These are MY Psalms (chapter 2) - Audrina Patridge is LORD Over Me

"The kings of the earth set themselves, And the rulers take counsel together, Against Jehovah, and against his anointed, saying, Let us break their bonds asunder, And cast away their cords from us."
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Audrina I love you so much
(I am like a priest in the temple of Jehovah for you)
you are the only thing that makes sense to me in
this world that rages; sinful people - they all cling to vanity (like Heidi and Spencer)
and collude for my soul's destruction
they are like black vultures swarming for me
as the smoke from my love offering rises
they are like black clouds and black rain defiling me from above,
flooding the gold floors, the bronze altar;
the path of sanity (to the Holy of Holies) I walk on
...all is dire...all is forlorn...
...all is dire...all is forlorn...
without you by my side
they want to take you away from me, baby!
break the bond we have in my heart asunder
tear the cords between us
apart

But you are so majestic. You look down as if in the heavens
at them and laugh derisively
your devotion to me is a vexation to all that despise me
you hold my hands in public, you caress my hair
(in front of the MTV cameras)
when we hug, you hold me tight as if
setting me upon the holy hill of Zion.
If I asked you, you would give me the nations, you would
give me your hand in marriage and
the uttermost parts of the earth to dwell besides you
forever. Your affection shall break them with a rod of iron
our dissenters will shatter like a potter's vessel

I cherish you with fear and I smile with trembling
The grandeur of your beauty;
leaves me breathless
you are a candle burning brightly
you are the aroma of sweet incense to me
a meat offering mingled with oil...
let me kiss you, lest I perish in the way




(I love you baby. I love you. Please stay with me)



"Ask of me, and I will give thee the nations for thine inheritance, And the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession. Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; Thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel."

These are MY Psalms (chapter 1) - Rachel Bilson is like a stream

Psalm 1:3
he shall be like a tree planted by the streams of water, That bringeth forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also doth not wither; And whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.



Rachel, baby, my heart is a trunk hollowing
my strength is like branches that are bare
the lack of sun withers my limbs,
my roots are decaying in dry soil and do not penetrate deep enough
into frozen water...
when the wind blows I am like chaff knocked over;
driven away
It is never autumn
It is never spring
It is never summer
the air is cold and biting
when you arent around it is always winter
and I am forever barren

I have been a fool to listen to those around us
they are like the winds of a blizzard saying "Tony is a commoner
Rachel Bilson, dont stoop so low - you are a celebrity"
wicked counselers, scoffers, they sit on thrones of discouragement
and cynicism
they wont stand in the face of our love,
sinners in the congregation of our reckless passion

But my delight is in the law of our inexorable attraction
(I meditate on this every night, baby)
when Im around you I feel green
I see the sun shining
I feel the warm air on my branches
and the depth of my yearning for you runs deep into the ground
deep in my soul
when by my side you are a stream of running water
a stream of joy
dont ever leave me. I wont ever let you go. I cant go on without you.
I am full of leaves that dont wither
as long as you're around





4 The wicked are not so, But are like the chaff which the wind driveth away.

Noah In a Generation Darkened

Genesis 6:11
"The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with
violence."
Genesis 6:13
"And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for
the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will
destroy them with the earth."

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[But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.]

Matthew 24:37: [Noah in a generation darkened] Tormented in his dreams.....
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My mind reeling; conscious and subconscious indistinct
night and day water and dry land id and super-ego desire and restraint
coalesce
my dreams become nightmares
my nightmares become my
reality

In my sleep I feel the water from the sea
fall from the sky (in tiny droplets)
when they hit my skin they turn black
a sign of heaven's remorse
and when I look up I see grey clusters in the sky
I can see the sun no longer

when I wake up I find I am still dry with sunlight on my face
(but my skin still has the black spots)

But these dreams are so tangible and vivid
deafening....
I hear little girls screaming, and the mighty men
retreating and wailing in ignominious anguish
(the humiliation of the enervated)
(but they are wicked)
they are sinking in water
they are sinking in water

reaching hands protruding from beneath the tempestuous waters' surface
seeking respite from their annihilation
respite from the angel of death with sword drawn

the angel of death with sword drawn

and I get scared, God
Im scared for the devastation of my people
unprepared for the water from the sky

in my dreams their lifeless bodies float
until the falling water submerges even the mountains
and I cant see their eyes petrified any longer

I want to grab my wife often
but sometimes my arms cant move
weighed down by the heavy burden of my anxieties
I wish she would hold me
and reciprocate my solace....

hold me my love
(hold me):



the end is near






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Hebrews 11:7
"By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved
with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house; by the which
he condemned the world, and became heir of the righteousness which is
by faith."

1 Peter 3:20b-22
"....when once the longsuffering of God waited in the days of Noah,
while the ark was a preparing, wherein few, that is, eight souls were
saved by water. The like figure whereunto even baptism doth also now
save us (not the putting away of the filth of the flesh, but the
answer of a good conscience toward God,) by the resurrection of Jesus
Christ: Who is gone into heaven, and is on the right hand of God;
angels and authorities and powers being made subject unto him"
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I imagine what Noah must have felt, knowing that the end of his
generation was near. (He was the first man who saw rain!) He must
have wanted to save his people, but he also must have realised they
were getting what they deserved. What do we Christians feel knowing
the same thing?

