Take Me To Mount Horeb #TaylorDateTony

* Jesus pray for me
* dedicated to Taylor Swift
#TaylorDateTony

HEY GUYS!!! WHEN I SAY TAY...YOU SAY TAY!!!
[ME: TAY
YOU: TAY!!!]
OH TAYTAY!!!! (Sorry #CalvinHarris)


+----------------Take Me To Mount Horeb

Taylor singleness terrifies me,
Jezebel,
that fearsome queen-
face dappled with gaudy mascara
uneven eyeliner and hideous
ostentatious orchid lipstick
that fails miserably in its efforts
to provide sufficient distraction
from her rotted brown teeth-
has placed threats of death on my
dating life,
the prophets of my once buoyant optimism
to find a mate and partake in a lavish
wedding already killed by sardonic
soldiers in her sinister army of statistics
wielding their pessimistic swords
of repeated romantic rejection, now
vowing to once and for all
kill my chances of finding a soulmate,
falling in love and marrying.
The prospect of this harrowing fate
has chased me to Beersheba,
sanctum of fond dreams, the last
civilized town of my pleasant memories,
when I had a girlfriend, my passion
for our happiness together
was like a fortified wall of protection
from despair
due to the joy of her hugs and kisses.
But look at me now, I am no better
than any desperate single person,
the ones who have since given up on happiness,
my ancestors who died nobly
and beg me to convalesce with them
to spare more suffering.
Oh baby, my famished heart is leaning
against the Broom Tree of melancholy pining
away, pleading masochistically
for its own perilous and weary demise.

I need you to be my angel with blonde
hair, your two blue eyes
cerulean crystals hewn from rock
deep inside Mount Horeb of my fantasizing,
God’s Mountain of Lovers’ Consummation,
your lips like a scone baked on hot stones,
your voice a jar of cool water. Wake
me up with proclamations of
your affection for me, tell me
that my journey towards jocundity
(of matrimony, of kids, of grandkids)
will be too long without your nourishment.
If I fall asleep in disbelief, wake me
up again Taylor, tell me to eat
the food of fantasia,
drink from the jar of your sweet solace
sent to me from God to
save me from my worst fears,
you carrying me in your arms along the way.


----1 Kings 19:1-8
When Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had put all the prophets to the sword, Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, ‘May the gods do this to me and more, if by this time tomorrow I have not made your life like the life of one of them!’ He was afraid and fled for his life. He came to Beersheba, a town of Judah, where he left his servant. He himself went on into the wilderness, a day’s journey, and sitting under a furze bush wished he were dead. ‘O Lord,’ he said ‘I have had enough. Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.’ Then he lay down and went to sleep. But an angel touched him and said, ‘Get up and eat.’ He looked round, and there at his head was a scone baked on hot stones, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again. But the angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, ‘Get up and eat, or the journey will be too long for you.’ So he got up and ate and drank, and strengthened by that food he walked for forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God.