Tony Conti and Biblical Moses Team With Fiddy and Dre (Newest Members of G-Unit???)

[The setting: Dr Dre's recording studio in the basement of his lavish six story mansion, ensconced in a secluded cul de sac eclipsed from arial view by dense foliage, bamboo fenced walls and a grandiose white marble classical fountain, its water funneled from and running down a sculptor's romantic depiction of the greek gods convening on Mount Olympus. Located on HipHop Ave in this moneyed gated community in Oakland, California, Dre, with this mastery of subtlety of architecture and street nomenclature gently reminds his neighbors and potential visitors not to venture up his stone gravel driveway and sidewalk without a worthy business venture in mind. Black panthers roam the yard aimlessly behind the fence. In the basement, Dre Dre and 50cent stand behind a vast menagerie of recording equipment in the control room: audio mixers, outboard gear, microphones, microphone preamplifiers, instrument preamplifiers, huge Polk room speakers, a keyboard, and a Macbook. Tony and Moses are in the vocal booth behind huge soundproof glass panes with Bose headphones (to communicate with Dre and Fiddy) standing before two microphones attached to fixtures nailed and hanging from the ceiling. 50cent is clad in a Yankees cap, black t-shirt, black pants, and timberland boots while Dre has a grey sweatsuit, the shirt collar barely visible due to his large gold chains, and a pair of the newest Michael Jordan shoes. Tony has on his latest lookbook outfit: jeans, a snazzy shirt and some colorful Sanuk Donny shoes. Moses is wearing an ankle length robe, leather sandals, and an impossibly distracting unkempt beard. Dr. Dre and 50cent are obscured from Tony and Moses' view by a cloud of marijauna smoke, however the mannerisms and movements from their silhouettes portray them as having a great time together.]

Tony (befuddled): Yo, Moze.....what are those cats doing back there?

Moses (shrugging his shoulders): I have no clue.

Tony (sighing): oh well....lets just wait for them to give us da dope beat homie
[Tony gives Moses a dap]

Dre (chuckling): Yo Fiddy.....are you sure these guys have what it takes? I mean look at them, one guy is a 31 year old little pathetic underachiever who rents a house with 4 guys and hasnt had a girlfriend in 12 years and this other cat! (Dre's eyes enlarge as he raises his eyebrows, making a pronounced expression of surprise) WOW! This joker comes up here in a robe! What is he, like 50 something? Sheesh man....you find these guys in the back alleys of LA or something?

Fiddy (smiling, laughing): nah, Dre, son...hear me out dude. Im always on the cutting edge of promotion, avant-garde in the realms of discovering niche talent and capitalizing on it! Vitamin water? (Fiddy spreads his arms open and opens his mouth wide) CHA-CHING!

Dre: ....yeah I hear you. But what does that have to do with these losers? What TINY, narrow, narrow, narrow, corner of the market can they fit in? (Dre shakes his head in disbelief)

Fiddy: Trust me Dre! Give these guys a beat, and they...especially that Moses cat...he will turn it out. Kind of like I did with "In Da Club"
[Dre looks at 50 incredulously. A long silence ensues]

Dre and 50: HAAAA HAAAA HAAAAAAAA!

Dre (laughing hysterically): You wrong for that one Fiddy haaaaaaa!!!!!
[Tony and Moses can hear faint laughter through the soundproof glass even with headphones on. All of a sudden Dre tells the two to get ready and a seductive beat with guitar rifts followed by heavy drums trickles into their ears]

Tony (looking at Moses): You ready son?
[Moses nods]

Moses (rapping with his eyes closed shimmying side to side): yo yo yoooooo. YO YO YOOOOOO!!! Y-Y-YA-YA-YOOOOOO! YO YO YO YO YOOOOOOO....yo yo yo yo yo yiggity yo! YOOOOOOOOO, YOOOO ....YO-YO----YOOOOOOO! yah yah..yah...YEH...YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! yo, yo, yah yah yah yoooooo

Dre (rolling his eyes at Fiddy): The fu** is he doing man? THIS (Dre furrows his brow) is his rap?

Fiddy (stoically then somewhat compasionately): Yo chill Dre...let the boy do his thing.... (a bead of sweat pours from the right side of Fiddy's face that he immediately wipes away)
[Dre puts his face in his cupped hands]

Tony (swaying his body to the beat at first, then slowing as he becomes increasingly concerned):....uhhhhh...buddy....you can start now! Dont waste this bea..

Moses ([interrupting] grimacing then screaming fanatically): YO PHARAOH YOU WANTS TO MESS WITH MEEEEEEEEE???? YOOO-YOOOO.....I'LL HIT MY STICK ON THE GROUND AND MAKE THE WAVES KILL THEEEEEEEE!!! YO-YOO-YOOOOOO

Tony (startled by the yelling then amused at Moses' energy): oh yeah boy!

Dre (lifting his face from his hands, then slowly smiling and looking at Fiddy): ok....OKAY....!!! I LIKE THIS SH**

Fiddy (jumping): I told you BOY!!! I TOLD YOU!!! MY MAN..MOSES GETTING IT IN BOY!!!! I MIGHT HAVE TO DO A CAMEO UP IN THIS BIT**! Thats my man M.Dot.Heezy!!! Jah Jah Jah G---UNIT!

Dre (bobbing his head rubbing his chin): Hmmm...M.Dot.Heezy...I like that!!!!

Moses (spirited): ...YOOOOO! OY OY OY!!! CUZ, SON, CUZ SON!!! WHEN I LOOK AFTER WE CROSS THE RED SEAAAAAAAA....(whispering and swaying side to side)....yo know what I said to my Hebrew peeps...you know what I said my Hebrew peeps.....????....huh?...(pauses)

Tony (looks at Moses anxiously. Then ad-libs lends his vocals): whats dat son?

Moses (smiles at Tony then points to Dre and Fiddy before jumping up and down): LET THE BODIES HIT THE SHORE LET THE BODIES HIT THE SHORE!!!! LET THE BODIES HIT THE SHORE....DONT MESS WITH YAHWEH SON!!! DYING BY DROWNING SON!!! LET THE BODIES HIT THE SHORE!! LET THE BODIES HIT THE SHORE!!! LET THE MOTHA-LOVING EGYPTIAN BODIES HIT THE...

Dre (frenzied, eyes as wide open as before): OOOHHHHH!!!! YEAH! YEAH!! YEAH!!! ITS A HIT!! ITS A HIT!!!

Fiddy (hugging Dre and starting to leap up and down): YEAAAH YEAAAH! GET IT! GET IT MOSES...GET IT M.DOT.HEEZY!!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!
[Fiddy and Dre jump and dance exuberantly in the studio]

Moses: LET THE MUTHA-CLUCKING BODIES EGYPTIAN SOLDIER'S BODIES HIT THE SHORE!!! SHORE SHORE!!!! TO THE PROMISED LAND EGYPT NO (whispers) more...more....more.....

Fiddy (still leaping): G-UNIIIIIIIIITTTTT!!!!