Sanctimonious Sepulcher for the Skeptic

---------------------/(Field of Blood) Sanctimonious Sepulcher for the Skeptic - Judas' Last Words.

The (winter) wind
blows memories in my face, more morose than merry
more maddening and malefic than mellifluous
moribund
cold cruel chill chasing me crucible of criticism causing chattering clanking
teeth arms clinching a conniving chest cantankerously convincing me:
a cursed, crass man to
cede control
fretful fingers fixating on and feeling this fussy fatal tree
gently coaxing me to come close and canvass it caress it
for comfort
then abrasively hurling epithets abominable things acrid, atrocious things
barbaric belligerent bark bellowing
"climb to the top"
"hurl yourself down halt this haranguing and harassment"
hallowed habitat a place to harbor the hassled
and now everything is hazy, hedging my bets on healing
from this haunting world, no longer hunted
where the hawks wont circle above me anymore
help
thirty pieces of silver
a noble intention to affect the Savior, the champion of the Jews
honor the kingship of David, wrathful warrior king waylaying wickedness
constrain him with torches, swords, and rueful rhetoric
from feeble men
so he would assuredly obliterate outlaw offend
the onerous
Pharisees and Sadducees he so loathed
and I was to be the catalyst for change no charlatan
no clumsy crazy accessory to murder publicly caricatured...
I hated his lack of haste, his unwarranted sense of always being
unburdened.
the people want freedom from unmitigated oppression from these damned
Romans. To hell with these exorbitant taxes....now...not in some distant
metaphysical future
but now the sun is the moon and the day night
greetings from children on the street, howls like the sound of wolves
Jesus is dead, and the earth shakes, the earth wont stop shaking
the earth wont stop shaking
and Ive never felt so lonely so guilty
this is the curse of Cain with no mark, exacerbating all my insecurities
I am the lust of every wild animal's appetite aggressively assiduously
circling
I remember my mom holding me the day of my birth
sullen. her sunken eyes scrawling "stupid son, unwanted" on my soul
I remember asking my dad if he wanted to play with me, then
summarily spurned, sauntering off with some of his friends instead
I remember smacking a boy for snickering at me in school,
a retaliation of sorts spitting in his face standing above him
skeptical of everyone and everything searching everyone with searing eyes
...I guess the truth is
Ive always hated the notion of "Salvation" and all those who support
salvage or try to sell it to the masses
because Ive always hated myself
and God for it





--------------Acts 1:17-20
For he was numbered with us, and had obtained part of this ministry. Now this man purchased a field with the reward of iniquity; and falling headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels gushed out. And it was known unto all the dwellers at Jerusalem; insomuch as that field is called in their proper tongue, Aceldama, that is to say, The field of blood. For it is written in the book of Psalms, Let his habitation be desolate, and let no man dwell therein: and his bishoprick let another take.

Jesus' Fiat: A Broken World - Perfect

* Jesus, pray for me [to God Your Father, and mine]

YO YO YOOOOOOO! MY PARTY PEOPLES! MERRY HO HO HO! HO HO HO HOOOOO! (RALPHIE!!!!) CHRISTMAS MY PEEPS! AYO SON! PEOPLES THINK CHRISTMAS IS ALL BOUT MARY'S FIAT, LET IT BE DONE TO ME, OR WHATEVA WHATEVA - AND THATS COOL - BIG UP TO MY MOMMA MARY UP IN H EAVEN AND ALL, BUT WORD LIFE SON! THE REAL MIRACLE, THE REAL FIAT, WAS JESUS' JOINT SON!

THINK ABOUT IT, REEL HARD....THE REAL MIRACLE OF THE FIAT WASNT A SINLESS CHILD BORN FROM A SINLESS WOMB - NO NO NOOOO..

IT WAS THAT JESUS WOULD SAY YES TO US, AND COME DOWN FROM COMFY HEAVEN AND INHABIT A DIRTY DEPLORABLE EARTH!

THE REAL FIAT IS ABOUT THE CHILD SAYING YES TO COME OUT THE WOMB, PEEPZ!


--------/A Broken World Perfect. Jesus is A Good Dude (Pt2): Jesus' Fiat

Praise in heaven pertinacious piety from elders and archangels
not loud enough to prevent the piercing
pleas of the penurious pained
promised a better life (one day, a Savior)
or memories of the placid:
My Spirit Hovering over waters of Perpetual Philanthropy
My wisdom abetting me asking
to create a chosen, charmed species capable of choices
charity, caprice
free to love, or hate not constrained, but consensually
the emblem of all we cherished - True Love
we created the world, we loved it all
it was good
I created the Bright Morning Star as a memento of my undying loyalty
effulgent. excellently emoting my endearing affection for man
everywhere
exceptionally well - never equivocating
harmony abounded. the vibrancy of tree colors celestial calm
resplendent rivers romanticizing, dazzling stones, diamonds, dynamic
melodies mild majestic breezes, stately
heartwarming intimacy conversations
with the saints of yesterday - Moses, Abraham Enoch,
Elijah laughing, infectious smile
but peering down, dank dreary dire clouds of sin create a dark myst
before my throne
darkness hatred of the sun
the souls of women are screaming for salvation
from the sordid slavery of self destruction/Satan
the acrimonious blood of Cain, Jephthah's daughter, Stephen, Isaiah
once a slight smell
now a stench
fire blazes from earth smog, soot, sinister smoke rises
my people need help
the dilapidated diseased damaged world
has arrived at the fullness of its corruption
(and the pinnacle of its influence: Roman Rule)

I must leave

the sanguine security of sovereign Spirit
and put on decaying rotting flesh
to redeem it forever
to redeem what was ripped from their hands robbed
restore dignity and sanity to a race of beings bifurcated and brutish
on the brink of losing themselves
in their own hatred of love of hedonism languishing
before judgment
perishing with minds maladroit malicious bodies
fully aware in doing so I must meet
the Destroyer
Death Dangles his Dastardly Sword
reaching his hand up to greet me
fingers touching the back of his palms beckoning
(wine mixed with vinegar)


------/Luke 1:30-38
And the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end." And Mary said to the angel, "How will this be, since I am a virgin?" And the angel answered her, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy-the Son of God. And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. For nothing will be impossible with God." And Mary said, "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word." And the angel departed from her.

My Life Without You

* dedicated to Silverstein, Discovering the Waterfront
* St Paul, pray for me

Discovering the Waterfront video, yall! CHECK IT OUT, PARTY PEOPLES!

------/Acts Chronicles Chapter. 18 - From Now On - (My) Life Without You; Paul's Thoughts After Telling the Jews He Would Go On To The Gentiles

Wistfully I watch woebegone women and men wondrously
dying
standing erect
grating
at my attempts to send sincere salve, trying to sway or stimulate
soothing;
salvation
from their sad solemn sobering sepulchral states
and fates - tourniquet for tumultuous turmoils of the tyranny
of a sinful soul
and trust me, I know what that's like. I know what its like to murder to
compensate for the ills of the interior pining for peace and placation
murder is the only art a madman can manage
murder is the only art that the meretricious can appreciate,
the art of melee; malaise. I killed under the guise of saving the people
a merciful God loved
from a band of "misfits". Perverted pitiable pugnacious sophistry still
paining me presently
because I never fully rendered obeisance to life
(or to Him)
until I gained an astounding aptitude for understanding death
and I've seen blood gushing from wheezing geriatrics gelid
after eternities (upon reflection on my bed) of gasping with no aid
the tormented expressions of their children, grandchildren looking back
as they fled - me on my horse - delirious [pursuits]
with eyes of darkness
the same eyes I see reviling me
opposing me every single Sabbath in the synagogue to which I sojourn
preaching
an eternal effectual message of emancipation
from sorrow
and guilt
and feeling compelled to compulsorily cater to and measure up
from the pessimism that impedes and insidiously prevents people
from placing
hands on joy
the Good News - for all of us
that obviates the need to become what I once was
someone who I wished I wasnt:
an empty Pharisee trying to fix everything around him
with a heart deteriorating.

[but the perishing recalcitrant has a foul mouth
and the delusional psychotic, lost in a world of skewed subjectivity;
there is an honor to heretics who heckle and harass all humankind
in their own inner circles
a suicide pact. a stubborn arrogance. vile harried hideous hatred
hallowed and illogical insanity instantly heralded as truth
rigor-mortis on two feet
languishing with leprosy while laughing lips
falling off
weeping while winebibbing wretchedly whisking away
blind with the belief you can still see the sun blazing...
bleeding
that your own cruelty wont let me stop]

[because you dont despise dying enough for me to stay with you]


------Acts 18:4-7
And he reasoned in the synagogue every Sabbath, and tried to persuade Jews and Greeks. When Silas and Timothy arrived from Macedonia, Paul was occupied with the word, testifying to the Jews that the Christ was Jesus. And when they opposed and reviled him, he shook out his garments and said to them, "Your blood be on your own heads! I am innocent. From now on I will go to the Gentiles." And he left there and went to the house of a man named Titius Justus, a worshiper of God. His house was next door to the synagogue.


