Noah In a Generation Darkened

Genesis 6:11
"The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with
violence."
Genesis 6:13
"And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for
the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will
destroy them with the earth."

-------------
[But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.]

Matthew 24:37: [Noah in a generation darkened] Tormented in his dreams.....
—-----------------------------------------------------------------------



My mind reeling; conscious and subconscious indistinct
night and day water and dry land id and super-ego desire and restraint
coalesce
my dreams become nightmares
my nightmares become my
reality

In my sleep I feel the water from the sea
fall from the sky (in tiny droplets)
when they hit my skin they turn black
a sign of heaven's remorse
and when I look up I see grey clusters in the sky
I can see the sun no longer

when I wake up I find I am still dry with sunlight on my face
(but my skin still has the black spots)

But these dreams are so tangible and vivid
deafening....
I hear little girls screaming, and the mighty men
retreating and wailing in ignominious anguish
(the humiliation of the enervated)
(but they are wicked)
they are sinking in water
they are sinking in water

reaching hands protruding from beneath the tempestuous waters' surface
seeking respite from their annihilation
respite from the angel of death with sword drawn

the angel of death with sword drawn

and I get scared, God
Im scared for the devastation of my people
unprepared for the water from the sky

in my dreams their lifeless bodies float
until the falling water submerges even the mountains
and I cant see their eyes petrified any longer

I want to grab my wife often
but sometimes my arms cant move
weighed down by the heavy burden of my anxieties
I wish she would hold me
and reciprocate my solace....

hold me my love
(hold me):



the end is near






—--------------------------------
Hebrews 11:7
"By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved
with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house; by the which
he condemned the world, and became heir of the righteousness which is
by faith."

1 Peter 3:20b-22
"....when once the longsuffering of God waited in the days of Noah,
while the ark was a preparing, wherein few, that is, eight souls were
saved by water. The like figure whereunto even baptism doth also now
save us (not the putting away of the filth of the flesh, but the
answer of a good conscience toward God,) by the resurrection of Jesus
Christ: Who is gone into heaven, and is on the right hand of God;
angels and authorities and powers being made subject unto him"
—--------------------------------
I imagine what Noah must have felt, knowing that the end of his
generation was near. (He was the first man who saw rain!) He must
have wanted to save his people, but he also must have realised they
were getting what they deserved. What do we Christians feel knowing
the same thing?

I want to have sex with Yahweh

LET ME BE LIKE ESTHER IN YOUR SIGHT, JEHOVAH..beautiful
------------------
When the king saw Esther the queen standing in the court, she obtained favor in his sight...(Esther 5.2)

....and Esther found favor in the eyes of all who saw her (Esther 2.15)



I wish, God, it only took 12 months
to amaze You
to lure You
To go into your secret chamber in the evening
and return excitedly in the morning
before my other peers
Envious, tears streaming defacing their make up
Fixing their hair once more
Futilely rubbing ointment on their legs
But my legs would be the prettiest
Treated with 6 months of oil and myrrh
My face with 6 months of spices and cosmetics

And I would become Your Queen, Jesus
and to me would You extend Your royal scepter
I would have access to Your throne
Continuously
to kiss You, and lay against Your body
Arm in arm, hand in hand, cheek to cheek
I want to gaze at Your Face
With a crown on, and robes of splendor
Of course we would make love, God
Banqueting on intricate cuisines (at my request)
Aftewards, bestow me half Your Kingdom

Our love is like vengeance
my enemies would be like Haman
hanged fifty cubits high let their 10 sons
be killed by Your edict, then
despised and loathed like their father
Let my love be mighty to You
emancipating my people from many ills
God, hear me out Man
Love me like a prized possession...memorialize me
On the feast of Purim
Remember us



(Am I beautiful to You, God?....am I sexy to You, God?)

Jennifer you are like a dove that wont come back, arent u?

* dedicated to Sarah McLachlan...my inspiration besides Rebecca St. James, of course

(And I threw bitter tears at the ocean
But all that came back was the tide....)

JENNIFER, I WILL NOT FORGET YOU NOR WILL I EVER LET YOU GO
[Genesis 8:10-12] He waited seven more days and again sent out the dove from the ark. When the dove returned to him in the evening, there in its beak was a freshly plucked olive leaf! Then Noah knew that the water had receded from the earth. He waited seven more days and sent the dove out again, but this time it did not return to him.
----------------------






You are a dove to me
the rains were less devastating because of you
the winds less austere
you were like sunlight by day and a candle
(never flickering)
watching my face at night careful not to drip wax on the floor
(even as the wind tossed the boat)
your beauty gave the lions serenity
your grace the camels security
our reminder that hope was present and not dubious
like the multitudes drowning beneath
to watch you was my rest
and knowing you a reminder of an insouciant childhood
joy
laughter
bright smiles
happiness

Jennifer, before you came into my life
On dry land I was mocked
my country was full of travesties
Murder was sport, robbery was a vocation
poverty and prostitution became brother and sister
apathy and wickedness their mother and father
My heart was a barren plain,
and rain, water from the sky was just a dream
falling in love was as far away as time from space
in heaven
in the grave
in the womb
I saw a man rape his own cousin, he looked at me
with eyes forsaken
a soul departed

7 months ago when I asked you to lunch
a change occured...
storm clouds formed for the wicked
(floods came and washed them away)
and for the first time I believed in instrinsic goodness
never wanting to go back to my old life
but now that the skies have cleared
but now that the flood waters have receded
I realize you are not coming back to me
I told you I loved you, that I cared...
in return you left me nothing
except a freshly plucked olive leaf
(full of memories)



(Memories that I will never let go, baby. I listen to Sarah McLachlan whenever I think about us...what could've been, what still might be? You hear me Jesus? This girl might come back to me right? )





--------------------------------------------
Sarah McLachlan – I Will Not Forget You [Solace, 1991]

I remember the nights I watched as you lay sleeping
Your body gripped by some far away dream
Well I was so scared and so in love then
And so lost in all of you that I had seen
But no one ever talked in the darkness
No voice ever added fuel to the fire
No light ever shone in the doorway
Deep in the hollow of earthly desires
But if in some dream there was brightness
If in some memory some sort of sign
And flesh be revived in the shadows
Blessed our bodies would lay so entwined

And I will oh I will not forget you
Nor will I ever let you go
I will oh I will not forget you

I remember when you left in the morning at daybreak
So silent you stole from my bed
To go back to the one who possesses your soul
And I back to the life that I dread.
So I ran like the wind to the water
Please don't leave me again I cried
And I threw bitter tears at the ocean
But all that came back was the tide….

And I will oh I will not forget you
Nor will I ever let you go
I will oh I will not forget you

And I will oh I will not forget you

I will oh I will not forget you
Nor will I ever let you go
I will oh I will not forget you


I will oh I will not forget you
Nor will I ever let you go
I will oh I will not forget you
Nor will I ever let you go
I will oh I will not forget you

Julia is my UNKNOWN GOD

DEDICATED TO JULIA.... MAYBE WHEN YOU SAID HI TO ME TODAY, IT MEANT NOTHING...BUT MAYBE IT MEANT SOMETHING?

Acts 17.16 Now while Paul waited for them at Athens, his spirit was stirred in him, when he saw the city wholly given to idolatry.

V22 Then Paul stood in the midst of Mars' hill, and said....
-----------





Julia,
You look like the God
the greeks have been seeking all their lives
Perect
porcelain almost, like the statues bearing your likeness
flanking sacrificial marble altars on temple floors
the past 1,000 years.
You mean everything to me
I would go to jail just to prove my love for you
let my feet be fastened in stocks next to Silas
let my clothes be ripped and my naked body beaten
for casting out demons unworthy of you. [lisa, jennifer, kina, megan]
You are my peace, without you in my life
my loneliness like angry jewish mobs will ransack Jason's house,
looking for blood
It makes me want to flee to Berea
to find solace to find peace of mind

Today,
I was in Athens when you said hello...
my spirit was provoked within me because
your beauty was divine and no one gave you credit
Your clean skin is worthy of oblations
your blonde hair is worthy of oblations
your name is worthy to worshipped. worthy to be made known. Not athena
Not aphrodite not diana
not fake gods with no power
Not at a temple made with human hands,
served by other people in naivete
Your blue eyes are my life and breath
I endeavor to convince all around me to
bow before you
Together we should pronounce we are "your offspring"

Your kindness raised me, gave me a new spirit
and buried my old flesh with my old man and my old heart
Baby, you are my God
Trust me, you are no longer unknown






(Julia, you are out of my league....you just look way too hot. And your attitude is so positive, unlike other stuck up girls who I won't mention. I was looking for that UNKNOWN GIRL. I think I just found her)






Acts 16:17-19 This girl followed Paul and the rest of us, shouting, "These men are servants of the Most High God, who are telling you the way to be saved." She kept this up for many days. Finally Paul became so troubled that he turned around and said to the spirit, "In the name of Jesus Christ I command you to come out of her!" At that moment the spirit left her. When the owners of the slave girl realized that their hope of making money was gone, they seized Paul and Silas and dragged them into the marketplace to face the authorities.


