A Toast To My Accuser

Dedicated to Kanye West, Runaway
Dedicated to Jesus Christ


(before you read this just you just gotta dance by yourself with a glass raised head tilted towards the starlit sky....now close your eyes and drink.....)


Ive been up for the past few nights poring over your accusations against me, and admittedly its eating me up inside. I can barely eat without losing myself in thought and becoming detached from reality. I cant believe this is happening to me, but ironically I expect this. In the creative arts there is always an allowance for creative differences or dislike of the art, yet I am astounded at the acrimonious nature of these claims and the gravity of the penalty. All I have ever wanted to do is share the talent and the soul that God gave me in order to bring light to the scriptures in the Bible (John 16:29 His disciples said, "Look, now you are speaking plainly and not in metaphors!" – hence thejesusmetaphor – wooooo!) whether it be through existential moments of life in the skin of Biblical characters or using the Bible as a prism for my myriad emotions, which entail everything from love, lust, anger, joy, worship, humor, etc. In short, I only write to express myself – not to make veiled threats, explicit threats or to intentionally harm anyone. If anyone is hurt, it is me and if Im trying to break someone, Im trying to break myself. With over 300 posts, I hardly think you alone are any target of harassment or anything of that nature. You are just one thread in the larger tapestry of my poetic life – and I am offended you would suggest anything less.

What do you want from me? Why do people fall in love (not you specifically okay? Just a general question) Why do men write things about girls that steal their breath away? Its natural, its unavoidable and its visceral, not menacing or frightening or scary. If I feel a surge of emotion no matter how often or not, I try to find a way to transcribe it- simply put nothing else. Am I harassing celebrities too? Am I harassing Biblical characters because I write about them? Am I harassing Jesus? If you want to fault me – fault me for falling for you and developing a crush on you okay?

But I know – that doesn't matter to you. You want to demonize me and this blog, though such attempts will certainly falter....I will never stop writing and creating poetry – whether on this blog or in my soul, so I apologize for your imminent failure in that regard. I will keep writing about whatever comes to my mind okay? I need this, this is all I have at the end of the day – and I will not let you wrest it from me. Who's harassing who now? Your accusations are harassing me now - and I cant elude them.

But you know, Jesus was misunderstood as well. He journeyed from village to village pouring out his soul to help people before they wrongly accused him of evil. Resultantly, understandably pained, he only spoke to them in parables so they wouldn't understand what he said. And Kanye, sure what he did at the MTV awards was misunderstood and perhaps abrasively done but should he rot in hell forever? Should he be castigated henceforth and forevermore?

I get it.....you think Im some sort of predator and you want me eradicated from this world huh? Look at you, that's what I keep telling myself as I look in the mirror. Do I want my kids to say Dad was once accused of sexual harassment - but I guess its too late huh? What did I do to evoke your ire? Is it my fervor of emotion because I had such a large crush on you for that time? Will I be the only man to ever feel this way for you from now on? Will they be harassing you for having these feelings too? Are you singling me out because Im a writer? Isnt a writer burdened by pent up feelings, isn't he/she constrained to write? I haven’t talked to you in eons, nor made any contact with you....all Ive been doing is writing in this "God-forsaken blog" in your eyes.

I guess that makes me a douchebag. I have a plan okay? Maybe pretend I don't exist, don’t read my blog – no one forces you to be on here (I don't coerce your viewing or notify you of updates). Maybe, just runaway from even the thought of me.

Maybe Im a douchebag, have a toast for me. And if Im not good at writing, and if my writing scares you into thinking I want to hurt you, then I apologize cause I am not trying to hurt anyone okay? I just want to write – about celebrities, about real people, about Obama, about Blake Lively, about the Apostle Peter, Paul, Prophet Jeremiah, etc okay?

Is that okay? Or do you just want me to runaway? Just runaway?

Where do you want me to go? Im sorry that I want to fall in love so badly okay? Im sorry I am such a hopeless romantic that I over exaggerate on mundane experiences with strong romantic language.

This sort of makes me distrust women – but no, I will never stop longingly, desperately, wanting to find my wife.

And nor will I stop wanting to translate my everyday experiences into Biblical metaphors. I am thejesusmetaphor – after all, and have been so for almost 10 years. Why should I stop now?

Have a toast for me, and all the pain Im going through right now. May the alcohol anesthetize all the hurt you want to happen to me for being such a douchebag....
Proverbs 31:6-7
Give strong drink to him who is perishing,
And wine to him whose life is bitter.
Let him drink and forget his poverty
And remember his trouble no more.


Come on Kanye, lets have a toast, dawg. I mean, how do you even know Im writing about you and not someone else with your name? Ahhhh forget it.....


-----------------------//RUNAWAY LYRICS
(SAMPLE)
Look at ya
Look at ya
Look at ya
Look at ya
Look at ya

(CHORUS)
And I always find, yeah, I always find something wrong
You been puttin' up wit' my * just way too long
I'm so gifted at findin' what I don't like the most
So I think it's time for us to have a toast

Let's have a toast for the douche-bags,
Let's have a toast for the *holes,
Let's have a toast for the scumbags,
Every one of them that I know
Let's have a toast to the j*
That'll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can

She find pictures in my email
I sent this girl a picture of my *
I don't know what it is with females
But I'm not too good at that, *
See, I could have me a good girl
And still be addicted to them hoodrats
And I just blame everything on you
At least you know that's what I'm good at

And I always find, yeah, I always find
yeah, I always find something wrong
You been puttin' up wit' my * just way too long
I'm so gifted at findin' what I don't like the most
So I think it's time for us to have a toast
Let's have a toast for the douche-bags,
Let's have a toast for the *holes,
Let's have a toast for the scumbags,
Every one of them that I know
Let's have a toast to the j*
That'll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can

Runaway from it baby.....
runaway......
runaway from me baby
Run away........
(now if starts to gets crazy)...just run away
(baby i gotta plan)...runaway as fast as you can
runaway from it baby
runaway
runaway from me baby
runaway
(now if starts to get crazy) why cant she just run away
(baby I got a plan)…. just run away fast as you can

24/7, 365, * stays on my mind
I-I-I-I did it, all right, all right, I admit it
Now pick your next move, you could leave or live wit' it
Ichabod Crane with that * top off
Split and go where? Back to wearin' knockoffs, hah
Knock it off, Neiman's, shop it off
Let's talk over mai tais, waitress, top it off
hoes like vultures wanna fly in your Freddy loafers
You can't blame 'em, they ain't never seen Versace sofas
Every bag, every blouse, every bracelet
Comes with a price tag, baby, face it
You should leave if you can't accept the basics
Plenty hoes in the baller-nigger matrix
Invisibly set, the Rolex is faceless
I'm just young, rich, and tasteless
P!

was never much of a romantic
I could never take the intimacy
And i know it did damage
Plus the look in your eyes is killing me
I guess you have an advantage
You could blame me for everything
And i dont know what im'a manage
If one day you just up and leave

(CHORUS)
And I always find
Oh and i alway find..
and i always find..
yeah i always find something wrong
You been puttin' up with my * just way too long
I'm so gifted at findin' what I don't like the most
So I think it's time for us to have a toast

I'm so gifted at findin' what I don't like the most
So I think it's time for us to have a toast
Let's have a toast for the douche-bags,
Let's have a toast for the *holes,
Let's have a toast for the scumbags,
Every one of them that I know
Let's have a toast to the j*
That'll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can