you rulers of the house of Israel:
Is it not for you to know justice?
You who hate good and love evil;
Who strip the skin from My people,
And the flesh from their bones;
Who also eat the flesh of My people,
Flay their skin from them,
Break their bones,
And chop them in pieces
Like meat for the pot,
Like flesh in the caldron.