Acts 17.5 But the Jews were jealous; so they rounded up some bad characters from the marketplace, formed a mob and started a riot in the city. They rushed to Jason's house in search of Paul and Silas in order to bring them out to the crowd.


Acts 17.23 For as I passed by, and beheld your devotions, I found an altar with this inscription, TO THE UNKNOWN GOD. Whom therefore ye ignorantly worship, him declare I unto you.

V.25 Nor is He worshipped with men's hands, as though He needed anything, since He gives to all, life, breath and all things

Then there was God

HE IS ALPHA AND HE IS OMEGA....HE IS MY BEGINNING AND END...HE PRECEDES YOU AND WILL OUTLAST YOU (FOR HE NEVER DIES, HIS LOVE NEVER DIES)

Psalms 124: 2 - 5, 7 - 8
if it had not been the LORD who was on our side, when men rose up against us, then they would have swallowed us up alive, when their anger was kindled against us; then the flood would have swept us away, the torrent would have gone over us; then over us would have gone the raging waters. We have escaped as a bird from the snare of the fowlers; the snare is broken, and we have escaped! Our help is in the name of the LORD, who made heaven and earth.


1 Samuel 8:7
And the LORD told him: "Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as
their king.










I AM in your hands, Lord I am
unworthy, all my righteousness is
a rag filthy
tattered
torn
I am the chief of sinners, a worm and not a man
When I presume to walk...I only wallow in dust
In ashes
I am wholly unworthy of your love, to behold your splendor
you are great, I am miniscule…you spilled your blood
I drew your blood (for me). Galaxies in all their majesty
dazzling white doves juxtaposed against brown tree branches
tulips covering rolling hills
stately rocks protruding from gently running streams and brooks
a virile deer panting for water
drinks
...you created all these for me....

Through my trials I never can commiserate with you
before the Sanhedrin you were mocked
before Pilate flogged
Jennifer broke my heart yesterday,
but they stuck a spear in your side….dripping blood and water
but I merely got upset
but I merely moped
the very winds you crafted in the recesses of your mind
chilled you to death, 25 feet high on calvary
the same soldiers that nearly cracked your back
you placed delicately in their mothers arms….
Selah...
We are not worthy of you, Jesus Christ
I humble myself before you, Lord.
I am nothing, you are
Everything
All in all

My crying may last for a night
Buy I feel joy coming in the morning
Jennifer rejected me, but Israel rejected you
chosing Saul for a king
chosing Barabbas instead
I will never again make the mistake of misplaced eminence
my suffering will never equal yours
you suffered first
you are my creator
you are the firstborn of creation
I love you Jesus




I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18 (I forgive you Jennifer, and I accept your choice not to get involved with me)





--------------

Don't permit your misery or defeats to depress you. Rather let them be steps by which you descend the deep mine where we find the precious
gem of holy humility. - St. Paola Frassinetti

------------------

In The Name Of Jesus

In the name of Jesus,
In the name of Jesus
We have the victory.

In the name of Jesus,
In the name of Jesus
Demons will have to flee.

When we stand on the name of Jesus
Tell me who can stand before.
In the mighty name of Jesus,
We have the victory.

Rapists can find Christmas solace in these words

HOW INTENSELY DO YOU DESIRE TO BREAK THE CHAINS? TURN THE KEY TO YOUR
PRISON CELL? HUH?!!!! (dedicated to pedophiles, rapists, adulterers, homosexuals both inside and outside the church)

[....The thoughts of Silas as he sat next to Paul in prison.......]
John 8:30,36 "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free...So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."

Acts 16:26 "Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everybody's chains came loose.""






My imagination runs wild (usually)...
in the dank night air
mostly I think about white clouds drifting across
the early afternoon sky, a gentle breeze strolling around my face
my friends holding hands laughing
beckoning
my presence at the amphitheater filled with multitudes
my toga freshly washed by my wife so beautiful
in her stola. I kiss her face, I kiss her face again and again
because I am so happy
that's when I lose the ability to perceive anything
and Im back in chains of iron
so heavy
I know Paul is next to me but I can barely tell he's there
its so dark
its hard not to get depressed down here

I can hear the scurrying of rats
Above me, the lighting of torches to guide citizens on streets
I am in chains for customs unlawful for Romans to accept
my regret is palpable
somberness like a cloak envelops me, the date of my release
undetermined
When I was a kid running the neighborhood,
rolling dice with friends, I never anticipated I would play in a cell
condemned
loathed and the victim of society's hatred
hauled off like cattle, too ashamed to watch my mother cry
Now is the time to reflect
Now is the time to pray
To sing in the presence of despair like a bloodthirsty lion

I don't want to be a prisoner anymore
I don't want to be a rapist
an adulterer
a pedophile
a homosexual




(God set me free...set us all free...JEEEEESSSUUUUUUUUUUSSSSS)


TURN TO JESUS TURN TO JESUS...REPENT...TURN TO JESUS TO BE SET FREE FROM YOUR SINS DUDE. COME ON DUDE, DO IT. DO IT DUDE. REPENT MAN. REPENT!


Romans 6:6-7 "For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer
be slaves to sin -- because anyone who has died has been freed from sin."

LINDSAY LOHAN DON'T BREAK UP WITH ME

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2060097024/nm0517820
"So the Lord God sent them out of the Garden of Eden, where they would have to work the ground from which the man had been made" Genesis 3.23
----




I was nothing but a thought...
in the midst of deep blue waters;
like wind hovering over trees, guiding birds of the air and comforting animals that walked the ground.
I was like the myst rising from the earth,
(in spurts)
sustaining the grass and radiant flowers.
Until
You grabbed hold of my unassuming frame like
particles of dirt scooped into piles
like two soft palms of an artisan crafting
and you breathed in me
everything good
everything lovely
everything I am today

Lindsay, because of you I am alive
I love you more than life itself
your red hair is like the sun on the 6th day...
setting when the horizon becomes shimmering haze
when I look at your face, my heart is warmth
and I feel so free
and so naked....but I don't notice
when we are together life is bliss in its simplicity
I gladly steward your joyful world
shepherding my excitement like animals
your kiss makes me a soaring eagle
your laugh makes me a gentle doe
(it would take forever to name them all)
you always told me
"It is not good for man to be alone," so
on the 7th day I rest, only dreaming of you

With all that being said....
please baby, I don't want to die
don't cast me from your presence
I don't want to hurt and live with bitter sadness
like sweat dripping from my brow
I need you now more than ever
I was wrong to take you for granted like a slithering snake shrewdly manipulating your commands.
I am so sorry. Don't break up with me. Don't make me hide from your presence, with guilty eyes.
Don't fold your arms to me like angels with flaming swords of justice.
please baby



PLEASE LINDSAY LOHAN, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. DON'T LEAVE ME. DON'T LEAVE ME. GOD DON'T LEAVE ME. I NEED YOU. I NEED YOU.....I don't want to be alone....



"Then God put winged creatures at the entrance to the garden and a flaming, flashing sword to guard the way to the life-giving tree." Genesis 3.24

Genesis 2:4-7
"This is the account of the heavens and the earth when they were created. When the LORD God made the earth and the heavens- and no shrub of the field had yet appeared on the earth and no plant of the field had yet sprung up, for the LORD God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no man to work the ground, but streams came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being."

I wish I was a woman, Jesus

To the one less advanced on the road of love, this total surrender and complete conformity to God's will might seem a complete loss of freedom. But the one who truly loves seeks to realize the desire of the beloved, to fulfill his expectations to the least detail.
[page 30 "Mother Teresa Come Be My Light"]

------------...So I Could Love You Better/ My Love is so Deep I Want To Be
You *dedicated to Jennifer






You smile
and you wave (in the gym) not knowing
I want your green eyes
to know how it feels as you toss your hair
to the left of your neck or
to push it behind your ears when you
ascend the elliptical
and move your arms and legs back and forth
I want to know what its like
to feel your sweat dripping down my shoulders
and the beating of your heart
inside my chest crescendoing
looking in the mirror and watching

I want your mind as my own
to inherit your desires
and aversions
dreaming your dreams and
aspiring to aspire to all you want
to aspire to
to react as you react when love embraces you
I want to eat what you want to eat
and know intimately your fashion sense
the sartorial delights of your soul
to join in your felicity as I put on
your favorite shampoo
running my fingers through your wet scalp

Let me embody your pleasure
actualize your destiny
For just a day let me be
everything I have ever wanted to be
my soul's most prized possession:
you




[you and me not two people
but one person all the same]




I WISH I COULD BE YOU, SO I COULD KNOW ALL THE WAYS TO LOVE YOU






----------------------



Total surrender consists in giving ourselves completely to God. We must give
ourselves fully to God because God has given Himself fully to us. If God
owes nothing to us and is ready to impart to us no less than Himself, shall
we answer with just a fraction of ourselves? To give ourselves fully to God
is a means of receiving God Himself. I for God and God for me. I live for
God and give up my own self, and in this way, induce God to live for me.
Therefore to possess God we must allow Him to possess our souls. - Mother
Teresa

John 14:17 You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.

