Summer is Dead: Part Two

"The harvest is past, the summer has ended, and we are not saved." (Jeremiah 8:20)

*dedicated to J*** **o*

-------------------/Summer is dead, part two, *J*

Summer is dead because we're not together
and so
let the air turn frigid, summer breezes turn to chill
heavy snowfalls of my most bitter regret
bury me in self loathing
and the hypothermia of a jilted man
require amputation of all my emotions for you
(its the only chance I have to survive)
may the hollow nighttime gales sing a requiem
for my attempt to woo you
listing all the things Ive done wrong to earn your rebuff
it is too late for harvest now
the time for my salvation has passed
When I wanted you in July
I envisioned spring love
But forever more, as long as I remember your face
in my dreams
seasons wont change
there will be no more tulips
no dandelions, or daffodils, or spring rains or
resplendent pastels of leaves in various hue
falling from trees while children are filled with mirth
no more of me staring at you while youre not looking
(in the mirror while I do sit-ups)
no more jibberish in your presence as I try to gin up conversation
just to be near you for a few moments
and stare at you some more
because now these convivial events are deceased
and though I wont speak ill of them
I will admit they have left a scar
as broad as the Siberian plains
....yeah that's what the rest of August will be like
Siberia
Without you
in perpetuity


(You and your boyfriend should get married! At least then I'll have the comforting thought of you happy....though my heart will have frozen to death by then. All this time I thought I was alive, seeing you every week, but in actuality I was slowly dying....because knowing you and not being able to have you is like being shot with a quiver of poison tipped arrows...cringing in agony. OH BITTER SUMMER, PLEASE DIE....PLEASE DIE!!!!)

Joseph and the Inception Series Prologue

Okay so I just watched Inception tonight and was admittedly blown away! YOU HAVE TO SEE THAT MOVIE, PARTY PEOPLES!! Of course, me being the Jesusmetaphor! OH YEAH! I had to somehow tie a personal metaphor and a Biblical metaphor to the affect the movie had on me. I shall try, with God's help, to write around 6 poems, here and there, referencing this movie through the lens of Joseph's dreams in the Bible. 3 will be about romance, and 3 will cover existential emotions felt by the biblical characters themselves.

Consequently, the poem below is about this girl J*** **o* who I met recently who blew me away. KNOCKED MY SOCKS OFF! Be forewarned though, I have a pesky penchant for chronicling personal experiences which oft times lands me in hot water with the subjects of my reveries. For this reason I had to disguise her true name, and only mention other people on a generic first name basis.

Anywho, this girl is already involved with someone (and for all I know disdains me), and the old fashioned gentleman in me cant ostensibly try to poach that from her. Afterall, I wouldnt want someone to take my love from me. SO ALAS, THE ONLY WAY I CAN DEAL WITH NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE HER IS TO WRITE ABOUT HER! YET DEAR READER, THIS HAPPENS TO BE A BOON FOR YOU! SO FITTINGLY, READ ON!

(I promise not to be so verbose in the next prologue!!!)

You are Like Joseph's Dream

Dedicated to the movie Inception
Dedicated to J*** **o*



(Genesis 37:5-7) Now Joseph had a dream, and he told it to his brothers; and they hated him even more. So he said to them, "Please hear this dream which I have dreamed: There we were, binding sheaves in the field. Then behold, my sheaf arose and also stood upright; and indeed your sheaves stood all around and bowed down to my sheaf."


