Spellbinding Love, Unparalleled

Saint Maximillian Kolbe: "The union brought about by married love is the most intimate of all. In a much more precise, more interior, more essential manner, the Holy Spirit lives in the soul of the Immaculata [Mary], in the very depths of her being"

*dedicated to Paramore "Miracle"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Om6nNA_46EU


------------------------[ Spellbound :The Holy Spirit’s Serenade to Mary Before Her Fiat]


If the moon had eyelids
it would keep them shut in your presence
just to hear the drumming of your heart
just to hear you inhale, and exhale
so beautifully
then it would shiver, covering itself with luminescence
gazing as you lay innocently at rest
in its reverie of your comeliness
as the winter winds blow on Galilee
ushering in my Love as it settles in Nazareth
(dancing betwixt falling snow)
intent on being with you

And I want to wash away your sin
so you can stand before me immaculate
pristine in your soul, pure in your devotion
fervent in your loyalty
magnanimous and glorious
tender and perpetually blessed by my protection
kissed and hugged
as I entrust to you my dreams of redemption
salvation of a lost world
that aggrieves me. You are the portal for my future
contentment, the Ark containing my ideals
the womb containing the Words of Truth that I wish
all to hear
You are all that I cherish and esteem and hold dear
Heaven’s Queen
Forever Blessed by all generations henceforth

If the angels could trade their immortality
they would gladly die just to hold your hands
grazing your fingertips across their faces
sitting beside you staring at the stars
yearning for a perfect creation




---------------------------
The angel answered, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. – Luke 1:35

Here is the slave of the Lord. May it happen to me as you have said. -Luke 1:38


----------------Paramore, Miracle lyrics ----

I've gone for too long living like I'm not alive
So I'm going to start over tonight
Beginning with you and I
When this memory fades
I'm gonna make sure it's replaced
With chances taken
Hope embraced
and have I told you?

I'm not going
cause I've been waiting for a miracle
And I'm not leaving
I won't let you
Let you give up on a miracle
When it might save you

We've learned to run from
Anything uncomfortable
We've tied our pain below and no one ever has to know
That inside we're broken
I try to patch things up again
To calm my tears and kill these fears
But have I told you, have I?

I'm not going
Cause I've been waiting for a miracle
And I'm not leaving
I won't let you
Let you give up on a miracle
When it might save you

It's not faith if, if you use your eyes
Oh why
We'll get it right this time (this time)
Let's leave this all behind
Oh why
We'll get it right this time
It's not faith if you're using your eyes
Oh why

I've gone for too long living like I'm not alive
So I'm going to start over tonight
Beginning with you and

I don't want to run from anything uncomfortable
I just want, no
I just need this pain to end right here

I'm not going
Cause I've been waiting for a miracle
And I'm not leaving
I won't let you
Let you give up on a miracle
Cause it might save you

Yeah, it might save you
Oh, it might save you

It's not faith if, if you use your eyes
If you use your eyes
If you use your eyes

The Blood-Soaked Moon

--------[Obstinacy: The Thoughts of Jesus As His Mother and Brothers Sought Him Out]-------------------



Is it possible
that normal is crazy, and crazy normal?
that sickness, disease, death, poverty
are aberrations, distortions of reality
cloaked in our consciousness
entrenched in our innermost conceptions
of fate, destiny and the end of existence ever nearing?
What if our eyes are closed
oblivious to light
eyelids fastened, our spiritual bodies at rest?
comatose minds
dormant hearts dreaming of the dawn of a new age?
and we wipe the tears from our eyes in our sleep
(joy from warm thoughts) on winter nights
shivering from the chilled winds of
memories of a distant self
alter egos of yesteryear
so that my Words are nonsensical and elicit scorn and derision
monstrosities causing concern and dismay
yet all the while beguiling
and irresistible
because when my touch purifies a leper's skin
and the sound of my voice resurrects the dead
.....something inside of you awakens
like a soul reclaimed from bitterness and despair
you begin praying for the blood soaked moon
because you know you will never fall asleep again




(basking in the sunlight of Truth forevermore)


---------------------------------
Luke 8:19-20
Now Jesus' mother and brothers came to see him, but they were not able to get near him because of the crowd. Someone told him, "Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to see you."

A Huge Stone of Unbelief

-------[A Huge Stone of Unbelief/The Angel's Words to Mary Magdalene Upon Arriving at The Empty Tomb/]



I saw you last night at the Pool of Bethesda
stepping over sleeping invalids
quietly lifting arms, and legs from the ledge
so you could dip your hands and wash the blood stained
memories of carrying His lifeless battered body
to the tomb a day before
and your grief is a hallucinogen because you screamed
(much to the chagrin of those resting, who murmured and groused)
but the clear water didn't transmute into thick blood
neither did the white moon into crimson, with leaden skies
nor were there captious Roman soldiers standing over your bed
the past two nights, waiting for you to rise
(you were dreaming)

your mind is troubled from all you've seen
but you look for Jesus in the wrong place –
a graveyard is fit only for those content with perpetual mourning
with burying unfulfilled longings
and letting go of completion
your people are still enslaved by Romans,
the poor by lack of a living wage
the lion and the lamb are still enemies, and the nations
have not beaten their swords into plowshares
the world is still laden with the yoke of Satan
...prisoners still groan to be set free
shackles loosened, melancholy and frowns reversed
evil has yet to be bound and the righteous vindicated.
Your witness to the crucifixion does not give
your lack of faith tacit approval
though you saw His cruel death, you are still to believe
and embrace expectation in your heart
and repudiate your nightmares....
you don't need me to roll away big stones (of doubt)
because in Heaven, with the Father
there is more work to be done
hope never dies
for the One to bring all things to fulfillment



-------John 20:10-16--------------
Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, "They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don't know where they have put him!" So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. Then Simon Peter, who was behind him, arrived and went into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, as well as the burial cloth that had been around Jesus' head. The cloth was folded up by itself, separate from the linen. Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed. (They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.)Then the disciples went back to their homes, but Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus' body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot. They asked her, "Woman, why are you crying?" "They have taken my Lord away," she said, "and I don't know where they have put him." At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus. "Woman," he said, "why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?" Thinking he was the gardener, she said, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him." Jesus said to her, "Mary."

---------------Matthew 28:1-7
After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men. The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."

The Setting

[The setting - A small dimly lit basement with off-white carpet. Centered in the room is a defunct fireplace encased with brick walls on 3 sides and raised on a 2 foot brick ledge beneath. (The remaining wall in the room is covered by wood paneling) 3 small disparate couches are arranged around the fireplace – one perpendicular, one adjacent and one opposite - various paraphernalia, such as clothes, books and notebooks are adorned on each in various fashion. A metal bar with clothes on hangers affixed lies across two window sills to the right of the fireplace. On the far left side of the room against the wall, is a full size air mattress, two cardboard boxes filled with shoes, and two plastic clothes bins line its left and bottom borders. An old wooden dresser with dark brown finish sits on the far wall opposite the fireplace and behind one of the couches. Clothes bins and magazines embellish the dresser. Stairs leading from the basement to the kitchen and laundry room are next to the dresser. Tony is seated on the couch opposite the fireplace around 12:39am thinking of a new topic to write about for his blog…thejesusmetaphor.blogspot.com when suddenly an angel appears in dazzling white apparel. Tony falls prostrate on the ground]

Angel: Rise, do not be afraid

[Tony arises] Tony: who, who are you?

Angel: I am Raphael, sent from Jesus Christ the Messiah who has come in the flesh.

Tony: .......

Raphael: I wanted to send salutations from God the Father, and Jesus Christ His only son. Your next two blog entries on the sufferings of Jesus in death are most appreciated. Jesus is most glorified and most honored amongst those who believe in His death and resurrection!