---/ Discovering The Waterfront Lyrics

I will promise myself I won't care
distracting myself from your stare
and I've seen this mistake once before
with your games I will never fall for
I've hung up my guns
I won't kill again

I won't forget you (I won't forget you)
I'm not gonna let you win (I'm not gonna...)
but I'm tired of lying
tired of fighting you
and it's not gonna change

You ask for my heart
you know that I'm down
but not the way you lie to me,
you tear it all apart and beg for me to stay
I've sailed off to sea (sailed off to sea),
I'm not coming back

I won't forget you (I won't forget you)
I'm not gonna let you win (I'm not gonna...)
but I'm tired of lying
tired of fighting you
and it's not gonna change

Counting down
Make that sound
And you know it makes no sense
Counting down
Till you mess around
And I know you can't ever change
When I'm trembling,
Thrown overboard
And I'm ready to relive the past
Counting down
Make that sound
Break the silence

Pretend it's not forever,
I'll pull myself together
I'll say that I'll forget her,
I'll breathe.
And I'll say she never hurt me,
And look at it as learning,
And laugh about the good and the bad.
Because I won't live forever
We don't belong together,
I know I'll feel better,
One day when I can make it through.

I won't forget you (I won't forget you)
I'm not gonna let you win (I'm not gonna...)
but I'm tired of lying
tired of fighting you
and it's not gonna change (It's not gonna change)

I won't forget you (Counting down...)
I'm not gonna let you win (Counting down...)
but I'm tired of lying
tired of fighting you
and it's not gonna change

Review about Discovering The Waterfront

Silverstein helps. | Reviewer: Brooklyn | 1/20/11

Me and my girlfriend recently broke up.
This was both of our favorite bands.
We used to sit and listen to tehm together, which showed our love through the songs.
Now, I happened to get the nerve to tell ehr to listen to this song.
And it brought us back closer.
When she listened to it, she found meaning and how I really felt.
This is for anyone who wants to find real meaning in lyrics.


Silverstein rocks !! | Reviewer: Anonymous | 12/11/10

They are the best band ever, i always want to hear they're songs specially while im holding my boy's necklace that he gave to me. Im not like those others who listen to silverstein's songs cause they're brokenhearted. All i mean is even though you're happy or not , broken or fixed , silverstein's songs were the best songs you should listen to :)


lost for words | Reviewer: bowzer | 10/27/10

i just love this band. even though i don't really like the screaming in most of their songs, all of them have a true meaning to it that i can't ignore. these songs are an inspiration to me, and have finally opened my eyes to something meaningful. rock on,silverstein.


=christinsideofme= | Reviewer: Anonymous | 11/21/09

love this song ever..this music healing me when i was broken hearted,i feel anguish on my self that time but when i heard this music feels me different better...and now i over come all Ive done....


Waz up!? | Reviewer: Anonymous | 10/6/09

It is really hurt when you broke up with somebody you care, you love, and you thought that he is the one. But this music really enliven those who have broken heart. But one should move on. Don't stock yourself with lies.


release | Reviewer: Anonymous | 8/30/09

yesterday i broke up with my girl.. well she dump me.. now im looking for sounds that recognize what im feeling right now.. im so sad and tired..
Pretend it's not forever
I'll pull myself together
I'll say that I'll forget her
I'll breathe

And I'll say she never hurt me
And look at it as learning
And laugh about the good and the bad

Because I will live forever
We don't belong together
I know I'll feel better
One day when I can make it through
:)



Cant Get Over It | Reviewer: xxMariaaaxx | 8/25/09

This song is hands down empathetically healing.
It is hard for us to get over the person who
held our heart and cared for it dearly.
But silverstein always finds a way to make us feel
better with their AMAZING lyrics and awesome music. Safe to say they changed me as well.
For the better.


Reviewer | Reviewer: Ryan | 8/10/09

This is song is one word, AMAZING.
It sounds cliche but this song somehow makes me feel better. When i listen to this song I'm lost in the words, and i don't feel the pain that i suffer through anymore. I can truly say, Silverstein changed me.


amazing. | Reviewer: rachel dorion | 5/30/09

everyone knows this is the break up savior.

me and my boyfriend of eight months had been through one of the toughest break ups i'll ever go through.
he almost committed suicide because of family issues and just his life.
i don't think i'll ever forget the things he's done for me or how he opened my eyes.
people can change.
i've seen it.

silverstein know what they are talking about.


Again, one of my favorites... | Reviewer: msilly | 5/11/09

yepperss
this song is just amazing.
i love their songs bc they mostly consist
of helping relieve the pain of heartbreak.
its funny how i discovered the band wen i was
going thru a break up.
i love this band.

Always A Balm In Gilead - (As Gilead)

------------/1 Kings and Things Chapter 4: Strong Memories. Solomon's Words To Ben-Geber When Choosing Him As An Officer

We used to run from whips
in Egypt, where flies slept on our children's faces
but in Canaan we decided,
no son of Isaac would ever flee again
no son of Jacob would ever again sleep in the bosom of disgrace nightly
so we unsheathed our swords
so we faced all of our fears
we unmercifully, unremittingly, undaunted upended the unjust
useless King of Aram, Eglob of Moab, Jabin and Sisera...
the Ammonites and the Philistines
we purged the guilt of the piercing shrills of our enemies
stabbed
with those of our cousins starving of hunger
dying with their eyes opened tongues
hanging
yet we could not abandon the principle Mercy set before us
razing the cities of the rebellious refuse ravaging
the mind of Pharaoh with ten plagues before pity could placate
wrath, waves waylaying wretched wickedness
crashing over his craven calls for a cease
to the same cruelty his crimes against us we bore for hundreds of years;
so we resolved to repudiate the restlessness of the refugees
providing in Gilead what we never had, a refuge
a respite from the pressures of paranoid living we always had
amnesty and dignity for those with charges of dubitable malfeasance
fairness for the accused, a community for outliers, lepers and
the misunderstood mourning. solace, solitude and serenity
for the suffering
simply a place to wander when life went awry
and a perpetual hope to even the most severely despondent
(our plight before God sent us Moses)
but in lieu of all this - to those who persist in accosting, standing in our way
and dare evoke recollections of our slavery
or so much as raise a shackle in our direction -
cynically honoring the diabolical dastardly deeds done against us
we keep and hold our honor and render hallowed homage to Bashan
on our mantels, giant skulls
of Argob
seared in our minds, the mighty fallen of Og
sixty great cities, with walls of impossibility decked with bronze bars
of the impassable, implausible:
mighty majestic malefic weapons meant for our demise
six men long, three men wide. skeletons thick as temple pillars.
the arrogant lifeless before the humble
Goliath slain before a shepherd boy making merry
a memento always,
a presently burning flame in the temple of memory
that size, strength, numbers have no bearing on the outcome of war
but rather faith
that despite dung threatening disease on our children, legacy et al
YHWH watches
YHWH whispers: I bring
"wonders, wrath"
"only be strong," Ben-Geber
Be strong.
Your food will remind my entire household of this, [of Gilead and Bashan
Dove and Raven, Lamb and the Lion, a scarred past and a future balm
of despair rescued by dreams realized and pleas heeded]
as long as I live
love
and lead


--------1 Kings 4:7,13--
Solomon had twelve officers over all Israel, who provided food for the king and his household. Each man had to make provision for one month in the year....Ben-geber, in Ramoth-gilead (he had the villages of Jair the son of Manasseh, which are in Gilead, and he had the region of Argob, which is in Bashan, sixty great cities with walls and bronze bars);

Eye Hath Not Seen.....But I Want It To

photo courtesy of http://becoming88.blogspot.com/

I hail from PG county, land of the Mongols with spiked clubs, barbarians with
flaming torches terrorizing, tormenting townsfolk with truculent temerity. You dont want to be here, trust. Shrouded in suffocating smog, scary thugs as villains, not lazy lugubrious neighbors who languish during trash pick-up, or the eastern screech owls screeching ! I only wonder what fairer lands look like, spacious plains of peace. Heavenly

