Death In Winter (Summer is Dead Pt 3....It Died July 13th)

(Isaiah 18:6) They shall all be left to the birds of prey of the mountains and to the animals of the earth. And the birds of prey will summer on them, and all the animals of the earth will winter on them.


-----------------/Summer is Dead Pt 3: Death In Winter


J*ne, I refuse to speak of august memories in August
or leisurely sitting at the bank of a river,
letting my bare feet be caressed by its cool currents
thinking of you
or gaily picking the choicest of perennials
to place behind your ear
as we walk with interlocked fingers –
into the warm embrace of the evening sun
because these things are phantoms, murals on the walls
of things that will never be
there is nothing inspiring left to mention anymore
nothing that moves the heart to stay here in this season
but the winter will be only a partial escape, as the cold air gnarls
the skin on my cheeks and nose
the touch of frost will send chills of loneliness down my spine
and at night my teeth will chatter at the frosty prospect
of you sitting next to your boyfriend at his parents' fireplace
The beauty of the snow will only serve to mask the ugly past
when I was foolish enough to think I deserved a girl like you
yet your rejection like ice will harden my heart against you
when I try to dig deep to unearth your smiling face in my dreams
of warm soil and late spring rains
yet find only your glacial indifference to me;
the seasons will be cruel, either way
since I have left my heart bare and unguarded before the birds
of mountains and earth
(the animals that tear my self esteem limb from limb)
because you will end up just a distant recollection one day
and never my wife – I will never be joyous in summer
or find mirth in winter.....
but the searing summer sun is just too much to bear
if it isn't too much to ask of you – let me keep my dignity just a bit longer
(while you bask in the giddiness of your man)
allow me to die in winter