Tony: Word?

Raphael: ........

Tony: Yo doo, before you bounce up out this joint or whatever, whatever tell me something…

Raphael: yes?

Tony: son! I really want to get married homeboy. When will I get married, and who is my wife! I have been praying for days about this woman!

Raphael: I could tell you, but then I would have to kill you

Tony: .......? Huh

Raphael [laughing out loud]: good one eh? Look, don’t focus on that. All in God’s timing right? Read Matthew regarding seeking God’s Kingdom firstly. You will find her when you have the courage to ask who she is. Write those two blog entries. To God be the Glory. [Raphael disappears]

Tony: wa….waaa.wwaaait! Is she Kim Kardashian? Hey Raph, come back, come back! Is she Ashanti, Jennifer Connelly? Come baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackkkk!!!!!!!

Projection of A Divine Memory - featuring Raphael

He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living....Isaiah 53:8a
And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death....Isaiah 53:9a

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVuhf9_WgW4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9dLsyUSzxs
(Click those links! Imagine Jesus listening to this song right before the angel of death slays Him!)

--------------------------------////Projection of A Divine Memory: The Thoughts of Jesus Hanging on The Cross As He Sees the Angel of Death Raise His Sword///----------------


I don’t believe in ghosts
I believe life projects from your dead flesh
as a visible memory

[Raphael dancing around: I like that…take that, take that]

and all your deeds, all your fears, and envies
become one voice enunciated at one pitch: shrills
and to those left living they sound like the fierce winds on winter nights
howling as the moon and the clouds stare stoically from above

[Raphael: I like this]

when the dead cry everyone feels rain, and if the righteous perish
then Hades rages- hurricanes, and earthquakes evince
creation’s disdain.
I saw Moses and Elijah on the mount
they told me the worst part is crossing over to the other side
and my disciples thought I was a ghost as I walked past them on the water

[Raphael: So Tony, what are you saying? Get to the point, son!]

I was beaten, I was mocked
thistles tied together and driven through my scalp
deserted and left alone
nails in my hands and feet.....throbbing hurt
carrying my own cross, carrying my own shame
relatives, people I went to school with, all see me naked now
hoisted in the air in ignominy
and my heart is throttled everytime I raise my chest to breathe
cruelly wringing the vitality from my soul
Yet I don't pray for help anymore, only for those I leave behind
because they still feel the pain of a fallen world
the subconscious hatred of men destined for a lake of fire
in their dreams they gnash their teeth, and grimace
and women cry because true love was lost in paradise
Adam isn't the same anymore, neither was Cain
from the ground they have ploughed and wrought despair
for all generations
Im afraid to leave this place, but I know I must go
otherwise the winds will keep growing stronger
and peace will be omitted from lexicons henceforth
all we know is war and dying and killing and thieving
forgive them Father
forgive them for all the wrongs they have committed
bless them Father
bless them because they will come to believe in my Name
and remember me
(and bless Me, in my frailty and fears)
It is into Your Hands that I commit my Spirit


......I can see death raising his sword now....


[Raphael: Uhnnnn, uhhhnnn, take that take that!]
(featuring The Angel Raphael as P-Diddy)





[So the soldiers took charge of Jesus. Carrying his own cross, he went out to the place of the Skull (which in Aramaic is called Golgotha). Here they crucified him, and with him two others—one on each side and Jesus in the middle. John 19:16b-18]
[Now is my soul troubled; and what shall I say? Father, save me from this hour: but for this cause came I unto this hour. John 12:27]


-----Escape the Fate "My Apocalypse" Lyrics ---

There's a place that I've found
As far as I can see
This place lies within
The depths of my dreams
In a garden surrounded
By fire and trees
Through the smoke a silhouette I can barely see
There’s a man with an axe
Standing in the rain

Looked me straight in the eyes
This is what he had to say

Never fall asleep
You won't wake up
Destroy the guillotine
Before he does

I walk with shadows
(you have to find a better way)
I walk with shadows
(the questions I will never say)
Hiding from the gallows
(they keep me safe and sound)
So I walk with shadows
(the ways of burning down this house)

End transmission
The satellites are down
I need an earthquake
To shake this pity
OFF THE GROUND

Just don’t trust these liars at the door
(you have to find a better way)
Kill the ones that have these answers for
(the questions I will never say)

Never fall asleep
You won't wake up
Destroy the guillotine
Before he does

I walk with shadows
(you have to find a better way)
I walk with shadows
(the questions I will never say)
Hiding from the gallows
(they keep me safe and sound)
So I walk with shadows
(the ways of burning down this house)

End transmission
The satellites are down
I need an earthquake
To shake this pity
Off the ground

All the vibrant colors I see
And the shades that fill the grey

Pain
The pain
Pain
The pain
Pain the pain
Pain

Pain
The pain
Pain
The pain
Pain the pain
Pain

Hiding from the gallows
(you have to find a better way)
I walk with shadows
(the questions I will never say)
Hiding from the gallows
(they keep me safe and sound)
So I walk with shadows
(the ways of burning down this house)

Handmaid

* Dedicated to the Virgin Mary
*Dedicated to Escape the Fate, "Friends and Alibis"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9nWGlLwyA0
(click it, if you know whats good for ya!)

And I will put enmity between you and the woman.... Genesis 3:15

--------/Handmaid to Destiny/The Thoughts of Mary after Gabriel Left Her----------------


Let the Holy Spirit come upon me
Let Him transfix me
and the thread of my heart unravel across troubled emotions
and the mountains fall into the sea
and the earth's surface open wide and swallow
all of my preconditions, dreams and autonomy
....my people are held hostage, bound by sins of our fathers
murderers of prophets, architects of Baal, temples of Ashtaroth
the screams of children burned alive on altars cry out
adjuring me not to let their blood rest unavenged
the angels in heaven pray
Moses, Joshua and Hezekiah pray
please retaliate
please usher salvation into Jerusalem, please herald the coming
of the King to end all kings
eternal Kingship and peace on earth
lions and children playing in the grass together cloud
my visions and I cant eat regularly
because my marriage wont be the same, my mom wont
be a great grandmother
and I will never know quiet obscurity
but the world needs a Savior, we need liberation
(from Rome)
and the clouds wish to stop entertaining the moon
because the prophets foretell of a world with limitless sun
no death. enduring love. joy unbounded
so let history have its way with me
and destiny
let me be handmaid to the choosing of life
an incandescent future for all

(FIAT)


--------------------Luke 1:26-38---------------
And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth, To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary. And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women. And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be. And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God. And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David: And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end. Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man? And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God. And, behold, thy cousin Elisabeth, she hath also conceived a son in her old age: and this is the sixth month with her, who was called barren. For with God nothing shall be impossible. And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.

------Friends and Alibis Lyrics-------
Oh, I hate to be the one to bear the bad news
Yes, it is true
I finally fell in love
I fell so hard that I'm killing myself
Yes, I need out
Out of this grave that I've dug

And all the friends that I have gone through
And how much I deserve the pain
It's a shame

So hold your head
Hold it up high
Here's to the friends that were alibis
Keep this close by your side
When I come home we will have our night

Oh, they always told me I was gorgeous in a way
And that fateful day
I found who I was
So fill this hole with my prescriptions
I just keep feeding my addictions

And all the friends that I have gone through
And how much I deserve the pain
It's a shame

So hold your head
Hold it up high
Here's to the friends that were alibis
Keep this close by your side
When I come home we will have our night
We will have our night

You were the ones that stood by my side, whoa
And I was the one that fought all of your fights
Go!

