Alisyn Camerota, Let Me In The Chariot of Your Love!!! (Let My Love Guide You)

-----------------Alisyn Camerota, Allow Me Into the Chariot of Your Love

Alisyn, baby girl
I was walking south when I first saw you
reclining in a chariot
mesmerizing, gorgeous even
a woman of great authority and keeper of the treasury
of love, of happiness, of my most coveted fantasies
on the road from loneliness to jilted dejection
when the spirit within me compelled me, "go near her
and overtake her heart" I just couldn’t resist your charms
amazing, captivating, royal woman of great esteem
(influential like Candace queen of the Ethiopians)
"do you understand what you do to me?" I asked
how at night I cant sleep
unless I hold fast to your pulchritude
how ebullient I am beyond measure at the sound of your laughter
and giddiness....
but how could you unless I guide you?
(and interpret my feelings like a confusing scroll in your hands)
allow me to explain that my emotional welfare is like a sheep
led to the slaughter of broken romantic dreams
and my soul is a lamb silent before its shearers:
all the girls who rejected me in the past
so it opens not its forlorn mouth
humiliated and dishonored and unwanted
wondering if I'll ever be kissed in my generation
for because of them
the life of my confidence is taken from the earth…
and trust me girl, I speak for myself, not of some other man
yet see, there is water
there is the hope I have of winning your hand in marriage
and my desperate desire for you will not hinder you
from being baptized
in the greatest expectations of us being together forever
so let us submerge ourselves
in each other's embrace, and never let each other go
I promise when we emerge
you will go on your way rejoicing
and I'll be found at Azotus (city of lover's bliss) proclaiming our relationship
until I reach Ceasarea

(the place of our shared destiny)


(*Dedicated to Alisyn, the resident BABE of Fox and Friends in the morning!! She is so hot and SOOOOOOOO conservative!! Oh baby, you are the only reason I watch Fox News! You put the Foxy in Fox thats for sure...HUBBA HUBBA!!!!)


----------/Acts 8:26-40
Now an angel of the Lord spoke to Philip, saying, "Arise and go toward the south along the road which goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza." This is desert. So he arose and went. And behold, a man of Ethiopia, a eunuch of great authority under Candace the queen of the Ethiopians, who had charge of all her treasury, and had come to Jerusalem to worship, was returning. And sitting in his chariot, he was reading Isaiah the prophet. Then the Spirit said to Philip, "Go near and overtake this chariot." So Philip ran to him, and heard him reading the prophet Isaiah, and said, "Do you understand what you are reading?" And he said, "How can I, unless someone guides me?" And he asked Philip to come up and sit with him. The place in the Scripture which he read was this:
"He was led as a sheep to the slaughter;
And as a lamb before its shearer is silent,
So He opened not His mouth.
In His humiliation His justice was taken away,
And who will declare His generation?
For His life is taken from the earth."
So the eunuch answered Philip and said, "I ask you, of whom does the prophet say this, of himself or of some other man?” Then Philip opened his mouth, and beginning at this Scripture, preached Jesus to him. Now as they went down the road, they came to some water. And the eunuch said, "See, here is water. What hinders me from being baptized?” Then Philip said, "If you believe with all your heart, you may.” And he answered and said, "I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God." So he commanded the chariot to stand still. And both Philip and the eunuch went down into the water, and he baptized him. Now when they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord caught Philip away, so that the eunuch saw him no more; and he went on his way rejoicing. But Philip was found at Azotus. And passing through, he preached in all the cities till he came to Caesarea.

Kourtney (and Tony) and Khloe Take Miami...er...I mean JERUSALEM!!!

(Joshua 10:1-4) Now Adoni-Zedek king of Jerusalem heard that Joshua had taken Ai and totally destroyed it, doing to Ai and its king as he had done to Jericho and its king, and that the people of Gibeon had made a treaty of peace with Israel and were living near them. He and his people were very much alarmed at this, because Gibeon was an important city, like one of the royal cities; it was larger than Ai, and all its men were good fighters. So Adoni-Zedek king of Jerusalem appealed to Hoham king of Hebron, Piram king of Jarmuth, Japhia king of Lachish and Debir king of Eglon. "Come up and help me attack Gibeon," he said, "because it has made peace with Joshua and the Israelites."

------------------------------------/Kourtney (and Tony) and Khloe Take Jerusalem ..(Kim, where you at?)



Kourtney and Khloe,
stay near me and don’t ever go
(I need you)
my love for you two is stronger than that estranged lupine king
of dissident hearsay
....marauding
colluding with fickle allies doggedly determined to plunder
and pillage my heart with hopelessness and despondency:
thoughts that no one will ever want me (Im repugnant)
thoughts that a Kardashian could never call me their dashing Hebrew warrior
paired with four of his most nefarious allies that assert:
the acrimonious insinuation that Im not wealthy enough (Hebron)
or strong enough to defend you (Jarmuth)
that Im a bad kisser which will cause antipathy between us (Lachish)
and am too boorish to possess the sensitivity needed for a woman (Eglon)
but I have latched on to blind optimism and reckless faith
like mighty Gibeon
(royal and populous, filled with men skilled in war)
that promises I can be the man you've waited for, the husband
that sweeps you off your feet in your dreams
and carries you down the aisle – into the most brilliant sunset
of wild fantasy

