If I Was a Girl

*dedicated to my girl ********, come ON just give me a chance!




I wish I could be like you – a girl
because then
I would know what it meant when you smile and say hello
one day but
seem oblivious to me the next
to know what it is to be flattered from insignificant things
(like a compliment on the color of a shirt)
or bland words
to have fun smelling stuff....like flowers, and appreciate their beauty
vivid colors
yearning to meditate and be at peace with the world
and be wild and crazy all at the same time
to nurture in a moment and in a moment
suddenly tear someone asunder with just
the intonations of your voice
to actually cry real tears when I feel morose
instead of suppressing sundry emotions until they’re expressed
wrongly and require apologies
to lay on my stomach in the green grass and just “be”
and to derive contentment from that
and I know you want love
but you run from it when I offer it to you
and how am I to know if its too soon, if you don't
communicate these things to me - communicate at all!
but maybe you can sense that I know too much
and so you regale me with silence
but Im saying now that I don't understand
completely
and if you don't want me around then just make it clear
just ignore me forever, and allow me to pick up the shards of my
spirit obliterated
because I don't want to fall in love with someone
who just wishes I would leave her alone
I wish we spoke the same language
I wish I could be a girl like you – just for a day
so I could spare myself from heartbreak

You Are My Moses, ***e ****

[dedicated to ***e ****]


-----------Moses

I am groaning
being alone feels like a whip flaying my back
yet again
reopening old scars from a past life
being apart from you is akin
to the agony of blood profusely pouring as my skin peels
women and children watch from afar and cringe
as singleness curls its lips like an Egyptian task master
and snarls
I go in and out of consciousness as the scorching dessert winds
blow sand over my limp body
at the base of the pyramid I was told to build
one with bricks made of pure angst and discontent
mixed with my tears baptized under the glow of the moon
I want to get out of this horrid land of the uncherished
the unhugged the unloved
so my heart can heal and stop languishing
this land of wanting a woman to hold but being refused
of holding love's cup to my mouth, only to drink
the urine of donkeys I used to carry my workload of shame
assisting me in my futile attempts to outwork the writhing
of my soul – without you ***e
without a girl, without a helpmate
and what separates us (and marriage)
except the vast Red Sea?
I would love you there, and kiss you from head to toe
I would hold you until you fell asleep in my arms
every night
in tents made of skins of goats (of security)
not exposed and uncovered and on beds of the wasteland floor
(preyed on by lions of uncertainty)
may your love be to me like ten plagues of vengeance
for all the nights I spent in solitude
harassing my callous lords of disconsolation
abandonment
comfortlessness
and make the sea stand up like a wall
riven down the middle so we both can pass through
and enter Canaan
as the waves forever crash down on these assailants

(the land of the newly wed, girl)

The Convo

[Setting: Office Building, Elevator Lobby. Room is furnished with green carpets, white walls and illuminated above by 4 sets of tube lights with square grating. Elevators shafts are located on both the east and west sides of the hall and a mounted flat screen tv is located on the north wall just to the left of the men’s bathroom cordoned from the lobby by glass doors with mandatory keycode access. Posters detailing upcoming activities adorn the sections of the wall between each elevator shaft above the service buttons. Glass doors accessing the main office are on the south side on the room, the side from which Tony entered. Tony is staring at the floor wistfully, ridden with angst due to unfulfilled longings for a girl he met not so long ago. Suddenly Jesus appears, wearing traditional Jewish garb dating back to the 1st century – long robe, sandals, and a rope around his waist serving as a defacto belt. Jesus has a ruddy complexion, full beard and brown shoulder length hair. His appearance is effervescent, emitting a pure glow as from light refracted off a white crystal ]

Director: Cue sad music with violins

Jesus: I need you to let go

[Tony is startled and moves to shield his eyes from the light]

Tony: What the......? Let go? Whatchu talking bout Willis? Who dat?

Jesus: Jesus Christ the Most High, Son of God come in the flesh and coming again to judge the world

Tony:.......word? Well, look son, what you mean let go, let go of what?

Jesus: Let go of your forcible desire to procure a relationship. Your preoccupation with such

Tony: I cant let go, I cant. I don’t want to fathom a world without love, to even entertain that macabre possibility. I have to fall in love with someone – and someone HAS to fall in love with me! There is no alternative, this is the only path for life, life in its purest form; Life in its totality.