--------------/Nebraska

When I hear harried car horns honking...each morning
I close my eyes, the asphalt serving as the defacto plains of the metropolis
metamorphose into verdant rolling hills segueing into dense forests
for exploration I dip both palms into
rushing raging rustic streams
brothers with deer and elk - exquisite
exhaling, lowering my chin comfortably to my chest
reflective - then full of vitality
vivid vibrant vivacious varied hues on trees
(clearly visible not obscured by vicious skyscrapers or vile
dilapidated housing or glaring gunshots)
each auspicious august autumn. sleeping softly on soft grass I see
(in a dream within a dream) a silhouette of a girl serenely standing
in the distance (hair shimmying sensually) [you] under the stars
her stately breath composes "RESPITE" against the onyx
canvas speckled with the milky way, I awake - the
brisk brash breeze the bright
sterling shining of the sun sacred greet me
effulgent thick white clouds juxtaposed against golden wheat fields
miles long salute me with grace
I guess I, along with the garish grating
pharisees sadducees roman soldiers and Galilean denizens didnt know
or they wouldnt have crucified
Nebraska*
the hope of my weary waning waylaid soul
and in winter time when I imagine us together holding hands
I envision hallowed hills packed with heavy snow high strained limbs
hanging low
pure
grabbing handfuls and chucking at you playfully
the white terrain- almost blinding us beckoning us toward
the azure dazzling fascinating faithful firmament
and beyond
beyond the frenetic feckless crowds everywhere
beyond the potholes in the paranoid psychotic pavement
pressing the mind into agitation, and poor drivers into apoplexy
beyond the pathos of the neurotic person without peace
always
I try to foresee all these things. and what it would be like to kiss you
but as it is written
eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart
of me - the things which you have prepared for
those who love you - and visit
your hometown

(Tell me what its like to be in Nebraska, lying on the grass with you - away from it all)

* eschewed living there;
the wisdom of God in a mystery in plain sight
even hidden wisdom


-------------1 Corinthians 2:7-9
But we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, even the hidden wisdom, which God ordained before the world unto our glory: Which none of the princes of this world knew: for had they known it, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

Anne, When You Said No To Lunch With Me, You Sure Nailed It!

Anne, how could you do this baby girl? You sexy curly blonde smart voluptuous fit girl? I wanted to save you with my love, purge your heart from all the sins of your boyfriends past, present and future...but you didnt want that did you babes? You wanted some other kind of savior huh? Maybe a rebel king, a 6'4 hulking brute who takes charge (of both people and situations,) huh? Not a little meek wimp shepherd like me huh? When sensibility asked you to give me another chance following your refusal of our first lunch date, you know what you said?....CRUCIFY HIM!


-------------/My September Crucifixion (Pt 2) Anne I Was Your Liege, Yet You Designated and Killed Me As King (Of Fools)

The crown of thorns you gave me
you know, the cruel chastising coronation of the king of fools
didnt really feel like pricking, or even piercing pangs but plaintive
paralysis
bloodletting from then on
each step I took pressing forth was like scourging your
smarmy sinister smiles, salutations (at softball games, in the halls) like whips
searing my soul with sullenness throughout each day
falling down in deep depths of depression, dust in my eyes
shame in my soul, Simon (my improbable hope of you changing your mind
one day) helping to shoulder my burden from Cyrene
I let my hands fall limp when you heckled my haggard honor
with nefarious nails of negligence
two whole months after your rejection, not a word yet you feign intimate
friendship when you pass me by, garrulously chatting about minutiae
and not the sign you cynically hammered above my head
"king of the spurned"
wondering why you wasted our friendship waiting for whats
left of my self-esteem to wane
wondering why you didnt just explain the reason for your cancellation
rather than abhorrently abscond off somewhere, aloofly
wondering
WHY HAST LOVE FORSAKEN ME?
when they erected my cross of your disdain, I sobbed
a public spectacle, another repulsive man repudiated
raining blood and water from his side
with the lance of your memories
a sponge of my sexy reflections of you sweet like wine
but upon pondering what I will most likely never have
it tastes like gall
Anne, you killed me by condemning me to the disgusting fate
of a loser, a worthless man
a thief
a murderer
but all I wanted to do is kiss you and make you happy
but now the sun of my mirth is darkened
into love's hands I commend my spirit hoping in the next life
some girl will find it in her to love me
but for now you can have my dead body



---------------Luke 23:45-48-----------
And the sun was darkened, and the veil of the temple was rent in the midst. And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost. Now when the centurion saw what was done, he glorified God, saying, Certainly this was a righteous man. And all the people that came together to that sight, beholding the things which were done, smote their breasts, and returned.

Rita, If We Dont Fall In Love, Something Is Truly Fishy!

Rita, do I mind going in for a check-up? With you at the receptionist desk, heck no! I want to get checked up ALL THE TIME, BABES! CHECK EVERYTHING OUT ABOUT ME, SHOOT! JUST AS LONG AS I CAN LOOK LONGINGLY INTO YOUR EYES WHILE SCHEDULING THE NEXT APPOINTMENT!


ASIAN WOMEN ARE SO PRETTY!!!!

--------------/Rita, You Fill My Net (Of Love) With Fish; Always

Rita, baby
Loneliness and pining for your love is the sea of Tiberias
visions of your kiss, your dazzling pulchritude, me lost
in your gallant genuine gaze while you ask me my availability
for the next check-up
is the sea of Tiberias
intoxicating
my physical attraction to you is headstrong Simon Peter
my indefatigable conviction about your greatness (after some skeptical, yet sincere sleuthing about your feelings for me, etc) isThomas
Nathaniel of Cana, is the striking scintillating spark of chemistry - your first miracle for me, the Sons of Zebedee are the thunderous twins of passion love and lust that I have trouble mediating between as they squabble
and there are two other attendant feelings I have inside my heart,
but wont name them due to my anxieties....
(one of them is my strong flirting, the one you love)
the quorum of my emotions standing on the shore discussing you endlessly
our fondness for you, your paralyzing charm, when finally
Peter tells them "I go a fishing"
for Rita's hand in marriage and they all got into a boat of enthralled expectation, that the next time I visited the doctor you would
profess your love, into the huge net of my presumptions,
desperate yearning
but I caught nothing. (you werent even in the office)
back on the shore of melancholy I remembered
your voice: during the last appointment you asked my emotions
"children, have ye any meat?" from the hebrew translated roughly
"Tony, how was your day?"
and this encouraging thought was enough for extensive extrapolation
I imagined you saying to me "cast the net on the right side of the ship"
or "come visit doctor X one more time, I'll be there then"
when I set sail for the doctor, there you were stunning in a black dress
now
the net was filled to the brim with multitudinous fish of optimism
of us together; my attraction amplified its adulation
and jumped into the water of lovers' euphoria almost naked overzealous
chasing after you
after flirting unveiled your grin "It is the Lord" (this is Rita you revere
say something dude, she is sitting right in front of you! [and I did!])
and your choice of preferred times offered to me for my following visit-
a fire of coals
of promise for our perpetually perfect pending relationship
fish of lullabies I'll sing you on our honeymoon laid thereon....
and bread of steamy (married) sex!
before parting, you, knowing I was simply spectacularly smitten,
told me "bring of the fish which ye now caught;"
"have a good day, I'll see you next time"
there was so much effusive exuberant joy in the net that it amazed us both:
that I had fallen for you so hard - I perceived it in your eyes.
when I come back in six more weeks, I fully expect you to pronounce
"come an dine;"
"Tony is now my boyfriend cum husand"

(and you - Jesus)



--------/John 21:1-12
After these things Jesus shewed himself again to the disciples at the sea of Tiberias; and on this wise shewed he himself. There were together Simon Peter, and Thomas called Didymus, and Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, and the sons of Zebedee, and two other of his disciples. Simon Peter saith unto them, I go a fishing. They say unto him, We also go with thee. They went forth, and entered into a ship immediately; and that night they caught nothing. But when the morning was now come, Jesus stood on the shore: but the disciples knew not that it was Jesus. Then Jesus saith unto them, Children, have ye any meat? They answered him, No. And he said unto them, Cast the net on the right side of the ship, and ye shall find. They cast therefore, and now they were not able to draw it for the multitude of fishes. Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved saith unto Peter, It is the Lord. Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he girt his fisher's coat unto him, (for he was naked,) and did cast himself into the sea. And the other disciples came in a little ship; (for they were not far from land, but as it were two hundred cubits,) dragging the net with fishes. As soon then as they were come to land, they saw a fire of coals there, and fish laid thereon, and bread. Jesus saith unto them, Bring of the fish which ye have now caught. Simon Peter went up, and drew the net to land full of great fishes, an hundred and fifty and three: and for all there were so many, yet was not the net broken. Jesus saith unto them, Come and dine. And none of the disciples durst ask him, Who art thou? knowing that it was the Lord.

Kaley Cuoco, Baby, Your Love is Like Sinews And Flesh!