1 Cor. 11:7 - For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image
and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man.

Anna is my birthright

*Anna, youre pretty much what I want. I will fight to get you.
Everyone else is an obstacle
[Genesis 25:31] - And Jacob said, Sell me this day thy birthright.
[Genesis 27:19] - And Jacob said unto his father, I [am] Esau thy
firstborn; I have done according as thou badest me: arise, I pray
thee, sit and eat of my venison, that thy soul may bless me.
[Genesis 27:24] - And he said, [Art] thou my very son Esau? And he said, I [am].
---------------------------------------------------------

Jacob to Isaac – Tony to God – give me my birthright, give me Anna






Anna, you are my birthright
From the beginning I thrust my hand forth
Through the womb of that which is impossible and
Discouragement (to try)
The odds against me are hairy
The odds against me are menacing and cynical
And more skilled than I am
More cunning
I am just a plain man
Who dwells in tents
And wishes upon galaxies of bright stars
To be yours
Grasping all our detractors by the heel
I try close my eyes when you look at me to hide the deception
inside

And the world does eat the venison of my adversary
(a man more suitable for you)
but my treachery will be like pottage to the weary mind of the wicked
my presence is a shadow over subconscious thoughts
deep down he knows he wont contend (for you) long
his preeminence - indefinite
I will do whatever it takes to secure you
Even if I must corrupt a man's soul
Robbing him of integrity
For eternity
For your blonde hair
For your blue eyes

Anna, you are the dew of heaven
And the fatness of the earth
My enemy has a quiver and bow
But I have the mind of a progenitor
And a ladder to heaven
I would do anything for us
You are everything to me
Though predicated on lies (Genesis 27:24)







(ANNA , YOU ARE WHAT I WANT. LET ME KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO GET YOU. FORGET LISA,JENNIFER, APRIL, K***, JILL, ELLEN AND ALL OTHER GIRLS BEFORE YOU. I KNOW WHAT I WANT NOW...AND WHATEVER IT TAKES...THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO TO GET YOU)






--------------
I'll fight for every breath unitl there's nothing left of us
I need you to believe in me
Oh my god
-----------------------*dedicated to Kill Hannah "Believer"
And after that came his brother out, and his hand took hold on Esau's heel –
[Genesis 25:26]



Kill Hannah lyrics - "Believer"


It took 8 years just to realize
No one looks when we say goodbye
Dying just to survive
It feels like the first time
All the things that you set aside
All the friends that you leave behind
Just so the curtain will rise and it feels like the first time
Take this heard it's ticking like a cheap clock
I need you to believe in me until theres nothing left of us
I need you to believe in me
Oh my god
We are under the skyline
Through the sirens and flashing lights
You told me "its no use to try anymore
Does it mean that much to you"
At that moment when time stops
All at once, see, the pressure drops
Way in the back of my teeth i knew
That we all could make it
Take this heart, it's ticking like a time bomb
And i'm not running any more!
I'll stand to face it all!
I'll fight for every breath unitl there's nothing left of us
I need you to believe in me
Oh my god
And i'm not running any more!
I'll stand to face it all!
I'll fight for every breath until theres nothing left of us!
I need you to believe in me
Til theres nothing left of us
I need you to believe!
I need you to believe!

She is like 12 stones to me (you know who she is)

LISA YOU ARE LIKE 12 STONES TO ME; YOU ARE A LEGACY FOR GENERATIONS
then ye shall say unto them, Because the waters of the Jordan were cut
off before the ark of the covenant of Jehovah; when it passed over the
Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off: and these stones shall
be for a memorial unto the children of Israel for ever. (Joshua 4:7)
----


BEFORE YOU, BABY

My life was like the Jordan
Dank, vitiated, defiled
For fish and plants – unfit to live
For women and children – unfit to drink
My heart was like a chosen people restless
Crossing their fingers for a promise given
To be fulfilled
In a land flowing with honey
In a land flowing with milk
Staring out at a boundless body of water
Waiting for a sign
And my prayers for you were like the Ark of the Covenant

Lisa, I close my tents at night and hold my chest for you
and I sigh for us
I dream of us in Gilgal
Reflections on your beauty are like a transcendent cloud
Hovering above me
Lighting my darkest nights
(for almost 40 years it seems)

But since I have fallen in love with you
Barefoot Aaronic priests (heralds of romance) stand on the dirty banks
The latent Ark now goes forth
(you inspire me)
causing the oposing waters of my forlornness to stand erect
And uncover dry land
There are 12 stones for 12 months
I will use them each year to remind myself
Each moment I have known you is a gift
You are the reason I drink milk
And honey is so sticky and tastes so sweet
The chosen people have finally reached their shores of destiny
These stones
Are 12 reasons you are so wonderful





"This day have I rolled away the reproach of Egypt from off you"

(Rivers of Impossibility cannot stop the reason I love you)





--------------
And those twelve stones, which they took out of the Jordan, did Joshua
set up in Gilgal. And he spake unto the children of Israel, saying,
When your children shall ask their fathers in time to come, saying,
What mean these stones? Then ye shall let your children know, saying,
Israel came over this Jordan on dry land. For Jehovah your God dried
up the waters of the Jordan from before you, until ye were passed
over, as Jehovah your God did to the Red Sea, which he dried up from
before us, until we were passed over; that all the peoples of the
earth may know the hand of Jehovah, that it is mighty; that ye may
fear Jehovah your God for ever. (Joshua 4:20-24)

I want Jesus like Rose McGowan

While the king was at his table,
My perfume gave forth its fragrance.
"My beloved is to me a pouch of myrrh
Which lies all night between my breasts.
My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms
In the vineyards of Engedi."
"How beautiful you are, my darling,
How beautiful you are!
Your eyes are like doves."
"How handsome you are, my beloved,
And so pleasant! (Song of Songs 1:12-16a)
[http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/contributor/1800023489]




------------She is Ravishing. Be Ravishing to Me




When I open my bible all I want
is to touch her pale skin
dark hair and red lips. and feel her lovely black eyes staring
into mine
enticing, alluring and enchanting me
I want vertigo (like day dreaming of us together)
when I read the psalms and proverbs
and the excitement of a girl who dates marilyn manson
when I read the book of revelation [chapter 19]
the lake of fire
to walk on its edge
when I know I dare not look down

I want to be captivated like sexuality
I want to yearn like I yearn for long kisses
with her
I want to sweat from my hands
and gasp for my breath
for the Bible to be Rose McGowan at the MTV music awards
hand in hand
as we walk down the red carpet

Jesus, when you look at me I dont want
the conviction of peter (luke 22)
I want the ecstasy of Solomon
"How beautiful you are, my darling,
How beautiful you are!"
to love you like a sexy woman
on the shores of south beach
under the full moon
the wind is blowing gently yet fervently
Im caressing Rose McGowan's lips
with my thumb





[Selah. JESUS I WANT YOU TO BE MY FIRST LOVE. I WANT TO DESIRE YOU LIKE I DESIRE TO HAVE A WOMAN BY MY SIDE. LIKE I DESIRE ROMANTIC NIGHTS AND FALL EVENINGS WHEN THE WIND PICKS LEAVES FROM THE TREES IN ALL THEIR COLORED SPLENDOR...AND LAYS THEM AT MY FEET]



Jesus, be like Rose McGowan to me, be my first love.....

