Take Me To Rome

*Saint Paul pray for me


+--------------------------------------/Acts Chronicles Chapter 23; Rome - Saint Paul's Thoughts Hunted and in Prison

The echoes of my nephew’s 
haunting warning stand opposite me
in my cell like sentinels on guard in winter,
lamps flickering in the chilled winds gusting,
the tips of their spears compassed
about every side of my neck
circumscribing my every thought.
In near pitch black I flit in and out of
full consciousness and dreaming,
seizing my chest in fear
misperceiving sweat for blood,
and in the other state blood for sweat
running and falling in recurring
fashion chased by iron chariots on the Appian Way,
(of the Romans, the Jews march behind)
felled by arrows, presentiments
of the damned, or the imminently
damned afraid of Hell because of all the wrong
he’s done, the innocents he's killed,
awaiting judgment and
deluding himself that he is still alive.
In the morning, no less than 40 men want
me hanging from a tree, my body an eclipse
obscuring the blazing sun of their spitefulness
and bitter acrimony, commending me 
to mobs thirsting for heresy seeking a martyr-
parading my severed head throughout
Jerusalem at the Passover, a black smoke
sacrifice
for the High Priest Ananias . 

When I finally awake screaming, and the centurion’s
candle gets closer as he scurries to check
on me, the only words
I can muster are “take me to Rome,”
I need salvation. 



---------------------Acts 23:11-16
And the night following the Lord stood by him, and said, Be of good cheer, Paul: for as thou hast testified of me in Jerusalem, so must thou bear witness also at Rome. And when it was day, certain of the Jews banded together, and bound themselves under a curse, saying that they would neither eat nor drink till they had killed Paul. And they were more than forty which had made this conspiracy. And they came to the chief priests and elders, and said, We have bound ourselves under a great curse, that we will eat nothing until we have slain Paul. Now therefore ye with the council signify to the chief captain that he bring him down unto you to morrow, as though ye would enquire something more perfectly concerning him: and we, or ever he come near, are ready to kill him. And when Paul's sister's son heard of their lying in wait, he went and entered into the castle, and told Paul

A Jewish Story

* Dedicated to Saint John. Pray for me.

+-------------------------/A Jewish Story; Saint John's Thoughts As He Finished His Gospel 

And this is our Aeneid, right? A
captive, vagrant people scattered,
scars on our flesh and within,
(true nomads of the heart)
seeking redemption in a New City,  
our hero sailing destiny’s
ship
on waters of our very emotive
expectancy, docking on foreign shores
for our salvation,
to establish an empire for eternity.
Leaving Heaven
must have been to him like
watching Dido burning.
Or is this Orpheus and Eurydice?
Our lover come to save us,
snake bitten and pitiable, scouring Hades
with a candle and canticles of love on
lips for his betrothed, willing
to be gashed and lacerated, 
soldiers of Pontius Pilate with nails
cruel menacing Maenades of old,
to submit his dedication for us
in eternal lore?
Or is it more than that? A bearded Galilean,
a despicable Nazarene as a
chrysalis standing before us,
like a dragon borne from Egyptian,
Babylonian and Persian oppression
walking on water, raising the dead,
feeding thousands with five barley loaves,
by
breathing fire on a boy’s two fish.
This is the story
of the God of the Jews come
down to earth casting out devils wherever
he walks- a tale of
divinity that eats and sleeps and
bleeds among us,
giving his last breath to make all of mankind
whole. Though analogous to some, I believe
this one differs…
for this is the only story
that doesn't have an ending.



----------------------John 21:24-25
This is the disciple which testifieth of these things, and wrote these things: and we know that his testimony is true. And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written. Amen

Elegy to Jacob

* dedicated to RB
* dedicated to Michael Jackson, Remember the Time
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeiFF0gvqcc

Oh RB, why doesn't thou just love me? A hee-heeee!!! OOOWWW!!!! J-mon!!! J-mon!!!!
Listen guys, so what I want a 19 year old girl? I don't care what yall say man, she baaaad!!! Oh RB!!! (oh yeah and I aint talking BOUT NO RUNNING BACK!!!!) Listen girl, don't make me Joseph, don't make me bury Jacob!!!! Fall in love with me, please? Please? Pleaaaasssee? Do you Remember the Time when we met at Christlife in Ellicott City Maryland????