-----------/Happy Valley

Kaley, baby I am a valley; this day
debased....decollated in darkness demeaned dont dally
sing a dirge for the lost. I am depressed devoid
of determination to keep pressing forth, drastically deprived
of vitality - from rejected attempts at falling in love by fiends
of the middle class: girls who repeatedly renounced me refused my offers
to lunch, to coffee, to converse with them through e-mail,
or even at Bible study, fathers who pastor churches chagrinned
by black boys "prowling" for their daughters, you see
my heart is a valley of bones, (very) dry
because the lives of the men of romantic valor they represent
the man of confidence
the man of cheer, chivalry
the man clad in optimism and brimming with levity concerned
only of how to please the woman of his dreams: kiss her
etc
have been languishing here for quite some time their pained cries
for help ignored decaying
slain
by callous women who blindly and brutally bludgeon my hopes
of being with them, singleness and loneliness forever
blithely,
- they dont even give me reasons, they just ignore me. flee -
and the winds of forlornness sweep dirt, over their memories
with a howl shrills of the forgotten
piles of bones, fracturing and splitting as wolves of cynicism pass through

But when I began to watch TV, I became bubbly Big Bang Theory
like a beam of sun parting the dreary clouds
you so sexy. so voluptuous, so full of vitality one of your lines:
(Im sure you said this, but anyway this is how I construed it)
"Can these Bones Live?" and the studio audience giddily laughed
smiled at the auspicious tone in your voice, 'twas
like prophecy
just staring at your glorious face is breath entering forming lungs
the dreams I have of us getting married are like sinews upon me
me stroking your hair while we make out is thawing warmth to stiff death
like flesh and skin covering my ambition to be with the celebrity of my dreams
the prospect of holding your waist, staring into your eyes beneath the stars
in my soul is the noise of a blaring trumpet of jubilee
and frenetic apoplectic shaking
bringing all my scattered bones of broken overtures together
all of the dead men inside of me linked and united
every man's bone to his bone
but it wasnt until I sat and reflected on how much I truly adored you
on how eagerly, enthusiastically and expectantly I want a celeb
with her own enchanted world
that the true gusts of your generative greatness rushed like sensual blowing
that they lived, and stood up upon their feet, an exceeding great army
all the scores of my sons of sacred devotion to amour revived
ready to fight for everlasting amity with you
armed with the assurance of your affection
that Kaley Cuoco is resurrection
to Tony Conti's worn lovelorn demise

(forever loved)

[KALEY BABY, MARRY ME GIRL! I NEED A CELEB CRUSH IN MY LIFE. FORGET ALL THESE MIDDLE AND LOWER CLASS GIRLS WHO BREAK MY HEART TIME AFTER TIME! ITS TIME TO MOOOOVVVEEEE ON UP! TO THE EAST SIIIIDDDEEEEEEE! KISS ME KALEY KISS ME!!!! YOU ARE SOOOO SEXY! E-MAIL ME! THEJESUSMETAPHOR@YAHOO.COM]


----------Ezekiel 37:1-10
The hand of the Lord was upon me, and carried me out in the spirit of the Lord, and set me down in the midst of the valley which was full of bones, And caused me to pass by them round about: and, behold, there were very many in the open valley; and, lo, they were very dry. And he said unto me, Son of man, can these bones live? And I answered, O Lord God, thou knowest. Again he said unto me, Prophesy upon these bones, and say unto them, O ye dry bones, hear the word of the Lord. Thus saith the Lord God unto these bones; Behold, I will cause breath to enter into you, and ye shall live: And I will lay sinews upon you, and will bring up flesh upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and ye shall live; and ye shall know that I am the Lord. So I prophesied as I was commanded: and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and behold a shaking, and the bones came together, bone to his bone. And when I beheld, lo, the sinews and the flesh came up upon them, and the skin covered them above: but there was no breath in them. Then said he unto me, Prophesy unto the wind, prophesy, son of man, and say to the wind, Thus saith the Lord God; Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe upon these slain, that they may live. So I prophesied as he commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they lived, and stood up upon their feet, an exceeding great army.

Census (Of the Lovelorn)

Check Out Annabel Video Here!!! oOOO YEAH!!!

* dedicated to Alesana, Annabel

* dedicated to my future wife, Grim Reaper, Angel of Death. To all the girls who I gave a knife and my heart, my vulnerability and my love, who subsequently then destroyed me with your feckless, unfeeling, hardhearted rejection; I was gonna name names, but decided against it. Baby, future wife, please draw your sword of your addictive, sexy love (salvo of passion) and stretch your hand out at the threshing floor of Ornan the Jebusite - my misguided loyalty to them. Because when you come...in my eyes...THEY ARE ALL DEAD!

David, pray for me

And David lifted up his eyes, and saw the angel of the Lord stand between the earth and the heaven, having a drawn sword in his hand stretched out over Jerusalem


------------/Cruel Cursed Census

[Lost, lovelorn, loathed and alone
angry
driven to ultimatums, to know
finally
who loves me - not many women
only a thousand thousand and an hundred thousand
from Beer-sheba even to Dan
when other nations boast at least twice more
when other men lounge in luxurious liberty of reciprocating suitors
but I
languish
angel of death snarling (at my suggestion)
vengeance - destroy this land of reprobate suitors
rebellious towards my amorous, amicable advances
stand at the threshing floor of my devotion, my innocence
and my vulnerability to women gone wayward
sword drawn - pestilence
I regret my decision
I regret knowledge of girls dissing me; bring
obliteration. pools of blood and disease]



I was wrong for it, but I just wanted to know
who would requite my love
who would do lunch with me, or coffee, or let me visit Philadelphia
but I numbered you, I dispatched my unwilling conscience (Joab)
(by asking you out, asking you to view my blog, asking you to email me
somewhat brusquely, presumptuously, and prematurely before I knew you well)
to girls Ive met at church even to college and gym,
Beer-sheba even to Dan
and the census report of my amorous landscape was troubling
there were only a thousand thousand and an hundred thousand [wo]men
that drew sword
there were only a pathetic paltry pitiable few, a pittance, of suitors willing
to fight for me
(the scores of abnegations, renunciations notwithstanding)
to kiss me, to rub my back, to whisper wondrous words in my ears
when Im lovelorn and melancholy
when the security of my throne is called into question and dubious
when I just need to know I have solidarity for my soul
not even worth mentioning in comparison with adjacent nations that boast
of six foot four inch men, rich men, and suave men that brag
of millions of helpmates that dote on them (who throw themselves at them
impetuously)
but regretfully I acted erroneously I should have patiently bided my time
until the advent of my future wife - the only woman who could understand
who will empathize and
comfort
(I shouldnt have tried to vindicate myself with a quantifiable number of
refusals, implicating love, suggesting a referendum on the existence
of romance itself, of her)
she should have been my choice refuge all along. resultantly
Gad, my pained spirit in pangs desperate for a female's embrace
heralds three ills of chilling consequence which I choose
purgation -
three days of the sword of pestilent recollections of all the afflictions
allotted me: all the acerbic lunch rejections, facebook friend dismissals, the sly aversions by the acrimonious and emotionally absent
in order to finally rid the nation of Israel, of my blighted self esteem
of the lore of my foolhardy choice
by the Angel of Death - my future bride who will mercilessly maliciously murder
(the sword of her passion for me drawn, its appetite whetted)
any mention of a hurtful hussy henceforth
she stands at the threshing floor of Ornan
the place in my heart most vulnerable to romantic agony;
my place of devotion to lasting marriage, soiled by cruelty to me
my disloyalty
woe
knife

------1 Chronicles 21:1-17
And Satan stood up against Israel, and provoked David to number Israel. And David said to Joab and to the rulers of the people, Go, number Israel from Beer–sheba even to Dan; and bring the number of them to me, that I may know it And Joab answered, The Lord make his people an hundred times so many more as they be: but, my lord the king, are they not all my lord's servants? why then doth my lord require this thing? why will he be a cause of trespass to Israel? Nevertheless the king's word prevailed against Joab. Wherefore Joab departed, and went throughout all Israel, and came to Jerusalem. And Joab gave the sum of the number of the people unto David. And all they of Israel were a thousand thousand and an hundred thousand men that drew sword: and Judah was four hundred threescore and ten thousand men that drew sword. But Levi and Benjamin counted he not among them: for the king's word was abominable to Joab. And God was displeased with this thing; therefore he smote Israel. And David said unto God, I have sinned greatly, because I have done this thing: but now, I beseech thee, do away the iniquity of thy servant; for I have done very foolishly. And the Lord spake unto Gad, David's seer, saying, Go and tell David, saying, Thus saith the Lord, I offer thee three things: choose thee one of them, that I may do it unto thee. So Gad came to David, and said unto him, Thus saith the Lord, Choose thee Either three years' famine; or three months to be destroyed before thy foes, while that the sword of thine enemies overtaketh thee; or else three days the sword of the Lord, even the pestilence, in the land, and the angel of the Lord destroying throughout all the coasts of Israel. Now therefore advise thyself what word I shall bring again to him that sent me. And David said unto Gad, I am in a great strait: let me fall now into the hand of the Lord; for very great are his mercies: but let me not fall into the hand of man. So the Lord sent pestilence upon Israel: and there fell of Israel seventy thousand men. And God sent an angel unto Jerusalem to destroy it: and as he was destroying, the Lord beheld, and he repented him of the evil, and said to the angel that destroyed, It is enough, stay now thine hand. And the angel of the Lord stood by the threshingfloor of Ornan the Jebusite. And David lifted up his eyes, and saw the angel of the Lord stand between the earth and the heaven, having a drawn sword in his hand stretched out over Jerusalem. Then David and the elders of Israel, who were clothed in sackcloth, fell upon their faces. And David said unto God, Is it not I that commanded the people to be numbered? even I it is that have sinned and done evil indeed; but as for these sheep, what have they done? let thine hand, I pray thee, O Lord my God, be on me, and on my father's house; but not on thy people, that they should be plagued.