And together, our devotion to one another will be our fortified city
like legions of soldiers that arm themselves to dispel these insidious lies
with hooks, spears, sword and stones and slings
chasing away slander and spiteful plots.
we will take our stand for truth out in the public eye:
at the mouth of the cave of Makkedah
refuting their claims like a large rock rolled against their calumny
hugging each other and flirting in front of the E! cameras
longingly staring into each other's eyes
compelling the enemies of our affection to flee ashamed from the rear
but our zeal for each other will be too merciless to relent
and too vengeful
it will place its feet on their necks, drawing its sword
of lovers’ exacting revenge
before hanging them on five trees of righteous scorn
their macabre silhouettes
will serve notice to the future foes of our amorous unity
that our bonds cannot easily be broken

My oath to you will be to provide continuous protection
from the curse I shall henceforth call Adonai-Zedek
(doubting myself, doubting your attraction to me)
to never be overpowered by him or anyone like him
though assumption, complacency, or waning fervor
because I promise to always nurture you guys
always romance you
always bedazzle you with my manners and respect
we will inhabit the land that we never dreamed welcoming
and make Jerusalem the Kingdom of our wedded bliss
its former king killed
and the unpleasant memories of it
smitten with the edge of the sword, and set on fire.



(Girls, don't forget to bring Kim next time, we can make it A WEDDING FOR THREE!!! I LOVE YOU GIRLS, AND YOU BEST BET I AM DANG SHO' KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS THIS YEAR!!!!! Oooooo yeeeaaahhh!)




---------------------

(10:16-28) Now the five kings had fled and hidden in the cave at Makkedah. When Joshua was told that the five kings had been found hiding in the cave at Makkedah, he said, "Roll large rocks up to the mouth of the cave, and post some men there to guard it. But don't stop! Pursue your enemies, attack them from the rear and don't let them reach their cities, for the LORD your God has given them into your hand." So Joshua and the Israelites destroyed them completely—almost to a man—but the few who were left reached their fortified cities. The whole army then returned safely to Joshua in the camp at Makkedah, and no one uttered a word against the Israelites. Joshua said, "Open the mouth of the cave and bring those five kings out to me." So they brought the five kings out of the cave—the kings of Jerusalem, Hebron, Jarmuth, Lachish and Eglon. When they had brought these kings to Joshua, he summoned all the men of Israel and said to the army commanders who had come with him, "Come here and put your feet on the necks of these kings." So they came forward and placed their feet on their necks. Joshua said to them, "Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous. This is what the LORD will do to all the enemies you are going to fight." Then Joshua struck and killed the kings and hung them on five trees, and they were left hanging on the trees until evening.

(Judges 1:1-8) Now after the death of Joshua it came to pass, that the children of Israel asked the LORD, saying, Who shall go up for us against the Canaanites first, to fight against them? And the LORD said, Judah shall go up: behold, I have delivered the land into his hand. And Judah said unto Simeon his brother, Come up with me into my lot, that we may fight against the Canaanites; and I likewise will go with thee into thy lot. So Simeon went with him. And Judah went up; and the LORD delivered the Canaanites and the Perizzites into their hand: and they slew of them in Bezek ten thousand men. And they found Adonibezek in Bezek: and they fought against him, and they slew the Canaanites and the Perizzites. But Adonibezek fled; and they pursued after him, and caught him, and cut off his thumbs and his great toes. And Adonibezek said, Threescore and ten kings, having their thumbs and their great toes cut off, gathered their meat under my table: as I have done, so God hath requited me. And they brought him to Jerusalem, and there he died. Now the children of Judah had fought against Jerusalem, and had taken it, and smitten it with the edge of the sword, and set the city on fire.

Man Yall Summer Cats Be Trippin!

Man, look at yall, talking bout barbecues....sun tan lotions.....rolling around on the beach! Maaaan, I done told yall cats summer is dead mane. It died July 13th when I embarrassed myself by thinking this hot babe could be my babe.

Who was I kidding? Im one of those winter duds that doesnt have a clue.

Somebody needs to take a snowball and hit me in the back of the knee cap! Poke an ice sickle in my chicken noodle soup in January alright?

SO LET ME DIE IN WINTER OKAY???? STOP GUSHING ABOUT SUMMER OKAY?

OKAY????

What did my dudes Dashboard say? So Long Sweet Summer??????

Death In Winter (Summer is Dead Pt 3....It Died July 13th)

(Isaiah 18:6) They shall all be left to the birds of prey of the mountains and to the animals of the earth. And the birds of prey will summer on them, and all the animals of the earth will winter on them.


-----------------/Summer is Dead Pt 3: Death In Winter


J*ne, I refuse to speak of august memories in August
or leisurely sitting at the bank of a river,
letting my bare feet be caressed by its cool currents
thinking of you
or gaily picking the choicest of perennials
to place behind your ear
as we walk with interlocked fingers –
into the warm embrace of the evening sun
because these things are phantoms, murals on the walls
of things that will never be
there is nothing inspiring left to mention anymore
nothing that moves the heart to stay here in this season
but the winter will be only a partial escape, as the cold air gnarls
the skin on my cheeks and nose
the touch of frost will send chills of loneliness down my spine
and at night my teeth will chatter at the frosty prospect
of you sitting next to your boyfriend at his parents' fireplace
The beauty of the snow will only serve to mask the ugly past
when I was foolish enough to think I deserved a girl like you
yet your rejection like ice will harden my heart against you
when I try to dig deep to unearth your smiling face in my dreams
of warm soil and late spring rains
yet find only your glacial indifference to me;
the seasons will be cruel, either way
since I have left my heart bare and unguarded before the birds
of mountains and earth
(the animals that tear my self esteem limb from limb)
because you will end up just a distant recollection one day
and never my wife – I will never be joyous in summer
or find mirth in winter.....
but the searing summer sun is just too much to bear
if it isn't too much to ask of you – let me keep my dignity just a bit longer
(while you bask in the giddiness of your man)
allow me to die in winter