+--------------------/Elegy to Jacob

It doesn’t matter to me that Ive
been in Egypt for almost 15 years, by now
Im used to the scorching winds of heartbreak,
the sea of endless
and monotonous sands of loneliness, far
removed from Canaan, thrown
into a pit of the damned by girls who repudiated
my advances, 11 shameless kin enraged by
by my passion for love, because I wore
my heart on my sleeve like
a variegated coat.  I bore the shame they meted
out to me, sold to and treated roughly by coarse
and ungainly Ishmaelites of public opinion,
a caravan of vicious gossip,
scoffing and spitting at a man who couldn’t get
a date in his twenties.
I endured patronizing condescension by Potiphar,
tempted by his wife, buxom and sultry,
 to renounce love
for promiscuous sex but I didn’t yield, imprisoned
by secular society for my impudence,
shackled in dank dungeons of darkness despairing,
staring at a black trajectory of
perpetual singleness, and trying not
to succumb to it all.  Yet, all the while
my soul cleaved to you like a sweet dream-
when I met you, at Christlife in Ellicott City
Maryland, the sun and moon and 11 stars
bowed before me.
Your face, your hazel eyes
full of inspiration are
like the father who begot me, belying your 19 years,
symbolic candle that kept me
warm in winter chained next to inmates,
the wax and wick that keeps one from being
forgotten.
And I thought I was good, your beauty
emancipated me from prison and redeemed me
from everyone’s expectations, and my
confidence soared like a man revered
in all the land,
riding in the second chariot behind Pharaoh.
But over time I realize our 14 year age gap
seems too much for you to bear isn’t it?
I wanted this to work out between us
so badly that in my prayers I fall on your face
weeping and kissing, running
my fingers through your hair implacably,
as though you were dead, as though my
existential angst will bring you back
to me breathing.
 
You imparted hope to me RB,
when all mine ran out two years ago;
for that I love you always.
 Whenever I see your pictures now I think
of Canaan,
when I was 19 just like you and gird with
exuberance (and a coat). I will spend the
next 40 days  embalming your memory,
etching a scar in my spirit for Jacob,
the funeral procession of a 33 year old man
headed to a cave in Machpelah
after seven days of protracted mourning
with all of Egypt in tow.
My 11 brothers flanking me,
collectively trembling at the thought of my
next move….


-------------------Genesis 49:33-50:14
And when Jacob had made an end of commanding his sons, he gathered up his feet into the bed, and yielded up the ghost, and was gathered unto his people. And Joseph fell upon his father's face, and wept upon him, and kissed him. And Joseph commanded his servants the physicians to embalm his father: and the physicians embalmed Israel. And forty days were fulfilled for him; for so are fulfilled the days of those which are embalmed: and the Egyptians mourned for him threescore and ten days. And when the days of his mourning were past, Joseph spake unto the house of Pharaoh, saying, If now I have found grace in your eyes, speak, I pray you, in the ears of Pharaoh, saying, My father made me swear, saying, Lo, I die: in my grave which I have digged for me in the land of Canaan, there shalt thou bury me. Now therefore let me go up, I pray thee, and bury my father, and I will come again. And Pharaoh said, Go up, and bury thy father, according as he made thee swear. And Joseph went up to bury his father: and with him went up all the servants of Pharaoh, the elders of his house, and all the elders of the land of Egypt, And all the house of Joseph, and his brethren, and his father's house: only their little ones, and their flocks, and their herds, they left in the land of Goshen. And there went up with him both chariots and horsemen: and it was a very great company. And they came to the threshingfloor of Atad, which is beyond Jordan, and there they mourned with a great and very sore lamentation: and he made a mourning for his father seven days. And when the inhabitants of the land, the Canaanites, saw the mourning in the floor of Atad, they said, This is a grievous mourning to the Egyptians: wherefore the name of it was called Abelmizraim, which is beyond Jordan. And his sons did unto him according as he commanded them: For his sons carried him into the land of Canaan, and buried him in the cave of the field of Machpelah, which Abraham bought with the field for a possession of a buryingplace of Ephron the Hittite, before Mamre. And Joseph returned into Egypt, he, and his brethren, and all that went up with him to bury his father, after he had buried his father.

----Remember the Time Lyrics

Do You Remember
When We Fell In Love
We Were Young
And Innocent Then
Do You Remember
How It All Began
It Just Seemed Like Heaven
So Why Did It End?