Katherine Heigl is sexy as Saul

BABY, I WAS BLIND BEFORE I KNEW YOU

*dedicated to Katherine Heigl
www.imdb.com/name/nm0001337/
_____________
Now Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest, and asked for letters from him to the synangogues at Damascus, so that if he found any belonging to the Way, both men and women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem.
...suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him; and he fell to the ground....ACTS 9




Katherine,
I was riding a horse
I was going to Damascus, that was my life
the water was bitter, the bread bland
my sword rusty and the blood it claimed
nameless liquid pouring from faceless men
and loveless, emotionless women
with children purposeless
Life without you was murder
I shot arrows at the moon at night
I made my bed in the lions den
I cried

Then,
Your blonde hair, like a sudden flash from heaven
blinded me...before your beauty I could barely
Stand
(Nor eat nor drink for 3 days)
I was a persecutor of life, living with no meaning
But now the thought of us together
Has brought clarity, the thought of kissing you
is like peeling scales from my eyes
I now see what Stephen saw
and renounce the stones
and renounce the paradigm of death
Because of you, girl. You are so sweet like
Ananias

Come with me, marry me
lets flee my old life like the Jews
I will not turn back. I will love you forever
I will hug you forever
Let my ambition protect me from losing you
it will lower me down from the wall
In a large basket

(Katherine, I need you girl)


....but his disciples took him by night and let him down through an opening in the wall, lowerng him in a large basket Acts 9.25

Baptism is important as Jennifer Connelly

* dedicated to Jennifer Connelly, probably one of the most gorgeous
women of all time....
* dedicated to my man John the Baptist – what up son? How you livin?
Where da water at son?
-------------------I WANT TO BAPTIZE JENNIFER CONNELLY
Behold, I will send my messenger, and he shall prepare the way before
me: and the Lord, whom ye seek, shall suddenly come to his temple,
even the messenger of the covenant, whom ye delight in: behold, he
shall come, saith the LORD of hosts. –
Malachi 3:1
------------ http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000124/



I can see you from across the Jordan
In all your splendor
Your two eyes – green as new foliage
Heralding spring in a wilderness barren
Your hair – onyx like the sky surrounding my
Restless nights
Beads of sweat pouring from my brow
Awaiting the promised One
Jennifer you are the one prophesied about
Jennifer,
I love you, I want you, I need you
I am unworthy to untie your sandals

I am desperate for you girl
I want you more than locusts
You are sweeter than wild honey
And the fresh air on an autumn night (like tonight)
If only you would let me prepare your way
I would do anything
I would do anything
even grant repentance to broods of vipers, cunning
In Camel attire
Held only by a leather belt
For you

You are so gorgeous
And the water so calm, yet
My hands quiver
My mouth is parched and dry
You are flawless no sin indwelling
To bury you in water
To resurrect you above the surface
Is pointless
I am confused and too nervous to try
Though I know
to touch you is the totality of my being
inside my soul cries out
(isn't she lovely, isn't she great, isn't she my love?)
Look, the lamb of God






MAN, JESUS I NEED YOU TO GIVE ME A WOMAN LIKE JENNIFER CONNELLY, DAWG. I WOULD BAPTIZE THE BEJESUS OUT OF HER! I WOULD CLEANSE HER FROM ALL HER SINS - SINS SHE COMMITTED IN JERUSALEM AND JUDEA. THOUGH SHE IS TOO HOT FOR ME, I CANT EVEN UNTIE HER SANDAL, I HOPE ONE DAY SHE COMES TO ME...KINDA LIKE A PROPHECY COME TRUE. YA HEARD? HOLLA!

Matthew 3:13-16
Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John. But John tried to deter him, saying, "I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?" Jesus replied, "Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness." Then John consented. As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."

John 1:29
The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, "Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!

hOllY mARie cOMbS (is Hosea chapter 2)

DEDICATED TO HOLLY MARIE COMBS
Holly Marie Combs, I don't want to fall in love with you, I don't...(but I already have)
http://tv.msn.com/celebs/celeb.aspx?c=317054&mp=p&vpid=281216

[Hosea 2:13 – I will punish her for the days she burned incense to the
Baals; she decked herself with rings and jewelry, and went after her
lovers, but me she forgot," declares the LORD.]







My fear
Is that you will be like Gomer and leave me
You are everything I desire, like God
But it is Baal you chase after (with silver and gold)
When all Ive ever wanted is to rub your hair
With your head on my lap
Resting
Enjoying
Our mutual gaze intact perpetually
Our heart beats synchronized perpetually
And
I love your smile; intoxicating

Next to Baal I feel like a common man
And you the celebrity
Distant and aloof but I am determined to win your hand
My love will betroth you to me in faithfulness
So you wont want him anymore
I will make you swoon (nobody can do better for you)
So affected, his name will be removed from your lips
My kiss is like grain
My kiss is like wine and oil
My kiss is like Jezreel

Holly, don't forget my feelings for you
They are memorials
On the altar of our relationship
Let them be like smoke rising from the fatted calf
Forget Baal, though momentarily appealing
Remember me like
Jehovah




(Loving you hurts. I wish I could deny my feelings for you but I cant.
I don't want to be in love with you, girl...I...I....I love you but stop
hurting me!)



[Hosea 2:14-16
"Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her. ]









There I will give her back her vineyards,
and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
There she will sing as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt.
"In that day," declares the LORD,
"you will call me 'my husband';
you will no longer call me 'my master.
---------------------------

Good Charlotte - Dance Floor Anthem (I don't wanna be in love)

She's going out to forget they were together
All that time he was taking her for granted
She wants to see if there's more
Than he gave she's looking for

He calls her up
He's trippin' on the phone
Now he doesn't want her out there and alone
Now he knows she's moving it
Knows she's using it
Now he's loosing it
She don't care

Everybody
Put up your hands Say:
I don't wanna be in love, I don't wanna be in love
Feel the beat now
If you've got nothing left say:
I don't wanna be in love, I don't wanna be in love
Back it up now
You've got a reason to live say:
I don't wanna be in love, I don't wanna be in love
Feeling good now
Don't be afraid to get down say:
I don't wanna be in love, I don't wanna be in love

He was always giving her attention
Working hard to find the things she mentioned
He was dedicated
By most sucka's hated
That girl was fine
But she didn't appreciate him

She calls him up she's trippin' on the phone
Now he had to get up and he ain't coming home
Now he's trying to forget her and
The salary came with him
When he first met her
When they first got together

Everybody
Put up your hands Say:
I don't wanna be in love, I don't wanna be in love
Feel the beat now
If you've got nothing left say:
I don't wanna be in love, I don't wanna be in love
Back it up now
You've got a reason to live say:
I don't wanna be in love, I don't wanna be in love
Feeling good now
Don't be afraid to get down say:
I don't wanna be in love, I don't wanna be in love

To the beat
To the beat
To the beat

You got nothing to lose,
Don't be afraid to get down

We break up it's something that we do now
Everyone has got to do it sometime
It's okay
Let it go
Get out there and find someone

It's too late to be trippin' on the phone here
Get off the wire
Now everything is good here
Stop what you're doing
You don't wanna ruin
The chance that you got to
Find a new one

Everybody
Put up your hands Say:
I don't wanna be in love, I don't wanna be in love
Feel the beat now
If you've got nothing left say:
I don't wanna be in love, I don't wanna be in love
Back it up now
You've got a reason to live say:
I don't wanna be in love, I don't wanna be in love
Feeling good now
Don't be afraid to get down say:
I don't wanna be in love, I don't wanna be in love

No
No

Now you know what to do
So come on
Feelin' good

Hayden Panettiere is like my Pentecost. LIKE PENTECOST

HAYDEN PANETTIERE, IM IN THE UPPER ROOM, FILL ME WITH YOUR SPIRIT BABY
http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/5819/Events/5819/HaydenPane_Caulf_12870988_400.jpg.html?hint=nm06593630

So, then, the Holy Spirit is the River, and the abundant River, which
according to the Hebrews flowed from Jesus in the lands, as we have
received it prophesied by the mouth of Isaiah. This is the great River
which flows always and never fails. And not only a river, but also one
of copious stream and overflowing greatness, as also David said: "The
stream of the river makes glad the city of God." St. Ambrose of Milan

[Acts 1:5] for John truly baptized with water, but you shall be
baptized with the Holy Spirit not many days from now."