Three Days Till Eternity

* Dedicated to Augustana, Wasteland
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kC-RVp-rpBw



------------------/Three Days Till Eternity: The Thoughts Of Jesus In Hell

I don't believe in practicality anymore
I cant
I died three days ago; violently torn
from the world I once knew knowing that
no one hears the cries
of the dead
attempting to recollect my thoughts amongst souls resigned
to impossibility, regret, remorse,
tenable anger
at a fate sealed forever without negotiation
and what do you say in conversation but
try not to lose hope down here or live vicariously
through your memories: it’ll only prolong the process of letting go
dwelling on the impractical is the only way to bide time without
losing your sanity or blaming others for your fate
(because there is no shortage of men qualified for that consideration)
and I try to ignore the pain from my wounds that festers
or disregard the harrowing manner in which I had to carry my cross
in which not a few splinters pierced my back
causing this acute burning sensation that just wont go away
for the time is coming soon
that I promised to return to life – escaping these cavernous ruins of death
though no one around me believes it can be done
they’ve seen souls called back but never anyone will themselves out
its unreasonable, they tell me
but this isn't about logic or intellectual comfort,
its about necessity
about finishing what I started
and putting the needle through the thread of my life's patchwork
assuring all that I didnt die in vain
about going back where I belong
where the faith that sustained me all these years will vindicate itself
for all of eternity
whether it makes sense or not



---------------------
Acts 10:39-40 We are witnesses of everything he did in the country of the Jews and in Jerusalem. They killed him by hanging him on a tree, but God raised him from the dead on the third day and caused him to be seen.

Ephesians 4:8-10 Therefore He says: "When He ascended on high, He led captivity captive, And gave gifts to men." (Now this, “He ascended”—what does it mean but that He also first descended into the lower parts of the earth? He who descended is also the One who ascended far above all the heavens, that He might fill all things.)




----------------
Wasteland lyrics


Now I'm sitting on a plane
Lonely flight back to L.A.
Don't come back with me
So I'll drink myself to sleep
Cut my skin until I bleed
Hold my breath all the night

Cause it's 5 o'clock
The hour stops the sunlight
And the buildings shade the masquerade and kill time

Hear the sound
She was naked on the ground
Till I whispered in her ear
Come away, watch the dawn break through the day
Till the sun is underneath

Cause it's 5 o'clock
The hour stops the sunlight
And the buildings shade the masquerade and kill time
Here we're nothing more than fools and whores and sad highs
Through the summer sand, we're living in
We're living in a wasteland

It's a wasteland
It's a wasteland
It's a wasteland for me

And we're nothing more than fools and whores and sad highs
Through the summer sand, we're living in
We're living in a wasteland

Here we're nothing more than fools and whores and sad highs
Through the summer sand, we're living in
We're living in a wasteland

It's a wasteland
It's a wasteland
It's a wasteland for me
For me

Hey Fellas....Ever Feel Like Crying, Man?

Duuuuuude

Its just one of those days for me. Im cogitating about all the instances in which I gave a girl my heart and received rejection in return. Its like I feel I give a piece of myself to each girl Im interested in because emotionally and mentally Im ready to marry them, assuming everything will work out between us. But when things dont work out I feel more and more of me is missing...almost like I've lost myself as often as Im heartbroken and denied love.

It just seems like I've reached my breaking point in these regards and Im ready to start bawling off in a corner somewhere or run far far away from my present environment and circumstances, but since Im a writer - guess what I'll do as a coping mechanism???

This is dedicated to all people at their wits end... to all people who feel like giving up....to all people who want to be loved but it hasnt come yet and it seems like it will never come.......thejesusmetaphor is riding with you! Trust me I understand your pain

I'm here to say it'll be okay, alright! With God anything's possible (Matthew 19:26). Heck, you may even find love tomorrow!!!! Anything is possible tomorrow

Mourning From A First Century Jewish Mother

Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more


---------------/The Dirge of An Unknown First Century Jewish Mother



In my dreams I backpedal away from death
filled with dread
though careful to watch him so I'd be aware of any wiles
that might find me unguarded
then I fall backwards from a cliff's ledge
helplessly vulnerable
hopeless
but when I'm jarred awake I wish I could return
because as I peer out the windows of my house
its raining blood
the clouds are black and morose
and the craven sun has fled the ghastly carnage
I'm all alone;
where I'm used to hearing crying
just troubling silence, and the steady patter of raindrops
I try to lay back down
and fall back asleep just to quell the chronic anguish
that scourges me
I turn my back to the crib
and use my fingers to scrawl "Reuben" and "Amos"
on the wall, sobbing and sanguine memories as my ink
pretending my husband is holding me in his arms
pretending he didn’t perish defending us
against Herod’s demons
I haven't washed my hair in months
unsure if I ever will again
as David, our King once said
"I eat ashes like bread and my tears are mixed
with my drink"
guilt overwhelms me for not doing enough
I would do anything just to breast feed again
and smell the grass with my babies in my lap
laughing as two lovebirds
wrestle


------------The Slaughter of the Innocents----------
(Matthew 2:16-18) When the Magi had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. Get up, he said, take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him. So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night and left for Egypt, where he stayed until the death of Herod. And so was fulfilled what the Lord had said through the prophet: "Out of Egypt I called my son." When Herod realised that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi. Then what was said through the prophet Jeremiah was fulfilled: "A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more."