Do You Remember
Back In The Fall
We'd Be Together
All Day Long
Do You Remember
Us Holding Hands
In Each Other's Eyes
We'd Stare
(Tell Me)

Do You Remember The Time
When We Fell In Love
Do You Remember The Time
When We First Met
Do You Remember The Time
When We Fell In Love
Do You Remember The Time

Do You Remember
How We Used To Talk
(Ya Know)
We'd Stay On The Phone
At Night Till Dawn
Do You Remember
All The Things We Said Like
I Love You So
I'll Never Let You Go

Do You Remember
Back In The Spring
Every Morning Birds Would Sing
Do You Remember
Those Special Times
They'll Just Go On And On
In The Back Of My Mind

Do You Remember The Time
When We Fell In Love
Do You Remember The Time
When We First Met Girl
Do You Remember The Time
When We Fell In Love
Do You Remember The Time
Those Sweet Memories
Will Always Be Dear To Me
And Girl No Matter What Was Said
I Will Never Forget What We Had
Now Baby

Do You Remember The Time
When We Fell In Love
Do You Remember The Time
When We First Met
Do You Remember The Time
When We Fell In Love
Do You Remember The Time

Do You Remember The Time
When We Fell In Love
Do You Remember The Time
When We First Met
Do You Remember The Time
When We Fell In Love
Do You Remember The Time

Remember The Times
Ooh
Remember The Times
Do You Remember Girl
Remember The Times
On The Phone You And Me
Remember The Times
Till Dawn, Two Or Three
What About Us Girl

Remember The Times
Do You. Do You, Do You,
Do You, Do You
Remember The Times
In The Park, On The Beach
Remember The Times
You And Me In Spain
Remember The Times
What About, What About...

Remember The Times
Ooh... In The Park
Remember The Times
After Dark..., Do You, Do You, Do You
Remember The Times
Do You, Do You, Do You, Do You
Remember The Times
Yeah Yeah
Remember The Times

Esau For You (Oh Taylor Swift!!!!!) #TaylorDateTony

 

* Dedicated to Aerolyn, Harbinger
http://youtu.be/DqZN82gYS0A
* Dedicated to Taylor Swift #TaylorDateTony
* Dedicated to all unborn babies in the world right now
* Mary Mother of God pray for me

+-------------------------------/Esau For You

Taylor why cant we just do coffee?
My heart is pregnant with angst, like
the prospects of invigorating
romance and perpetual loneliness are fighting
within me, brothers of the fate
of my love life clasping heels, clenching
teeth like two nations poised to war
amongst themselves at birth. (Predestined
enemies converging fast upon fallopian tubes
in the womb).  
I would do anything just to see the steam
rising in front of your face, my forlorn
soul famished for the aroma of dark
roasted beans from Canaan poured
at Starbucks,
the pottage and lentils of your company,
blonde hair and blue eyes a promise of a
better tomorrow to me
after years and years of hunting
for girls to requite my affections but returning
home empty handed.   
It has been so long since Ive dated, by now
the fetuses of expectation fully grown:
the lover in me, the firstborn twin, hairy
and cunning in the fields of cynical ex-girlfriends,
the pessimistic socially depraved un-dateable
vagabond in me just a plain man
lying in tents of inertia on weekends
stirring insipid stew of memory. 
Oh baby, just
to sit at table and hear your
melodic voice meander through the minutiae
of your day would mean everything to me….
Even if you were to walk away 
never ever to speak to me again, and
I consigned to die loveless and unmarried
serving the lesser kin,
I would exchange the birthright of happily
ever after for just a few seconds
of Venti café mocha on your breath.


(Im sweating, gasping for air and panting, my palpitating heart echoing through the tent of desperation.)