(Hold your head, hold it up high) Whoa
(Keep this close by your side) Whoa

So hold your head
Hold it high
Here's to the friends that were alibis
Keep this close by your side
When I come home we will have our night

Hold your head
Hold it up high
Here's to the friends that were alibis
Keep this close by your side
When I come home we will have our night

Hold your head
Hold it up high
Here's to the friends that were alibis
Keep this close by your side
When I come home we will have our night
We will have our night

Mary In Better Times

Now yall know I converted to Catholicism right? As a corollary, I got a newfound relationship with my Heavenly Moms, right...wait...isn't she also my patron Saint? Yo, Mary – Mother of God, not Magdalene – what the dealie, homie? Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death! Waz up, Waz up, WAAAAZ UUUUUUPPPP!!! Feel me? So you see, I want to write a poem dedicated to you and the writhing sufferance of the heart you experienced pulling your Son’s Lifeless (Cold), Tattered, Limp Body, a Body once so full of Life, Vitality and Truth, off the cross, assisted by Roman soldiers undoubtedly, and dragging it to Joseph of Arimathea’s tomb. That had to be the most acute pain, Im sure. Hurt you in the worst way! Simeon said a sword would pierce your heart, but he neglected to note this tragedy would impale your heart and make your soul numb… As a Mother, how did you withstand and prevail? I salute you and give you reverence. Pray for me, pray for this poem....Im sure Jesus would honor the prayers of His Dutiful, Tender Mother! HOLLLLAAAAAAAAAA....Lets get em!

The Last Night We Smile

*Dedicated to Escape the Fate, Cellar Door
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdxTA0GHV54
(click that link, son!)

Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother....John 19.25

-------[I KISS YOUR FACE ONE LAST TIME: Dragging Your Cold, Breathless, Battered, Body to Joseph of Arimathea's Tomb; The Thoughts Of Mary After Jesus' Crucifixion]


Youre gone now, the wind
keeps blowing my hair in my mouth
(dress billowing frenetically)
sobbing blurs my vision and my body
is spasmodic, and Im trembling because its freezing
chapped lips, frost-bitten toes from hours of
waiting…wailing, watching the sky turn black
listening to You scream, then stop breathing
and pleading with the sun to return
with warm salutations from my past life and
expectations of a Son holding me in his Strong Arms
during His coronation ceremony...salubrious visions of an angel
choirs of angels singing, three Magi with three gifts
exchanged for embraces
amidst a crackling fire, warm smiles and faint hums of animals
but now Your Eyes are listless, and I can tend to the blood
but I cant remove the scabs
I cant stitch the gashes, I cant mend the holes in your hands
cant stop my heart from throbbing and crying
Your Shoulders feel so cold, your Legs are turning blue
and Youre so heavy now
I cant lift Your Body by myself
You didn't tell Me this would feel so Empty
So wrong
Salvation is meaningless if its implemented without You
I would just as soon bless the fallen, fete the cursed
murder many innocent, rob Caesar, spit in the face of
Pharisees, kiss a leper....worship Poseidon
before the full moon rises above my head
flanked by dark clouds
and the temperatures continue to plunge
wolves howl, watching us with yellow conniving eyes
and we place You in someone else’s Tomb
(YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULD NEVER DIE!)
and I walk home alone
without a Son to comfort me anymore
....[crying].....


I KISS YOUR COLD LIPS ONE LAST TIME


--------------Luke 2:25-35----------
Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord's Christ. Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the custom of the Law required, Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying:
"Sovereign Lord, as you have promised,
you now dismiss your servant in peace.
For my eyes have seen your salvation,
which you have prepared in the sight of all people,
a light for revelation to the Gentiles
and for glory to your people Israel."
The child's father and mother marveled at what was said about him. Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: "This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too."


-------Escape the Fate “Cellar Door” lyrics-----------
We walk through the doorway, heard you calling from the hall
To find you in the bedroom not breathing at all
I drag your body to the cellar where we lay, the wax it melts away,
I kiss your face...

Now we are starting to love you more
Your body's on the canvas I painted on the floor

Now you wait, like the drug, like the change in the pain it goes on for so long
And oh, how it hurts in the worst way, now that you're gone, it's so wrong, it's so wrong....

If I could take you somewhere, I'd take you to the darkest place,
scatter you in art forms, admire the whore
beauty in different ways, your hands on picture frames
your eyes in the glass wear your face as a mask

Now they are starting to love you more
a gallery of your beauty, no charge at the door

As you wait, like the drug, like the change in the pain it goes on for so long
And oh, how it hurts in the worst way, now that you're gone, it's so wrong, it's so wrong....

And down below your veins run dry your vacant eyes
I lost control your face is pale, your body's cold
And down below your veins run dry your vacant eyes
I lost control your face is pale, your body's cold

Wait, like the drug, like the change in the pain it goes on for so long
And oh, how it hurts in the worst way, now that you're gone, it's so wrong, it's so wrong...

Jennifer...I Cant Take In Oxygen Anymore (Without You)

Jennifer, I just cant seem to let you go. You are like an angelic vision enchanting me.....and scaring me; I cant sleep, Im stonewalled and troubled. When I first met you and I dared to fathom a future with us paired together.....doing romantic and mundane things.....HUUUH..HUHHH.....forgive me for my heavy breathing – Im short of breath when I muse on what could have been between us.....I held hands with hope and danced cheek to cheek with fulfillment of my fantasies. Jennifer....now that youre gone.....now that you’ve embraced another man.....I'm lovelorn and throwing pillows at my nightstand, dislodging the lampshade from my lamp....shattering the bulb. HUUUUH....HUUH.....because Im in the dark without you Jennifer, because Im losing my sanity and my grasp on what it means to be happy. Im a sad sack, Im a shell of a man perfunctorily passing through life.... These are my visions, Jennifer.....YOU tell me what they mean. I love you.....even though this love has proven to be ill-fated....HUHHHH.......HUUUUUHHHHH......HUUUUUUUUUH......HUUUUUHHHHHH

Jennifer, My Love For You Is Like Four Beasts!

------[Visions of Love On My Bed (For Jennifer D.)]---


Im restless, Jennifer
and its dark, and I cant see anything
but I can feel four winds stirring my heart
...desire...faith...hope...love
and my heart is like the Great Sea, boundless and immeasurable
Listen to me Jennifer

My yearning for you is a lion with eagles' wings
from the Sea emerging
fierce and yet lofty..soaring above clouds of normal expectations
(because Im not a normal guy)
seeking to devour its prey, hunting
sinking its teeth into marriage with you so elusive
and the chase, this journey is wearisome
plucking feathers with each failed attempt at your love
scarred and shorn but still persisting
cavalierly standing like a man
patiently enduring hardships, waiting for you
to hand your heart to me

But my attraction to you is a bear, ravenous
insatiable and stalwartly raised on its side
poised to strike. the last time I saw you is etched in my dreams
like three ribs in its mouth: your hair, your eyes, your grin
delectable to my mind, intriguing to my senses
and its never enough! I need to see you again
and touch your hand…the voice inside its head roars
visit with Jennifer, taste more sweet experiences
savor memories next to her dancing, arms enfolding her
"arise, devour much flesh"

My respect for you is another beast rising
a leopard with four heads and four wings
ever looking for ways to please
ever watchful, ever nomadic
trolling for an opportunity to exercise dominion
over your enthusiasm for a just suitor
preying
hoping
wanting

But the most august of my feelings
Is dreadful and terrible, exceedingly strong.
It has huge iron teeth; it devours, it breaks in pieces
trampling the residue with its feet
and it has ten horns, (weapons against hate)
with a little horn rising and displacing
the first three with eyes of a man,
and a mouth speaking pompous words
words of defiance
words of aggression, and instigation
and rebellion
this beast is my loyalty to you, most powerful and resistant
to charms
to sensibilities and consensus by those who would tell me
"leave Jennifer alone"
it is disagreeable, insufferable
pugnacious
demolishing all things that stand between us

