[The setting: Tony and Sandra Fluke, together in a GT Bentley Coup, are staked out in front of the red brick three story radio station that broadcasts Rush Limbaugh's nationally syndicated program. Rush is on the second floor entrenched in his broadcast booth, replete with caller board, mixing board, computer and flat screen monitor and a golden microphone affixed to a mechanical arm that holds it in place approximately six inches from his face. Rush is in a seeming state of apoplexy discussing conservative politics to his mass audience with spirited gesticulations and howls, peppered with bits of sarcasm. Tony and Sandra are both wearing Che Guevara t-shirts and matching red head bands, rocking out to Alesana.]
Tony [in the passenger seat. pulling two cigars out of the glove box]: (smirking mischievously albeit pretentiously) Yo Sandra, got a light?
Sandra (looking at Tony in bewilderment): Sorry, I dont smoke.
Tony (a bit dispirited): ....neither do I
Sandra: Then why did you ask me to smoke with you?
Tony (blushing) .....ehhhh, I..I...I dont know. I guess I just wished I was cool, you know. Two cool peoples hanging out in a Bentley getting blazed!!! (voice trailing as he realizes he's beginning to ramble)
Sandra (slightly agitated): Focus Tony! We're here on business....epic business! Instead of drifting and distracting me from the goal I brought you here to be obsequious!
Tony (jolting into an upright position): RIGHT! Lets get Limbaugh! Lets get that SUMBIT...
Sandra (interrupting due to objectionable language): TONY!!!!
Tony (embarassed):....oops! ....(whispering) get errr done?
[Tony puts his chin on his chest in defeat]
Sandra (chuckling, then opening the door): Lets go silly
[Tony and Sandra surreptitiously creep through the front door of the building and take the elevator to Rush's floor...Sandra walking quietly, Tony front rolling and crawling and drawing considerable attention to himself. All the while Sandra is shaking her head; Tony and Sandra enter Rush's studio office and approach him]
Rush (aghast): W...W...WHAAAAT? HOW THE FUUUU
Sandra (cynically delighted): uhhh-huh! Time to pay up fat boy!!!
Tony (yelling): YEAH THATS RIGHT SON! WE UP IN HERE, UP IN HERE! NOW GET ON YOUR KNEES FOOL ....AND TELL ME YOU LOVE ME!!!
[Tony forms his hand into the shape of a gun and mimes a stick-up]
Rush (cowering on the floor, covering his face): Just dont steal my money, tar baby aka Donovan McNabb!!!!
Sandra (chuckling at Tony and dismayed at Rush simultaneously]: shhhhh! stop yelling Tony! No no no Rush get up! And by the way, youre still on air, loose lips!
Rush (standing up, wiping his pants, relieved):.....ohhhhh [looking at Tony] hes black, Sandra not to worry! nobody cares if I insult black people...OOPS!
[Rush pushes the commercial button, stalling the live feed]
Sandra: Now Rush, you've spewed some really vile, deplorable things out of your mouth in the last few days that have truly pricked my soul. You were wrong for all the horrible things you've said about me, and all women writ large! Women have achieved far too much, and garnered to many gains in civil rights in this country for me to allow you to squelch our voices and by association, our importance.
Rush (condescendingly sneering): Now look toots, I already told you I was sorry, okay? How bout you give "good ol sugar daddy" some loving?
[Rush spreads his arms and gestures to Sandra to come hug him]
Sandra (peeved, looking at Tony): ahem! Tony! As we agreed....! (Sandra folds her arms and rolls her eyes at Rush)
[Tony flails his arms in front of his chest, bends them at forty five degree angles putting both of his forearms in front of his face with balled fists. Then he bends his left knee and stretches his right leg forward (in a karate stance) then advances towards Rush.]
Tony(whispering) : Dana White....this is for you! Long live the UFC!!! Anderson Silva beat Chael Sonnen! freeeedddooooommm!
Rush (nervously amused but closely watching Tony move forward): What? I cant hear you gangsta rap boy! What are you? Like 5'7? What are you doing? Midget Bruce Leroy? Man, get out of here...LIL WAYNE!!! GET IT??? HAR HAR HAAAARRRRR!!! (Where's Hannity when I need him?) SECURI-
[Tony kicks Limbaugh in the chin propelling his body backwards into the mixing board, thus snapping his broadcast desk in two. Rush's microphone lands on his head, followed by the monitor the force of the succesive hits knocking him unconscious. Sandra and Tony celebrate with high fives.]
Sandra (smiling at Tony): I guess that's one way to stop his vitriol!
Tony (smiling): Yeah...and hey, I always wanted a golden microphone! Lets get out of here!
[Sandra heads for the elevator while Tony scurries to grab the microphone]
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