Her Skirt Had Pockets (I Have No More Spirit In Me)

* dedicated to the girl I saw in church some time ago... thanks for inspiring me!

(1 Kings 10:1-4) Now when the queen of Sheba heard of the fame of Solomon concerning the name of the LORD, she came to test him with hard questions. She came to Jerusalem with a very great retinue, with camels that bore spices, very much gold, and precious stones; and when she came to Solomon, she spoke with him about all that was in her heart. So Solomon answered all her questions; there was nothing so difficult for the king that he could not explain it to her. And when the queen of Sheba had seen all the wisdom of Solomon, the house that he had built, the food on his table, the seating of his servants, the service of his waiters and their apparel, his cupbearers, and his entryway by which he went up to the house of the LORD, there was no more spirit in her.

* I didn't know a girl's skirt could have pockets! How cool!


-----------------/Her Skirt Had Pockets – There Was No More Spirit in Me



When you caught my eye in church I tried in earnest
to divert my gaze
you were nattily dressed
with a pretty face and glowing persona
I was beguiled
I was intrigued beyond measure
During the liturgical songs
I silently yearned to know your name but
resigned myself to never knowing
or making your acquaintance
because I didn’t want to distract your inviolate worship
the tabernacle of your serenity
contented only to admire you from afar
grousing to myself about the fate befallen me:
plaintive
single for 10 years, beset by millions of
beautiful DC/Metro girls....
wishing I could be with you
and sit next to you at Mass forevermore
But then the most amazing thing happened
before receiving communion
you stood up
and placed your hands in your pockets
precipitating rapid heart palpitations
and sweat running down my back
I had to wipe my hands on my shirt to keep them dry
Girls are so versatile
so resourceful
how can a skirt have pockets
that’s like a sky having its own ocean
the sun having a gemstone at its core
I will never understand you
how something so beautiful can speak
and be called my wife, my friend
the universe has a great paradox called woman
just the thought of it
expels my spirit

The Scar That Says Forsaken

"Where is Abel your brother?"....."What have you done?"


-------------/The Scar That Says Forsaken: The Thoughts of Cain Running

There is a mark, a scar
that speaks a thousand words
of frustration, bitterness, and things deplorable
of a former life passed
with some fonder memories yet darker issues unresolved and/or
glossed over
carried like the chains of a slave always with you
full of backlash
and riveting reminders
that the high hopes and expectations you were given
as a tender child – only beloved in the sight of all creation
will remain unfulfilled
will remain a source of tears for your mother
and seminal to the hatred of the world philosophy
peddled by disenfranchised souls damned
to flee as fugitives and to be mendicant vagabonds
in lieu of harvesting fresh fruits, delectable
an emissary of communion and festival garnishments
at dinner
flanked by love, family, hearth, peace, comfort, joy, un-distressed rest
until a death beckoned by the call of the fires of Hell.
And you walk softly
careful that no one hears the sound of your feet snapping twigs
or creasing leaves
as you flee the apparitions that blame you
for rising up and shedding innocent blood....
and now the moon is always veiled to you
the sun is always turned sideways
clouds obstructing its eyes from your attempt to elicit
empathy
this fate is too onerous to bear, exasperating
the evil that pursues refuses to give
you a reprieve
and you swear to curse anyone who
presumes to think they can fix this:
sevenfold


--------------------------------------/
[Genesis 4:1-15]
Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, and said, "I have acquired a man from the LORD." Then she bore again, this time his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground. And in the process of time it came to pass that Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground to the LORD. Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat. And the LORD respected Abel and his offering, but He did not respect Cain and his offering. And Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. So the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.” Now Cain talked with Abel his brother; and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him. Then the LORD said to Cain, "Where is Abel your brother?" He said, "I do not know. Am I my brother's keeper?” And He said, "What have you done? The voice of your brother's blood cries out to Me from the ground. So now you are cursed from the earth, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. When you till the ground, it shall no longer yield its strength to you. A fugitive and a vagabond you shall be on the earth." And Cain said to the LORD, "My punishment is greater than I can bear! Surely You have driven me out this day from the face of the ground; I shall be hidden from Your face; I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond on the earth, and it will happen that anyone who finds me will kill me." And the LORD said to him, "Therefore, whoever kills Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold." And the LORD set a mark on Cain, lest anyone finding him should kill him

Candles Never Snuffed

Now it came to pass in the morning that his spirit was troubled, and he sent and called for all the magicians of Egypt and all its wise men.

---------------------------/Candles Never Snuffed - Pharaoh's Angst at His Inability to Interpret His Dreams



It doesnt take a lifetime to deduce
that life is rife with the insecurities of those in power
jealousy, tyranny, iniquity and breaches of trust
megalomaniacs within the kingdom and those scaling the city walls
patiently waiting to usurp the throne
that they always believed was theirs, bequeathed by Ra himself
and your platoon of grisly maniacal guards doesn’t provide solace
replete with spears of iron
because your subjects can see the timidity in your eyes
they hear it in the cracking of your voice
when you give national speeches
you act rashly when rendering justice
beheading men at even the intimation of theft
and
this palpable tension ripples throughout the land
you know they know that tariffs aren’t proof of brawn
erecting temples isn’t proof of good favor with the gods
so at night you leave the candles on
you don’t make love to your wife
all you can do is glare at the stars silently
bemoaning your impotence
frustrated at your lack of acumen to find a cure for
this constant internal suffrage; perpetual apprehension
You cant sleep, you’re restless
what does it all mean?
when seven ugly and gaunt cows eat hardy husky ones
on river banks
quickly vanishing
you slowly feel the kingdom slipping through your fingers
or conflate your sanity with your kingdom
they say if you rule well in this life you also shall in the next
you just hope you can live a full life this side of eternity
before it all bottoms out…