Im restless, Jennifer
and its dark, and I cant see anything
except these visions
emotions rising from my heart
beasts rising from the Waters
of my passion, my robust love for you



--------------------Daniel 7:1-14---------------
In the first year of Belshazzar king of Babylon, Daniel had a dream and visions of his head while on his bed. Then he wrote down the dream, telling the main facts. Daniel spoke, saying, “I saw in my vision by night, and behold, the four winds of heaven were stirring up the Great Sea. And four great beasts came up from the sea, each different from the other. The first was like a lion, and had eagle's wings. I watched till its wings were plucked off; and it was lifted up from the earth and made to stand on two feet like a man, and a man’s heart was given to it. “And suddenly another beast, a second, like a bear. It was raised up on one side, and had three ribs in its mouth between its teeth. And they said thus to it: ‘Arise, devour much flesh!' After this I looked, and there was another, like a leopard, which had on its back four wings of a bird. The beast also had four heads, and dominion was given to it. "After this I saw in the night visions, and behold, a fourth beast, dreadful and terrible, exceedingly strong. It had huge iron teeth; it was devouring, breaking in pieces, and trampling the residue with its feet. It was different from all the beasts that were before it, and it had ten horns. I was considering the horns, and there was another horn, a little one, coming up among them, before whom three of the first horns were plucked out by the roots. And there, in this horn, were eyes like the eyes of a man, and a mouth speaking pompous words.
" I watched till thrones were put in place,
And the Ancient of Days was seated;
His garment was white as snow,
And the hair of His head was like pure wool.
His throne was a fiery flame,
Its wheels a burning fire;
A fiery stream issued
And came forth from before Him.
A thousand thousands ministered to Him;
Ten thousand times ten thousand stood before Him.
The court was seated,
And the books were opened.
"I watched then because of the sound of the pompous words which the horn was speaking; I watched till the beast was slain, and its body destroyed and given to the burning flame. As for the rest of the beasts, they had their dominion taken away, yet their lives were prolonged for a season and a time.
" I was watching in the night visions,
And behold, One like the Son of Man,
Coming with the clouds of heaven!
He came to the Ancient of Days,
And they brought Him near before Him.
Then to Him was given dominion and glory and a kingdom,
That all peoples, nations, and languages should serve Him.
His dominion is an everlasting dominion,
Which shall not pass away,
And His kingdom the one
Which shall not be destroyed.

I want the heart of a woman....(please God)

I have always wanted love so bad (hey, just having finished watching the 12:01 showing of Twilight: New Moon doesnt hurt either!!!!)

I want to fall in love and get married like a flower waits for the sun to rise...for sustenance, just to survive.

I often try to downplay such emotions in an attempt to avoid slighting my masculinity...but I think one of the greater gifts of getting older is that you stop caring as much what people think of you.

So yeah, if you wonder why I always write about love and women and falling in love...well, there you have it!

Jesus' contemporaries hated him, and he did nothing wrong; so go figure if someone hates you just for having a personality...whether you are mean or not.

Anyway, what Im trying to say is I may as well use the heart God has given me for some good, right?


If I think like a woman, why not write like a woman - FOR THE GLORY OF GOD?

Nah mean? So like, so like, so like I can be the bride....and Jesus can be the Bridgegroom right?

Oh wait, didnt he already call himself that in the Bible? (Matthew 9:15)

So yeah, Im gonna go 'head and pretend Im a bride on this one! Like it or not!
(Cuz whether we like it or not, our Maker is our husband, yall!)

Letters to My Husband *

"Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine" Song of Songs 1:2


------------------------[Love Letter to My Husband, dated November 20, 2009 2:45AM]



You forced one eminent mandate on me
to love you with all of my heart
…with all of my being
….with all of my soul…
and in return your love
would rescue me from my bondage, my slavery like loneliness
in a foreign land, in spectacular fashion
parting the Red Sea of impossibility,
(like a God paired with a feeble people)
redeeming me in my frailty
you said your love was like milk, and sweet honey
though my doubts were imposing like the Canaanites
you saved me
and gave me a chance to live

Admittedly
each stage of my life is like an epoch full of drama
but your steady words, soft, and kind
are like prophets and kings to guide me
especially in the hard times
when my heart is taken into captivity by
depression and remorse
and fragmented

You said you would die for me
If that meant we could get married
living hand in hand, side by side forever
in one of your many lavish mansions
to prove your love you even let cruel men flagellate you
and large crowds mock you
for firmly clinging to an unwavering belief
that I would love you in return

and your sweet whispers in my ear at night
feels like washing
feels like purification
from a world that makes me feel so dirty
trust me when I tell you
You are my Savior....and you are.....
my love

[Im happy to be your bride]
(Jesus)

-----------------
Ephesians 5:25-27
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

Isaiah 54:5
the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.

Barbara Bush, I Would Till The Ground For You (And Make an Offering) Will You Accept?

----------------[Barbara Bush, Please Accept My Love Offering (At The Altar Of Your Heart)


Barbara, loving you is like
tilling the ground and harvesting fruit
it is like two parents conflicted
unraveling interiorly yet pressing onward despite
consolations to their own bodies that death
wont be as traumatic as it figures in their dreams
because though it is the fruit borne of countless hours of sweat
and toil, it never seems good enough
(for you)

Other men (of wealth and prestige) offer you
the firstlings of their flock....and the fat thereof
[though tending sheep is less intensive than growing produce]
[and money breeds arrogance and pretensions]
and it is charming in your sight
savory, full of sweet aroma
and your heart sinks
so you forget about me
and my manifest insecurities about us falling in love
and being together forever

And without you I am wroth
and my countenance has fallen
the sin of bitter tears and fearful destiny
(being alone)
coucheth at the door of my heart
and it feels like vengeance rising from one disenfranchised
fighting flesh and phantoms, inherited curses just to be heard
refuting serpents of doubt and forfeiture...damning me
I want to rise up and slay these doleful misconceptions
to prove to you my love is real
(that I don't have to be in politics to be your man)
let other men's lament of rejection cry out from the ground to you
not mine

(not anymore)



BARBARA BUSH YOU ARE SO FINE! I GOT MAD PROPS FOR W...DO YOU GOT MAD PROPS FOR ME? IF I RAN A CAMPAIGN FOR YOUR HEART...WOULD I GET YOUR VOTE? (SNOOKUMS????)



St. Augustine "Augustine: on the Two Cities"
-------------------------------/
Of these two first parents of the human race, then, Cain was the first-born, and he belonged to the city of men; after him was born Abel, who belonged to the city of God. For as in the individual the truth of the apostle's statement is discerned, "that is not first which is spiritual, but that which is natural, and afterward that which is spiritual,"whence it comes to pass that each man, being derived from a condemned stock, is first of all born of Adam evil and carnal, and becomes good and spiritual only afterwards, when he is grafted into Christ by regeneration: so was it in the human race as a whole. When these two cities began to run their course by a series of deaths and births, the citizen of this world was the first-born, and after him the stranger in this world, the citizen of the city of God, predestinated by grace, elected by grace, by grace a stranger below, and by grace a citizen above. By grace,--for so far as regards himself he is sprung from the same mass, all of which is condemned in its origin: but God,
like a potter (for this comparison is introduced by the apostle judiciously, and not without thought), of the same lump made one vessel to honor, another to dishonor.
-------------------
Genesis 4:1-10
------------------------
And the man knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man with the help of Jehovah. And again she bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground. And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto Jehovah. And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And Jehovah had respect unto Abel and to his offering: but unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell. And Jehovah said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen? If thou doest well, shall it not be lifted up? and if thou doest not well, sin coucheth at the door: and unto thee shall be its desire, but do thou rule over it. And Cain told Abel his brother. And it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him. And Jehovah said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: am I my brother's keeper? And he said, What hast thou done? the voice of thy brother's blood crieth unto me from the ground.