Hayden,
There is fear of the Jews throughout the land (you spurning me)
so we run from Mount Olivet
from persecution
and huddle together in the Upper Room.
My devotion to you is as strong as a band of disciples
Peter, James, John, and Andrew; Philip and Thomas
and we wait for you
(with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus)
Ten days ago you left me disconsolate, stolen by the clouds.
I thought it was a hoax
I thought I was dreaming until I was confronted by two men
arrayed in dazzling white apparel
they say my love for you must be unfurled before we meet again
from Judea to Samaria...to the end of the earth
till the end of the age
so, shortly after that
I want to kiss you and marry you and entwine my arms around you
and run my fingers through your blonde hair
and tickle your face with it

With you not present my heart is Gethsemane
betrayed by Judas.
Its despair is like Justus, hopefulness like Matthias
and I would choose Matthias even if the lot was cast for Justus
I choose to believe we will stay together
distance notwithstanding
I will tarry till Pentecost
I will pray
I will use the stars as my pen, writing love notes to you
in the center of my soul
until your spirit comes for me like the sound of rushing winds
and you rain down tongues of fire for me
so I can proclaim my zeal for you in new languages
(variants to confuse the doubters of the nations around us
that prognosticated our demise)

Hayden, baby, honey, girl
your love for me is glossolalia
it fills the whole house around me
when I thought our love would wilt under persecution
you imparted strength and jubilee
youre on TV now but I know one day soon you'll come for me
one day soon
please come back for me


(UNTIL THEN, I WILL TELL THE WHOLE WORLD ABOUT YOU, BABY. SNOOKUMS!!! YOU BLONDE BOMBSHELL! MY NUMBER ONE HONEY BUNCH!!!! I LOVE YOU GIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLL)






[Acts 2:1-4]And when the day of Pentecost was now come, they were all
together in one place. And suddenly there came from heaven a sound as
of the rushing of a mighty wind, and it filled all the house where
they were sitting. And there appeared unto them tongues parting
asunder, like as of fire; and it sat upon each one of them. And they
were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and began to speak with other
tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.

[Acts 2:38-39]
And Peter said unto them, Repent ye, and be baptized every one of you
in the name of Jesus Christ unto the remission of your sins; and ye
shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For to you is the promise,
and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as
the Lord our God shall call unto him.

Tila Tequila and Tony (LOVERS)

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/28/fashion/28fame.html?ex=1351224000&en=cae679f3a291950c&ei=5090&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss

TILA TEQUILA YOURE SO WRONG FOR ME, BUT BABY, I WANT US TO MAKE IT RIGHT (TOGETHER). I LOVE YOU BABY, (i love you so much right now)


[[[[She replied, "Do me a special favor. Since you have given me land in the Negev, give me also springs of water." (Joshua 15:19)

She gives no thought to the way of life; her paths are crooked, but she knows it not
(Proverbs 5:6)

Every valley shall be filled in, every mountain and hill made low. The crooked roads shall become straight, the rough ways smooth (Luke 3:5)]]]]]
----





Tila
I am a desert, lifeless and sun scorched
I am cacti and tumbleweeds rolling by at a
lethargic pace
past the ravens, geckos, camels and iguanas
(with eyes as black as night, and countenances of death)
Like me, they are jaded as thoughts of the grave supplant
Thoughts of rain
For us the sand is becoming
It is our sea, our laughter, our lush green foliage in a lush landscape
Green
We are bound together as brothers in helplessness
We need each other
In the Negev
(Without you, guuuuuurrrrrlllll)

Tila, come for us
You are desert springs and cool night air in high noon
Baby, you are Palm Trees with shade
My oasis of hope and love
and vegetation
and white swans with inspiring eyes (floating by)
Embrace me, adore me, hold me
make my life a straight path that was before you
crooked
bring with your sweet, gentle kisses cumulonimbus clouds
and for me, promises of better days ahead
Fill the valleys
Make every mountain and hill low

Tila,
I will fill you a spirit of joy
and appreciation
hand in hand we will ride camels into the early
evening
the orange sun will protect us
and provide for us
Baby girl, I need you
I need you to leave those lesbian girls behind


(Lie with me, Lie with mankind*.please honey?)





-------------------------
Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. (Leviticus 18:22)

For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. (Romans 1:26-27)

Paul Oakenfold, Sarah McLachlan, Tony

In this white wave
I am sinking
in this silence
in this white wave
in this silence
I believe

I have seen you
in this white wave
you are silent
you are breathing
in this white wave
I am free......dedicated to Sarah McLachlan...(she's all that and a bag of chips)



[JESUS....WHAT AM I BECOMING?....I'VE FAILED YOU....BY MY LIFE IVE DENIED YOU...IM PETER IM SINKING (IN SIN) - this is peter's cry]Matthew 26:74b-75
Immediately a rooster crowed. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had
spoken: "Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times."
And he went outside and wept bitterly

Matthew 26:69
Now Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard, and a servant-girl
came to him and said, "You too were with Jesus the Galilean."
-----




Ive seen the worst in mankind (we are condemned, I know it)
Because every night I look in the mirror
and see the floods of Noah in my eyes
We are decrepit history's sordid years have wearied us
The grave is the only cure for our ills
Mocking righteousness
Laughing
Eating, drinking, marrying and being given in marriage
spurning God or manipulating Him for our convenience
to our detriment
Life runs too quickly, passes us by then
Without warning
The skies open
And the heavy rain falls
(the white waves come crashing)

I am not a Galilean
I am not his disciple...she was just a servant-girl
(who would believe her?)
In the courtyard the beads of sweat pouring from my brow
Intermittent flashbacks haunt me
I held out my hand and on water I began to sink…I wanted to save you
then You rebuked Satan....why do You have to die?
my troubled mind plagued me...in the silence under the white moon
it was my only comfort
denial was thrice my only safe haven from fear
once was not enough to quell my paranoia
twice was not enough to shield me from the mobs glare or
the cock's cold stare

In this face the flood waters of Noah surely flow
In my tears I am drowning
I am gasping for air
My life is a lie is bitterness
My only hope after the crucifixion is resurrection
And redemption
For the blood to be spilled...I weep
(and I am free)




(YOU SAY I AM A HERETIC. YOU SAY IVE DENIED CHRIST. YOU SAY WHY DON'T I JUST STOP DOING WHAT IM DOING AND JUST WEEP. YOU ARE THE COCK AND I HEAR YOUR CROW. BUT KNOW THAT I AM JUST PETER, A MAN FLAWED AND FALLIBLE....A MAN FLAWED AND FALLIBLE....but still loved by Christ Jesus)





John 13:38
Jesus answered, "Will you lay down your life for Me? Truly, truly, I
say to you, a rooster will not crow until you deny Me three times.



---------------------------------------------

Silence – Sarah McLachlan (DJ Tiesto's in Search of Sunrise remix) –
Paul Oakenfold – Another World CD



Give me release
witness me
I am outside
give me peace

Heaven holds a sense of wonder
and I wanted to believe
that I'd get caught up
when the rage in me subsides

Passion choke the flower
'til she cries no more
possessing all the beauty
hungry still for more

Heaven holds a sense of wonder...
and I wanted to believe
that I'd get caught up
when the rage in me subsides

I can't help this longing
comfort me
I can't hold it all in
if you won't let me

Heaven holds a sense of wonder...
and I wanted to believe
that I'd get caught up
when the rage in me subsides

In this white wave
I am sinking
in this silence
in this white wave
in this silence
I believe

In this white wave
I am sinking
in this silence
in this white wave
in this silence
I believe

I have seen you
in this white wave
you are silent
you are breathing
in this white wave
I am free

I have seen you
in this white wave
you are silent
you are breathing
in this white wave
I am free

I am free...

Necromancy is for Green-Eyed girls

* dedicated to Jennifer I may have finally found the wife Ive been praying for...if she is wrong for me, Jesus let her be a curse to me....
---------------------
I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil:
I the LORD do all these things. (Isaiah 45:7)
-----------------------------Necromancy - Let the Urim Speak to Me(Exodus 28:30)



Your green eyes to me are like
Urim and Thummim
they are you and me holding hands
together on grassy rolling hills
or lush leaves on clusters of tall sycamore trees
or like halcyon lily pads gliding along tranquil waters
of your dreams
of my dreams
but they are also two ominous portents
the green sky before a tornado's impending carnage
they are the spirit of a savage wolf under the white of the moon
of the winter solstice
pupils glowing, watching
waiting for me
they are pure water soiled with algae
they are pure water soiled with algae

before I cup my hands and drink

I want you to be my woman destined
I feel it in your stare
I see your face when I turn off the lights in my room
Yet deep down inside I want to invoke a curse
on our love
shatter your emotions
rend my fantasies asunder
let us both die young....
after so many failed attempts at love
(I put the Urim and Thummin on my breastplate)
Im afraid to let you near my heart







(damn you and the ground you walk on, Jennifer)


GOD IF SHE IS NOT MY WIFE, LET HER BE ANATHEMA....
JUST LIKE LISA AND KINA

DONT LET HER HURT ME JESUS, I DONT WANT TO HURT ANYMORE

This is about Daniel. Not Daniel B. (thats my man tho)

WHAT HAPPENED TO US, JENNIFER...WHAT HAPPENED? (Daniel Chapter 2)
[Thou, O king, sawest, and behold a great image. This great image, whose brightness was excellent, stood before thee; and the form thereof was terrible. This image's head was of fine gold, his breast and his arms of silver, his belly and his thighs of brass, his legs of iron, his feet part of iron and part of clay.]
-----------






