(un) WANTED

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. John 15:16

No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him, and I will raise him up at the last day. John 6:44

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I know the feeling all too well, jilted and spurned
castigated by your disdain
you don't want me, I get it
and I will never be good enough for you
youre unattainable
and I will never ever be with you
never
ever
be with you
I could never

The cold winds will blow at my back
the night sky will overtake me on my walk home
wolves howl, predators roam
phantoms maraud
and Im alone again, my expectations long since abandoned me
they left when your jeering stopped
candles are burning in the hallway but
I turn the bathroom lights off, leave the door ajar
sitting in the shower running water
my shadow undulates as I cry


And the finality sinks in
and the throbbing pain of dejection pulses
through my body
like an orphan never chosen is my heart
I am nothing
to you (and never will be)

But in the morning the light will dawn
a new horizon will guide me to it
I will awake and tread again
the One who breathed into my lungs will sustain me yet another day

There is hope, there is forgiveness, there is a real chance
for change
opportunities abound, doors are waiting to be opened
the veil of my tears will stop
sorrows will be supplanted by joys
because there is One who Wants me above all
so I am never totally unwanted
I am always, and have always been chosen

I am special...