Jesus: What about those for whom life is cut short, those widowed, those celibate for the sake of the Gospel of my Kingdom, those who never marry for divers reasons?

Tony: .......

Jesus: Do these have a substandard or qualitatively inferior life than that which you aspire to? Have these never lived? Will they die unfulfilled? Is their life without purpose?

Tony: now I aint say all that son! I mean, they can do what they do you know what Im saying.....but Im just saying for me, I just need a wife! Understand?

Jesus: I understand that you are clinging so tightly to your myopic perspective of love that it has skewed all objectivity. This is dangerously close to becoming an idol for you, my child.

Tony: Everyone wants love, it’s instinctual!

Jesus: But to pursue this desire, any desire to the exclusion of all else is a recipe for disappointment. I have created life with many facets, and love (especially erotic love) is just one of them. Another facet is service to your fellow neighbor, another piety, another producing works to aid in usefulness in society, and another is education, another upholding justice and caring for the poor. These are all values and ethics that I have given you a natural desire for as well. What of these?

Tony: Im saying dough, Imma get to that once you give me that fine woman I've been praying about!

Jesus: And this is precisely what I just referred to. You are losing touch with sensibility, Tony. You must see that failure to live a well rounded life in pursuit of virtues will automatically disqualify you from attaining a wife. You cant get a wife if you don't have a basic understanding of virtues and the proper role of love in betwixt all of these.

Tony: NAH SON, NAH!! WHAT YOU SAYIN SON? WHAT YOU SAYING SON? HUH

[Tony begins to lunge at Jesus, but Jesus raises his hand and renders Tony motionless]

Jesus: Tony, a woman will be repulsed by a man who cannot contribute utilitarian value to society, hold a job, or provide proper discipline and tutelage to his child. A man who cant balance a checkbook, who brazenly overlooks opportunities to work, or administer fairness in this world, a man who lacks piety –if you seek a woman after my heart.

[Jesus holds his hand up again, allowing Tony to speak]

Tony: But I don't get it, I didn’t say I didn't want to be an all around good dude, dawg.

Jesus: But you didn’t say you did, either.

Tony: What are you saying?

Jesus: Focus on me, focus on being a better man. Trust me, I know how badly you want to get married. I know how badly you want passionate, sensual, nurturing love.

Tony: ......

Jesus: But you wont be able to appreciate that love if you don't work on actualizing all the potential as man I imbued you with. Be the man I called you to be. Get active in church, practice honesty, integrity, and service to the poor. Discipline your flesh, abstain from sinful behavior.

Tony: .....

Jesus: Then, and only then will you be at peace with yourself. You will achieve the peace I always intended for you to have as a righteous man. And that peace will be so evident that it will attract people to you that you never even knew existed.

Tony: But why cant I want love the way I want it now? Is that so bad?

[An angel of the Lord appears with his sword raised (invisible to Tony), intent on killing Tony for his disregard of Jesus’ previous words. But Jesus stays his sword and the angel departs]

Jesus: Because of your anxiety. It shows you don’t trust me, it shows you don't trust yourself. And no one wants to be with someone that doesn’t trust themselves, or have any direction or accomplishments.

Tony: What do you want me to do?

Jesus: Let go, and trust me. Trust that I have fashioned a special help-mate (before the world was created) for you that will be revealed in my timing. That I have taken over the reins of the match-making buggy of your life and you can just focus your energy on being a decent guy.

Tony: But what if I cant do that?
[Jesus disappears]

Tony: HEY, HEY BUDDY!!!! WHAT IF I CANT DO THAT? HEEEEEEEEEEY!! JESSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS? COME BACK HERE BUDDY!!
HEY, HEY!!!

[END]

Big Brother (no, not UK or US)- Perspective 1, Prodigal Son Saga

"But he was angry and would not go in...."