-----Annabel Lyrics

[Narrator] -
Her youthful flush color had drained from her much
like the very blood from her veins upon the bedding on which she lied.
Such a foul image for one to behold,
but in some twisted way it only seemed to enhance her exquisite beauty,
like a lily on a grave.
I have failed.
Once again I have let her down.
My poor sweet Annabel.
You trusted in me, you gave me your love, your soul.
Now I fall to my knees in front of the man who took you from me.
I fall pathetic, defeated.
I will be with you again so soon, my love. So very soon.
The eyes of an angel await me and I'll be damned if he thinks he can stop me now...
[Annabel:]
Sweetheart? Darling?
Turn around. It's me.
Follow my voice.
Everything is going to be okay, my love.
Everything will be fine.
It's all over now...


How does the dagger feel now
When you're on the receiving end?
If this is what you call betrayal
Then this is what I call revenge

How could I be so blind?
I guess I fell in love too quickly
But I'm fine

Imagine where you'd be now
If you only knew
The one you love is
The one who's killing you
I trusted you too much

I know now that I should have
Kept my eyes wide open
The first time that we kissed
I'll bury you for this

Just say to me
That this time is the last time
And I'll pretend
That somehow I know we'll be fine

Years spent watching in silence
As your illness spilled onto page
Those were the last days I spent with you
Before you left, before he came

How could I be so blind?
I guess I fell in love too quickly
But I'm fine

Imagine where you'd be now
If you only knew
The one you love is
The one who's killing you
I trusted you too much

I know now that I should have
Kept my eyes wide open
The first time that we kissed
I'll bury you for this

Just say to me
That this time is the last time
And I'll pretend that I'm fine

Oh, is it my fault?
You fell into the illusion
You've been living discretely

Or should I blame you in the end?
Did you ever think the sketches
Would take over completely?

Oh, is it my fault?
Oh, is it my fault?

Die, just die
You are scum, you are filth
Choke on blood
As your knife ends the show
Writhe in pain
You thought you'd never know

I don't think they dig graves
Close enough to hell for the likes of you
I don't think they dig graves
Close enough to hell for the likes of you

I handed you a knife and my heart, oh
I handed you a knife and my heart, oh
And now the dream is over
And now the dream is over

I handed you a knife and my heart, oh
I handed you a knife and my heart, oh
And now the dream is over
And now the dream is over

How could I be so blind?
I guess I fell in love too quickly
But I'm fine

Imagine where you'd be now
If you only knew
The one you love is
The one who's killing you
I trusted you too much

I know now that I should have
Kept my eyes wide open
The first time that we kissed
I'll bury you for this

I handed you a knife and my heart, oh
I handed you a knife and my heart, oh
And now the dream is over
And now the dream is over

I handed you a knife and my heart, oh
I handed you a knife and my heart, oh
And now the dream is over
And now the dream is over

I handed you a knife and my heart, oh
I handed you a knife and my heart, oh
And now the dream is over, oh
And now the dream is over

Sacrilege, Savage

----------/Three Wise Men (pt 3): Sacrilege, Savage: The Thoughts Of Herod at The Heralding Of A New Jewish King

Sitting on your throne clasping your scepter tightly
jaw clinched
teeth grinding heart
palpitating, from your pores sweat pouring and this -
the recurring dream that wont abate
candle flickering...(unwieldy undulating unsettling unbearable uncanny
flame)
on the wick, writhing. wax beading then streaming
stridently, with celerity
beside your bed on the floor, your wife sleep softly snoring
suspicious but not quite aware of your all encompassing angst
You rest your hand on your forehead closing your eyes
shadows of your hunched somber silhouette
loom large lurching, on your wall every time you breath and exhale
deeply
against the conflagration that cajoles and coaxes you to
obey your anxiety and act hastily
and irrevocably
but deep down denials wont change the inexorable and you know this
a child - son of the moon for you
born at night a metaphor for the temporality, the mortality of your reign
will soon wrest the power that allows pleasing patronage of you
and that insignificance and abject poverty, perhaps pangs
of execution await you for all your cruel deeds:
adultery, theft, oppression, neglect and rulings decided largely
by bribes and not justice jettisoning jurist and jurisprudence
as a practice
sneering at the cries of the widow, and the orphan
trembling
with both indignation and fear
hating that your harem that made you happy might leave
paeans to prostitutes prohibited
that your wife (aware of your trysts but enduring) might leave
...a child - but son of the sun for the Jewish people
dawning a new era of the peace and liberation that even
my tyranny
and wanton callous wickedness and suppression
cannot squelch the hope of...
will be born
that must necessarily ruin my life and herald the day the memory
of Herod ceases
and the three wise men tell me that this prophecy logically implies
the virgin giving birth logically implies the improbable;
one cannot escape the inevitable
one cannot escape one's destiny
the old order of things is passing away and a new world approaches
that demands my eviction
well (maybe so...but)
I will not acquiesce without the shrill histrionic howlings of hell
without the sword slaughtering and spilling the blood
that sufficiently slakes my malcontent
even if only for a time....
every male child two years old and younger must and will certainly
die

(and I will chuckle churlishly as they cry)



------Matthew 2:1-4/13
Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the east came to Jerusalem, saying, "Where is he who has been born king of the Jews? For we saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him." When Herod the king heard this, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him; and assembling all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Christ was to be born./Now when they had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, "Rise, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you, for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him."

Jesus is a Good Dude Part 1

Tony: Yo what up Jesus

[Tony gives Jesus some dap]

Jesus: Nothing much, my son

Tony (grinning): AWWWW SNAP! MY HOMIE JESUS USED SOME EBONICS, SON! He called me son!

Jesus: .....

Tony: So, yo J where we going tonight, Son? We going to Union Jacks in Bethesda, we going to Power Plant Live in Baltimore Son? So you can roll up in that joint and be like - 'YO! THOU SHALT BE TONY'S WIFE!' to the hottest babe in that joint, nah mean son? NAHMEAN?????!!!!

Jesus: Lets just relax and bask in the Glory of the Father

Tony: ..whuuuut? Okay! okay! Lets just kick it here, and smoke some blunts and drink some shots to the GOOOD LIIIIFFFFEEEE!

[Jesus glares at Tony]

Tony: ...ahem! I MEANT the spiritual blunts of Bible reading and the shots of silent prayer! Metaphors you see.....I AM AFTER ALL, THEJESUSMETAPHOR!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

---------------/Jesus is a Good Dude - The Good Life Pt1: Either/Or - Your Glory or Mine

Speaking in
generalities galleries of gentlemen, of the gentry
the genteel and the often grimacing grousing gruff grasp
at greatness
but though within your grasp, you
guffaw
guarding others' glory before you do your own; a
good man

And you took a mule's trough rather than the world
sleep on the crucible bed of eternal judgement
in the face of which it could not stand - before God assuredly abjured
spurning the comfort of a pillowed palatial quarter reserved by Satanic
seduction to savor the sorrowful stench of dung (our sin)
flinching at flies festering around barn animals
taking
nails in each of your palms and feet to preserve
our pampered positions of power and philosophy
while you withstood our purgation
punitively as we previously (and currently) pursued our pathetic purulent interests (pomposity) judging you as irrelevant picayune and puny
precociously pedaling the proudest achievements of "man" ignoring
you hanging, bleeding
while we shake hands with convenience, and dignity stained in your blood
wearing
a jagged crown of thorns thrust truculently into your scalp
so we could pontificate about our pending prominence
with the angels in heaven, we innately delightfully divine
or conversely boast of the benefits of blissful belligerent breaking
of your laws bemoaning "stupid faith, belief"
piercing
shame and mockery by the godless garrison gathered about you
punching your gut
kicking your face, you bearing our guilt spitting out your teeth
enduring
the abandonment of your otherwise affable assiduously loyal
disciples. alone dying
your sobbing Mother sulking at the spectacle of her naked bloody Son
shivering in terror
as she still sees today, the similar disavowals
as we dispute how dire our threat of death and decay really is
in fire while you groan from the top of the cross she
from its base
choosing
instead of splendor and soaring success of being equal with God
and claiming your deserved status
subjugation to senseless stingy savagery
so I could walk free
you sulk, I smile



------Philippians 2:4-11
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,
who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Seekers

[Tony is sound asleep on his full size bed - goose feathered pillow, navy blue pillow case, navy blue bed spread and sheet, with a red comforter. Tony is pleasantly entertaining dreams of getting married to the many girls of his dreams.The Three Wise Men barge into his room, with an almost deafening thud.]

