Laura, My Handlers Said I Had To Write This First (Poem Next Post!)

Okay so just for the record (Im dismayed I have to do this –maaaan it ruins the flow of my poem, but alas, Ive been accused of harassing a person/people simply because I’d chosen to write about my feelings for them – good feelings, not injurious ones, on a generic first name basis nonetheless) this Laura that I write about could be any "Laura" on planet earth. Even if I happen to use a place descriptor, like say a mall or a gym or a movie theater, or a haunted house, or a McDonald's drive thru window, there are a multitude of such places in the world, making it nearly impossible for anyone to decipher which Laura I happened to see or in which of the various haunted houses, etc in the world I saw her in, okay? Again this is not harassment because it is not specific direct contact of any sort with "Laura"... I could be referring to Laura Schlessinger, Laura Croft from Tomb Raider (ANGELINA JOLIE, MMMM, MMMM, MMMM YOU LOOKED GOOD IN DAT DERE MOVIE) or Laura the bridesmaid of Kate Middleton at her upcoming wedding – who the heck can decrypt this conundrum on a first name basis only? Certainly not even Sherlock Holmes, my dear Watson! Just hypothetically, if a certain "Laura" were threatened just by the mention of her name in me little old blog of yore, unless she/he can prove I caused physical harm, invaded her personal space or proved to be an obstacle to living her life, her accusation would be tantamount to me saying Im harassed by large mobs of Dallas Cowboys fans chanting "Tony, Tony, Tony". The implausibility of me proving that this aforementioned large mob was referring to me specifically, and that this large mob was intending to harass and hurt me would be understated in any conceivable case. (How would anyone listening know anything specific at all about me in that regard?) Emotional harm would not be a viable option in either case – Im neither making direct contact or harming "Laura" in anway....all Im doing is writing about her in a non violent, amiable fond manner. Is that a crime? Isnt free speech a right guaranteed to all Americans? Arent you and I patriots, harassment alleger? Lastly, due to my mental fatigue and anguish at having to write this, harassment would be coerced or forced or foisted upon the victim right? And that leads me to the next probing soul searching question – how did you stumble upon me old blog, harassment alleger? This blog is only for THE MILLIONS.....AND MILLIONS....OF JESUSMETAPHOR FANS!!! (ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY – IF YOU SMELL-ALLLALLLAAALLLA-LEEEEELLL WHAT THE ROCK/JESUSMETAPHOR....IS....COOOKING) So if "Laura" doesn't want to know of me writing something loving about her, then instead of resorting to claims of harassment – just don't read the blog! I didn't tell you to read it, I never even told you about the blog, or even talk to you at all for that matter! YOU AND I DON'T EVEN COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER....Sheesh! Leave thejesusmetaphor be so he can write poems for all my party peoples – THE MILLIONS, AND MILLIONS OF TWITTER FANS!!! (LADY GAGA I WANT TO HAVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF FOLLOWERS AS YOU BABYGIRL!) Let this case of slander and libel be thrown out!!! FREE THEJESUSMETAPHOR I gotta be true to my expressive self and write when I feel lead to write yo! IM JUST DOING WHAT TAYLOR SWIFT, AND USHER, AND BIEBER DO – WRITE!!! And man, this girl Laura has been blowing my mind for a while now! HAVE AT IT!!!!!