------Genesis 25:19-34; 27:1-42
And these are the generations of Isaac, Abraham's son: Abraham begat Isaac: And Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebekah to wife, the daughter of Bethuel the Syrian of Padanaram, the sister to Laban the Syrian. And Isaac intreated the Lord for his wife, because she was barren: and the Lord was intreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived. And the children struggled together within her; and she said, If it be so, why am I thus? And she went to enquire of the Lord. And the Lord said unto her, Two nations are in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger. And when her days to be delivered were fulfilled, behold, there were twins in her womb. And the first came out red, all over like an hairy garment; and they called his name Esau. And after that came his brother out, and his hand took hold on Esau's heel; and his name was called Jacob: and Isaac was threescore years old when she bare them. And the boys grew: and Esau was a cunning hunter, a man of the field; and Jacob was a plain man, dwelling in tents. And Isaac loved Esau, because he did eat of his venison: but Rebekah loved Jacob. And Jacob sod pottage: and Esau came from the field, and he was faint: And Esau said to Jacob, Feed me, I pray thee, with that same red pottage; for I am faint: therefore was his name called Edom. And Jacob said, Sell me this day thy birthright. And Esau said, Behold, I am at the point to die: and what profit shall this birthright do to me? And Jacob said, Swear to me this day; and he sware unto him: and he sold his birthright unto Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau bread and pottage of lentiles; and he did eat and drink, and rose up, and went his way: thus Esau despised his birthright. And it came to pass, that when Isaac was old, and his eyes were dim, so that he could not see, he called Esau his eldest son, and said unto him, My son: and he said unto him, Behold, here am I. And he said, Behold now, I am old, I know not the day of my death: Now therefore take, I pray thee, thy weapons, thy quiver and thy bow, and go out to the field, and take me some venison; And make me savoury meat, such as I love, and bring it to me, that I may eat; that my soul may bless thee before I die. And Rebekah heard when Isaac spake to Esau his son. And Esau went to the field to hunt for venison, and to bring it. And Rebekah spake unto Jacob her son, saying, Behold, I heard thy father speak unto Esau thy brother, saying, Bring me venison, and make me savoury meat, that I may eat, and bless thee before the Lord before my death. Now therefore, my son, obey my voice according to that which I command thee. Go now to the flock, and fetch me from thence two good kids of the goats; and I will make them savoury meat for thy father, such as he loveth: And thou shalt bring it to thy father, that he may eat, and that he may bless thee before his death. And Jacob said to Rebekah his mother, Behold, Esau my brother is a hairy man, and I am a smooth man: My father peradventure will feel me, and I shall seem to him as a deceiver; and I shall bring a curse upon me, and not a blessing. And his mother said unto him, Upon me be thy curse, my son: only obey my voice, and go fetch me them. And he went, and fetched, and brought them to his mother: and his mother made savoury meat, such as his father loved. And Rebekah took goodly raiment of her eldest son Esau, which were with her in the house, and put them upon Jacob her younger son: And she put the skins of the kids of the goats upon his hands, and upon the smooth of his neck: And she gave the savoury meat and the bread, which she had prepared, into the hand of her son Jacob. And he came unto his father, and said, My father: and he said, Here am I; who art thou, my son? And Jacob said unto his father, I am Esau thy first born; I have done according as thou badest me: arise, I pray thee, sit and eat of my venison, that thy soul may bless me. And Isaac said unto his son, How is it that thou hast found it so quickly, my son? And he said, Because the Lord thy God brought it to me. And Isaac said unto Jacob, Come near, I pray thee, that I may feel thee, my son, whether thou be my very son Esau or not. And Jacob went near unto Isaac his father; and he felt him, and said, The voice is Jacob's voice, but the hands are the hands of Esau. And he discerned him not, because his hands were hairy, as his brother Esau's hands: so he blessed him. And he said, Art thou my very son Esau? And he said, I am. And he said, Bring it near to me, and I will eat of my son's venison, that my soul may bless thee. And he brought it near to him, and he did eat: and he brought him wine and he drank. And his father Isaac said unto him, Come near now, and kiss me, my son. And he came near, and kissed him: and he smelled the smell of his raiment, and blessed him, and said, See, the smell of my son is as the smell of a field which the Lord hath blessed: Therefore God give thee of the dew of heaven, and the fatness of the earth, and plenty of corn and wine: Let people serve thee, and nations bow down to thee: be lord over thy brethren, and let thy mother's sons bow down to thee: cursed be every one that curseth thee, and blessed be he that blesseth thee. And it came to pass, as soon as Isaac had made an end of blessing Jacob, and Jacob was yet scarce gone out from the presence of Isaac his father, that Esau his brother came in from his hunting. And he also had made savoury meat, and brought it unto his father, and said unto his father, Let my father arise, and eat of his son's venison, that thy soul may bless me. And Isaac his father said unto him, Who art thou? And he said, I am thy son, thy firstborn Esau. And Isaac trembled very exceedingly, and said, Who? where is he that hath taken venison, and brought it me, and I have eaten of all before thou camest, and have blessed him? yea, and he shall be blessed. And when Esau heard the words of his father, he cried with a great and exceeding bitter cry, and said unto his father, Bless me, even me also, O my father. And he said, Thy brother came with subtilty, and hath taken away thy blessing. And he said, Is not he rightly named Jacob? for he hath supplanted me these two times: he took away my birthright; and, behold, now he hath taken away my blessing. And he said, Hast thou not reserved a blessing for me? And Isaac answered and said unto Esau, Behold, I have made him thy lord, and all his brethren have I given to him for servants; and with corn and wine have I sustained him: and what shall I do now unto thee, my son? And Esau said unto his father, Hast thou but one blessing, my father? bless me, even me also, O my father. And Esau lifted up his voice, and wept. And Isaac his father answered and said unto him, Behold, thy dwelling shall be the fatness of the earth, and of the dew of heaven from above; And by thy sword shalt thou live, and shalt serve thy brother; and it shall come to pass when thou shalt have the dominion, that thou shalt break his yoke from off thy neck. And Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing wherewith his father blessed him: and Esau said in his heart, The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then will I slay my brother Jacob. And these words of Esau her elder son were told to Rebekah: and she sent and called Jacob her younger son, and said unto him, Behold, thy brother Esau, as touching thee, doth comfort himself, purposing to kill thee.

