Michelle, you are ....SO FINE. (ooohh la la, a - WIE WIE!!!) I saw your interview on the Golf Channel last night, and throughout the entirety I could barely breathe; you are simply breath taking!!!! Now...get this...I know youre probably like 6'4 in heels...but give a (Christian) brotha a chance!!! Okay? Look I may not be able to make the cut at a PGA event, but maybe I could make the cut on the tour of your good graces??? YOU SEXY JOAB YOU
-----------/An Enemy (Of The Unbeloved), Always /Unpreventable/
Abner was my unrest at being single often pugnacious
and ungrateful given to cursing his fate warring
for the sake of rebellion of the disaffected and rejected formerly
a hired hand for Ishboleth, King of Malcontent lamenting the great fortune
of all those smitten holding each other whilst the bitter winds of disdain
envelop my body at night shivering in lonely pain, no blanket, no warmth
just barren thoughts of Israel (land of the querulous spurned) sharpening
its spears of Jealousy.
Yet sleepless fortnights often force a summit of the soul
I resigned myself to accepting solitude, inexorable isolation incisive
to make peace
with Judah (land of the blithe hopeful romantics) subjugating myself
to accepting their happiness to quell the demons within me
(even if it meant I remained in doleful abandonment forever)
I met with David, King of Wedded Bliss For The Auspicious with feigned alacrity and he feted me with exquisite entrees for the release
of my grip on hatred of not having a girlfriend. For placidity to
supplant my raging passions, tranquility my remorse for having
no one to date (in twelve years). To relinquish my need for a hot babe
acceptance for my singleness to relish not having someone pulchritudinous around me - always.
The twenty soldiers of my ego who accompanied me left with stomachs
of bittersweet fullness, hanging their heads towards an abysmal life
(assenting to the notion tall celebrity women are out of my league)
But watching you on the Golf Channel
(your interview interspersed with clips of you playing golf in all your sophisticated sublime sexiness) was Joab riding past
supplying significant spoil (of salacious sultriness) sword slaked
with enemies' of true adorers' (lovebirds) blood back to the Israel I left
in a covenant of truce and mutual respect. I swore we met eyes...
your comely visage slyly summoned me to my HD TV
(under the guise of innocuous interest in sports)
to the well of Sirah refreshing waters of reflection determined
to stand my ground I sought to softly speak scorn at such suggestions
but up close, I saw the highlights in your pretty hair, the fashion sense
(your leggings, stylish sweater, boots)
Michelle Wie
your beauty is like a dagger thrust under the fifth rib of my resistance
(to falling for you)
bleeding heart of fervent attraction
I want you so bad it kills me
(as much as I try to be someone I'm not: a man content with no woman)
(I give up on giving up on wanting a woman like you! I WANT YOU!!! LETS PLAY GOLF TOGETHER!!! E-MAIL ME THEJESUSMETAPHOR@YAHOO.COM !!!)
------------------/
2 Samuel 3:17-27
And Abner had communication with the elders of Israel, saying, Ye sought for David in times past to be king over you: Now then do it: for the Lord hath spoken of David, saying, By the hand of my servant David I will save my people Israel out of the hand of the Philistines, and out of the hand of all their enemies. And Abner also spake in the ears of Benjamin: and Abner went also to speak in the ears of David in Hebron all that seemed good to Israel, and that seemed good to the whole house of Benjamin. So Abner came to David to Hebron, and twenty men with him. And David made Abner and the men that were with him a feast. And Abner said unto David, I will arise and go, and will gather all Israel unto my lord the king, that they may make a league with thee, and that thou mayest reign over all that thine heart desireth. And David sent Abner away; and he went in peace. And, behold, the servants of David and Joab came from pursuing a troop, and brought in a great spoil with them: but Abner was not with David in Hebron; for he had sent him away, and he was gone in peace. When Joab and all the host that was with him were come, they told Joab, saying, Abner the son of Ner came to the king, and he hath sent him away, and he is gone in peace. Then Joab came to the king, and said, What hast thou done? behold, Abner came unto thee; why is it that thou hast sent him away, and he is quite gone? Thou knowest Abner the son of Ner, that he came to deceive thee, and to know thy going out and thy coming in, and to know all that thou doest. And when Joab was come out from David, he sent messengers after Abner, which brought him again from the well of Sirah: but David knew it not. And when Abner was returned to Hebron, Joab took him aside in the gate to speak with him quietly, and smote him there under the fifth rib, that he died, for the blood of Asahel his brother.
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