-----------------------------/You are Like Joseph's Dream

J,
There are some things we were never meant to remember
because trying to remember would jeopardize the
continuity of our present being
so I embrace the fog and haze of it all
like how we met
(like how we were made to meet)
(like how it was destined that our paths would converge)
there is this recurring sequence where you look into my eyes
and I counter
bedazzled by your blonde hair and sweet demeanor
introduced by Michelle
I kept thinking to myself at the time
maybe youre not real, and perhaps youre not
or maybe Im trying to evade the fear that we have no true genesis
and that you and I, just are
our relationship just is
and it may dissipate just as quickly as it came into being
or maybe youre just a projection of my subconscious desire to fall in love
perceived only by me
and the world is just a figment, or backdrop of my latent thoughts
that I'm somehow in control of and yet simultaneously controlled by.
Ive been avoiding you these past few weeks
because I cant bear to see you after I bore my heart to you
and you spurned me
I hoped that your absence would make me forget you
and the pain
but all I can see when Im alone is your eyes the day we met
and it feels like I could just walk up to you tomorrow and chat
like no time has passed from that moment
what if perchance this poem is the dream...and I'll see you
when I awake, continuing that conversation?
if my dream of you is like the sheaf of truth: true reality
and alternatives or distortions of this
are like 11 other sheaves/layers of consciousness
falling down before it
(like this one – [and maybe this is the 11th time Ive done this])
as it stands upright one day
And what if that is my experience of waking up-
standing near you and talking to you – as if the moment I met you
your presence was so inspiring that I started to day dream
moreover I always contended that being with you would feel like
ultimate authority was conferred upon me
and the sun, the moon and 11 stars of my past yearnings for that moment
would one day bow before
the realization of my goal of meeting the one special girl
my soul was meant to meet
and summarily I would be like Israel's favored son:
Joseph in the field with 11 other combatant brothers
trying to take the dream I know to be truth (you) away from me
discounting it as merely outrageous and illicit hubris
immaterial fantasy
...and ultimately I don't know how we got here, or how we met
or if I'll ever see you again – or have the courage to try-
if this is just a dream
I just hope that I end up being one of the 11 rancoring
sheaves
or stars
that end up dispelled
when I wake up
and not Joseph

(even though I always dreamed meeting that special person would be like this... though I cant remember how the dream begins or ends....)

(J*, here's me dreaming about dreaming about you –[I hope] Love, Tony)

--------------/
(verses 8-9) 8And his brothers said to him, "Shall you indeed reign over us? Or shall you indeed have dominion over us?" So they hated him even more for his dreams and for his words. Then he dreamed still another dream and told it to his brothers, and said, "Look, I have dreamed another dream. And this time, the sun, the moon, and the eleven stars bowed down to me."

Alexis Neiers, Don't Break Your Covenant of Love (baby)

(Jeremiah 14:17-18) Therefore you shall say this word to them: "Let my eyes flow with tears night and day, And let them not cease; For the virgin daughter of my people Has been broken with a mighty stroke, with a very severe blow. If I go out to the field, Then behold, those slain with the sword! And if I enter the city, Then behold, those sick from famine! Yes, both prophet and priest go about in a land they do not know.'"

----------------------/Alexis Neiers, Don't Break Your Covenant of Love (baby)/

Alexis,
Babylon is a devastating pernicious nation
like the loneliness I feel when youre not around
(let my eyes flow with tears night and day –
and let them not cease!)
like Jerusalem’s wall mutilated then its people deported captive –
inflicting a mighty stroke with a very serve blow
because being bereft of your presence is a cracked whip
when I think of you I see my chains, and
these lovelorn chains of the tyrannized and downtrodden single man
seeking for a woman to love him
are so heavy laden
girls who reject me are like despicable soldiers kicking fallen stones
spitting on my hope as if a once glorious Temple now razed.
outside, in the fields of my heart, those (aspirations) slain with the sword
are many
gushing blood of angst that only those undesired bleed
and within, the realms of my soul, are those sick from famine
like children and injured citizens deserted
in the flight to preserve life; the fight to keep seeking a soulmate…
yes both the prophet and priest,
my dignity and my conscience
wander in an unfamiliar land dolefully
in desperate, wanton need
of your rescue



(Love me, and rescue me, Alexis. Set me free and take me back to Zion – then we can be PRETTY WILD TOGETHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE!!! WOO-HOOO!!!)


-------------------------------
(19-22) Have You utterly rejected Judah? Has Your soul loathed Zion? Why have You stricken us so that there is no healing for us? We looked for peace, but there was no good; And for the time of healing, and there was trouble. We acknowledge, O LORD, our wickedness And the iniquity of our fathers, For we have sinned against You. Do not abhor us, for Your name’s sake; Do not disgrace the throne of Your glory. Remember, do not break Your covenant with us. Are there any among the idols of the nations that can cause rain? Or can the heavens give showers? Are You not He, O LORD our God? Therefore we will wait for You, Since You have made all these.

Vienna Girardi, I Would Lay Palms at the Foot of an Ass For You (Thats How Much I Love You)

(Zechariah 9:9) Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion; shout, O daughter of Jerusalem: behold, thy King cometh unto thee: he is just, and having salvation; lowly, and riding upon an ass, and upon a colt the foal of an ass.