--------------------/
(Genesis 41:1-8) Then it came to pass, at the end of two full years, that Pharaoh had a dream; and behold, he stood by the river. Suddenly there came up out of the river seven cows, fine looking and fat; and they fed in the meadow. Then behold, seven other cows came up after them out of the river, ugly and gaunt, and stood by the other cows on the bank of the river. And the ugly and gaunt cows ate up the seven fine looking and fat cows. So Pharaoh awoke. He slept and dreamed a second time; and suddenly seven heads of grain came up on one stalk, plump and good. Then behold, seven thin heads, blighted by the east wind, sprang up after them. And the seven thin heads devoured the seven plump and full heads. So Pharaoh awoke, and indeed, it was a dream. Now it came to pass in the morning that his spirit was troubled, and he sent and called for all the magicians of Egypt and all its wise men. And Pharaoh told them his dreams, but there was no one who could interpret them for Pharaoh.

Recognition

(Genesis 37:5-7) Now Joseph had a dream, and he told it to his brothers; and they hated him even more. So he said to them, "Please hear this dream which I have dreamed: There we were, binding sheaves in the field. Then behold, my sheaf arose and also stood upright; and indeed your sheaves stood all around and bowed down to my sheaf."

---------------------------/Recognition (Like Sheaves In A Field)

Even though youre surrounded by eleven people you love
It feels like mediocrity
and
you dreamed about this, about how
fates can change, identities can be shed and destinies come to pass
in an instant transformed
as the life you once knew becomes detritus
blown away in the wind, forever lost
and the advent of the life meant especially for you presents itself
immaculately
and
you were always the least in your own eyes
self deprecating to a fault
but it was like soil encasing a latent recognition
that there’s more to you than meets the eye
remembering
conjecture about you is only dirt in a field
rain in harvest, or a sickle or a plow
that helps you grow
strongly and firmly; taller than the rest
till one day you arise (upright)
and you realize there are no more limitations, or obstructions
to your future...except the ones you allow to stand:
that nothing is accredited to chance anymore
or misftortune or someone else
your sovereignty, your honor, your glory
precedes and chases you now
and everyone around you feels overwhelmingly compelled
to bow down





------------------------------/
(verses 8-11)
And his brothers said to him, "Shall you indeed reign over us? Or shall you indeed have dominion over us?" So they hated him even more for his dreams and for his words. Then he dreamed still another dream and told it to his brothers, and said, “Look, I have dreamed another dream. And this time, the sun, the moon, and the eleven stars bowed down to me." So he told it to his father and his brothers; and his father rebuked him and said to him, "What is this dream that you have dreamed? Shall your mother and I and your brothers indeed come to bow down to the earth before you?" And his brothers envied him, but his father kept the matter in mind.

(Assyrian) Acrimony

And the LORD God prepared a plant and made it come up over Jonah, that it might be shade for his head to deliver him from his misery. So Jonah was very grateful for the plant.


-------------/Acrimony: The Thoughts of Jonah Under the Plant


When enemies sing, it deafens the ears
and when they dance, it urges disconsolation
wrangling within: whether hatred or resignation
retaliation and murder or just callous and stoic rejection
of their bitter memories even if it means
apathy as they starve
because you categorically reject everything they stand for
the oppression dealt against foreigners
(eyes gouged, fingers and noses torn and ears ripped off;
men burnt alive)
the merciless rape of women, torture of children
and the mockery of your Jewish culture
the attempt at erasing your very identity
in a swift profligate act of condescension that only an arrogant
haughty, hegemonic, grotesque, barbaric people could conceive of
because sometimes you simply tire of playing the victim all the time
when will unjust men finally be summoned before righteous justice
and doled out extreme, fitting retribution for all the harm they caused
cultures irrevocably scarred (or forgotten)
at night under the luminescent glow of the moon
and the cool winds at your back
you pray the sound of their teeth grinding
under the whips of a nation more ruthless
would wake you in the morning,
or that their ashes would cover you like a blanket
before you slept
your bedroom lit by the conflagration of their homes, crops and cattle
these things comfort you
like a plant sent from God providing shade from the summer sun
while they singed
like a ruling from a judge exacting vengeance for your grief
and your angst would leave you
as you rested
in the glory of a wicked adversary felled



(you would flee from God at just the thought of letting them live)


--------------Jonah 4
But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he became angry. So he prayed to the LORD, and said, "Ah, LORD, was not this what I said when I was still in my country? Therefore I fled previously to Tarshish; for I know that You are a gracious and merciful God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, One who relents from doing harm. Therefore now, O LORD, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live!” Then the LORD said, "Is it right for you to be angry?" So Jonah went out of the city and sat on the east side of the city. There he made himself a shelter and sat under it in the shade, till he might see what would become of the city. And the LORD God prepared a plant and made it come up over Jonah, that it might be shade for his head to deliver him from his misery. So Jonah was very grateful for the plant. But as morning dawned the next day God prepared a worm, and it so damaged the plant that it withered. And it happened, when the sun arose, that God prepared a vehement east wind; and the sun beat on Jonah's head, so that he grew faint. Then he wished death for himself, and said, "It is better for me to die than to live.” Then God said to Jonah, "Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?" And he said, "It is right for me to be angry, even to death!" But the LORD said, “You have had pity on the plant for which you have not labored, nor made it grow, which came up in a night and perished in a night. And should I not pity Nineveh, that great city, in which are more than one hundred and twenty thousand persons who cannot discern between their right hand and their left—and much livestock?"