When I first saw you walking down the hall
I gazed upon you
You conjured up dreams
Of us together. I would put my hands on your waist
And your arms would envelop my neck
Slowly we dance
Slowly we stare into each other's eyes
(Mesmerizing because yours are green)
As a married couple flanked by loved ones
At our wedding....
And then we kiss, no longer two but one flesh
It was brightness
I swear to you
It was brightness (like a statue)

You were gold to me, pure and unalloyed
Now you have diminished into iron and clay mixed
Your breast became silver over time
With a heart full of deceit beating
You waist, bronze with an appetite for hurt
And your legs, unable to keep pace
Unable to walk with me through my trials
Unable to find me when I needed you to LOVE ME
Have become iron, heavy and stoic
Apathetic, Impenetrable
Now all I have left is your feet
And your toes
Partly strong
Partly weak
Partly my sexy, faithful workplace crush
The other part like clay– you cold and indifferent

My broken heart is a stone cut out
Without hands falling towards you
It will make me hate you
Despite all we had together
I wanted you to be my boo (why cant you be straight with me?)
Now all I have is mourning. Broken
gold, silver, brass and iron pieces like
chaff of the summer threshing floors
blown away by the wind




(COME ON GOD, COME ON GOD WE CAN GET THRU THIS, WE CAN GET THRU THIS...cant we?)





Thou sawest till that a stone was cut out without hands, which smote the image upon his feet that were of iron and clay, and brake them to pieces. Then was the iron, the clay, the brass, the silver, and the gold, broken to pieces together, and became like the chaff of the summer threshingfloors; and the wind carried them away, that no place was found for them: and the stone that smote the image became a great mountain, and filled the whole earth.


Thou, O king, art a king of kings: for the God of heaven hath given thee a kingdom, power, and strength, and glory. And wheresoever the children of men dwell, the beasts of the field and the fowls of the heaven hath he given into thine hand, and hath made thee ruler over them all. Thou art this head of gold. And after thee shall arise another kingdom inferior to thee, and another third kingdom of brass, which shall bear rule over all the earth. And the fourth kingdom shall be strong as iron: forasmuch as iron breaketh in pieces and subdueth all things: and as iron that breaketh all these, shall it break in pieces and bruise. And whereas thou sawest the feet and toes, part of potters' clay, and part of iron, the kingdom shall be divided; but there shall be in it of the strength of the iron, forasmuch as thou sawest the iron mixed with miry clay. And as the toes of the feet were part of iron, and part of clay, so the kingdom shall be partly strong, and partly broken. And whereas thou sawest iron mixed with miry clay, they shall mingle themselves with the seed of men: but they shall not cleave one to another, even as iron is not mixed with clay. And in the days of these kings shall the God of heaven set up a kingdom, which shall never be destroyed: and the kingdom shall not be left to other people, but it shall break in pieces and consume all these kingdoms, and it shall stand for ever. Forasmuch as thou sawest that the stone was cut out of the mountain without hands, and that it brake in pieces the iron, the brass, the clay, the silver, and the gold; the great God hath made known to the king what shall come to pass hereafter: and the dream is certain, and the interpretation thereof sure.

Jesus is Sexy. I want to tap dat

JESUS, IF U WAS MY GIRL, MY LADY, I WOULD WAX THAT! SERIOUSLY! (be my lover, Jesus, be my lover)

For your husband is your Maker, Whose name is the LORD of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth. Isaiah 54.5

And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might Deuteronomy 6.5







Jesus, I picture your hair long
and curly
your eyes blue, your hips curvy
your breasts full, your legs soft
I would grasp your neck like I would grasp
The tower of David (and scale it)
You are as beautiful as Tirzah, lovely as Jerusalem
Jesus Kiss me
with the kisses of your mouth
Whisper in my ear the secrets of pleasure and joy
and intrigue
I would sit beside you on the crest of the tallest mountain,
Smile as the wind dangled your hair from its hands
then, make love to you

I would worship your feet
and rub them
I would pray and light candles to honor your back
then massage you
We would drink your blood as our wine sleeping
on a blanket of salvation spread for lovers
I would get lost in you (in your flesh, sacrificial)
In your eyes as the two of us
Become one
Jesus you are fair as the moon clear as the sun
Be my lady, please?

Jesus, I need to love you and hold you
I need something to take away this pain
Of being lonely for 8 years rejected by
girls and their families
Why can't I be with someone, I need someone to
Love
Me



(JESUS SAVE ME.....from this loneliness.....love me like a girl would....love me like a girl would...should)


*dedicated to all single people in the washington, dc area*

"Return, faithless people," declares the LORD, "for I am your husband. I will chose you...and bring you to Zion. Jeremiah 3.14

Your neck is like the tower of David, Built for an armory, on which hang a thousand bucklers, all shields of mighty men. Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle.... Song of Songs 4.4_5

I hate all women, this is why

THIS IS NOT CLASSIFIED AS "WE'RE JUST FRIENDS" THIS IS YOUR REJECTION OF ME...THIS IS YOU SPITTING ON ME, AND CASTING LOTS FOR MY CLOTHING...My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death [Mat. 26:38]

He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised and we esteemed him not. [Isaiah 53:3]

When He had said this, one of the officers standing nearby struck Jesus, saying, "Is that the way You answer the high priest?" [John18:22]

Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows [Isaiah 53:4]
-------------






Jennifer, I cant stand people like you
you are a fleet of roman soldiers surrounding me
assisted by destitute chief priests,
Pharisees following an ersatz religion...distant from Truth
and a hedonistic heretic, a black sheep in the flock
trading my life for 30 pieces of silver
my sincerity, and earnestness for a cheap kiss
his eyes vacant
his soul has already departed (for Hades)..vile flesh
and you
and you are complicit in the blood drawn from my cheeks
the balled fist of a spineless officer
leaves me semi-conscious, much to your delight
you hurt me, you hurt me through your words
and your tone, and your inconsistent actions...
Im chaotically dragged before Pilate and flogged on your account
the skin on my back is flayed
(a cat of nine tails is worn, then a fresh one broken in)
the vultures circle above me
I wish I was dead
I cant talk because my mouth is filled with spit

You email me, then stop. You speak to me
then cease. You smile, then ignore me
then fling a 20 foot by 6 inch cross
on my already flayed back...demanding I walk
demanding I posture as if there is any iota
of normalcy left in my life. Im beaten by
ruthless thugs with 3 teeth left
in their mouths full of ridicule and scorn
then you invite me to hang out
as if offering bitter wine and gall to mitigate my torment
it doesn't work
Im dying

Before this all started I prayed in the garden
God prepared an angel to comfort me
This is the worst pain Ive ever felt
(below my naked body my killers roll dice)
Kill me Jennifer, just throw me in the cave
Give my body to Joseph of Arimathea






[THIS IS DEDICATED TO ALL DUDES WHO HAVE BEEN PUPPETEERED BY TREACHEROUS WOMEN WHO MAKE THEM THINK AND ACT AS THOUGH THEY ARE SPECIAL TO THEM, BUT IN REALITY THEY ARE "JUST FRIENDS." LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, WHEN YOU PLAY AROUND WITH A GUY'S EMOTIONS, HE IS GREATLY AFFECTED, OKAY? THIS IS NOT A GAME. THIS IS LIFE AND DEATH. THIS IS MAKING MEN FEEL DEJETCED AND OBSCURE AT THE END OF THEIR DAYS. IF IM YOUR FRIEND, COOL…..ACT LIKE IT. STOP PLAYING GAMES…..YOU GOT THAT WOMEN?.....HUH???]