----------------------/Vienna Girardi, I Would Lay Palms at the Foot of an Ass For You


Vienna, baby
I am your love slave, forever
[prophet of romance, messiah of glamour, savior of wedded bliss
born of a sinless Virgin womb
you give sight to the blind unable to envision feminine grace
you feed famished crowds,
starving to harken to words from the lips of a beautiful woman]
make me your disciple, I swear I would follow you anywhere
even to Bethpage, past the burial grounds on the Mount of Olives
and do any sort of menial task
because falling for you is as easy as untying a donkey
with a colt by her, and laying the cloaks of my stark loyalty on both
(these are agents of my desire to woo you, pacing slowly yet assuredly:
never giving up)
so if you ride them you would be comfortable
at ease, perched in a position of honor. Let me aggrandize
you to great lengths, let me kiss you to no end
and lay palm branches of my expressed devotion
at your feet as you ride
(I would even lay myself down)
because this is the moment of my most anticipated ardor
when I scream Hosanna! – save me now!
from singleness, and loneliness, and a heart grown cold
from the Roman oppression of
lack of a warm touch, and someone to hug
from deprivation, and need, of a doting wife
You are the son of David, royal progeny
Prodigy of tenderness and mirth
entering the Holy City to rescue my world from melancholy
to Jerusalem
glorious
rejoice


(I am the daughter of Zion for you.... MARRY ME, VIENNA - FORGET JAKE!!!)



-------------Matthew 21:1-11
As they approached Jerusalem and came to Bethphage on the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two disciples, saying to them, "Go to the village ahead of you, and at once you will find a donkey tied there, with her colt by her. Untie them and bring them to me. If anyone says anything to you, tell him that the Lord needs them, and he will send them right away." This took place to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet: "Say to the Daughter of Zion, 'See, your king comes to you, gentle and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey.' “The disciples went and did as Jesus had instructed them. They brought the donkey and the colt, placed their cloaks on them, and Jesus sat on them. A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted,
Hosanna to the Son of David!"
"Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!"
"Hosanna in the highest!"
When Jesus entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred and asked, "Who is this?" The crowds answered, "This is Jesus, the prophet from Nazareth in Galilee."

Summer (officially) died July 13, 2010

(1 Corinthians 16:6) Perhaps I will stay with you awhile, or even spend the winter, so that you can help me on my journey, wherever I go.

*dedicated to Alesana, "Heavy Hangs the Albatross"

-----------------------/I WILL FALL IN LOVE THIS WINTER, I PROMISE YOU

Vultures circling buzzards lusting
there is a dead body hunched over in the desert sands
the apex of the sun's full force, summer high noon
sweltering
gusts of scorching wind speckled with sand assaults the eyes
(so look down, always)
the heat from loneliness blisters my sweaty skin
the body is mine, the cause of death is a heart’s affliction of
prolonged singleness, a thirst for love never satisfied
in the middle of July
so pray for me
so pray for a reprieve
that resurrection would be a fresh breeze that chills the bone
like a woman coming to me, and Im sated
-her arms wrapped around my waist-
her kisses would be like flakes of snow
softly landing
on my world of inferno (excoriating my soul by feeling unwanted)
and sheets of thick ice are like staring into her eyes
skating coolly across my fears of dying isolated
and holding her hands feels like extinguishing pain
a welcoming frostbite of affection
a snowball thrown playfully
and we'll get intimate with the moon, and protracted nights
as the villainous sun flees behind burly clouds heralding frost
instead of flowers we gaze at ice sickles
that hang from bare tree limbs
distorting lenses as we peer through them together
as I imagine a contorted world without summer;
putting on my H&M jacket

(a time when my best efforts failed me
and the ground cracked under the intense hot rays of
rejection
for this reason, summer is officially dead
and I swear I will fall in love this winter/late fall)

we lay side by side
laughing as we make snow angels to ward off the demons
of the memories of the air being so thick we couldnt breathe
(due to romantic angst)
I promise to write love letters to you
and bury them in an avalanche

love grousing

Could you love a guy like me?
all these people slander me
saying all manner of negative things to sway your opinion
but would you consider that maybe Im just misunderstood
I mean well its just that
I haven’t been given an opportunity to be myself
my reputation precedes me
am I desperate for love
am I scared of dying alone?
Yes
but aren't we all?
I hate being alone
I hate buying clothes and extra movie tickets
hoping someone will saunter into my life to claim them
someone I can dress up for
but a year goes by and the clothes just amass dust
and my heart another scar
and I want to hate the people along the way that did this
to me
but might my only mistake be my garrulousness?
I mean, you probably feel the same way
Tired of being hurt by love frauds, swindlers of romance
and their hoaxes
you want to fall in love too
and stop the carousel of forlornness of the unmarried
see what I mean?