Gina Carano, I Sleep...But My Heart is Awake For You

*dedicated to Kill Hannah, "Last Night Here"

I slept but my heart was awake.
Listen! My lover is knocking:


*heavy breathing*
(huuuuh...huuuuh....huuuuh)
(huuuuh....huuuuh....huuuuh)

---------------------[Gina Carano, I Will Scour the City of My Heart Looking For You]


Gina where are you?
Don’t ever leave me
I need you
I may sleep but fascination with you abides
my preoccupation with hopefulness, my defiant
optimism, my savage desire, my enduring admiration
my chronic dependence
on us

Stirs up restlessness within
I toss and I turn, reaching out
only to grasp vacancy on the left side of my bed
only to wipe tears of anguish from my eyes
I sit on the edge of the bed
waiting for you to reach your hand
through the latch-opening of my jubilant expectations
and come and love me

my heart pounds for you

you are the most wonderful woman I have ever known
your beauty and personality are an addiction
worth running out in the streets for
berserk with longing
not mindful of the dissidents (watchmen of the city)
intent on quelling this passion I hold dear to my bosom
for us
so they can beat me, bruise me and take away my
cloak (reason)
but I will still voice shrill screams
if anyone asks, tell Gina Carano
"I am faint with love"

*heavy breathing*
(huuuuh...huuuuh...huuuuh)
(huuuuh....huuuuh....huuuuh)



----[Song of Solomon 5:2-8]-------
I slept but my heart was awake.
Listen! My lover is knocking:
"Open to me, my sister, my darling,
my dove, my flawless one.
My head is drenched with dew,
my hair with the dampness of the night."
I have taken off my robe—
must I put it on again?
I have washed my feet—
must I soil them again?
My lover thrust his hand through the latch-opening;
my heart began to pound for him.
I arose to open for my lover,
and my hands dripped with myrrh,
my fingers with flowing myrrh,
on the handles of the lock.
I opened for my lover,
but my lover had left; he was gone.
My heart sank at his departure
I looked for him but did not find him.
I called him but he did not answer.
The watchmen found me
as they made their rounds in the city.
They beat me, they bruised me;
they took away my cloak,
those watchmen of the walls!
O daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you—
if you find my lover,
what will you tell him?
Tell him I am faint with love.


--------------Kill Hannah, Last Night Here – Lyrics------------

This is our last night here
The air is cold as ice
All the trees that lost their leaves
Are reflected in our eyes
This is our last night here
Or so it seems
Silence like the darkest waters in a submarine...

This is our last night here
On planet Earth
And I don't want my heart
'Cause it always hurts
If this is our last night here
I won't kick and scream
I'll just grab onto you
And I don't want to breathe...

If this is our last night here for long
I'm gonna put this record on
I'm gonna burn this city down
And we'll watch the glow until it's gone
But before I go insane
There's something else to say
You thought you were alone
But I was with you all the way...

With you all the way
With you all the way...

If this is our last night here
On planet Earth
Then I'll give you my heart
'Cause it always hurts
If this is our last night here
I won't change a thing
I'll just grab onto you
And I'll feel you breathe...

If this is our last night here...
If this is our last night here...
If this is our last night here
I'll grab onto you
Just to feel you breathe...

Breathe...
Breathe...
Breathe...
Breathe...
Breathe...
Breathe...
Breathe...
Breathe...

Goats Goats and More Goats, Yall!

[The Incarnation is a splendid mystery to me in that Jesus simultaneously fills three roles as our Messiah…He is the High Priest, and Two Sacrificial Goats: The Goat Sacrificed to God and the Scapegoat. He is both the Offering and the Offeror, satisfying our debt of sin in His own body to His Father. Only He is uniquely qualified to do this - to blatantly confound human wisdom (on our behalf) yet remain perfectly sensible and reasonable to God. He was a living contradiction, a human wonderment both fully God and fully man…being and becoming yet transcending and remaining the same. He has made me a man who lovingly stares at Goats*]

I Am The man who (lovingly) stares at Goats

"Surely he hath borne our Griefs and carried our Sorrows; Yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of GOD and afflicted." (Isaiah 53:4) and "And the Goat shall bear upon him all their iniquities unto a Land not inhabited." (Leviticus 16:22)---------------------------------[Thrown In the Desert and Left For Dead; Parting Thoughts From a Scapegoat]

I was grazing
I was in my herd, when I heard thundering footsteps of men hurried
crimson veins extending from their pupils
nefarious expressions like a mask
shortened gasping breaths disguising men I once knew
as amicable neighbors
utterly uninvolved in my fate...
insouciant bystanders, indifferent denizens
transformed into monsters less rational
than myself. but these are hard times
and they snatched my brother and I away together
(and introduced us to a man in fanciful vestments)
I heard the screams of a harried bull
smelled the stench of blood before
lots fell near my feet and my brother hastily
tearfully...
met the same fate
his wailing encompassed by a cloud of incense smoke
seeping from behind a massive curtain
impaling my heavy heart now conflating fond memories
and shattered dreams
while the man lays two hands on my disconsolate head
recalling vile things, all things wicked all things horrific
apportioning the guilt and sole blame of a nation
on my weary soul
I am numb and troubled and barely able to stand (and thirsty)
as I am lead out into hot sands,
a barren desert - left alone
repudiated
forsaken



(an innocent left for dead)



