Epitaph

St. Paul, pray for me

----------/Epitaph - Acts Chronicles 17: The Thoughts of Paul Before Addressing the People at Athens

You dont know what its like to hear them cry
bodies convulsing from stab wounds
horse hoof imprints on their calves, crushed - crass
callously naive
not wanting to know the humanity of my victims scorned
as I shoved them from the precipice of life to ignimonious death
recollecting my thoughts over wine to deaden my conscience further
drowning out the doleful dirge
the prating priest at the processions in proximity, the funeral
pyre. attempts at
erasing the explicit encounters from my mind, every eye
every hyperventilating gasp
fists clenching what I thought at the time were idols
miniature crucifixes
memorablila of merriment, offsetting the perilous preying
persecution I haunted and hunted them with
it was manslaughter
it was a massacre
it was a masquerade, ultimately and I was mislead
I was intent on destroying the only representation of hope
those Christians had before death,
ripping these wooden momentos from lifeless bosoms
jealous and selfrighteous trying to purge the world of filth
(perceived)
when I was filthy
when I see idols I see martyrs I made, maimed so badly their
families have no fitting memory of anything they made
magnality
I just want to make things right
Once.... I remember a comely Jewish girl
a friend of my brother's.....
asking me
before I left Jerusalem again, hell bent on heinous havoc
on my horse
heart set on destroying followers of Jesus
what madness within me could possibly misconstrue
malice and murder as piety proper
she asked me about love, and memories I would form
and sleep with, bed companions for the rest of my life
so, you know now,
I cant ask alcohol or strong drink to assuage anymore acute pain
(a vow upon my conversion)
a thorn in my side
the only redemptive measure I can take
is to mourn before every idol I see, and make sure
I honor its owner

(giving grace and life rather than cruelty and excoriation)

(the Gospel of Christ to ensure eternal life, disproving
specious hurtful, hopeless philosophies. I will honor their lives
by giving them spiritual life, preventing death. no one will die at my hands
ever again)


------------/
Acts 17:16-20
Now while Paul was waiting for them at Athens, his spirit was provoked within him as he saw that the city was full of idols. So he reasoned in the synagogue with the Jews and the devout persons, and in the marketplace every day with those who happened to be there. Some of the Epicurean and Stoic philosophers also conversed with him. And some said, "What does this babbler wish to say?" Others said, "He seems to be a preacher of foreign divinities"-because he was preaching Jesus and the resurrection. And they took him and brought him to the Areopagus, saying, "May we know what this new teaching is that you are presenting? For you bring some strange things to our ears. We wish to know therefore what these things mean."