Ylos

Ylos*
I feel decrepit within
like I lost my manhood when you smiled at me
and I turned away my glance
You welcomed me with your disposition
and I sneered
but I didn’t really sneer but it probably had that affect
I returned your kindness
with deafening silence
I absconded into the night – during the day
with all your dignity
I never wanted to treat anyone this way….

Its just – you told me you had a boyfriend
that you couldn’t do lunch
...what was I to make of that?
if I befriend you, it would be like stepping on a poison adder
like consenting to conspiracy
like using our conversation as a subterfuge
(I dont want trouble with nobody, Im not bellicose)
I wanted you

You knew that

How could I treacherously plot to take another man’s girl?
I would not want that same fate dealt me
So I stonewall the exchange of any pleasantries
out of respect – for you, him, and me
I don’t want that to be our legacy – that I am a pilferer
of love

No – you enjoy your boyfriend
Im sorry that you just don’t quite understand this