-------------/The Elder Son: The Thoughts of the Prodigal Son's Brother/

And I want to waste my life on riotous living (too)
endlessly
wallow in the mud with hedonistic swine
my heart enticed by the propositions of a seductress
(eyeliner, make-up and gaudy jewelry) with fragrant perfume
drinking wine at a remote shanty inn
beneath the full moon beset by surreptitious dark grey clouds
wooden tables dried muck in my hair as she whispers
soft iniquities in my ear – and her soft lips kiss mine,
oblivious to the filth from the pigs; we'd be
impervious to all concerns until morning I pray never comes
anything is more favorable than this drudgery
year after year
plowing, harvesting and planting wheat
(bugs flying in everyone's mouth)
shackled to the searing sun that makes forearms black
as hour upon hour passes and sweat seeps into my clothing
rancid like rotted flesh –sleeping long enough to let them dry
before this cruel cycle commences another day....
because threshing is not romantic
watching sheep, picking up after cattle is not gratifying
unnoticed , underappreciated and joyless
in the fields nameless and faceless – day in and day out
doing the work that no one dares by choice
and indubitably
with no grandiose fete ever mentioned;
not even a choice goat.
and if I randomly ran off
took your inheritance and tossed it to the wind
recklessly
heeding only a famine's call to come back
before I showed any pathetic hint of contrition
would you kill the fatted calf
would you forgive me too?


------
Luke 15:11-32
Then He said: "A certain man had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, 'Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.' So he divided to them his livelihood. And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living. But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want. Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything. "But when he came to himself, he said, 'How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants."' "And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.' "But the father said to his servants, 'Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry. “Now his older son was in the field. And as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said to him, 'Your brother has come, and because he has received him safe and sound, your father has killed the fatted calf.' "But he was angry and would not go in. Therefore his father came out and pleaded with him. So he answered and said to his father, 'Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends. But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf for him.’ "And he said to him, 'Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours. It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.'"

Just Give Me a Fair Shake, Please. Dont Crucify Me, Girl

* dedicated to *a**

-------------------/

I am determined for you to know who I am
the real me
not some impostor
baby, don't judge me wrongly -please

don't drag me before the Sanhedrin,
false accusations hurled
Thursday night into Friday morning misunderstood and
mischaracterized by my sinister fellow Jews and
pompous priests tearing their clothing
punched, mocked, and spat on in the face
by the temple guard of your apprehensions
I want to love you – for you
not to be indulgent, or profligate or chained in a cell
like a criminal awaiting trial unable to sleep on the cold stone
floors of the prison cell with rusty bars and shackles fastened too tightly
musty smells and rat shrieks
and when the sun rises on the face of Pontius Pilate
I am completely unaware enveloped in darkness but led away
to your judicial conscience like a governor of a Roman province
given authority to kill (the only chance I have to convince you
to fall in love with me) or insouciantly dismiss me to
the lesser standards of your discriminating friends like Herod Antipas
lecherous and depraved, overly concerned with themselves
even at the expense of the innocent. Killing senselessly (like father like son)
trying to take any feelings of affection you may have for me away
especially if it means the judgment will be rendered by your own hands
even if initially they find me amusing
....and so they want you to flog me and send me to my death
even though you don't know the whole truth yet about me
You don't know that my love for you would be dazzling, and that
I would be your knight in shining armor riding on the clouds
in the glory of the heavenly realms of you and me together
the crown of thorns, however you want to give me is not
the crown I hoped for
and the whips cracked on my back would not be the treatment
I envisioned receiving from the future love of my life
not being with you would be too heavy for me to bear
Simon of Cyrene would have to carry my cross along the way at least partly
before I was spit on again by the cruel realization of you with someone else
hoisted in the air
hanging by rutted nails hammered through my skin
and jagged wood splintering my raw back
between two thieves of hope – despair and depression
and even so I would obstinately believe you didn't know
what you were doing all along ---and I would ultimately forgive you
though in the end, it would kill me

So please just give me a fair shake, *a**
let me show you that Im a normal guy – who
just likes to be expressive. I wouldn't hurt you
I would actually be very tender with your emotions
Just give me that chance, girl

