If I Was a Girl

*dedicated to my girl ********, come ON just give me a chance!




I wish I could be like you – a girl
because then
I would know what it meant when you smile and say hello
one day but
seem oblivious to me the next
to know what it is to be flattered from insignificant things
(like a compliment on the color of a shirt)
or bland words
to have fun smelling stuff....like flowers, and appreciate their beauty
vivid colors
yearning to meditate and be at peace with the world
and be wild and crazy all at the same time
to nurture in a moment and in a moment
suddenly tear someone asunder with just
the intonations of your voice
to actually cry real tears when I feel morose
instead of suppressing sundry emotions until they’re expressed
wrongly and require apologies
to lay on my stomach in the green grass and just “be”
and to derive contentment from that
and I know you want love
but you run from it when I offer it to you
and how am I to know if its too soon, if you don't
communicate these things to me - communicate at all!
but maybe you can sense that I know too much
and so you regale me with silence
but Im saying now that I don't understand
completely
and if you don't want me around then just make it clear
just ignore me forever, and allow me to pick up the shards of my
spirit obliterated
because I don't want to fall in love with someone
who just wishes I would leave her alone
I wish we spoke the same language
I wish I could be a girl like you – just for a day
so I could spare myself from heartbreak