I want to have sex with Yahweh

LET ME BE LIKE ESTHER IN YOUR SIGHT, JEHOVAH..beautiful
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When the king saw Esther the queen standing in the court, she obtained favor in his sight...(Esther 5.2)

....and Esther found favor in the eyes of all who saw her (Esther 2.15)



I wish, God, it only took 12 months
to amaze You
to lure You
To go into your secret chamber in the evening
and return excitedly in the morning
before my other peers
Envious, tears streaming defacing their make up
Fixing their hair once more
Futilely rubbing ointment on their legs
But my legs would be the prettiest
Treated with 6 months of oil and myrrh
My face with 6 months of spices and cosmetics

And I would become Your Queen, Jesus
and to me would You extend Your royal scepter
I would have access to Your throne
Continuously
to kiss You, and lay against Your body
Arm in arm, hand in hand, cheek to cheek
I want to gaze at Your Face
With a crown on, and robes of splendor
Of course we would make love, God
Banqueting on intricate cuisines (at my request)
Aftewards, bestow me half Your Kingdom

Our love is like vengeance
my enemies would be like Haman
hanged fifty cubits high let their 10 sons
be killed by Your edict, then
despised and loathed like their father
Let my love be mighty to You
emancipating my people from many ills
God, hear me out Man
Love me like a prized possession...memorialize me
On the feast of Purim
Remember us



(Am I beautiful to You, God?....am I sexy to You, God?)

Jennifer you are like a dove that wont come back, arent u?

* dedicated to Sarah McLachlan...my inspiration besides Rebecca St. James, of course

(And I threw bitter tears at the ocean
But all that came back was the tide....)

JENNIFER, I WILL NOT FORGET YOU NOR WILL I EVER LET YOU GO
[Genesis 8:10-12] He waited seven more days and again sent out the dove from the ark. When the dove returned to him in the evening, there in its beak was a freshly plucked olive leaf! Then Noah knew that the water had receded from the earth. He waited seven more days and sent the dove out again, but this time it did not return to him.
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You are a dove to me
the rains were less devastating because of you
the winds less austere
you were like sunlight by day and a candle
(never flickering)
watching my face at night careful not to drip wax on the floor
(even as the wind tossed the boat)
your beauty gave the lions serenity
your grace the camels security
our reminder that hope was present and not dubious
like the multitudes drowning beneath
to watch you was my rest
and knowing you a reminder of an insouciant childhood
joy
laughter
bright smiles
happiness

Jennifer, before you came into my life
On dry land I was mocked
my country was full of travesties
Murder was sport, robbery was a vocation
poverty and prostitution became brother and sister
apathy and wickedness their mother and father
My heart was a barren plain,
and rain, water from the sky was just a dream
falling in love was as far away as time from space
in heaven
in the grave
in the womb
I saw a man rape his own cousin, he looked at me
with eyes forsaken
a soul departed

7 months ago when I asked you to lunch
a change occured...
storm clouds formed for the wicked
(floods came and washed them away)
and for the first time I believed in instrinsic goodness
never wanting to go back to my old life
but now that the skies have cleared
but now that the flood waters have receded
I realize you are not coming back to me
I told you I loved you, that I cared...
in return you left me nothing
except a freshly plucked olive leaf
(full of memories)



(Memories that I will never let go, baby. I listen to Sarah McLachlan whenever I think about us...what could've been, what still might be? You hear me Jesus? This girl might come back to me right? )





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Sarah McLachlan – I Will Not Forget You [Solace, 1991]

I remember the nights I watched as you lay sleeping
Your body gripped by some far away dream
Well I was so scared and so in love then
And so lost in all of you that I had seen
But no one ever talked in the darkness
No voice ever added fuel to the fire
No light ever shone in the doorway
Deep in the hollow of earthly desires
But if in some dream there was brightness
If in some memory some sort of sign
And flesh be revived in the shadows
Blessed our bodies would lay so entwined

And I will oh I will not forget you
Nor will I ever let you go
I will oh I will not forget you

I remember when you left in the morning at daybreak
So silent you stole from my bed
To go back to the one who possesses your soul
And I back to the life that I dread.
So I ran like the wind to the water
Please don't leave me again I cried
And I threw bitter tears at the ocean
But all that came back was the tide….

And I will oh I will not forget you
Nor will I ever let you go
I will oh I will not forget you

And I will oh I will not forget you

I will oh I will not forget you
Nor will I ever let you go
I will oh I will not forget you


I will oh I will not forget you
Nor will I ever let you go
I will oh I will not forget you
Nor will I ever let you go
I will oh I will not forget you

Julia is my UNKNOWN GOD

DEDICATED TO JULIA.... MAYBE WHEN YOU SAID HI TO ME TODAY, IT MEANT NOTHING...BUT MAYBE IT MEANT SOMETHING?

