Laura, I Failed You As A Desert Bride

(photo from perfectboundblog.com)

dedicated to a girl I had strong feelings for, but never had the courage to pursue. I live with this regret forever.


-----------/Laura I Stumbled In The Wilderness, And I Lost Sight Of You


I was your bride you were my husband
I was supposed to run after you in the desert
of the unknown
submissive
and trusting of your leading in the wilderness they call
love – a land not sown, a land, that if not navigated properly
hearts die, of starvation (no sacrifice, compassion), or
of thirst (no sincerity). Whenever I saw you, and we made eye contact
(at the various ministry events in the city)
I could surmise without equivocating.....
your firstfruit, the one you wanted most
[your countenance betrayed this though
your words attempted to belie our mutual attraction: masked
in professionalism]
and if anyone hurt me, I just knew
you would make it disastrous for them
but I strayed from you, spurned your firm hand
and followed after worthless idols, people who only
crushed my spirit in the end
and because they vilified me, I vilified myself
heaped blame upon blame on my self esteem
until I became worthless myself
you were so good for me, why didn’t I just ask you out?
for the brief fleeting moments I spoke to you
your beauty illumined my path
led me through the barren wilderness,
of obscurity and gave me clarity (I knew you would love
me like I had prayed for)
through a land of deserts and ravines,
a land of drought and utter darkness: singleness
without a spouse to call my own crying at night
feeling unwanted in a land where it seems no one travels
and no one lives (everyone in DC seems spoken for)
and you brought me into a fertile land of true romance
to eat its fruit and rich produce, the kiss of your lips
the gaze of your bedazzling eyes.
But, Laura, baby I never enjoyed that the way you intented
instead I defiled your acquaintance
by not giving you a chance and made your inheritance for me
detestable.
pursuing interests that were physically appealing to me
but not nearly as substantive as you
not worth falling in love with like you
sorry

(for being a bad wife)




--------------Jeremiah 2: 1-8
The word of the LORD came to me: Go and proclaim in the hearing of Jerusalem:
"his is what the LORD says:
" remember the devotion of your youth,
how as a bride you loved me
and followed me through the wilderness,
through a land not sown.
Israel was holy to the LORD,
the firstfruits of his harvest;
all who devoured her were held guilty,
and disaster overtook them,'"
declares the LORD.
Hear the word of the LORD, you descendants of Jacob,
all you clans of Israel.
This is what the LORD says:
“What fault did your ancestors find in me,
that they strayed so far from me?
They followed worthless idols
and became worthless themselves.
They did not ask, ‘Where is the LORD,
who brought us up out of Egypt
and led us through the barren wilderness,
through a land of deserts and ravines,
a land of drought and utter darkness,
a land where no one travels and no one lives?’
I brought you into a fertile land
to eat its fruit and rich produce.
But you came and defiled my land
and made my inheritance detestable.
The priests did not ask,
'Where is the LORD?'
Those who deal with the law did not know me;
the leaders rebelled against me.
The prophets prophesied by Baal,
following worthless idols.