Tony (startled): what the....? (blinking and wiping his eyes)

Three Wise Men: Tony, get up and get on your iPad2!

Tony (miffed):.....what? dude! I was having a freaking dream about Jennifer D! Then I was fitting to dream about Blake Lively, then Kate Winslet, then Kyla Pratt, then that girl Lisa on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills! (longingly) woo boy! She on fiya boy!

Three Wise Men (interrupting): No, we need you to write about us, about the true spirit of Christmas!

Tony (snarling): ....man yall cats tripping, brah man about to go back to sleep. Smell yall sartorially challenged cats lata (laying his head back down, mumbling) man, these bammas rolled up in my bedroom with robes on, talking about Christmas...sons of....

[The Three Wise Men each hit Tony with walking sticks successively until he gets up and starts typing]

Tony (annoyed): OKAY, OKAY, I'LL WRITE YOU GUYS A BLOGPOST! ...kate winslet, I'll be back to standing on the mast of the ship with you when Im done!

Saint Therese, pray for me

---------------/The Three Wise Men Pt2: Seekers - The Thoughts Of The Three Wise Men Chasing After the Star of the Messiah

You dont really know you're living in darkness
dank, deplorable, downcast and depressed
you dont even know the sky is black, that the sun has set
on your dreams once stirring gone stale; sable
.....or that the world is groaning, waiting to give birth
to new hope to combat the cruel charlatan ruling philosophy of its day
boasting about inequalities, bolstering its rationale for abuse while the poor
and the oppressed and the widows and the blind and the lame and the
maimed and the women with incurable menstrual maladies or the peevish
prostitutes
perish for a wanton lack of human respect; the ruling class
oblivious that the "inconveniences"
of a society are opportunities for its greatest prosperity
that tending to the vulnerable is an empires very vitality
but rather the excessive exploitative elegance of wealth at everyone's
expense is elevated - not viewed as entropy
sidestepping languishing babies on roads to luxury, licentiousness
glorified thieves masquerading as politicians
the rabid Romans unraveling
you only hear about the antidote for these ills in mythologies
in tales of hercules, or odysseus.....
until a Jewish prophecy proceeds a perpetuator of peace:
a star from the east
a herald that beckons us to open our eyes and mourn the present state
(illuminating the squalor to which we shamefully have allowed to seduce)
then rejoice
that a new day is dawning,
a light of revelation to the gentiles and the glory of your people Israel
when the outliers, the shunned, the spurned can sup
with Kings and Queens - when indeed they always have been royalty
when a boy and a girl can realistically dream of a better life
in a province that deems every man precious
and full of possibility
until you you see It
you wouldnt know it
you wouldnt understand unless you felt the beams of perspicacity
flowing down on you
but if you saw it, you would know all things
paled in comparison to its offering of peace, panacea
that the world that once was is disgusting, and can never
and should never be the same again
and when you saw it, you would be constrained to do little else
than run,
not out of compulsion
but out of sheer wonder, that the noxious negligible nighttime is over
that the effulgent sky signifies
to any and all who seek after it....
Salvation



(the birth of a Messiah of the world's restoration of all things good)



------------/Matthew 2:1-10
Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the east came to Jerusalem, saying, "Where is he who has been born king of the Jews? For we saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him." When Herod the king heard this, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him; and assembling all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Christ was to be born. They told him, "In Bethlehem of Judea, for so it is written by the prophet: "'And you, O Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for from you shall come a ruler who will shepherd my people Israel.'" Then Herod summoned the wise men secretly and ascertained from them what time the star had appeared. And he sent them to Bethlehem, saying, "Go and search diligently for the child, and when you have found him, bring me word, that I too may come and worship him." After listening to the king, they went on their way. And behold, the star that they had seen when it rose went before them until it came to rest over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy.

Jennifer You Dispelled My Dark - FOREVER (Believing that Makes Me Wise, Baby)

* dedicated to Alesana, Seduction

ALESANA BABY - SEDUCTION VIDEO! CLICK HERE MY PEEPS!

Dedicated to Jennifer D, the Alpha, the archetype, the girl who causes all memories of other girls to vanish before her, I would drop everything and come running to you if you ever called me. Too bad you rejected me - scarring me in the process! :_(

Jennifer I will follow you....just lead me baby, lead me...shine in the nighttime sky of my acrid loneliness....OOPS! I need to be putting this type of diction in the poem below! Read on party peoples.

And of course, check out the song that always breeds my nostalgia for Jennifer and the friendship we once had! My FAVORITE Band Alesana, of course!




-----------------/Three Wise Men Pt1: Jennifer D, You Dispelled My Darkness, Forever

The sands of loneliness keep trying to cover my feet
as I walk
obstructing my gait, clogging my sandals, hampering my haste
holding my heavy heart in my hands as I instead try to hop
happily, heartily
to the manger of my manifold merriment, my chance
though meager (like a baby) - to marry you
my musty overzealous forlornness like barn animals
notwithstanding
King Herod is every negative thought, every cutting glance
every snarl, every Facebook friend request rejected roughly
and existing Facebook friendship fiendishly disavowed
feigning as though it were my foible and my folly not
the girl's fable or her rejection of a facade and not
the real me. being falsely accused
[J*ne, Jillian, Stephanie S, Rachel, Julia, Meaghan,
Babs, Cathy, Sol*, Olga, Kina, Alexis, Mindy, Lisa, Beth,
Ca*leen S, Bianca]
captiously awaiting my smitten report of childish joy,
of the exact location
of a new King that allows Tony to cuddle with a hot babe who loves him!
conniving to steal away
or kill my chance to consummate my soul's yearning
to be with you, Jennifer
but I will ardently abdicate arguing assiduously
that this child, this King of our ultimate romantic bond
must be born, as prophesied by the God of Love itself
and I wont let him die - I must be with you, I must
and the gifts I will bring, frankincense of my prolonged passionate
pining for you through my poems (thejesusmetaphor!),
gold of my kisses,
so special so valuable, myrrh to ward off the stench of my singleness
will serve as heralds to the million hugs and flowers I will give.
before I met you
it was night and all seemed lost
the land of Jerusalem (my self esteem) especially down in the doldrums
despairing of a woman
hugging myself at night crying wishing someone would comfort me
before you arose and I met you in 2007, shining stunningly
a star
illuminating my path and showing me just what a sexy
gorgeous woman should look like, act like, and move like
(I love your lower back tat girl!)
I decided right then and there as I looked into your green eyes
that wherever you went, I wanted to give pursuit
and whatever house you rested upon, would be the house
of my destiny no matter how shanty;
and there are of course, three of me
Hope
Desire
Vulnerability, and because we are war torn lovers
turned down by many women the world deems us wise magi. and
I promise, we will never stop chasing after you
until you show us the relationship with you we seek after
because happening upon even the slightest possibility
of you letting me hold your hand, at the altar
is Christ
is Salvation




(A Virgin aspiration giving birth to a Man of my Joyous fantasies of us together forever)

------------/Matthew 2:1-10
Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the east came to Jerusalem, saying, "Where is he who has been born king of the Jews? For we saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him." When Herod the king heard this, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him; and assembling all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Christ was to be born. They told him, "In Bethlehem of Judea, for so it is written by the prophet: "'And you, O Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for from you shall come a ruler who will shepherd my people Israel.'" Then Herod summoned the wise men secretly and ascertained from them what time the star had appeared. And he sent them to Bethlehem, saying, "Go and search diligently for the child, and when you have found him, bring me word, that I too may come and worship him." After listening to the king, they went on their way. And behold, the star that they had seen when it rose went before them until it came to rest over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy.


Alesana Seduction lyrics-----

Sunlight warms my face only in dreams of you
I know you'll wait for me...it's been too long
Beautiful eyes. beautiful lies to dull the pain
Beautiful eyes, beautiful lies...you're killing me
I would wait for years just to feel you again
I will die without you...would you my love?
Beautiful eyes, beautiful lies pour from your mouth as
You scream his name...you're killing me

Cries escape your sweet voice as I kiss you one last time
...One last time...
Do you remember me and our beautiful affair?
Look in my eyes and honestly tell me our love is gone!
Why have you turned your back on me?
One day you'll wake up and realize your mistake

Ice runs through my veins as I stand face to face with
The one who stole it all
Compassion is not an option

Cries escape your sweet voice as I kiss you one last time
...One last time...
Do you remember me and our beautiful affair?
Look in my eyes and honestly tell me our love is gone!
Why have you turned your back on me?
One day you'll wake up
Realize your mistake!