---------------------------------------/
Leviticus 16
-The Day of Atonement -
The LORD spoke to Moses after the death of the two sons of Aaron who died when they approached the LORD. The LORD said to Moses: "Tell your brother Aaron not to come whenever he chooses into the Most Holy Place behind the curtain in front of the atonement cover on the ark, or else he will die, because I appear in the cloud over the atonement cover. "This is how Aaron is to enter the sanctuary area: with a young bull for a sin offering and a ram for a burnt offering. He is to put on the sacred linen tunic, with linen undergarments next to his body; he is to tie the linen sash around him and put on the linen turban. These are sacred garments; so he must bathe himself with water before he puts them on. From the Israelite community he is to take two male goats for a sin offering and a ram for a burnt offering. "Aaron is to offer the bull for his own sin offering to make atonement for himself and his household. Then he is to take the two goats and present them before the LORD at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting. He is to cast lots for the two goats—one lot for the LORD and the other for the scapegoat. Aaron shall bring the goat whose lot falls to the LORD and sacrifice it for a sin offering. But the goat chosen by lot as the scapegoat shall be presented alive before the LORD to be used for making atonement by sending it into the desert as a scapegoat. "Aaron shall bring the bull for his own sin offering to make atonement for himself and his household, and he is to slaughter the bull for his own sin offering. He is to take a censer full of burning coals from the altar before the LORD and two handfuls of finely ground fragrant incense and take them behind the curtain. He is to put the incense on the fire before the LORD, and the smoke of the incense will conceal the atonement cover above the Testimony, so that he will not die. He is to take some of the bull's blood and with his finger sprinkle it on the front of the atonement cover; then he shall sprinkle some of it with his finger seven times before the atonement cover. "He shall then slaughter the goat for the sin offering for the people and take its blood behind the curtain and do with it as he did with the bull's blood: He shall sprinkle it on the atonement cover and in front of it. In this way he will make atonement for the Most Holy Place because of the uncleanness and rebellion of the Israelites, whatever their sins have been. He is to do the same for the Tent of Meeting, which is among them in the midst of their uncleanness. No one is to be in the Tent of Meeting from the time Aaron goes in to make atonement in the Most Holy Place until he comes out, having made atonement for himself, his household and the whole community of Israel. "Then he shall come out to the altar that is before the LORD and make atonement for it. He shall take some of the bull's blood and some of the goat's blood and put it on all the horns of the altar. He shall sprinkle some of the blood on it with his finger seven times to cleanse it and to consecrate it from the uncleanness of the Israelites. "When Aaron has finished making atonement for the Most Holy Place, the Tent of Meeting and the altar, he shall bring forward the live goat. He is to lay both hands on the head of the live goat and confess over it all the wickedness and rebellion of the Israelites—all their sins—and put them on the goat's head. He shall send the goat away into the desert in the care of a man appointed for the task. The goat will carry on itself all their sins to a solitary place; and the man shall release it in the desert. "Then Aaron is to go into the Tent of Meeting and take off the linen garments he put on before he entered the Most Holy Place, and he is to leave them there. He shall bathe himself with water in a holy place and put on his regular garments. Then he shall come out and sacrifice the burnt offering for himself and the burnt offering for the people, to make atonement for himself and for the people. He shall also burn the fat of the sin offering on the altar. "The man who releases the goat as a scapegoat must wash his clothes and bathe himself with water; afterward he may come into the camp. The bull and the goat for the sin offerings, whose blood was brought into the Most Holy Place to make atonement, must be taken outside the camp; their hides, flesh and offal are to be burned up. The man who burns them must wash his clothes and bathe himself with water; afterward he may come into the camp. "This is to be a lasting ordinance for you: On the tenth day of the seventh month you must deny yourselves and not do any work—whether native-born or an alien living among you- because on this day atonement will be made for you, to cleanse you. Then, before the LORD, you will be clean from all your sins. It is a sabbath of rest, and you must deny yourselves; it is a lasting ordinance. The priest who is anointed and ordained to succeed his father as high priest is to make atonement. He is to put on the sacred linen garments and make atonement for the Most Holy Place, for the Tent of Meeting and the altar, and for the priests and all the people of the community. "This is to be a lasting ordinance for you: Atonement is to be made once a year for all the sins of the Israelites." And it was done, as the LORD commanded Moses.

-----Hebrews 5:4-6------
No one takes this honor upon himself; he must be called by God, just as Aaron was. So Christ also did not take upon himself the glory of becoming a high priest. But God said to him,
"You are my Son;
today I have become your Father."And he says in another place,
"You are a priest forever,
in the order of Melchizedek."

This Isnt What Life Was Supposed to Become

--------------[The Internal Deliberations of Jesus on Gethsemane (Reprised)]


I feel flaccid
and I don’t want to be here
not anymore
Im at my wits end and tempted to regress
for just a moment’s respite, solace from the scorn of anxiety
and pretentious Pharisaic rumblings
I want to go back to the carpentry shop with dad again
(if possible)
and (seemingly) endless drifting
from sea to town and back to synagogue
with my cousins
and Mother
watching John baptize with anonymity
ribbing him for his attire
and admiring the pulchritude of the women around me
ginning up fantasies of family life
in small towns
musing on the serenity of normalcy
even while having full knowledge such a thing never existed
...at least not under these harrowing circumstances
but now my life flashes before my eyes
and blood pours from my forehead and cheeks
death was a consequence not a thing proposed
I never intended to meet the angel
with his sword drawn in the form of rotting wood and rusty nails
administered by sneering gentiles wreaking of incivility
life was never meant to be lived like this
we were supposed to be in a lush Garden
eating fruit
not murdering men meant to live forever


(God take this cup from me... please? Yet not my will but Yours be done)


----------------[ Luke 22:39-46]
Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. On reaching the place, he said to them, "Pray that you will not fall into temptation." He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. When he rose from prayer and went back to the disciples, he found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow. "Why are you sleeping?" he asked them. "Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation."

A Garrulous Transfiguration

Lord, it is good for us to be here. If you wish, I will put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah
--------------------[Garrulous; The Thoughts of Peter Hunched Over On the Mount of Transfiguration]




Its easy for you
when dogged by life’s persistent squabbles
you simply climb a mountain
levitate, and luminesce
with the consolation of the law and the prophets…
(Moses and Elijah)
when I gaze at you I have to cower, shielding my eyes
your eyes so radiant
and clouds cloak the mountain
and muffle the thunderous baritone rumblings of God's voice
assuring you that your sanity remains
(I have no such private voice at my disposal)
though my sense of reality fritters away with each miracle
each man healed...or raised from the dead
or confrontation with the religious savants
everyone used to revere
and maybe Im starting to think...this is more than we all bargained
and maybe your mother and brothers thought so
or maybe they just wanted to say whats up
but I cant sleep at night anymore
and I don’t want you to die, and leave me behind to
sift and winnow through this preponderance of preternatural
phenomena
Im scared
and I want to erect three tents
ushering you all inside
so I can just run back down the mountain
and go back to my fishing boat
to make sense of it all




-----------------Matthew 17:1-9
After six days Jesus took with him Peter, James and John the brother of James, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. There he was transfigured before them. His face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as the light. Just then there appeared before them Moses and Elijah, talking with Jesus. Peter said to Jesus, "Lord, it is good for us to be here. If you wish, I will put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah." While he was still speaking, a bright cloud enveloped them, and a voice from the cloud said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!" When the disciples heard this, they fell facedown to the ground, terrified. But Jesus came and touched them. "Get up," he said. "Don't be afraid." When they looked up, they saw no one except Jesus. As they were coming down the mountain, Jesus instructed them, "Don't tell anyone what you have seen, until the Son of Man has been raised from the dead."

Taylor Swift, To Whom Shall I Go???

*Dedicated to Dashboard Confessional, "Remember to Breathe"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uL6n9TIA9k&feature=youtube_gdata

-------Taylor Lautner Who?!------[Taylor Swift, Your Words Are Eternal (To Me)]



Taylor, when I look at your picture
it forces me to close my eyes
...we are facing each other...standing in the center
of golden wheat fields (at high noon)
...steady winds
your hair (identical, a wheat hue) and white sundress are billowing in unison
as is my t-shirt

The sun peers betwixt two white clouds
asI reach for your cheek
before I come to

But these are just fantasies, and you
just a dream. But you see,
life has become so incorrigible without you;
so my vivid imagination is just the corollary
I was like a fisherman hauling in meager fish without you
I was like a tax collector oppressing
I was sitting under a tree, just pensive
before I saw you
love just called out "come, follow me"
and everything changed

Now, when I hear your beautiful voice
Inspiration wells up in my soul
…and I am healed
I can do anything, I can feed five thousand men
with only meager portions of fish and bread
I can hold my chest at night and feel my heart beating for you
so anxiously

Taylor, baby, I can never die
not as long as I can put in your CD
and muse
because you have the worlds of eternal life





"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." Matthew 4:19

--------
John 6:66-68
From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.
"You do not want to leave too, do you?" Jesus asked the Twelve.
Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.
We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God."
----------------------------------

[Remember to Breathe Lyrics]
She fixes her lips,
They always look perfect.
Never a smudge line,
never too much.

I try on my blue shirt,
she told me she liked it...once.
She wonders what I'll wear.
She knows just what she'll wear.
She always wears blue.

So sneakers or flip-flops?
I'm starting to panic, (wait wait)
Remember she asked you,
remember to breathe.
And everything will be okay.

Okay
Okay
Alright
Alright
Alright
Alright
Alright...
(whisper)Okay.

I Am Just Dirty Water Without Sarah Palin

Me and Sarah Palin: Going RO-mantic!