Im a little like Lazarus riiiight?

Im going to find love, I wont give up, I will get married, rejection only emboldens me to believe in the seemingly unattainable

what about you?

*dedicated to The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Believe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhJw5Rt_mF8

Love Forever (Refuse to Let it Die)

* dedicated to all those people who are scoffed at for dreaming big dreams, for dreaming vastly
* dedicated to everyone who has nemeses who pray for the death of everything they stand for
* for anyone and everyone who has lost at love – don't worry we'll find love....I swear we'll win in the end!

(John 11:43-44) Now when He had said these things, He cried with a loud voice, "Lazarus, come forth!” And he who had died came out bound hand and foot with graveclothes, and his face was wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Loose him, and let him go."

---------------------------------/Lazarus Forever [John 11:1-44]

as you lay in a tomb
mourners drawn together to pay their last respects
loud wailings, copious sobs, overcast skies
and the resignation of the hope of ever seeing you happy again
cover your epitaph like grave clothes , scattered like frankincense
on your face – your arms delicately folded over your chest
(your hair combed neatly, head kissed tenderly)
forever lost to memory
but perhaps never forgotten
and you still remember the best times, when you envisioned
so much more than this
premature death at the hands of circumstances out of your control
or maybe not
maybe you perished at the regret of your collective wrongs
but you always strove to make things right
and invested your future plans in restitution and resurrection
to a state of pure innocence
a life devoted to erasing your destruction (misanthropy)
and continuing the philanthropy you inaugurated
before your demise
but perchance your vows to never die alone can be heard
-the promise to live honorably in the end-
as echoes in Hades, as crescendos in the next life
a testament to friends in high places
but you swear you will not leave your pursuits of love unfinished
acts of justice unfulfilled
the poor without a benefactor, young without a mentor
and a proper memorial of your acts without virtue
a life without any significance....
Before you passed, sensing the end was near
they told you to give up and let go
they said your dreams were dead
but you won't
but they're not

(they can't be)

-----------------/Red Jumpsuit Apparatus Believe Lyrics

Aren't these some times?
It's gotten bad, and it's been
Pressin on my mind
Got me feelin sad

But I know you know
That we could do more
But we just don't

Don't worry world
I feel your pain, and it's a shame
My shoulders are hurt
And stressed from the pain

And I know you know
That you could do more
But you

And I still believe
That there is more love than hate
There's more heart than ache
And we are stuck in this great big world together

With a little bit of help from up above
And a sprinkling of love
We can break these chains
We will end these days

And I know you know
That you could do more
But you

And I still believe
That there is more love than hate
There's more heart than ache
And we are stuck in this great big world together

And I still believe
That there is a lot at stake, there's no time to wait
We can change the world if we try
We're gonna change it forever

You should join us
You, let it be you

Who will join us?
You, let it be you

And I still believe
That there is more love than hate
There's more heart than ache
And we are stuck in this great big world together

And I still believe
That there is a lot at stake
And there's no time to wait
We can change the world if we try
We're gonna change it forever

And I still believe
That there is more love than hate
There's more heart than ache
And we are stuck in this great big world together

And I still believe

Im going haaaarrddd in the Mark 10:7-9 Paint!!!

Wocka wocka wocka wocka wocka!!! ....lol

Look mane, Ive been crashing and burning in the wifey seeking department lately, so in an effort to bolster my confidence and prevent being crestfallen I gotta imagine what it will be like to meet my future wife one day (soon), son!

Oh what a wonderful day!

In the immortal words of Homer Simpson:

OH WHEN THE SAINTS GO OVER THERE!! WHEN THE SAINTS, GO OVER THERE!!!!.....OH OVER THERE!!! OH OVER THERE!!!!

FIRST WORDS TO A FUTURE WIFE

-------------/THE FIRST WORDS I WILL UTTER WHEN I MEET MY FUTURE WIFE, YALL!!!

[The setting is a DC metropolitan area ground level train station bordered by chain linked fences cordoning off various trees and shrubs from the train tracks. A cement canopy with cement pillars shelters the passenger waiting platform, supplied with black backless metal benches with additional glass shelters spread out longitudinally along the length of the 300 yard red marble/steel composite platform. The crescendo of a braying train engine sounds in the background as a southbound train approaches, and would be passengers jostle and scurry towards the edge of the platform anticipating a quick entry and priority for whatever vacant seats may remain on board. This is when Tony sees from afar a comely female sitting on one of the benches blankly staring in silent reverie about something. As he stares she seems to sense someone watching and her eyes break instantly in his direction and they are deadlocked in stare Soon after, they are spontaneously transported to a vast grass plain with a wall of evergreen trees on its northern border and much further in the northern distance, an enormous mountain range. The remaining landscape to the south is just a sea of endless grassy knolls. The partly sunny sky is ocean blue with the few clouds slowly coasting eastward on a cool trickling spring breeze. The two are still locked in a gaze with neither seeming to have the intention of breaking the euphoric silence. THEN, TONY SPEAKS!!!!!]