Im Definitely Crushing On Someone

I never breathed
or slept
or ate before
I met you, life was fret and stale air and fasting
and I don’t really know you but
I don’t want to know what life is like without you
because I cant and wont stop musing on
what you look like, and the sound of your voice
and your taste in music
because my death is your reproach
of me
all I want is for you to kiss me (when we're married)
and hold me – and stare into my eyes, fondly
whispering those three words teary eyed
because you are like my paint brush
on the canvas of my soul with bright pastels
I create vivid portraits of our life together (when I close my eyes)
I get weak in the knees, my arms are flaccid
In your presence....I just want to bow before you and gush
about your beauty (and your sexiness)
and dote on you
my head on your knees
and there are a million reasons why this wont work
slander, libelous rumors about me
failings in my past pursuits in seeking love
maybe your age, maybe impetuosity, maybe haste
maybe naiveté, maybe ignorance
maybe another guy
but I want to be that guy, and I want you to be able to pardon
my past sins, for wanting love so bad
because love is the pinnacle of all being
that everyone desires - not just me. when you fall in love
everything else halts
and your suspended in the air
I drove home today after the storm and I witnessed the clouds
like a sculpture against the backdrop of the orange setting sun
awe-inspiring
and that is what love is, and that is what I want from you
and everything you hate about me I want to hate too
if that means we can be together
I can change, I can wait, I can be another person
I can renounce my worth
I just don't want you to impale me with the piercing arrows
of rejection
because you make me so vulnerable
when I first saw you, you liberated me
from the prison of hopelessness and ennui
Honestly,
I don’t even know what Im saying to you
I just want to somehow express that I want you
and that I don't want to miss the opportunity to let you know
that I think youre a special girl
and that I want to be special to you too
I have a crush on you




And Michal, Saul's daughter, loved David: and they told Saul, and the thing pleased him – 1 Samuel 18:20

Special Shout Out

Yo, yo, yo son! I gotta dedicate this next post to *Jay* dawg! This girl is a beast, son. She is like, perfect in every way son.... Im not saying homegirl is my future wifey, but dawg I cant stop thinking about this breezy! I cant give away too many identifiers but the girl is the bomb son. I dont really know her all that well, but lets just say Im smitten. Chances are she may not be interested in me, but you never know whodi!! Right???

I mean look, thejesusmetaphor is paid* to write, right? I gotta express myself like a true Christian poet... I cant keep it in any longer, ya dig?

Is it a crime to want to fall in love? I mean, I want it so badly! So sue me for attempting, no matter how madcap to find the best thing God created between a man and a woman - LOVE!

Anyway, read on peeps, and keep ol' girl with the bl.... eehhhhh I cant give anymore away!

PEACE!!!

You Are My Chariot of Amminadib

I went down to the garden of nuts to see the verdure of the valley, to see whether the vine had budded and the pomegranates had bloomed. Before I was even aware, my soul had made me as the chariots of my noble people. (Song of Solomon 6:11-12)

[[or v12 can be translated as – "or ever I was aware, my soul made me like the chariots of Amminadib"]]

-----------------------------------------Song of Solomon Saga Chapter 6: My Chariot of Amminadib

I think I may never fall in love again
for no other woman is your equal
I used to stare at my reflection in pools at night
and see morose
barely able to walk
barely able to traverse from despair to apathy
apathy to lethargy, lethargy to tepid indifference
and without you in my life I was reticent
to merely lift my eyes to the sun
fearful that light would reveal my plight
and evanesce
and leave me in darkness
twice – my heart and my eyes
but now, you are my incandescent glow
my candle, fire in dark places of my soul
at the bleakest of hours
you are resurrection from death
I went down to the garden of nuts, (the crossroads of my hopes and dreams)
to see the verdure of the valley
to see if the pomegranates of my desire for you
had bloomed
that’s when you smiled at me
and before I was even aware
you made me spry
I jump for joy, I outrun doubt and discouragement
before they even know I left
I ride my aspiration like I have reins in my hands
and two horses: glee, and excitement
that wont slow down
you make me feel noble
like I have never have before
falling for you is like sitting inside a chariot
rejoicing with silent tears

Sleep While Yearning

* To my future wife.....(maybe I'll meet you before this Saga ends?!)

[dedicated to this girl *, who I want badly - please dont run from me!]

I sleep, but my heart is awake; it is the voice of my beloved! He knocks, saying, "open for me, my sister, my love, my dove, my perfect one; for my head is covered with dew, my locks with the drops of the night." I have taken off my robe; how can I put it on again? I have washed my feet; how can I defile them? My beloved put his hand by the latch of the door, and my heart yearned for him. (Song of Solomon 5:2-4)