----------------------------[Life Stinks Without You, Sarah Palin; You are My Elisha]


Sarah,
Tony Conti is a foul smelling stench discharged
from vital springs (hope)
in an otherwise well situated Jericho (my heart)
but the citizens therein fancy nihilism and migrating to Bethel
because there is nothing to drink
and the livestock are gaunt
and there is no more romance, nothing to uplift
nothing to recalibrate their minds focused on impending death
and my heart is empty without you

But you are sooooo amazing, baby
you are my prophet with a double portion, and I need you so bad
you came from the Jordan with a (fashionable!) cloak of optimism
and promise
with intentions on fulfilling the Lord’s work (loving me in return)
all I need is a bowl of your compassion
filled with salt of our first kiss, our first dance, first night on the town
poured liberally, giving me hope
so I can swoon before you humbly as you proclaim:
"I have healed this water"

With you by my side my joy will never be unproductive
I will never stink
together we can accomplish anything together
as Jericho flourishes around us, full of vitality
don’t ever leave me, Sarah. I swear I would die without you
country first
love first


(Make me your first dude!)

-------------------------
2 Kings 2:19-21
The men of the city said to Elisha, "Look, our lord, this town is well situated, as you can see, but the water is bad and the land is unproductive." "Bring me a new bowl," he said, "and put salt in it." So they brought it to him. Then he went out to the spring and threw the salt into it, saying, "This is what the LORD says: 'I have healed this water. Never again will it cause death or make the land unproductive.' " And the water has remained wholesome to this day, according to the word Elisha had spoken.

The Good Sabbath

----------------[Reaching for a Revolution /Jesus' Thoughts As He Healed The Man With A Withered Hand]




The world is filled with men of hard hearts
and those who have unfortunate hearts, mired in sorrow
and it troubles you
and sometimes you wake up in the morning and just stand under the sun
trying to garner enough strength to withstand
hoping your emotions will be robust
and you can manage keeping your composure while looking
into another mother’s eyes who just lost her son
or a father coping with his son’s demon possession he abates
by deluding himself into believing
there are no demons: its merely bouts of delirium
tossing him into fire and water
while hideous men disguised in Rabbi’s clothing sneer
and blame
and remain indifferent when Moses told them to offer solace
and their hypocrisy is like a fire of vengeance burning your soul
you cant sit still unless you hear their screams in hell
weeping and gnashing their teeth
but ultimately all these things keep you up at night worried
perplexed because the world you came to save finds authentic love
incomprehensible
and it kills me
and I wish I could make it stop
and cure all the worlds ills
with a mere phrase or platitude that instantaneously
eradicated all insecurity, envy and doubt
I wish I could say Its going to be okay,
trust me
reach out your hand and let me help you


(together we can make this work)

----------------Luke 6:6-11
And it came to pass also on another sabbath, that he entered into the synagogue and taught: and there was a man whose right hand was withered. And the scribes and Pharisees watched him, whether he would heal on the sabbath day; that they might find an accusation against him. But he knew their thoughts, and said to the man which had the withered hand, Rise up, and stand forth in the midst. And he arose and stood forth. Then said Jesus unto them, I will ask you one thing; Is it lawful on the sabbath days to do good, or to do evil? to save life, or to destroy it? And looking round about upon them all, he said unto the man, Stretch forth thy hand. And he did so: and his hand was restored whole as the other. And they were filled with madness; and communed one with another what they might do to Jesus.

Putrid

---------------------[The Stove/ The Thoughts Of Ezekiel As He Baked the Barley Cakes]


Back in Jerusalem they used to tell me stories
(merrily)
of David dancing
[*Ezekiel throws another piece of wood under the stove*]
and how ignoble and irascible the Philistines were
...until the thunderous collapse of Goliath
of Samuel and Saul's shared contempt; and David's perfunctory evasion
of the spear thrown at his head
musing on Solomon and his bevy of women
their tacky idols in our pristine temple
but now
there is no more dancing, or jest or de facto historian
Babylon has come, and soon will return
some people grieve, most are inexorable
their sins persist oblivious that the moon
scowls at us at night, turns red
and that behind the tabernacle God surreptitiously sneaks away
the overbearing sun mocks us and that birds fly by
too ashamed to perch nearby
wolves encompass us, stayed only by our captor’s spears
for this I weep routinely
Intermingling my tears with
wheat, and barley,
and beans, and lentiles,
and millet...
as the wind carries the rising smoke towards Jerusalem
we barely have enough to eat here...
but I toss cow's dung upon cow's dung with my cake
to underscore my bitter disgust
at my people/ at my fate
(as the pungent smell continually stings my eyes)



----------------------------
Ezekiel 4:9-17
Take thou also unto thee wheat, and barley, and beans, and lentiles, and millet, and fitches, and put them in one vessel, and make thee bread thereof, according to the number of the days that thou shalt lie upon thy side, three hundred and ninety days shalt thou eat thereof. And thy meat which thou shalt eat shall be by weight, twenty shekels a day: from time to time shalt thou eat it. Thou shalt drink also water by measure, the sixth part of an hin: from time to time shalt thou drink. And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight. And the LORD said, Even thus shall the children of Israel eat their defiled bread among the Gentiles, whither I will drive them. Then said I, Ah Lord GOD! behold, my soul hath not been polluted: for from my youth up even till now have I not eaten of that which dieth of itself, or is torn in pieces; neither came there abominable flesh into my mouth. Then he said unto me, Lo, I have given thee cow's dung for man's dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread therewith. Moreover he said unto me, Son of man, behold, I will break the staff of bread in Jerusalem: and they shall eat bread by weight, and with care; and they shall drink water by measure, and with astonishment: That they may want bread and water, and be astonied one with another, and consume away for their iniquity.

A Lachrymose Paradise Lost

* Dedicated to Sarah McLachlan, "Adia"

--------------------------------[A Lachrymose Paradise Lost/ Adam’s Dying Words to Eve]


Before you came, the ground was good
grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind
and trees yielding fruit, their seeds within
nameless animals: identities and personalities yet to be formed
this was all of creation; yet
my heart beating with angst inside of me
(days and nights pensive. Reaching for the moon, during the day
stolidly dipping my hand in the Pison river as little fish
swam in between my fingers)
unable to sleep, restless yet exceedingly weary
picking flowers and laying them on my chest hoping my melancholy
would end soon

When I awoke,
I was still dazed after God brought you to me
In an instant a new destiny stood before me,
and erased previous pained memories without you
and I stood erect for the first time, and for the first time
a full smile (from ear to ear)

You were my poison
even before the fruit we partook
because deep within I started dying when I first held your hand
I lost my equanimity
I lost my will to continue the existence bestowed on me
except you stand by my side
I was oblivious to the snake’s lies because
portentous truisms invaded my mind such as no animal
no plant can survive after losing the will to live alone
my love for you was not self sustaining
not strong enough

You died when you bit the fruit
out of curiousity. so I bit the fruit
because I cant fathom you not near me
even in the grave

Eve, mother of all living
my wife, my only love
I just want you to know why I bit the fruit too...
and Im sorry for blaming you;
I am the one to blame
(not the serpent’s craft)
I was content to lose Eden
because at some point I realized you were my Paradise
even if I lost everything else




Genesis 3
Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.' " "You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman. "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?" He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid." And he said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?" The man said, "The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it." Then the LORD God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?"
The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."
So the LORD God said to the serpent, "Because you have done this,
"Cursed are you above all the livestock
and all the wild animals!
You will crawl on your belly
and you will eat dust
all the days of your life.
And I will put enmity
between you and the woman,
and between your offspring [a] and hers;
he will crush [b] your head,
and you will strike his heel."
To the woman he said,
"I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing;
with pain you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband,
and he will rule over you."
To Adam he said, "Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I
commanded you, 'You must not eat of it,'
"Cursed is the ground because of you;
through painful toil you will eat of it
all the days of your life.
It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
and you will eat the plants of the field.
By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will return."
Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living.
The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them. And the LORD God said, "The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever." So the LORD God banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken. After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life.



