The Ship From Miletus

"Then they all wept freely, and fell on Paul's neck and kissed him"

----------------/The Ship From Miletus: Paul's Thoughts as He Leaves for Jerusalem

One of the greatest fears in life
is that no one will miss you when youre gone
and much to your consternation
you might chase your dreams all the way to the precipice of consummation
only to be overtaken by calamity before you realize them
when you left Jerusalem and came to Damascus
perched on a horse of naiveté, arrogance
and self-righteous disdain
a white cloak stained with the blood of innocent men
and a conscience numbed by screams of the helpless
you manipulated into guilt laden traitors
followers of the Way you deemed off course
your horse stood on two feet – no longer able to contain its
discontent at the macabre slaughtering, then the harps
and the wailing and the black smoke from various funeral pyres
burning its eyes....
and your back hit the ground
eyes blinded by insecurities and doubts about your interpretation of Truth
you cried for 3 days overwhelmed by grief and intense loneliness
and your present situation now conjures up these same emotions,
except this time you tread the same path inversely
your end will be your beginning
and the city that birthed your spurious mission to kill
will be the catalyst for your death
(and paradoxically the path for your righteousness and virtue)
and the arbiter of your burial
and the capital of your nostalgic gazing at the stars
so you start to comprehend that after all these years
-the trials, the conversions, the persecutions, the toil-
the only thing that matters is the memory you leave behind
and whether or not any of your successors will be better men
for the example your life imparted them
if the world will bloom with love from the seeds of your soul
(hopefully planted in earnest).
and after your dreams really do come true
if anyone will be sad to see you go




-------------/Acts 20:17-38
From Miletus he sent to Ephesus and called for the elders of the church. And when they had come to him, he said to them: “You know, from the first day that I came to Asia, in what manner I always lived among you, serving the Lord with all humility, with many tears and trials which happened to me by the plotting of the Jews; how I kept back nothing that was helpful, but proclaimed it to you, and taught you publicly and from house to house, testifying to Jews, and also to Greeks, repentance toward God and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ. And see, now I go bound in the spirit to Jerusalem, not knowing the things that will happen to me there, except that the Holy Spirit testifies in every city, saying that chains and tribulations await me. But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. "And indeed, now I know that you all, among whom I have gone preaching the kingdom of God, will see my face no more. Therefore I testify to you this day that I am innocent of the blood of all men. For I have not shunned to declare to you the whole counsel of God. Therefore take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood. For I know this, that after my departure savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock. Also from among yourselves men will rise up, speaking perverse things, to draw away the disciples after themselves. Therefore watch, and remember that for three years I did not cease to warn everyone night and day with tears. "So now, brethren, I commend you to God and to the word of His grace, which is able to build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified. I have coveted no one’s silver or gold or apparel. Yes, you yourselves know that these hands have provided for my necessities, and for those who were with me. I have shown you in every way, by laboring like this, that you must support the weak. And remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'" And when he had said these things, he knelt down and prayed with them all. Then they all wept freely, and fell on Paul’s neck and kissed him, sorrowing most of all for the words which he spoke, that they would see his face no more. And they accompanied him to the ship.