-----Harbinger Lyrics

At higher ground is where you'll find
 The cure for the emptiness in your eyes
 Letting go will get you high
 You'll finally feel alive
 If you can read between their lies
 Beneath that thin line
 Is where they try to hide
 Everything you know you need
 I won't let you fall short
 I can see right through their walls
 It's too late
 But I can't help them anyway
 I can feel your heart it's beating in my hands
 I layed across your chest
 I only did what I thought was best
 And I can feel your heart
 It's beating in my hands
 I'll leave you the best I can
 Just let em be
 Just let em be
 Is what they all say
 But if I did
 What happens then
 Do I just walk away
 Won't let em be
 Can't let em be
 It's not who I am
 Just hear me out
 I promise that
 It's for your own sake
 Forgive, forget what you have done
 It's all or none
 Become the man you want be
 Not the man they want to see
 I can feel your heart it's beating in my hands
 I layed across your chest
 I only did what I thought was best
 And I can feel your heart
 It's beating in my hands
 I'll leave you the best I can
 The nights seem so long
 What do you love
 We built this from the ground up
 And we won't watch it fall
 We built this from the ground up, time to reap what's sewn
 I can feel your heart it's beating in my hands
 I layed across your chest
 I only did what I thought was best
 I don't need you to take this further
 You tried to leave when I pulled you closer
 Wake up and see that I left you the best I can
 The night seems so long
 What do you love
 You made me see what you'd become and then you left
 (I thought what I did was best)
 Say no more, wake up and see

My Face Is Set Like A Flint For Kendall Jenner!!!

* dedicated to Alesana, All Night Dance Parties In The Underground Palace
http://youtu.be/hTTKgBGYXxo

+------------------------/Jerusalem; My Face Is Set Like A Flint For Kendall Jenner!!!

Kendall, my heart is a Roving bearded Savior, 
kin to a vanquished people,
seeking love in a land resettled
by Roman tyrants of loneliness, barbarians
of female rejection appeased only
by fustuarium, the mass bludgeoning of my
self confidence for daring to speak of
my certain and destined liberation from Caesar. 
(My conscience like languishing lepers lobbying
to be made whole.)
And you are my celestial holy land, your olive skin
and dark enchanting eyes like words on lips
of celebrated prophets who foretold of your beauty
as a dazzling Heavenly City:
how for thousands of years its glory was crafted
[on Keeping Up With The Kardashians]
with divine precision
to heal Jeremiah's dark forecast of my heartbreak;
On it, on us, I set my face like flint -
Oh to kiss your lips, oh to shed this layer 
of sinful flesh to atone for all my prior wrongs...
and for all the stupid girls as Pharisees,
inhospitable Samaritan villagers
who obstructed my paths to happiness,
a selfless propitiatory sacrifice for
redemption of romance. At the end of it all,
fresh scars in my side and on my hands and feet,
when I put my hands against
your cheeks and gaze into your soul, we shall
belong to each other,
the thick veil between God
and the Jews rent asunder.
Please give me a chance Kendall,
I would do anything to die to this crass world
of singlehood, willingly throwing myself
to the Pontius Pilate of public criticism. Even
if holding you in my arms means the
crucifixion of my body by crowds
of jealousy
casting lots for my coat without seam,
a crown of thorns
and lacerated skin to the bone
traced with flowing blood of a past life
falling down
on all girls who have forsaken me
just before I look up to the sky
and commend my spirit to you forever.