----------------------Song of Solomon Saga Chapter 5: Sleep While Yearning


Life is anguish
in the silence you leave behind in your wake
you are my perfect one
your face stains the walls, irreversibly
your voice reverberates in every room I occupy;
your memories have become family, the closest of kin
every night, at the hour my lovelorn pain is most acute
rain falls steadily into downpour
as I stare out the open windows. hoping for your return
-that the moon would illuminate your road home-
I am sad because I cant clasp your facial expressions tightly
an embrace
in my mind, or encapsulate your most recent laughter
for my daydreaming
I want you to get your hair wet for me: remove your distrust,
that hermetic, stoic, misanthropic robe
and wash your feet from the dusty paths of fear of commitment
because once you fall in love with me
you will never be able to defile them, or clothe yourself again
nakedness and vulnerability
I wish you would put your hand on the latch of my door
because you know I would never bar your entry
my ears would never spurn your words "open for me, my love"
I close my eyes as the shadows fall and think of you without cease
until the morning sun taps me and says you still aren't here
I never sleep
I need you by me
my heart yearns for you, always

You are Honey, You Always Will Be

* To my future wife.....(maybe I'll meet you before this Saga ends?!)

You have ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse; you have ravished my heart with one look of your eyes, with one link of your necklace. How fair is your love, my sister, my spouse! How much better than wine is your love, and the scent of your perfumes than all spices! Your lips, O my spouse, drip as the honeycomb; Honey and milk are under your tongue; and the fragrance of your garments Is like the fragrance of Lebanon. (Song of Solomon 4:9-11)

----------------------------/Song of Solomon Saga Chapter 4: Honey

You are bedazzling
I remember you had this necklace on when last we spoke
not too long ago
I was tentative, fumbling for words
because falling for you so fast is scary
exhilarating
you have ravished my heart with one look of your eyes,
with one link of your necklace
and all I want is to keep pace with you
praying secretly that you wont leave me behind – (like
so many before you)....trying to ward off intoxication:
being around you is like inebriation induced by the finest of drinks
yet I surmise much better than wine is your love
I want to drink
for the rest of my life reclining on your lap
running my fingers across your lips
as your words pour forth like milk and honey
nourishing my soul and indulging my fantasies sweet
your clothes smell like Lebanon, pleasant, glorious
like a sister to my Jerusalem, like a sister
....with love fair, with love beautiful
so let me be your brother
your beau
your spouse
your friend
and allow me finally to sleep –
because without you my body is of rest bereft
and my eyes constantly shed tears
realizing without you my life is forever altered and incomplete
(screaming out your name)
You have ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse

(Everything is different now)

Your Love Makes My Fears Disappear

* To my future wife.....(maybe I'll meet you before this Saga ends?!)

Who is this coming out of the wilderness like pillars of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, with all the merchant's fragrant powders? Behold, it is Solomon's couch, with sixty valiant men around it, of the valiant of Israel. They all hold swords, being expert in war. Every man has his sword on his thigh because of fear in the night. (Song of Songs 3:6-8)

-------------Song of Solomon Saga Chapter 3: Your Love Makes My Fears Disappear

When I first laid eyes on you - I knew
it was the end of all melancholy
my heart contracted
breath shortened, hands trembled, mouth stood agape
silence draped my consciousness
as if I was suspended between celestial lands
and a vivid dream
that I’ve been praying for since I was a boy
your presence metamorphosed my perceptions
of who I was, am, and are to be – mysterious and dazzling
like pillars of smoke, coming out of the wilderness of my time lost
spent shedding tears on the barren plains, rocks, and dessert shrubs
of anticipatory love, chasing after falling stars hoping
because facing you makes everything about me suddenly aromatic
my fate jovial perfumed with the myrrh and frankincense
of a future life well lived, and filled with your tender embraces
you are royalty
my soul's luminary
reclined on a couch of my most sacred hopes
cherished and guarded by my desires and intentions
and affections and kisses
like sixty valiant men with sharp swords
(on their thighs)
expert in war
trained in the art of never letting you go
because I will never be lonely again
and never need solace from those
who cant comfort me in the special way you can
allaying my consternation about being unloved
who cant hold me close and keep me warm
because of fear in the night



(You are my morning, my sun, my new day)

So Long Bitter Winter

* To my future wife.....(maybe I'll meet you before this Saga ends?!)

"Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. The fig tree puts forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grapes give a good smell. Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away! (Song of Solomon 2:10b-13)

--------------The Song of Solomon Saga Chapter 2: So Long Bitter Winter


Snowflakes would fall every time I called your name
and you didn't answer
my brumal shrills echoed
dislodging snow from tree limbs - and wolves shuddered
I would submerge myself, weeping, in the white blanket
of isolation you left behind in my frost bitten heart
needing someone so badly yet left wanting
frigid memories and ice cold rain

But that was a different epoch and ethos
before I knew your beauty, and the warmth of your smile
you are my sun
shining brightly vivifying my confidence - the singing in my soul
the notion of us together, holding hands comforts me
like flowers do
it is the voice of turtledoves in the land
flying overhead (landing on our fingers) as we sit on grassy knolls and
feed each other green figs
of never experiencing disconsolation again
of never having a tear stream down our cheeks completely
before a supporting thumb from our beloved
wipes the streams of feeling forsaken from our eyes
Feed me grapes, with a good smell,
of your tender presence, my love
come close to me and inhale my breath
(knowing my breathing will stop if you ever leave)
rise up and come away with me
forever in love,
so that the storm clouds never again overtake our gait
so that it never gets cold again
Spring

(My) Cold Sweats Of the Solitary

* To my future wife....(maybe I’ll meet you before this Saga ends?!)

Tell me, O you whom I love,
Where you feed your flock,
Where you make it rest at noon.
For why should I be as one who veils herself
By the flocks of your companions? (Song of Solomon 1:7)

--------------------Song of Solomon Saga Chapter 1/ Cold Sweats Of The Solitary

[[[[Tell me, O you whom I love, Where you feed your flock, Where you make it rest at noon.]]]]


I imagine us
in a waterfront dining district
some swanky metropolis
entering a posh restaurant overlooking
tributaries that flow through the city into the nearest sea
its current flows steadily under the gaze of the full moon
bathed in an alabaster glow
cloudless sky, balmy night
our table is in an alcove with windows closest to water’s ledge
white table cloth, white flowers (white vase), white napkins
(red candles)
peering down we can see ourselves reflected
though distorted in the small ripples
and I stare into your eyes
red skinny tie, skinny jeans, grey blazer
red chucks
you in a white summer dress, flattering
with white sandals
I want to reach out and tenderly place
your stray hair strands behind your ear...
but then I awake
alone in my bed, sweating....my room heater inducing
sweltering heat, (yet my soul is coldly detached)
heart pulsating frenetically
forlorn blood throughout my forlorn veins
by now I've forgotten what your face looks like
realizing that ineffable comfort I felt
was a mere phantom
just wishing you would tell me, my love
where I can find you
so these bitter pangs of loneliness can finally cease…

[[[For why should I be as one who veils himself
By the flocks of your companions? ]]]

A Martyr's Salute

When they heard these things they were cut to the heart, and they gnashed at him with their teeth. But he, being full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God, and said, "Look! I see the heavens opened and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God!” Then they cried out with a loud voice, stopped their ears, and ran at him with one accord; and they cast him out of the city and stoned him. And the witnesses laid down their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul. And they stoned Stephen as he was calling on God and saying, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." Then he knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, "Lord, do not charge them with this sin." And when he had said this, he fell asleep. Acts 7:54-60


--------Acts Chronicles Chapter 7: Jesus Stood- The Thoughts Of Jesus Upon Seeing Stephen Stoned

Certain things in life cut to the heart
and make you gnash your teeth together
like being unfaithful to a spouse, or
the proclivity to tell a lie as opposed to truth
or even exploiting the innocent for trivial gain
pilfering the last morsel of food from an invalid’s table
(by overtaxing and underpaying)
murdering the innocent, smirking at your reflection in his blood
as you shirk off underneath the glow of the moon
and yet life is rife with these sorts of phenomena
especially Jerusalem, even whilst Romans rule
Jewish citizens living dissolute lives
hearts wandering from the Messiah they so often lobby for
and so you pick-up stones
to quell the anger, the remorse and the shame
from spurning your heritage and worshipping
false gods of man-made customs and contrived rituals
substitutes for the innocent wonder
that accompanied our fathers' in the desert
as the red sea parted for us – yet drowned our enemies
thinking that death will silence the internal critics
within your consciousness (it wont)
but I can see the clouds cleave
and a new generation, a new epoch
nascent but with firm roots afoot
flourishing and displacing the old corrupt nature
nullifying the effects lingering from Eden
people who believe in hope rather than despair,
and would die for justice rather than take bribes
even amidst an onslaught of slander
with forgiveness in their hearts
for vile men


(I stand and salute this generation)
http://www.soaringspider.com/HeStoodUp.php