*dedicated to Kill Hannah, Living in Misery
*dedicated to the Millers and the Massanutten crew, may this not be the last time we see each other? Like Paul’s affection for the Ephesian elders…so have I for you
And they all wept sore, and fell on Paul's neck, and kissed him, Sorrowing most of all for the words which he spake
-----------------------/The Ship That Docked At Massanutten Departs, To Ephesus from St. Paul (Me)
Not bad for a Jew riding on a ravenous rampage killing ‘pagans’,
before I met Jon and Caitlyn I was on a horse
before I went to Rainier Road
bloodshot methodical eyes, intractable blood
of the innocent pouring from my mouth
I was seeking the Gentile demons of my own past failures
my own fears of a community indifferent making me their exiled
the ethos of orthodoxy in my spirit hunting ‘traitors’ to the Pharisaical
penurious psychological preying impediment borne of pain
some self-inflicted, some by family and friends….
I stoned the Stephen of comforting thoughts that I was a person able to be loved
….but interrupted, the Massanutten cabin trip was a blinding light
falling backwards God speaks “why do you persecute me”
(by persecuting yourself) the Massanutten men and women: Ananias
leading me mercifully through darkness
making me realize that before I met Zach and Jason I was blind
that before I shared a room with Mauricio I was a foolhardy lout
that before I played taboo with Whitney, Sarah, Liz I was a savage
ever since, life has been miraculous curing (especially during our hike)
the dead (pessimism) have been raised demons (of ostracization)
cast out by Helen’s cheeriness. I was even bitten by the poisonous snake of the fear
that Yoly wouldn’t like me, yet unfazed through her friendship I walked off
together, you are Ephesian elders I never wanted to leave
I wished this past weekend would last forever
through your tolerance of me I have shown that you ought to support the weak
Miranda’s music was angelic eliciting sore weeping, it was my falling on your necks
begging you never to leave (and you falling on mine?)
When we left Luray caverns I knew deep down I was bound for Jerusalem
bound for Gaithersburg, perhaps never seeing your face again
to board a ship departing from your docks
(don’t let the wolves of divisiveness enter our flock
feed the church of our fellowship)
------------------Acts 20:16-38
For Paul had determined to sail by Ephesus, because he would not spend the time in Asia: for he hasted, if it were possible for him, to be at Jerusalem the day of Pentecost. And from Miletus he sent to Ephesus, and called the elders of the church. And when they were come to him, he said unto them, Ye know, from the first day that I came into Asia, after what manner I have been with you at all seasons, Serving the Lord with all humility of mind, and with many tears, and temptations, which befell me by the lying in wait of the Jews: And how I kept back nothing that was profitable unto you, but have shewed you, and have taught you publicly, and from house to house, Testifying both to the Jews, and also to the Greeks, repentance toward God, and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ. And now, behold, I go bound in the spirit unto Jerusalem, not knowing the things that shall befall me there: Save that the Holy Ghost witnesseth in every city, saying that bonds and afflictions abide me. But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy, and the ministry, which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God. And now, behold, I know that ye all, among whom I have gone preaching the kingdom of God, shall see my face no more. Wherefore I take you to record this day, that I am pure from the blood of all men. For I have not shunned to declare unto you all the counsel of God. Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood. For I know this, that after my departing shall grievous wolves enter in among you, not sparing the flock. Also of your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after them. Therefore watch, and remember, that by the space of three years I ceased not to warn every one night and day with tears. And now, brethren, I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among all them which are sanctified. I have coveted no man's silver, or gold, or apparel. Yea, ye yourselves know, that these hands have ministered unto my necessities, and to them that were with me. I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive. And when he had thus spoken, he kneeled down, and prayed with them all. And they all wept sore, and fell on Paul's neck, and kissed him, Sorrowing most of all for the words which he spake, that they should see his face no more. And they accompanied him unto the ship.
[Living in Misery lyrics, feat. Amanda Palmer of The Dresden Dolls]
Look through my eyes
And tell me just what do you see
Schools that look like factories
Slow dance to our own heartbeats
Look through my eyes
As missing children fill the streets
Joan of Arc and Josephine
You can hear them sing
We are living in misery, in misery, in misery
We are living in misery but we have to hold on
Yes we have to hold on
You and I
Will as sons and daughters of kings
I want to live for centuries
I want to see everything
Now you're one of us
So fall in love with tragedy
This is the tempo and the key
This is the song we have to sing
We are living in misery, in misery, in misery
We are living in misery but we have to hold on
Yes we have to hold on
Misery
Living in misery
[x2]
We are living in misery, in misery, in misery
We are living in misery but we have to hold on
Yes we have to hold on
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