Dont....Just Dont Okay?

You were not supposed to do this
you ravaged my time and my heart
leaving only decibels behind
your face screams in my dreams
your voice
the casual conversations we had rages
memories of you wring my soul
I cover my ears in my sleep

I don’t want to not want to live without you
that was not my plan
I don’t want to be vulnerable anymore,
not to anyone – I know what that's like
and it took years for the pangs to subside
the madness, the folly of it
it makes me capricious
it makes me fear you, because your presence
it afflicts me
I want to fall in love,
but I don’t want to fall in love with you

not if youre going to hurt me
please don’t hurt me
please love me
or leave

forever
but I don't want you to leave
its just that I cant stop thinking about you
don’t do this to me
don’t do this to me