Acts 17.16 Now while Paul waited for them at Athens, his spirit was stirred in him, when he saw the city wholly given to idolatry.

V22 Then Paul stood in the midst of Mars' hill, and said....
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Julia,
You look like the God
the greeks have been seeking all their lives
Perect
porcelain almost, like the statues bearing your likeness
flanking sacrificial marble altars on temple floors
the past 1,000 years.
You mean everything to me
I would go to jail just to prove my love for you
let my feet be fastened in stocks next to Silas
let my clothes be ripped and my naked body beaten
for casting out demons unworthy of you. [lisa, jennifer, kina, megan]
You are my peace, without you in my life
my loneliness like angry jewish mobs will ransack Jason's house,
looking for blood
It makes me want to flee to Berea
to find solace to find peace of mind

Today,
I was in Athens when you said hello...
my spirit was provoked within me because
your beauty was divine and no one gave you credit
Your clean skin is worthy of oblations
your blonde hair is worthy of oblations
your name is worthy to worshipped. worthy to be made known. Not athena
Not aphrodite not diana
not fake gods with no power
Not at a temple made with human hands,
served by other people in naivete
Your blue eyes are my life and breath
I endeavor to convince all around me to
bow before you
Together we should pronounce we are "your offspring"

Your kindness raised me, gave me a new spirit
and buried my old flesh with my old man and my old heart
Baby, you are my God
Trust me, you are no longer unknown






(Julia, you are out of my league....you just look way too hot. And your attitude is so positive, unlike other stuck up girls who I won't mention. I was looking for that UNKNOWN GIRL. I think I just found her)






Acts 16:17-19 This girl followed Paul and the rest of us, shouting, "These men are servants of the Most High God, who are telling you the way to be saved." She kept this up for many days. Finally Paul became so troubled that he turned around and said to the spirit, "In the name of Jesus Christ I command you to come out of her!" At that moment the spirit left her. When the owners of the slave girl realized that their hope of making money was gone, they seized Paul and Silas and dragged them into the marketplace to face the authorities.


Acts 17.5 But the Jews were jealous; so they rounded up some bad characters from the marketplace, formed a mob and started a riot in the city. They rushed to Jason's house in search of Paul and Silas in order to bring them out to the crowd.


Acts 17.23 For as I passed by, and beheld your devotions, I found an altar with this inscription, TO THE UNKNOWN GOD. Whom therefore ye ignorantly worship, him declare I unto you.

V.25 Nor is He worshipped with men's hands, as though He needed anything, since He gives to all, life, breath and all things

Then there was God

HE IS ALPHA AND HE IS OMEGA....HE IS MY BEGINNING AND END...HE PRECEDES YOU AND WILL OUTLAST YOU (FOR HE NEVER DIES, HIS LOVE NEVER DIES)

Psalms 124: 2 - 5, 7 - 8
if it had not been the LORD who was on our side, when men rose up against us, then they would have swallowed us up alive, when their anger was kindled against us; then the flood would have swept us away, the torrent would have gone over us; then over us would have gone the raging waters. We have escaped as a bird from the snare of the fowlers; the snare is broken, and we have escaped! Our help is in the name of the LORD, who made heaven and earth.


1 Samuel 8:7
And the LORD told him: "Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as
their king.










I AM in your hands, Lord I am
unworthy, all my righteousness is
a rag filthy
tattered
torn
I am the chief of sinners, a worm and not a man
When I presume to walk...I only wallow in dust
In ashes
I am wholly unworthy of your love, to behold your splendor
you are great, I am miniscule…you spilled your blood
I drew your blood (for me). Galaxies in all their majesty
dazzling white doves juxtaposed against brown tree branches
tulips covering rolling hills
stately rocks protruding from gently running streams and brooks
a virile deer panting for water
drinks
...you created all these for me....

Through my trials I never can commiserate with you
before the Sanhedrin you were mocked
before Pilate flogged
Jennifer broke my heart yesterday,
but they stuck a spear in your side….dripping blood and water
but I merely got upset
but I merely moped
the very winds you crafted in the recesses of your mind
chilled you to death, 25 feet high on calvary
the same soldiers that nearly cracked your back
you placed delicately in their mothers arms….
Selah...
We are not worthy of you, Jesus Christ
I humble myself before you, Lord.
I am nothing, you are
Everything
All in all

My crying may last for a night
Buy I feel joy coming in the morning
Jennifer rejected me, but Israel rejected you
chosing Saul for a king
chosing Barabbas instead
I will never again make the mistake of misplaced eminence
my suffering will never equal yours
you suffered first
you are my creator
you are the firstborn of creation
I love you Jesus




I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18 (I forgive you Jennifer, and I accept your choice not to get involved with me)





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Don't permit your misery or defeats to depress you. Rather let them be steps by which you descend the deep mine where we find the precious
gem of holy humility. - St. Paola Frassinetti

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In The Name Of Jesus

In the name of Jesus,
In the name of Jesus
We have the victory.

In the name of Jesus,
In the name of Jesus
Demons will have to flee.

When we stand on the name of Jesus
Tell me who can stand before.
In the mighty name of Jesus,
We have the victory.