(the only difference is that I give voice to my inner emotions)

Peter vs Paul (Pt 2) The Lamb's Stance

-------------------------------/Peter Staring Into The Pool of Bethesda; Peter’s Riposte to Paul

When the Lord calls you Satan
it has this unsettling way of haunting your dreams….
I was just a boy when Theudas was killed
yet I remember keenly the thunderous clomping of horse hooves
as brooding Roman soldiers chased him to his death
(with gemstones in their helmets refracting the sun’s twilight glow)
and the guys (at least Bartholomew and Phillip) fondly recall the time
I walked on water
but I resolutely remind them I sunk too
and I saw Jesus transfigured before me
gleaming white light, gorgeous radiant white robes
resplendent glory
but I also saw him sweating blood like tactile angst
and the culmination of all these things contradicts
who I now am with the fisherman of my past
Im supposed to be the Rock – this fisher of men
but when I look at my reflection in the pool
I see a common man incapable of doing wondrous things
I could never be Caesar's armor bearer, or woo a thousand women
like stout gladiators lionized from foreign lands
and now the Jews are descending upon us
(and I dont know what to do)
Im just a nothing, who came from nothing and might die so
and everyone is looking waiting, watching for my lead
while I wonder in the back of my mind
if Lazarus will end up dying again anyway
I want the strength that Jesus had, and his confidence
anything to supplement my lack
because Im afraid of the unknown –
so no, Im not like you at all


(so bullish)



---------------------------
2 Peter 3:15-16a
and consider that the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation—as also our beloved brother Paul, according to the wisdom given to him, has written to you, as also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things, in which are some things hard to understand.....

dedicated to ********

Darling will you please (please)
take a walk with me
We could count the stars
and disappear - Alesana

Peter vs Paul (Part 1): Save My Heart

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrdziYrvVL0
http://www.alesanaofficial.com/news/6775

dedicated to Alesana – A Lunatic's Lament, The Emptiness (Album)

But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art a stumbling-block unto me: for thou mindest not the things of God, but the things of men. (Matthew 16:23)
And I also say unto thee, that thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it. (Matthew 16:18)
and he fell upon the earth, and heard a voice saying unto him, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me?
(Acts 9:4)
and last of all, as to the child untimely born, he appeared to me also. For I am the least of the apostles, that am not meet to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. 1 Corinthians 15:8-9
but contrariwise, when they saw that I had been intrusted with the gospel of the uncircumcision, even as Peter with the gospel of the circumcision (Galatians 2:7)
When Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he was clearly in the wrong. Before certain men came from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles. But when they arrived, he began to draw back and separate himself from the Gentiles because he was afraid of those who belonged to the circumcision group. The other Jews joined him in his hypocrisy, so that by their hypocrisy even Barnabas was led astray. When I saw that they were not acting in line with the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter in front of them all, "You are a Jew, yet you live like a Gentile and not like a Jew. How is it, then, that you force Gentiles to follow Jewish customs? (Galatians 2:11-14)



-------------------------------
Its possible to listen to music so much that it loses its melody
and wearies you
or you can become so spiritually torpid that you don't want to pray
or smile and you shirk trimming your mustache as it grows past
your upper lip
so disengaged that you ignore good fortune and friends
to the detriment of everyone you know and the relationships you invested
so much time in
and you hide from the sun yet bask in torrential storms (at night)
willing lightning to strike you
because death is the only liberation from your chronic pain
all you do is sit home at your table and place your head in your folded arms
wistful about the elusiveness of the dreams you presumed
would come to pass; but never did
and all you want now is to be saved
from this mire
but you don’t know if youre a fisherman or a Pharisee
or somewhere in the center of this continuum
because everything you've tried to catch has evaded you
and everyone you've tried to help says the help is persecution
belying your desire to purge their lives of evil
….like…they say your good intentions scare people
at times you argue with yourself for being duplicitous just for the sake of
social tranquility…eating with one group privately then
spurning them in the presence of the general public
either way you’ve seen enough crucifixion to torment your dreams
eternally
alongside the memories of falling off a horse blind for 3 days
and renouncing all your cherished beliefs due to cravenness
and the cock crows
and the cock crows
and the cock crows in the courtyard
(you were supposed to be the Rock everyone depended on)
as you stand smugly over the piles of clothing of murderers
of an innocent man
each stone that splays Stephen's blood is like music to your ears
but its lost its melody
because the girl you want to love you
most likely will never love you back


-------------------*dedicated to Alesana – A Lunatic’s Lament

Lyrics*

If only you could see
(If only you could see)
You're the only girl
I've ever dreamed of
If only you could see
(If only you could see)

Should I apologize
with such pathetic eyes
Just the sight of you has made me
sick tonight (tonight)
It was your poison kiss
that turned me into this
Then again there is a chance
you could be right.