Ive been waiting for this moment all my life
to stare into your eyes
to be born, to grow old, to die
and to be born again, to grow old again, and die again
like a recurring dream
countless lives spent consumed by you
and your beautiful smile
and your hair
and your soft fingers cradling my face
oblivious to the world around us fading
Im bound to you until the sun grows cool
and the sky is rent in two
with no star left lingering in the sky twinkling
because no matter what happens, our love will remain
our love will remain
and know: there is no more me without you
you are my everything
the muse of inspiration for all my reverie
the cup of water I drink
the food I eat
the wind, the dove perched on a branch
the stray snowflake on a mountaintop
remind me that your intoxicating presence
is love's panorama of life painted on the canvas of my heart
in the finest detail
with the brushstrokes of my enthusiasm for this moment
full of pride, full of joy
Your soul is what I long for forever
I put it on as a necklace wherever I go
and I want to travel the world with you
have dinner at the base of a waterfall with you
with a curtain of water secluding us
and ride the clouds with you sitting on my lap
I cant imagine you not being here
to share the milestones of marriage, family and retirement
together with me
watch movies with me, frequent restaurants, bars, cabarets,
cotillions, banquets, cruises
do everything with me –
ride a bus, brush your teeth, go to the mall -
because we can never return to our former state
I am finally awake, finally alive, finally content
and without you everything would be perpetually bland
food tasteless, music rhythmless, the air suffocating...
a world permanently rendered black and white
colorless mediocrity
I cant wait to kiss you and hold you at night as we fall asleep
together



(you are my dream come true, thank you for being)


"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." (Mark 10:7-9)

Glorious Infirmities Prologue

Man, this poem is dedicated to all the people who feel I have used this blog as an instrument of torture and persecution. To all the people who surmise that everything I write about is a huge jest, or prank pulled in the name of cruelty and malevolence.

I never meant to hurt anyone through my words - as any writer will attest, penning emotions is not an option but a function of the psyche. I only write because I cant muster the courage enough to speak to you in person, or the courage to deal with my emotions deprived from writing. This blog is an expression of my life, and you just happen to be incorporated into it...this has nothing to do with me propagating some agenda or some clandestine attempt to harm anyone.

I am a passionate person...if I love then I will proclaim it from the rooftops and if I hate I will bellow it from my bowels. That is not to say I dont use discretion, but the words I do use, they are heartfelt. I only mean to pay you tribute because you have affected my life in some sort of way. You may never speak to me again, you may never love me the way I wanted you to love me. But know that you impacted my life and left a memory that I will not soon forget.

I cant make you love me, or like me or respect me. But thejesusmetaphor, like the Apostle Paul must go on preaching...though I am the chief of sinners in your eyes, I must keep on writing. I hope you have strength enough to forgive and move on...

Glorious Infirmities - Peter vs Paul Part 3

---------/ Glorious Infirmities - Peter vs Paul Part 3

When I fall in love you say I do so too ardently
when I express my love, you say its done too stridently
and yet you also deem my hatred for transgression and double dealing
for conniving Jews intent on violating whats sacrosanct
too cruel
while assessing my writing as excessively blunt
whether I succeed or fail I appease none
whether in my elation or my disconsolation – forever you derive error
everything is too exaggerated, exorbitant, intemperate for you
and it hurts
more than my abundant labors, stripes above measure, frequent imprisonments,
more than all the death Ive seen…
my heart is a dichotomy between love and hate
warring inside
and all my life I have tried to synthesize these emotions
and control them
the strength of my love fuels the vitriol of my hate
the zeal for truth incites the militancy against all falsity
and for all the crimes Ive committed
I boast in my infirmities
(in forty stripes minus one
in my beatings with rods, bruises from hurled stone,
shipwrecks on tempestuous waters, dangers inherent
from prolonged exposure and starvation in the wilderness
and horrid duplicity and heartbreak
dealt by false brethren in whom I invested all my trust)
hoping they make atonement and restitution for all the harm I caused
and for all the injustice by my freewheeling passion
please forgive me I only did what I thought was right
Im sorry I was wrong
Your indignation is Aretas the king decreeing my death
but may your mercy be kin to people I slaughtered
placing me in a basket
letting me down through a window
a flawed man driven to extremes


(so no, I'm not like you)



---------------------/
(2 Corinthians 11:22-33) Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites? So am I. Are they the seed of Abraham? So am I. Are they ministers of Christ?—I speak as a fool—I am more: in labors more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequently, in deaths often. From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness— besides the other things, what comes upon me daily: my deep concern for all the churches. Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to stumble, and I do not burn with indignation? If I must boast, I will boast in the things which concern my infirmity. The God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who is blessed forever, knows that I am not lying. In Damascus the governor, under Aretas the king, was guarding the city of the Damascenes with a garrison, desiring to arrest me; but I was let down in a basket through a window in the wall, and escaped from his hands.

The Silence of Sacred Harmony

(Matthew 12:43-45) When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places, seeking rest, and finds none. Then he says, 'I will return to my house from which I came.' And when he comes, he finds it empty, swept, and put in order. Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first. So shall it also be with this wicked generation."