[JESUS STRENGTHEN ME...WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS ONE LIKE WE HAVE ENDURED ALL THE OTHER TRIALS FLUNG AT ME BY UNGODLY WOMEN……get me through this Jesus...please...no more heartbreak……get me through this God...in Jesus Name...Amen...after this death...we WILL BE RESURRECTED....GIVE ME THREE DAYS GIVE ME THREE DAYS, BABY]







And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, comforting him. [Luke 22:43]

Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb; he saw the linen cloths lying, and the napkin, which had been on his head, not lying with the linen cloths but rolled up in a place by itself. [John 20:6-7]

Loving Lisa Makes Me Like a New Bride

I STILL LOVE HER. I DONT CARE IF SHE DOESNT LOVE ME BACK, OR WANT ME AROUND.. SHE GLAMORIZES ME, MAKES ME NEW.
Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even
though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know
Him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new
creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become
new. (2 Corinthians 5:16-17)
---------------





When I think of her my mind journeys
I think of a maiden with no honor
no make-up, with tattered clothing no money
no male to call companion. I cringe with her at the thought of dark days;
tree limbs knocking upon her bedroom windows
thick covers
thick romance novels thrice read
tissues and body pillows
to ease the indignant suffering of
cold winters, no sun
a heart alone

That is what I was like before Lisa
I walked but I never reached my destiny
I cried but only to grieve never to exult
I kissed but with my soul and never my spirit (I had)
baseless eyes
barren heart going through superficial motions but never
truly beating
I used to hug people just to fall helpless into their arms
a bosom bereft of warmth
only deep unfulfilled desiring
only melancholy

But when I met Lisa
I became a woman engaged to marry
the pride of life possessed me and the phantom spirits fled
from mind, body and soul
I loved her and it cured me I became as one on her wedding day
the thought of her smile adorned my disheveled body with pearls and
the thought of holding hands with her adjacent to a glimmering lake
made me beautiful with a gown luminous and white
the train of my dress reaches to all the places I couldnt walk before
without her
make-up, earrings, lipstick
comely bridesmaids, music from the organ composed by
angels of light
I feel like a beautiful bride when I think of her
no longer a poor, ordinary maiden
empty




DONT YOU SEE LOVING LISA MAKES ME A NEW PERSON? CANT YOU SEE SHE BRINGS MY LIFE NEW MEANING, BURNING AWAY MY OLD PATHETIC LIFE LIKE DROSS? HOW CAN I STOP LOVING HER EVEN IF SHE DOESNT LOVE ME? I LOVE HER AND THAT MEANS IT IS ETERNAL. IM SORRY I WONT EVER STOP TALKING ABOUT HER OR LOVING HER. SHE IS MY ETERNAL BRIDE. LOVING HER IS MY
LIFE




" If we are faithless,
He remains faithful;
He cannot deny Himself." 2 Timothy 2:13

I will be Manasseh after losing you

* ITS BEEN VERY HARD ON ME AS OF LATE, HAVING TO ERASE YOUR MEMORY
PRETENDING I NEVER CARED
He [Tony] sacrificed his sons in the fire in the Valley of Ben Hinnom, practiced sorcery, divination and witchcraft, and consulted mediums and spiritists. (2Chronicles 33:6)




My father defeated the Assyrians
Acquiescent to all the commands of "our God"
But the blood of Ahaz runs through my veins
Which, unlike dad, I am unable to suppress
My love for the Baals
My noble intentions for you like my son
Like my daughter
I burn in the ravaging fire
Of dejection
The most incandescent flames conceal their charred flesh
Painting their screams in vivid hues of orange and blue
Since I lost you Lisa, I harbor so much anger
Hatred in the Valley of Ben Hinnom

Losing you has been so complicated
Its not easy to find another girl to cherish
At work, church or Covenant Life singles meetings
So
I invoke the Goddess, send my prayers to the Mother of all
Creation and the horned God under the full moons
Mediums help me to seek the deceased for answers
Breathing life from dead generations into present
Relief for my agonies
I see women transparent with long white hair and white eyes
Pale skin
Pass behind me
As I gaze in the mirror
Imploring spirits for just a hint of your love
For me

Your absence has become my rebellion
Your disavowal my witchcraft
I hate myself because you hate me
Leaving my throne forever
For the Valley of Ben Hinnom




(Don't call me Tony anymore. Call me Manasseh. Call me the dark child
Plunging the chosen people into death, chaos and the wrath of Jehovah]




[Manasseh was twelve years old when he became king, and he reigned in
Jerusalem fifty-five years. He did evil in the eyes of the LORD,
following the detestable practices of the nations the LORD had driven
out before the Israelites. He rebuilt the high places his father
Hezekiah had demolished; he also erected altars to the Baals and made
Asherah poles. He bowed down to all the starry hosts and worshiped
them. He built altars in the temple of the LORD, of which the LORD
had said, "My Name will remain in Jerusalem forever.." In both courts
of the temple of the LORD, he built altars to all the starry hosts.
He sacrificed his sons in the fire in the Valley of Ben Hinnom,
practiced sorcery, divination and witchcraft, and consulted mediums
and spiritists. He did much evil in the eyes of the LORD, provoking
him to anger.]

Lisa is kinda like Boaz

LOVE ME LISA, BE MY BOAZ, my kinsman redeemer-----
So Ruth the Moabitess said to Naomi, "Please let me go to the field,
and glean heads of grain after him in whose sight I may find favor"
[Ruth 2:2]
-------


When I lie awake [12:03 am] without you
My thoughts are austere
Like a famine
Like two deaths pulling me towards Bethlehem
(afraid of the unknown)
On the arms and neck of Mara
Commiserating
At the start of the barley harvest
In the fall

It is hard being single
So tough to be alone...
(especially without you near me)

Its like being poor in
A foreign land and stigmatized
And hungry
Standing on the fringes of society
Begging for wheat and grain...
The more fortunate men and young comely women
-Six ephahs of barley every day-
Laughing, holding hands
Marrying under the harvest moon
Their lineages intact
Sleeping soundly
Kissing passionately

Lisa, let me watch you
(somewhat wistfully)
As you winnow (your faith) on the threshing floor/
(You always look so beautiful when you do that)
Take me under your wing as I uncover your feet.
and let me gather at your fields of barley freely
No longer a beggar
No longer a stranger to joy
Buy back my lands that have been painfully lost
Redeeming me from the poverty of romance barren
Let us dip bread in vinegar
Together
As I fall in love again and
find favor in your sight



(IF YOU LET YOUR PEOPLE BE MY PEOPLE, I WILL NEVER LET YOU GO)





--------------
Now Boaz said to her at mealtime, "Come here, and eat of the bread,
and dip your piece of bread in the vinegar." [Ruth 2:14]
----------------
Then he said, "Blessed are you of the LORD, my daughter! For you have
shown more kindness at the end than at the beginning, in that you did
not go after young men, whether poor or rich. 11 And now, my
daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you request, for
all the people of my town know that you are a virtuous woman. [Ruth
3:10]



But Ruth said:

"Entreat me not to leave you,
Or to turn back from following after you;
For wherever you go, I will go;
And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;
Your people shall be my people,
And your God, my God.
Where you die, I will die,
And there will I be buried.
The LORD do so to me, and more also,
If anything but death parts you and me." [Ruth 1:16-17]

Why didnt she speak to me, Elisha?

And when the servant of the man of God arose early and went out,
there was an army, surrounding the city with horses and chariots. And
his servant said to him, "Alas, my master! What shall we do?"]
--------------------------------


I wish I had eyes like Elisha, obstinate
not despairing
not fretting
when everything you think you know
vanishes in some cosmic whirlwind of emotion
taken away forever
blown on your knees your
face in the dust
your tears overwhelm your manly restraints

I thought I had her. I thought we would be together
I dream of her palm composed as it rests in mine
and her eyes
filled with content
but she didnt speak to me, I was there yet
not noticed
barely breathing, to God I wished I could send my spirit
loathing
in an instant hope disappeared
the land barren, dust storms

She was my Elijah
without her I am blind;
If I would only see....the lies
The angels that surround me are love enough
preventing my feet
from falling on stones
their prodigious shields deflecting my calamity - loneliness, despair, suicide
I am surrounded by chariots burning: fires of Jehovah's
loyalty
compassion
and even though she's gone
the company I keep will mend my heart shattered
without Elijah,
without her,
I will be just fine



(I SHALL OVERCOME AFTER YOU LEAVE ME)

I will be just fine

SHE DIDNT EVEN SAY HI TO ME THAT DAY.....I WILL DIE WITHOUT HER.....ELISHA ELISHA WHAT IM GON DO MAN? WHAT IM GON DO, DAWG? LISA DOESNT EVEN WANT TO TALK TO ME!



So he answered, "Do not fear, for those who are with us are more than
those who are with them." And Elisha prayed, and said, "LORD, I
pray, open his eyes that he may see." Then the LORD opened the eyes
of the young man, and he saw. And behold, the mountain was full of
horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. So when the Syrians
came down to him, Elisha prayed to the LORD, and said, "Strike this
people, I pray, with blindness." And He struck them with blindness
according to the word of Elisha. (2 Kings 6:15-18)
--------------------------------
You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He
who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. (1 John 4:4)
-------------------------
You tried the pleasures of this world but still there's something missing
'Cause when you close your eyes at night you can feel your heart
still searching
I know you tired of being let down so you lookin' for love in all the
wrong places
So search no more, 'cause it's the life of Christ your soul's been
missing - Trip Lee











------------Trip Lee "Lookin 4 Luv"
All you've been searchin’ and lookin' in all the wrong places
Search no more. Love is here.