Darling will you please (please)
take a walk with me
We could count the stars
and disappear
(I wish you could see)
I wish you could see
You're the only girl
I've ever dreamed of

Are you satisfied?
Are you satisfied?
Are you satisfied?

What fate has led me here?
Oh please forgive me dear.
I don't know if I could survive
on my own
I could have married you,
instead I buried you
Now we'll see
if I can fall asleep alone (alone)

Darling will you please (please)
take a walk with me
We can count the stars
and disappear
(I wish you could see)
I wish you could see
You're the only girl
I've ever dreamed of

Are you satisfied?
(Are you satisfied?)
The nightmare's coming true
Are you satisfied?
(Are you satisfied?)

Are you satisfied?
(Are you satisfied?)
I did it all for you.
Are you satisfied?
(Are you satisfied?)

I wish you could see
You're the only girl
I've ever dreamed of

Darling will you please (please)
take a walk with me
We can count the stars
and disappear
(I wish you could see)
I wish you could see
You're the only girl
I've ever dreamed of

Are you satisfied?
(Are you satisfied?)
Are you satisfied?
(Are you satisfied?)

The depth of a man's soul
can not be measured in a matter
of meters and fathoms
but rather it is in my opinion
only quantified by his proximity
to heaven and hell.

It was in such a state that
I ushered myself past
the town tavern,
bursting at the seams with
the sounds of laughter

and Had it only been a different night,
a different place, a different kind
of man passing by the threshold
of that innocent pub.
runken piano playing.

The events that transpired
at that point would have
undoubtedly been drastically different.

I can only guess if anyone outside that place
had a clue when the exclamations
of mirth became the desperate
screams of the helpless,
begging for their very lives.

Anna Kendrick, Your Warmth Makes Me Bring Forth Buds

--------Anna Kendrick, Your Warmth Makes Me Bring Forth Buds


Anna, without you
the entirety of my life is a cluster of twelve rods
of misguided love hewn out of a tree forsaken
the wood of those destined to die alone
(yes Ive had my heart broken badly before)
preceded by murmurings from the others around me
Simeon, Judah, Issachar, Zebulun, Benjamin,
Dan, Naphtali, Gad, Asher, Ephraim and Manasseh
espousing various theories as to my prolonged singleness
debasing my worth
they say my pursuits in romance are vapid
ordinarily unimpressive, not worth keeping
brittle firewood – food for maggots
a repellant for mesmerizing girls like you
and so I have always tried my best to persevere resisting the urge
to capitulate....and rot from within
in their company I have grown accustomed to feeling unbecoming
unsightly dead weight
but that was before we met, baby
my life has never been the same
your kindness to me has been Moses, a herald of the best times
that lie ahead
your eyes are like the hands of Aaron lifting my self esteem
and the honor of being in the presence of your beauty gives me the
prestige of a Levite
when we're together it feels like
being placed in the tabernacle of the witness of your endearing favor
showing partiality
its like you always saw something special the others were heedless of
and the kisses from your lips
make me bloom blossoms, yield almonds


(Your love makes the murmuring stop, girl. Thanks so much for choosing me!)



-------------------Numbers 17:1-10
And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, Speak unto the children of Israel, and take of every one of them a rod according to the house of their fathers, of all their princes according to the house of their fathers twelve rods: write thou every man's name upon his rod. And thou shalt write Aaron's name upon the rod of Levi: for one rod shall be for the head of the house of their fathers. And thou shalt lay them up in the tabernacle of the congregation before the testimony, where I will meet with you. And it shall come to pass, that the man's rod, whom I shall choose, shall blossom: and I will make to cease from me the murmurings of the children of Israel, whereby they murmur against you. And Moses spake unto the children of Israel, and every one of their princes gave him a rod apiece, for each prince one, according to their fathers' houses, even twelve rods: and the rod of Aaron was among their rods. And Moses laid up the rods before the LORD in the tabernacle of witness. And it came to pass, that on the morrow Moses went into the tabernacle of witness; and, behold, the rod of Aaron for the house of Levi was budded, and brought forth buds, and bloomed blossoms, and yielded Almonds. And Moses brought out all the rods from before the LORD unto all the children of Israel: and they looked, and took every man his rod. And the LORD said unto Moses, Bring Aaron's rod again before the testimony, to be kept for a token against the rebels; and thou shalt quite take away their murmurings from me, that they die not.