Sarah McLachlan "Adia" Lyrics

Adia I do believe I failed you
Adia I know I'vd let you down
don't you know I tried so hard
to love you in my way
it's easy let it go...

Adia I'm empty since you left me
trying to find a way to carry on
I search myself and everyone
to see where we went wrong

there's no one left to finger
there's no one here to blame
there's no one left to talk to, honey
and there ain't no one to buy our innocence
'cause we are born innocent
believe me Adia, we are still innocent
it's easy, we all FALTER
but does it matter?

Adia I thought that we could make it
I know I can't change the way you feel
I leave you with your misery
a friend who won't betray
pull you from your tower
take away your pain
show you all the beauty you possess
if you'd only let yourself believe that
we are born innocent
believe me Adia, we are still innocent
it's easy, we all FALTER,
but does it matter?

Ba ba ba ba bada ba da ba da ba...

'cause we are born innocent
believe me Adia
we are still innocent
it's easy, we all FALTER,
but does it matter?

believe me Adia
we are still innocent
'cause we are born innocent
Believe me Adia
we are still
it's easy, we all FALTER,
but does it matter?

Sarah McLachlan Tribute

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhPKUIKvP8A


Before you read my next poem, (Dont worry Calista, I havent forgotten about you!) I gotta give it up to Sarah McLachlan, one of my greatest inspirations in writing. I love this song...it helped me write the words of the forthcoming poem you see below. Click the link above to hear the song.


She has a great voice and is a great lyricist, ya heard? One of the most insightful, contemplative and creative artists ever!



Sarah McLachlan "Lost"


By the shadows of the night I go
I moved away from the crowded room
That sea of shallow faces masked in warm regret
They don't know how to feel, they don't know what is lost

Lost in the darkness of a land
Where all the hope that's offered is
Memories of being taken by the hand
And we are led into the sun
But I don't have a hold on what is real
Though we can only try
What is there to give or to believe

I want it all to go away I want to be alone
Sympathy's wasted on my hollow shell
I feel there's nothing left to fight for
No reason for a cause
And I can't hear your voice and I can't feel you near

Lost in the darkness of a land
Where all the hope that's offered is
Memories of being taken by the hand
And we are led into the sun
But I don't have a hold on what is real
Though we can only try
What is there to give or to believe

I wanted a change knowing all I could do was try
I was looking for someone...

Babylon Is Lost Without You, Calista

* Dedicated to Sarah McLachlan, "Lost"

A stone was brought and placed over the mouth of the den, and the king sealed it with his own signet ring and with the rings of his nobles, so that Daniel's situation might not be changed. Then the king returned to his palace and spent the night without eating and without any entertainment being brought to him. And he could not sleep. [Daniel 6:17-18]
-----[Calista Flockhart, Babylon Isnt the Same Without You Near/ King Darius' Nightmares]


Calista,
Life is vapid without you
the pillows hard, the covers knotty
the air fusy
and I cant find rest or bring myself to snuff out my candle
until I see your face again

You are my heart's administrator
magnate of the 120 reasons I fell for you
(I have yet to rise)
and I was wrong, I was myopic to force you to bow down
to my idea of a perfect union of our lives
you are a strong, independent woman
with her own God (preferences) honored 3 times each day
and I shouldn't have tried to prevent you
from your desire
from what brings you joy...and gives you an identity.
my selfishness has issued an edict I so dearly wish
I could retract
(please believe me)

I have thrown you to the lions
their teeth are the dissolution of our love
long tails with fuzzy tips, the bittersweet memories
of a life lived with you beside me prematurely snatched away
their dark piercing eyes are the grim prophecies of the future
I fear to look into if I cant hold you at night
their growlings ARE MY FRANTIC SCREAMS SOAKED IN SWEAT because
if you leave I will be inconsolable
and all I can imagine is your blood dripping from their mouths

Calista, please, if you'd just forgive me
at the first light of dawn I'll come running back to you
and pull you out of my mess personally
pull you back into my arms



(PLEASE, JUST COME BACK TO ME BABY...I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. Babylon Is Lost Without You Near)




Daniel 6
It pleased Darius to appoint 120 satraps to rule throughout the kingdom, with three administrators over them, one of whom was Daniel. The satraps were made accountable to them so that the king might not suffer loss. Now Daniel so distinguished himself among the administrators and the satraps by his exceptional qualities that the king planned to set him over the whole kingdom. At this, the administrators and the satraps tried to find grounds for charges against Daniel in his conduct of government affairs, but they were unable to do so. They could find no corruption in him, because he was trustworthy and neither corrupt nor negligent. Finally these men said, "We will never find any basis for charges against this man Daniel unless it has something to do with the law of his God." So the administrators and the satraps went as a group to the king and said: "O King Darius, live forever! The royal administrators, prefects, satraps, advisers and governors have all agreed that the king should issue an edict and enforce the decree that anyone who prays to any god or man during the next thirty days, except to you, O king, shall be thrown into the lions' den. Now, O king, issue the decree and put it in writing so that it cannot be altered—in accordance with the laws of the Medes and Persians, which cannot be repealed." So King Darius put the decree in writing. Now when Daniel learned that the decree had been published, he went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before. Then these men went as a group and found Daniel praying and asking God for help. So they went to the king and spoke to him about his royal decree: "Did you not publish a decree that during the next thirty days anyone who prays to any god or man except to you, O king, would be thrown into the lions' den?" The king answered, "The decree stands—in accordance with the laws of the Medes and Persians, which cannot be repealed." Then they said to the king, "Daniel, who is one of the exiles from Judah, pays no attention to you, O king, or to the decree you put in writing. He still prays three times a day." When the king heard this, he was greatly distressed; he was determined to rescue Daniel and made every effort until sundown to save him. Then the men went as a group to the king and said to him, "Remember, O king, that according to the law of the Medes and Persians no decree or edict that the king issues can be changed." So the king gave the order, and they brought Daniel and threw him into the lions' den. The king said to Daniel, "May your God, whom you serve continually, rescue you!" A stone was brought and placed over the mouth of the den, and the king sealed it with his own signet ring and with the rings of his nobles, so that Daniel's situation might not be changed. Then the king returned to his palace and spent the night without eating and without any entertainment being brought to him. And he could not sleep. At the first light of dawn, the king got up and hurried to the lions' den. When he came near the den, he called to Daniel in an anguished voice, "Daniel, servant of the living God, has your God, whom you serve continually, been able to rescue you from the lions?" Daniel answered, "O king, live forever! My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight. Nor have I ever done any wrong before you, O king." The king was overjoyed and gave orders to lift Daniel out of the den. And when Daniel was lifted from the den, no wound was found on him, because he had trusted in his God. At the king's command, the men who had falsely accused Daniel were brought in and thrown into the lions' den, along with their wives and children. And before they reached the floor of the den, the lions overpowered them and crushed all their bones. Then King Darius wrote to all the peoples, nations and men of every language throughout the land:
"May you prosper greatly!
"I issue a decree that in every part of my kingdom people must fear and
reverence the God of Daniel.
"For he is the living God
and he endures forever;
his kingdom will not be destroyed,
his dominion will never end.
He rescues and he saves;
he performs signs and wonders
in the heavens and on the earth.
He has rescued Daniel
from the power of the lions."
So Daniel prospered during the reign of Darius and the reign of Cyrus the Persian.