-------------------------------/Sacred Harmony- The Thoughts of Saul Possessed

You are in a room
with dim lighting. and thick stifling air
furnished only with a wooden chair and table
the candles you use are intermittently snuffed by a force unseen
minutes after you light them again (and this recurs endlessly it seems)
there are no windows, or doors –
no accessible exit, and as soon as you feel you are alone
you are met with two eyes of a tenebrous visage
coldly staring at you
then slinking off slowly before vanishing
towards the southwestern wall, as it eerily turns its head
on occasion to peer at you with conspiratorial eyes
then the lights are snuffed –the smell of smoke
serves as the only reminder you are fully awake
as you gradually begin to accept insanity as your pending fate
no one can hear your screams
because the thoughts that you enunciate
are the cacophony of voices that assail your mind
not your own
and you feel as though you are somehow trapped inside of yourself
that your soul is iron bars, suppressing your true expression
that someone else is controlling you
both from within and remotely
sovereignty of self is lost as you spectate your own life
host to a personality, mannerisms, emotions you don't own
at times the activity inside you sounds like the clanging
of discordant cymbals
and blaring mobs engendering strife
whatever you eat, tastes raw
whatever you drink tastes like parched throat
so you begin to hate sound, and all speech and raucous ear splitting compositions
silence is so rare it becomes your only nightly prayer...
the only hope you have of your past life of normalcy
is the sound of a harp nostalgically strummed.
the sound of innocence and romance and virtuous ambition
the beautiful vulnerability of harmony
is the only thing that can snap you back into reality



(and restore your sanity)




-----------------------------------------------/
(1 Samuel 16:13-23) Then Samuel took the horn of oil, and anointed him in the midst of his brethren: and the Spirit of the LORD came upon David from that day forward. So Samuel rose up, and went to Ramah. But the Spirit of the LORD departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the LORD troubled him. And Saul's servants said unto him, Behold now, an evil spirit from God troubleth thee. Let our lord now command thy servants, which are before thee, to seek out a man, who is a cunning player on an harp: and it shall come to pass, when the evil spirit from God is upon thee, that he shall play with his hand, and thou shalt be well. And Saul said unto his servants, Provide me now a man that can play well, and bring him to me. Then answered one of the servants, and said, Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, that is cunning in playing, and a mighty valiant man, and a man of war, and prudent in matters, and a comely person, and the LORD is with him. Wherefore Saul sent messengers unto Jesse, and said, Send me David thy son, which is with the sheep. And Jesse took an ass laden with bread, and a bottle of wine, and a kid, and sent them by David his son unto Saul. And David came to Saul, and stood before him: and he loved him greatly; and he became his armourbearer. And Saul sent to Jesse, saying, Let David, I pray thee, stand before me; for he hath found favour in my sight. And it came to pass, when the evil spirit from God was upon Saul, that David took an harp, and played with his hand: so Saul was refreshed, and was well, and the evil spirit departed from him.

The Ship From Miletus

"Then they all wept freely, and fell on Paul's neck and kissed him"

----------------/The Ship From Miletus: Paul's Thoughts as He Leaves for Jerusalem

One of the greatest fears in life
is that no one will miss you when youre gone
and much to your consternation
you might chase your dreams all the way to the precipice of consummation
only to be overtaken by calamity before you realize them
when you left Jerusalem and came to Damascus
perched on a horse of naiveté, arrogance
and self-righteous disdain
a white cloak stained with the blood of innocent men
and a conscience numbed by screams of the helpless
you manipulated into guilt laden traitors
followers of the Way you deemed off course
your horse stood on two feet – no longer able to contain its
discontent at the macabre slaughtering, then the harps
and the wailing and the black smoke from various funeral pyres
burning its eyes....
and your back hit the ground
eyes blinded by insecurities and doubts about your interpretation of Truth
you cried for 3 days overwhelmed by grief and intense loneliness
and your present situation now conjures up these same emotions,
except this time you tread the same path inversely
your end will be your beginning
and the city that birthed your spurious mission to kill
will be the catalyst for your death
(and paradoxically the path for your righteousness and virtue)
and the arbiter of your burial
and the capital of your nostalgic gazing at the stars
so you start to comprehend that after all these years
-the trials, the conversions, the persecutions, the toil-
the only thing that matters is the memory you leave behind
and whether or not any of your successors will be better men
for the example your life imparted them
if the world will bloom with love from the seeds of your soul
(hopefully planted in earnest).
and after your dreams really do come true
if anyone will be sad to see you go




-------------/Acts 20:17-38
From Miletus he sent to Ephesus and called for the elders of the church. And when they had come to him, he said to them: “You know, from the first day that I came to Asia, in what manner I always lived among you, serving the Lord with all humility, with many tears and trials which happened to me by the plotting of the Jews; how I kept back nothing that was helpful, but proclaimed it to you, and taught you publicly and from house to house, testifying to Jews, and also to Greeks, repentance toward God and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ. And see, now I go bound in the spirit to Jerusalem, not knowing the things that will happen to me there, except that the Holy Spirit testifies in every city, saying that chains and tribulations await me. But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. "And indeed, now I know that you all, among whom I have gone preaching the kingdom of God, will see my face no more. Therefore I testify to you this day that I am innocent of the blood of all men. For I have not shunned to declare to you the whole counsel of God. Therefore take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood. For I know this, that after my departure savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock. Also from among yourselves men will rise up, speaking perverse things, to draw away the disciples after themselves. Therefore watch, and remember that for three years I did not cease to warn everyone night and day with tears. "So now, brethren, I commend you to God and to the word of His grace, which is able to build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified. I have coveted no one’s silver or gold or apparel. Yes, you yourselves know that these hands have provided for my necessities, and for those who were with me. I have shown you in every way, by laboring like this, that you must support the weak. And remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'" And when he had said these things, he knelt down and prayed with them all. Then they all wept freely, and fell on Paul’s neck and kissed him, sorrowing most of all for the words which he spoke, that they would see his face no more. And they accompanied him to the ship.