Genesis 2:18 - dedicated to *J*

And this loneliness has reached an apex
Its cutting, I can hardly move
I feel this dry, cracked dirt – parched land, burning
drought- inducing thirst, deep and wide
inside of me
and it must be quenched or
I feel like I just cant go on
I need someone beside me to share my thoughts
someone to stare into my eyes
and kiss my lips flooding my heart with peace
and contentment
I need a language, and laughter, and music
and family
because being alone is like the Sun
scorching my resolve unprotected and bare
(somewhere outside this Garden)
life is wearisome
and disjointed because everything else around me
cant comprehend how destitute I feel
without a mate
or veritable desires...all is mitigated without you
I cant feel, I cant emote
I have no soul
scorned by all the animals who watch me
watch them, and envy
or nonplussed as I constantly stare at my reflection
in the tigris
when the moon is full at night
intimating and simulating what an actual partner
might look like, pretending I was talking
to someone else who loved me
but they know, just as I do
that this existence cant continue unabated
at this rate I will never sustain a heartbeat
or succession of breaths
(this is not good)

Gabourey Sidibe, Teach Me To Love You Right (Or Else I'll Die)

---------------/Gabourey Sidibe, Your Love Owns/Kills! (Teach Me To Love You)

Gabby,
I have tried all I can
to sway your heart, consulting my varied emotions like
captains of thousands and hundreds
on how to properly enquire after your love
since I last tried such a conquest in the days of my ex-girlfriend “Saul”
(which of course, ended ignominiously)
all the assembly of my thoughts
from the most arrogant regions in my brain like Shihor in Egypt
to the most pessimistic and melancholy like in Hamath
agreed to set aside differences for once and harmonize.
(my determination like Israel united from scattered lands)
because falling for someone like you seemed right to all-
someone mesmerizing, intelligent, successful
enrapturing
so I finally set out to try my hand in Kirjath Jearim,
the place you are fondest of and hang out the most
and I courageously abandoned my angst in Baalah
bringing a fresh cart of hope and expectation from the house of Abinadab:
my childhood dreams of finding a glorious wife,
on which to place your longings for a relationship
-the ark of your covenant of love-
and I played the music of elation (before you)
harps, on stringed instruments, on tambourines, on cymbals,
and with trumpets
hoping all the while that before I got to Chidon's threshing floor
you would be mine - forever
and Ahio and Uzza, my anticipation and enthusiasm, drove the cart
but the oxen of your ill-favor must have slipped somehow
because you suddenly killed my expectation (for us to be together)
by squelching my zeal with your cold rejection of my advances
when all I did was allow my enthusiasm
to reach out and try and quell your discontent
what am I doing wrong? what was wrong with that?
How can I bring the ark of your love and acceptance to me?
I dont understand


(Teach me how to love you, baby! Im so angry I cant win you over!!!)




1 Chronicles 13:1-12---------
Then David consulted with the captains of thousands and hundreds, and with every leader. And David said to all the assembly of Israel, "If it seems good to you, and if it is of the LORD our God, let us send out to our brethren everywhere who are left in all the land of Israel, and with them to the priests and Levites who are in their cities and their common-lands, that they may gather together to us; and let us bring the ark of our God back to us, for we have not inquired at it since the days of Saul." Then all the assembly said that they would do so, for the thing was right in the eyes of all the people. So David gathered all Israel together, from Shihor in Egypt to as far as the entrance of Hamath, to bring the ark of God from Kirjath Jearim. And David and all Israel went up to Baalah, to Kirjath Jearim, which belonged to Judah, to bring up from there the ark of God the LORD, who dwells between the cherubim, where His name is proclaimed. So they carried the ark of God on a new cart from the house of Abinadab, and Uzza and Ahio drove the cart. Then David and all Israel played music before God with all their might, with singing, on harps, on stringed instruments, on tambourines, on cymbals, and with trumpets. And when they came to Chidon's threshing floor, Uzza put out his hand to hold the ark, for the oxen stumbled. Then the anger of the LORD was aroused against Uzza, and He struck him because he put his hand to the ark; and he died there before God. And David became angry because of the LORD's outbreak against Uzza; therefore that place is called Perez Uzza to this day. David was afraid of God that day, saying, "How can I bring the ark of God to me?"