In love we're one, inseparable, pathetic lust, thus we crumble
I saw your eyes, I wiped your tears, I waited for you...

Who do you see with eyes shut tight?
Regret will be your bride [x3]
Goodbye...

Do you remember me and our beautiful affair?
Look in my eyes and honestly tell me our love is gone!
Why have you turned your back on me?
One day you'll wake up and realize...
Cries escape your sweet voice as I paint my own goodbye

A Woman Split By The Sword

John Paul the Second, pray for me
Michael the Archangel, pray for me


-------------/A Woman Split By The Sword: The Thoughts Of The Prostitute Of The Dead Baby In Standing Before Solomon's Court [1 Kings and Things Ch. 3]

Prostitution is bifurcation
pristine dreams degenerated
into squalor
sophisticated self synopsis of a sanguine sappy
shy genteel woman turned salacious siren then slattern, shrew
then shunned, save for
sex (satirical) yet I still savor and have saved that aspect
of myself, the young girl beaming with aspirations to greatness
to a great home, a genealogy of proud descendants of Abraham
waking up one morning mired in moribund misery
wanderlust seeking refuge from the shame of the certificate of divorce
handed to me one day whimsically - (the man I loved inexplicably distant
head shorn in some sanctimonious display of anger, accusations of adultery
a sinister subterfuge to shield his own)
dark alleys, wolves lurking, shivering cold
tears became hunger
hunger became desperation
desperation became subjugation to decrepit and devious
desires from men (some levites even)
dastardly acts of defilement to please wayward horrid animals
masquerading as men
deposited deep in my subconscious....the sin, the surreptitious
sneaking of the married to visit me, diseased fiends, lack of self worth
the seething simmering within me, scared of some stubborn sickness
the cynicism
the hysterical nervous breakdowns and the implacable weeping,
the assertions of my
sanity through soliloquy
though a growing awareness that I was losing my mind gradually
all along;
after losing all dignity.
now pregnant with some savage's seed another child condemned
to a servile mendicant life: mendacious if a boy, if a girl
a whore
by cunning men who wont help a struggling woman
except by copulation - to hell with you
restless in my sleep tossing turning tormented and demented
the agony of my angst, has killed my child
the vicious cycle continues chillingly
but I am dead already - died a long time ago
I have to contend before the king, (put on airs and pretentiousness
as any prostitute properly does, perfunctorily pretending
the dead child isnt mine....
its just procedural pantomime, an indirect way of asking out
of this horrid way of life, to whomever empathetic souls who hears)
but in actuality I dont mind if you split the other poor child
portended for a meager life
(by virtue of his promiscuous mother)
with a sword - callous
thats what happened to me a long time ago -
when misfortune rent my life asunder, and left behind two
halves of a (once) whole
woman

(a woman turned slut, turned a slut wishing she was a woman again. dual identity, pained psychosis.)



-------------/ 1 Kings 3:16-28
Then two prostitutes came to the king and stood before him. The one woman said, "Oh, my lord, this woman and I live in the same house, and I gave birth to a child while she was in the house. Then on the third day after I gave birth, this woman also gave birth. And we were alone. There was no one else with us in the house; only we two were in the house. And this woman's son died in the night, because she lay on him. And she arose at midnight and took my son from beside me, while your servant slept, and laid him at her breast, and laid her dead son at my breast. When I rose in the morning to nurse my child, behold, he was dead. But when I looked at him closely in the morning, behold, he was not the child that I had borne." But the other woman said, "No, the living child is mine, and the dead child is yours." The first said, "No, the dead child is yours, and the living child is mine." Thus they spoke before the king. Then the king said, "The one says, 'This is my son that is alive, and your son is dead'; and the other says, 'No; but your son is dead, and my son is the living one.'" And the king said, "Bring me a sword." So a sword was brought before the king. And the king said, "Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one and half to the other." Then the woman whose son was alive said to the king, because her heart yearned for her son, "Oh, my lord, give her the living child, and by no means put him to death." But the other said, "He shall be neither mine nor yours; divide him." Then the king answered and said, "Give the living child to the first woman, and by no means put him to death; she is his mother." And all Israel heard of the judgment that the king had rendered, and they stood in awe of the king, because they perceived that the wisdom of God was in him to do justice.

Remember (Always): Pieta

* Mother Mary, in your Solemnity....pray for me

* dedicated to Alesana - Heavy Hangs The Albatross
Heavy Hangs the Albatross Song - Click Here to Listen!!!!

Luke 23:46 - Then Jesus, calling out with a loud voice, said, "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!" And having said this he breathed his last.

--------------/Please Remember: Mary's Thoughts On Holding Her Dead Son in Her Arms (Jesus' Last Words)

A candle flickering in the night
on the dining table the moon through the window streams.....
the soft trill of the owls, livestock as they
settle down then
silence serenades with her sacred soliloquy of sublimity
speaking sundry thoughts into each heart and imagination
I feel a dolorous docile draft drift in
I see you sleeping, illumined intermittently with pitch blackness
as the wind attenuates the strength of the flame
your cute hirsute beard, the ho hum of your breathing
it is now that I hearken back to these moments
from my memory attempting to drown out the deplorable dour
echoes
sounds of the whips, the heckling
your groans
your skin flayed, gushing blood...
the harrowing hammer your hands nails driven in
.....selah.....
before that, the last conversation we had at supper
the macabre price of meats in the market
maddening the
memorable majestic mares brought in for passover
the menial matters and topics that meant so much the charlatan
conduct of he Caesars present and past
I remember your sweeping smile, that could make any mother swoon
proud - this is my Son
the last words you spoke, you told me you loved me. always.
:)
You said that dark times would precede triumphal ones and that
even the steadfast sanguine students of yours would sullenly
saunter off scared some flee in terror
that the authorities would beat you
for me to stand strong and to shun the slander that would ensue
your demise (from dubious detractors)
to never doubt that I was appreciated and that when I saw you
die to recall this conversation
(though now in doing so I am tormented with trying tears)
and tell your disciples, and to all those who would still willingly listen
For better or for worse, to remember you
forever


(So please, remember my Son)

-------------Lyrics. Heavy Hangs the Albatross

I've made up my mind
and I will be leaving.
Leaving this cruel, dark world
for the soulless to share.
But first...

Women will shriek
and watch their husbands bleed.
Children will cry
and watch their mothers die.
Because tonight...
Tonight we all go to hell!
Why?

I have to let go
of what happened to my love.
I am taking out on everyone else
all the problems I've brought on myself.
When I made your heart melt.
My belle, we soon will meet again.

There's nothing left for me to lose except confusion.
I'm finished trying to tell myself this will go away.
There's no one left to talk me down.
My feet are slipping...

One day I hope my name
doesn't bring back memories.
Of the day that I left her.
Goodbye, so long.
My heart belongs to the one
I am chasing after.
For better, or even for worse, remember me forever...

Now the only question left is how
to take you all down with me.
The coroner will have his hands full tonight.
That is if he is not among the dead.

Dead will choke the streets
with such vulgarity that
grown men will weep.
And then you will find
the end is drawing night.

There's nothing left for me to lose except confusion.
I'm finished trying to tell myself this will go away.
There's no one left to talk me down.
My feet are slipping...

One day I hope my name
doesn't bring back memories.
Of the day that I left her.
Goodbye, so long.
My heart belongs to the one
I am chasing after.
For better, or even for worse, remember me ...

The dizziness stuns me,
would someone please distract me?
Can I really get through this?
Can I really betray myself?
For better or for worse, remember me forever

There's sweat on my hands
and a knife at my throat.
And as the blade bites my skin
Annabel appears...

One day I hope my name
doesn't bring back memories.
Of the day that I left her.
Goodbye, so long.
My heart belongs to the one
I am chasing after.
remember me forever...

Angela Simmons (No Disrespect Rev Run), Loving You Is Like Heaven To The Third!