Hey I had to write this song 'cause the masses are mistaken
They've confused the word love with infatuation
Its sad 'cause when we lackin love the wrong path is taken
They missing out ‘cause getting true love is past amazing
It's more than a passing statement, a short lasting craving
It ain't refusing not to wait, it ain’t mad impatience
Some been tryna find love in that guy or gal they dating
And before long they hormones are fastly raging
Yeah true love is a must, but that ain't love, it's lustin'
Love would never ask you to ungodly stuff
Its honest plus, it ain’t wrong and hard to trust
Its everlasting and can't happen when the heart's corrupt
Resting on false love you must realized you’ll plummet
'Cause real love is much more than butterflies in ya stomach
Most of us are out of line 'cause really the bottom line
Is we looking for love but ain’t sure what we tryna find

You tried the pleasures of this world but still there's something missing
'Cause when you close your eyes at night you can feel your heart
still searching
I know you tired of being let down so you look for love in all the
wrong places
So search no more 'cause it's the life of Christ your soul’s been missing

We must learn that love is perfect, it never will fail
I'm ready to tell, its needed and forever prevails
It's so glorious, I'm sure we need some more its true
The world’s confused and seems to have a distorted view
Most think love's a sweet kiss, a nice statement in time
But don’t know that love is sacred, its patient and kind
It's not filled with sinful jealousy, doesn't brag and boast
It's priceless and can't be bought with a stack of dough
It's so true. It's not rude. It doesn’t seek its own
It's selfless, I; telling this because we need to know
It's not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs
It forgives, it's a blessing and forever is strong
It don't delight in evil but it likes the truth
It's liberating never fading and it's righteous too
I'd like for you to put love first in here
It always protects, always trusts, hopes, and perseveres

You tried the pleasures of this world but still there's something missing
'Cause when you close your eyes at night you can feel your heart
still searching
I know you tired of being let down so you look for love in all the
wrong places
So search no more 'cause it's the life of Christ your soul's been missing

I can't stress enough the fact that love will never end
It's eternal better than this other stuff so let it in
Such an unusual experience beyond expression
We need it, we gotta seek it, yeah love is a blessin'
Utter perfection, but something most guys will lack
So the remaining real question's, "Where you find it at?"
I know you wondering if you don't wanna die and miss love
Seek Christ, 'cause the Bible says that GOD is Love
For GOD so loved the world, HE would redeem you and me
Yeah it was love that made HIM bleed and cling to a tree
That’s the truth, so without the SON you losing
HE shows love and for that there's no substitution
We try to fill the void with things of all sorts
But let us stop settling for things that fall short
HE can be the lover of our souls turn now to Christ
Lookin' for love? Well true love is found in Christ

You tried the pleasures of this world but still there's something missing
'Cause when you close your eyes at night you can feel your heart
still searching
I know you tired of being let down so you lookin' for love in all the
wrong places
So search no more, 'cause it's the life of Christ your soul's been missing

You tried the pleasures of this world but still there's something missing
‘Cause when you close your eyes at night you can feel your heart
still searching
I know you tired of being let down so you lookin' for love in all the
wrong places
So search no more, 'cause it's the life of Christ your soul's been missing

I blew it with God (Jeremiah 15:6)

When You died, (God)
The sky died too [Mark 15:33]
the world and my heart
suddenly enshrouded in the thickest black.
My eyes fail me but my memory is clear
Dysmas stretching his right arm, reaching for Your Face
tears drenching his cheeks
in all his agony he smiled ( a circumstance I will never forget)
before I could call out for Paradise
Your head dropped and arms fell limp
Terror enveloped the expressions of the crowd below
Then
The sun vanished

I wish I could retract everything I said
I never meant to ridicule Your Purpose
Malign heaven by maligning Your Name
Delighting
While the Roman soldiers cast aspersions
They spit in Your Face
As You stood, They kicked You
Back on Your knees
Inwardly I chuckled when they whipped You with the cords
I would now use to rip my own flesh
In Your stead

If You only turned Your Face once more
And fortune let our eyes meet…
Undo the nails in my hands throbbing
Liberate my feet from the prison on a wood cross suffering
In the healing therapeutic rivers I would bathe
Lay prostrate in Your Presence
...I would have begged You
before it was too late
To take me with You too
To take me with You too



(before the sun abandoned us and the ground began to shudder in disbelief)

------------------------------------------------
*I am the other thief---[not dysmas]--- Luke 23:39----mocking Him
with my last breath


DOES THE CROSS HAVE ITS LIMITS? DOES HIS BLOOD FLOWING DOWN WORMWOOD
STOP BEFORE IT REACHES YOUR HANDS? (as you watch Him die)

DO YOU LIVE FOR CHRIST OR NOT MAN?

* dedicated to my life of sin....my life on the edge....my life
without God guiding me; Him as my focal point mocking Him….my life
without my lover…the wife Ive been praying for....my life at the
judgment seat of Christ...condemned to Hell….on Sunday July 22, 2007
could I have changed it all?.....could I have turned back (to Jesus?)....before it was too late

You have rejected me," declares the LORD.
"You keep on backsliding.
So I will lay hands on you and destroy you;
I can no longer show compassion. (Jeremiah 15:6)

I will winnow them with a winnowing fork
at the city gates of the land.
I will bring bereavement and destruction on my people,
for they have not changed their ways. (Jeremiah 15:7)

---------[Don't let me die in my sins God]---
While it is still day, we must do the work of the One who sent me.
Night is coming. Then no one can work....WHEN HE CAN NO LONGER SHOW
COMPASSION
----[If I do, tell Lisa I love her...with all my heart]-[God I love
that girl!!!!!]------


I will make their widows more numerous
than the sand of the sea.
At midday I will bring a destroyer
against the mothers of their young men;
suddenly I will bring down on them
anguish and terror. (Jeremiah 15:8)

I feel bad for Lindsay Lohan

LINDSAY, LISTEN.
Cyrus has emancipated us
our soulless masters no longer seeking our return
they let the sun shine on our faces again
like a joyful distant memory resurfacing,
this morning we tearfully clenched the grass
normally denied us
(moist and sentimental) freshly with the morning dew
Jehovah,
guide us
guide us
collectively we set our hearts on Mt. Zion

They tore me from the arms of my mother
but my prayer was always
hasten the day when they they tear her from mine
They sent me away weeping,
yet I return laughing
romance and girth to set the city on fire
they burned to rubble
I pick up the pieces of stone
my grandfathers made into a mighty wall
I feel like, in my life
night is passing away I am the messenger to herald
the coming of the Dawn*

Jerusalem shout!
Israel and Judah dance!
Jehovah has pardoned our sins
pagans have ceased endless mockings
Mothers, lift your babies in the air
(high)
tell them our story
a nation besieged by the weight of a guilty conscience
redeemed



(Jehovah has set us free on the wings of an eagle)
*dedicated to Lindsay Lohan, in my prayer life Im riding for you...
don’t worry



-----Psalm 126, dudes!------TELL EVERYONE IM ON TEAM LINDSAY--------
When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dream.
------I BELIEVE IN THAT PROSPERITY GOSPEL, YALL. NAME IT THEN CLAIM IT---------------



God, I know presently I am far beneath Your expectations of me. But I
dare to dream that one day (soon) Your Love will come down from the
stars and drench me with forgiveness - resuscitated hope. God, come
down on me. God, come down on me.....Make me a man worthy of a
thicket crown and.......a cat of nine tails....and a disingenuous
kiss from one held dear. We will rule together as two trusted
friends....we will judge the angels. Until that day, heal me of my
iniquities, mend any open wounds I have with my enemies, bring love
into my life. Eschew those who reject me...yes that sounds about
right....eschew those who reject me......MAKE ALL MY DREAMS COME
TRUE...like in Eden....RESTORE ME TO MY FORMER GLORY....SELAH

Lindsay Lohan, this one is for you. I got you in my prayers and I
love you like you were a close friend of mine in college. I wish we
could have been friends....I would have shielded you from those
malevolent. I think you are a cool person and that will never
change....don’t believe the lies....you can make a comeback....you
can make another Mean Girls....(by the way you looked so hawt in that
movie).....turn to God and like he restored the fortunes of Zion =
LINDSAY LOHAN, HE WILL RESTORE YOU!

I KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE, RUNNING FROM THE EMPTINESS INSIDE YOUR HEART DESPERATELY SEEKING TO CLING TO THE BOSOM OF ANYONE WHO HOLDS OPEN THEIR ARMS.....I SEE IT IN YOUR EYES......GUESS WHAT? JESUS HAS HIS ARMS OPEN AND SO DO I. LETS SHOW THE WORLD THAT DREAMS COME TRUE....LETS GET BACK ON TRACK TOGETHER. HOLY SPIRIT BE WITH US....BE WITH LINDSAY