You Are My Chariot of Amminadib

I went down to the garden of nuts to see the verdure of the valley, to see whether the vine had budded and the pomegranates had bloomed. Before I was even aware, my soul had made me as the chariots of my noble people. (Song of Solomon 6:11-12)

[[or v12 can be translated as – "or ever I was aware, my soul made me like the chariots of Amminadib"]]

-----------------------------------------Song of Solomon Saga Chapter 6: My Chariot of Amminadib

I think I may never fall in love again
for no other woman is your equal
I used to stare at my reflection in pools at night
and see morose
barely able to walk
barely able to traverse from despair to apathy
apathy to lethargy, lethargy to tepid indifference
and without you in my life I was reticent
to merely lift my eyes to the sun
fearful that light would reveal my plight
and evanesce
and leave me in darkness
twice – my heart and my eyes
but now, you are my incandescent glow
my candle, fire in dark places of my soul
at the bleakest of hours
you are resurrection from death
I went down to the garden of nuts, (the crossroads of my hopes and dreams)
to see the verdure of the valley
to see if the pomegranates of my desire for you
had bloomed
that’s when you smiled at me
and before I was even aware
you made me spry
I jump for joy, I outrun doubt and discouragement
before they even know I left
I ride my aspiration like I have reins in my hands
and two horses: glee, and excitement
that wont slow down
you make me feel noble
like I have never have before
falling for you is like sitting inside a chariot
rejoicing with silent tears

Sleep While Yearning

* To my future wife.....(maybe I'll meet you before this Saga ends?!)

[dedicated to this girl *, who I want badly - please dont run from me!]

I sleep, but my heart is awake; it is the voice of my beloved! He knocks, saying, "open for me, my sister, my love, my dove, my perfect one; for my head is covered with dew, my locks with the drops of the night." I have taken off my robe; how can I put it on again? I have washed my feet; how can I defile them? My beloved put his hand by the latch of the door, and my heart yearned for him. (Song of Solomon 5:2-4)

----------------------Song of Solomon Saga Chapter 5: Sleep While Yearning


Life is anguish
in the silence you leave behind in your wake
you are my perfect one
your face stains the walls, irreversibly
your voice reverberates in every room I occupy;
your memories have become family, the closest of kin
every night, at the hour my lovelorn pain is most acute
rain falls steadily into downpour
as I stare out the open windows. hoping for your return
-that the moon would illuminate your road home-
I am sad because I cant clasp your facial expressions tightly
an embrace
in my mind, or encapsulate your most recent laughter
for my daydreaming
I want you to get your hair wet for me: remove your distrust,
that hermetic, stoic, misanthropic robe
and wash your feet from the dusty paths of fear of commitment
because once you fall in love with me
you will never be able to defile them, or clothe yourself again
nakedness and vulnerability
I wish you would put your hand on the latch of my door
because you know I would never bar your entry
my ears would never spurn your words "open for me, my love"
I close my eyes as the shadows fall and think of you without cease
until the morning sun taps me and says you still aren't here
I never sleep
I need you by me
my heart yearns for you, always

You are Honey, You Always Will Be

* To my future wife.....(maybe I'll meet you before this Saga ends?!)

You have ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse; you have ravished my heart with one look of your eyes, with one link of your necklace. How fair is your love, my sister, my spouse! How much better than wine is your love, and the scent of your perfumes than all spices! Your lips, O my spouse, drip as the honeycomb; Honey and milk are under your tongue; and the fragrance of your garments Is like the fragrance of Lebanon. (Song of Solomon 4:9-11)

----------------------------/Song of Solomon Saga Chapter 4: Honey

You are bedazzling
I remember you had this necklace on when last we spoke
not too long ago
I was tentative, fumbling for words
because falling for you so fast is scary
exhilarating
you have ravished my heart with one look of your eyes,
with one link of your necklace
and all I want is to keep pace with you
praying secretly that you wont leave me behind – (like
so many before you)....trying to ward off intoxication:
being around you is like inebriation induced by the finest of drinks
yet I surmise much better than wine is your love
I want to drink
for the rest of my life reclining on your lap
running my fingers across your lips
as your words pour forth like milk and honey
nourishing my soul and indulging my fantasies sweet
your clothes smell like Lebanon, pleasant, glorious
like a sister to my Jerusalem, like a sister
....with love fair, with love beautiful
so let me be your brother
your beau
your spouse
your friend
and allow me finally to sleep –
because without you my body is of rest bereft
and my eyes constantly shed tears
realizing without you my life is forever altered and incomplete
(screaming out your name)
You have ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse

(Everything is different now)

Your Love Makes My Fears Disappear

* To my future wife.....(maybe I'll meet you before this Saga ends?!)

Who is this coming out of the wilderness like pillars of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, with all the merchant's fragrant powders? Behold, it is Solomon's couch, with sixty valiant men around it, of the valiant of Israel. They all hold swords, being expert in war. Every man has his sword on his thigh because of fear in the night. (Song of Songs 3:6-8)

-------------Song of Solomon Saga Chapter 3: Your Love Makes My Fears Disappear

When I first laid eyes on you - I knew
it was the end of all melancholy
my heart contracted
breath shortened, hands trembled, mouth stood agape
silence draped my consciousness
as if I was suspended between celestial lands
and a vivid dream
that I’ve been praying for since I was a boy
your presence metamorphosed my perceptions
of who I was, am, and are to be – mysterious and dazzling
like pillars of smoke, coming out of the wilderness of my time lost
spent shedding tears on the barren plains, rocks, and dessert shrubs
of anticipatory love, chasing after falling stars hoping
because facing you makes everything about me suddenly aromatic
my fate jovial perfumed with the myrrh and frankincense
of a future life well lived, and filled with your tender embraces
you are royalty
my soul's luminary
reclined on a couch of my most sacred hopes
cherished and guarded by my desires and intentions
and affections and kisses
like sixty valiant men with sharp swords
(on their thighs)
expert in war
trained in the art of never letting you go
because I will never be lonely again
and never need solace from those
who cant comfort me in the special way you can
allaying my consternation about being unloved
who cant hold me close and keep me warm
because of fear in the night



(You are my morning, my sun, my new day)

So Long Bitter Winter

* To my future wife.....(maybe I'll meet you before this Saga ends?!)

"Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. The fig tree puts forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grapes give a good smell. Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away! (Song of Solomon 2:10b-13)

--------------The Song of Solomon Saga Chapter 2: So Long Bitter Winter


Snowflakes would fall every time I called your name
and you didn't answer
my brumal shrills echoed
dislodging snow from tree limbs - and wolves shuddered
I would submerge myself, weeping, in the white blanket
of isolation you left behind in my frost bitten heart
needing someone so badly yet left wanting
frigid memories and ice cold rain

But that was a different epoch and ethos
before I knew your beauty, and the warmth of your smile
you are my sun
shining brightly vivifying my confidence - the singing in my soul
the notion of us together, holding hands comforts me
like flowers do
it is the voice of turtledoves in the land
flying overhead (landing on our fingers) as we sit on grassy knolls and
feed each other green figs
of never experiencing disconsolation again
of never having a tear stream down our cheeks completely
before a supporting thumb from our beloved
wipes the streams of feeling forsaken from our eyes
Feed me grapes, with a good smell,
of your tender presence, my love
come close to me and inhale my breath
(knowing my breathing will stop if you ever leave)
rise up and come away with me
forever in love,
so that the storm clouds never again overtake our gait
so that it never gets cold again
Spring

(My) Cold Sweats Of the Solitary

* To my future wife....(maybe I’ll meet you before this Saga ends?!)

Tell me, O you whom I love,
Where you feed your flock,
Where you make it rest at noon.
For why should I be as one who veils herself
By the flocks of your companions? (Song of Solomon 1:7)

--------------------Song of Solomon Saga Chapter 1/ Cold Sweats Of The Solitary

[[[[Tell me, O you whom I love, Where you feed your flock, Where you make it rest at noon.]]]]


I imagine us
in a waterfront dining district
some swanky metropolis
entering a posh restaurant overlooking
tributaries that flow through the city into the nearest sea
its current flows steadily under the gaze of the full moon
bathed in an alabaster glow
cloudless sky, balmy night
our table is in an alcove with windows closest to water’s ledge
white table cloth, white flowers (white vase), white napkins
(red candles)
peering down we can see ourselves reflected
though distorted in the small ripples
and I stare into your eyes
red skinny tie, skinny jeans, grey blazer
red chucks
you in a white summer dress, flattering
with white sandals
I want to reach out and tenderly place
your stray hair strands behind your ear...
but then I awake
alone in my bed, sweating....my room heater inducing
sweltering heat, (yet my soul is coldly detached)
heart pulsating frenetically
forlorn blood throughout my forlorn veins
by now I've forgotten what your face looks like
realizing that ineffable comfort I felt
was a mere phantom
just wishing you would tell me, my love
where I can find you
so these bitter pangs of loneliness can finally cease…

[[[For why should I be as one who veils himself
By the flocks of your companions? ]]]

A Martyr's Salute

When they heard these things they were cut to the heart, and they gnashed at him with their teeth. But he, being full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God, and said, "Look! I see the heavens opened and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God!” Then they cried out with a loud voice, stopped their ears, and ran at him with one accord; and they cast him out of the city and stoned him. And the witnesses laid down their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul. And they stoned Stephen as he was calling on God and saying, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." Then he knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, "Lord, do not charge them with this sin." And when he had said this, he fell asleep. Acts 7:54-60


--------Acts Chronicles Chapter 7: Jesus Stood- The Thoughts Of Jesus Upon Seeing Stephen Stoned

Certain things in life cut to the heart
and make you gnash your teeth together
like being unfaithful to a spouse, or
the proclivity to tell a lie as opposed to truth
or even exploiting the innocent for trivial gain
pilfering the last morsel of food from an invalid’s table
(by overtaxing and underpaying)
murdering the innocent, smirking at your reflection in his blood
as you shirk off underneath the glow of the moon
and yet life is rife with these sorts of phenomena
especially Jerusalem, even whilst Romans rule
Jewish citizens living dissolute lives
hearts wandering from the Messiah they so often lobby for
and so you pick-up stones
to quell the anger, the remorse and the shame
from spurning your heritage and worshipping
false gods of man-made customs and contrived rituals
substitutes for the innocent wonder
that accompanied our fathers' in the desert
as the red sea parted for us – yet drowned our enemies
thinking that death will silence the internal critics
within your consciousness (it wont)
but I can see the clouds cleave
and a new generation, a new epoch
nascent but with firm roots afoot
flourishing and displacing the old corrupt nature
nullifying the effects lingering from Eden
people who believe in hope rather than despair,
and would die for justice rather than take bribes
even amidst an onslaught of slander
with forgiveness in their hearts
for vile men


(I stand and salute this generation)
http://www.soaringspider.com/HeStoodUp.php