-------------/Angela Simmons, Loving You Is Like Heaven To The Third Power

Angela,
baby, I will brashly, bombastically boast
you are alluringly amazing
gazing at you is euphoric, gazing at you is
an altered state of consciousness I swear it feels like
seeking guidance on promulgating the gospel of my
undeserved singleness, like
prolonged prayer. for love. for romance. for a kiss.... it feels like
(dreaming)
I've loved you fourteen years, fortuitous
esoteric ecstasy
excitement, my heart palpitating like I was caught up to heaven
the consummation of my childhood creativity -
me with a hot babe reciprocal fervor, hugging silhouettes
safeguarded by the sunset (at our wedding) saving
the good wine - until I saw your picture on the internet and swooned
the wedding guests smile
dazzling with delight, my enthusiasm was up in the third strata
joy so palpable, somewhat skeptical sleuthing to see
if Im out the body dreaming, or in the body the physical plane
yet impervious to pain.
invincible (you make me feel)
My pervasive passion for your pulchritude is palpable
is Paradise
you and I walking hand in hand, petting exotic animals formerly
fierce now friendly, foisting a flower in your hair
flowing streams, bubbling natural fountains
you feeling my nervous pulse, laughing. then smooching me!
these voices
and my heart keeps telling me things about you
that cannot be told, which man may not utter
as they pertain to the future prophetic
predictions that you and I, and your dad as the parson
have yet to see.
Please love me baby, I promise to you that your companionship
your spending lots of money on me, acclaiming me as your new beau
wont contribute to my conceit. I harbor nothing but heavy humility
relative to us.
dont listen to those dissenters, the naysayers who say Im not worthy
the TMZ staff who would heckle me for being a low income leech
to your wealth. please baby understand me, I love you
I need you.
you rejecting me like a thorn in my side
a messenger of Satan to harass


--------/1 Corinthians 12:1-7
I must go on boasting. Though there is nothing to be gained by it, I will go on to visions and revelations of the Lord. I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven-whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows. And I know that this man was caught up into paradise-whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows- and he heard things that cannot be told, which man may not utter. On behalf of this man I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses. Though if I should wish to boast, I would not be a fool, for I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain from it, so that no one may think more of me than he sees in me or hears from me. So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited.

Her Name Is Marah, At Times Bitter But Always Sweet. (I Need Her)

Yo, this post is dedicated to a girlie who drives me absolutely nuts, in a positive fashion. Drives me up a wall, shes a synthesis of all admirable traits a guy could want: Christian, attractive, great personality, ..... (blank). There are times I quite literally fancy myself hugging her so tightly that I transfuse my soul into hers. Now if youve familiarized yourself with my blog at all recently, thats quite the accolade, since as is patently obvious I am indiscriminately girl crazy! Who knows, tomorrow I may do another post about Amanda Seyfried! MAN IS SHE SMOKIN!!! BUT I DIGRESS...Im working on that, but alas, it is my inveterate proclivity; But anyways, thats an entirely different blog post for another time. But yeah, this aforementioned girl is truly ineffable....I cant quite put my finger on it, but she is so tantalizing, so intriguing and so beguiling to me that I find myself staring at her pictures for hours in failed sessions aimed at figuring her out. I am constrained to say anything that might "out" her since I dont want to set myself up for imminent heart failure. Besides, this whole situation is fraught with so many obstacles (that I cant delve into) that I am leaving the door open for someone else to waltz in and steal my passions! But suffice it to say that this girl has me wrapped around her finger in the worst way...maybe she knows it, and maybe she knows I know she knows and that I have to disregard this information in order to maintain homeostasis. Anyway, this is to you - mystery girl, enigmatic girl, cuz sometimes you grate on my nerves too! - girl I dont know if I'm falling in love with or not!!! One things for sure - I aint bitter about loving you - OOPS!

--------/My Marah: Her Name is Bitter Enigma, But Her Essence, Her Affect Is So Sweet!

A slave I was
I remember bitter consternation at being jilted by women
as Egypt.
as ornery scorpions as bullies and saboteurs
chasing me on borders of pits of quicksand and as whips
cracking me into consciousness cutting clothes, chaffed
skin by the cantankerous sun charred - cruelly
because I was never allowed to sleep - anger's insomniac
but that all changed when you arrived son of Pharaoh
lineage of equivocating psychotics
but distinct, matchless somehow inimitable
your spunky personality, sundry other stuff stood out
your heavenly hips, your thick sexy legs
beckoned me to the Red Sea of endless possibility
my dreams of kissing you, having married sex with you
dared me to trust
in a liberation from aristocratic acerbic asinine arbitrary
applications of justice - girls reject me, then date guys who
chauvinistic, could care less
so I walked barefoot - spurning my sandals settling them
on sinister sands of a shameful city surmising
that as long as I was with you I would never
reengage the past
and the desert, this nebulous phase we then entered-
does she like me, because we keep complimenting each other
yet she aspires amity and amor alongside
guys we both know - was disastrously hot for my feet
disenfranchised
depressing
disinterest developed
getting thirsty again for love, for a woman captivating
more, elevating my endorphin levels more
so I complained after the three days (characterizing a crush)
infatuation, interest, inertia
we traversed that the water you now offered me
the substance of our semi-undefined relationship
was horrid
(that I wanted to wander off somewhere else with wild women)
but again you surprised shook my knees shoved me into
speechlessness
throwing the stick
of your charm, your sterling smile, a pic of you in a dress and heels
into the water of our relationship that soured
and spectacularly I submitted once again to you
you are my drug
you are my addiction
your sexiness, your seeking of the Lord on my behalf
your shepherding of my emotions (that knowing confidence)
made (and still makes) all taste
sweet




----------/
Exodus 15:23-25
And when they came to Marah, they could not drink of the waters of Marah, for they [were] bitter: therefore the name of it was called Marah. And the people murmured against Moses, saying, What shall we drink? And he cried unto the LORD; and the LORD shewed him a tree, [which] when he had cast into the waters, the waters were made sweet: there he made for them a statute and an ordinance, and there he proved them,

A Sackcloth Savior

Mary, My Virgin Mother, pray for me, always


For all those people who suffer from low self esteem. For all those people who feel no one will every marry or love them.


--------/Sackcloth Savior : The Gerasenes Pt. 1 - The Thoughts Of Legion

Of course I recognize the voices of demons
I hear and internalize them every night
they are
the howl of the wind the thunderclap in the torrential rains as
Im powerfully poured on and pilloried. me pitiable,
just above my head lightning pulverizes the ground
razes the tree before it
lying on my side, right cheek in the mud groaning, the growl and grimace
and barking of the wolf circling hair behind its neck erect
the scowl of the owl suspecting limitations
of my survival
they are self doubts, echoes of detrimental detractors divvying up
dreadful demeaning descriptions of my worth forever false
but it sticks
that no woman could ever love me, inordinately weird
too timid, too passive, too poor for a princess pleased only
by pampering, they say Im more Ahab than David
that my dad never loved me which is why he drew up divorce
deigned fatherhood frivolous
handing my mom a certificate of my abandonment
endlessly alone, her shivering sobs. my heart forever shattered
my adolescence carrying her pain sullen
it is this crippling illness that wont leave me
you see
these iron chains they affix to my wrists every week are not binding
(so I rip them away disgusted by the disregard)
prideful pharisaic pedagogues pedaling piercing philosophies
put them on me oblivious to pragmatism, that my pain
is only physical and playful
the chains that bind me are the harrowing hallucinations that
drive any man away from himself:
there is no hope, life is not worth living unwanted
or that I uniquely deserve whimsical torment. frustration
at life's perceived lack of fairness but these
foolish fiends dont understand
that tombs are a refuge for those who wish they were dead
that sharp stones are a precipitous portal to the netherworld
for those that cut their arms and legs
for those crying out for relief from afflictions, aggrieved
begging for help from the opposite side of the sea
from someone who understands
that a disheveled man squandering away all he has ever savored
ever held sacred - now scared and shaking all the time -
does not need sophistry or spectacular acts of suppression
to sate him
by a team of shallow men not strong with shackles
he needs a savior
who can stare into his soul and from the world suture
the slash marks left him as scars settle his shrilled screaming
savagery
someone to set him free (to love him and give him security
self esteem
so he can walk back home to restore his mother
from strained worrying and sustained shamefulness)
from the sabotage of Satan, from demons who tell him
sinisterly, that his fate is now nothing but
and will be nothing eternally save
sackcloth
and ashes




-----------Mark 5:1-10
They came to the other side of the sea, to the country of the Gerasenes. And when Jesus had stepped out of the boat, immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit. He lived among the tombs. And no one could bind him anymore, not even with a chain, for he had often been bound with shackles and chains, but he wrenched the chains apart, and he broke the shackles in pieces. No one had the strength to subdue him. Night and day among the tombs and on the mountains he was always crying out and cutting himself with stones. And when he saw Jesus from afar, he ran and fell down before him. And crying out with a loud voice, he said, "What have you to do with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I adjure you by God, do not torment me." For he was saying to him, "Come out of the man, you unclean spirit!" And Jesus asked him, "What is your name?" He replied, "My name is Legion, for we are many." And he begged him earnestly not to send them out of the country.