------------------Luke 9:51-56
And it came to pass, when the time was come that he should be received up, he stedfastly set his face to go to Jerusalem, And sent messengers before his face: and they went, and entered into a village of the Samaritans, to make ready for him. And they did not receive him, because his face was as though he would go to Jerusalem. And when his disciples James and John saw this, they said, Lord, wilt thou that we command fire to come down from heaven, and consume them, even as Elias did? But he turned, and rebuked them, and said, Ye know not what manner of spirit ye are of. For the Son of man is not come to destroy men's lives, but to save them. And they went to another village.

-------All Night Dance Parties In The Underground Palace Lyrics

Beautiful, you know you leave me breathless when you fall into my eyes
My heart belongs to you my angel
There is just no reason for you to let life bring you down
Please come with me and let me show you

I know that at times it may be hard to let go of yourself
Babygirl, tonight leave your cares behind because it's time to celebrate!
All night long I'll sing and dance with you, my sweet princess, only if you trust in this
Take my hand and follow me, I will sweep you off of your feet
All night long I will sing and dance with you

Every time I look at you I can't believe how magical you are
The stars belong to you my angel
Run away with me into a world where time seems to not exist
The smile on my face will show you

I know that at times it may be hard to let go of yourself
Babygirl, tonight leave your cares behind because it's time to celebrate!
All night long I will sing and dance with you, my sweet princess, only if you trust in this
Take my hand and follow me, I will sweep you off of your feet
This night will only end when we stop dancing

My sweet princess I will sing and dance with you all night long
The stars, they belong to you my angel

All night long I'll sing and dance with you. my sweet princess, only if you trust in this
Take my hand and follow me, I will sweep you off your feet
This night will only end when we stop...

Your Marriage My Damnation

* Dedicated to Car***n

+-----------------------/Your Marriage My Damnation (Seven Seals)

I remember it. When I first met you
you smiled as if breathing into dirt,
my eyelids opened for the first
time, my hands coagulating into flesh 
and with my ears fully formed
I heard your voice as God,
and….everything was good.
I felt my heart beat for the first time.
I wished then,
 for inertia, to stay in the
Eden of your kindness and charm.
To fantasize about your breasts forever,
your flowing brunette hair cascading
from your shoulders like utopian waterfalls,
with no inclination about the outside
world of cynical girls and dating pangs,
of good  versus evil,
of me killing my former self years later
out of jealousy for letting you go,
Cain against Abel, scarred for life
as I was excoriated by my conscience,
exiled East – glaring at me:
stoic angels with flaming swords,
sharpened with your rejection.
(I allowed myself to be seduced by
serpentine slithering of social convention-
interracial bureaucracy, would it work?
…I ate the fruit forbidden to all men,
pessimism.) 
And many ages later life is hell isn’t it?
Your smile now deformed and disfigured,
a surly snarl spelling
the end of my world as I know it,
the married gaps in your teeth like
seven seals of the apocalypse,
the most pernicious judgment on my happiness.
I picture you making love to him-
your beautiful stare turned crazed, disgusting manic laugh
that once inspired me
like four horses of destruction,
a white one to conquer my dreams of kissing you,
 a red to steal the peace from my soul
that I would claim as my own with you in my arms,
(you as MY wife)
a black horse to tilt the balances
of my confidence towards despair, and a pale
horse of acute finality…the recognition
you will never be mine.
His face like tortured victims of my lingering
affections for you and what we once had
crying “How long O Lord, holy and true
dost thou not judge and
avenge our blood”…on those that lust after my wife?
The smirk on his face like white robes of distinction
from the filthy rags of my dejection with
you acting for him as Savior-cum-savage-judiciary,
my life flashing before me
as a perpetual recurrence of our love slipping through
my fingers.
And from hereafter, seeing you face to face
will stir inside of me earthquakes of anger, the sun of my joy
as black as a sackcloth of hair,
and my moon of hope as blood. Not having you is
like stars starkly falling to earth,
and people trying to hide under rocks,
wailing,
are all the memories of our friendship I have.
And now….
and now there is nothing but silence in heaven.
Nothing but silence in heaven
for the damned.




--------------Revelation 6; 8:1-2
And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer. And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword. And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine. And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth. And when he had opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of them that were slain for the word of God, and for the testimony which they held: And they cried with a loud voice, saying, How long, O Lord, holy and true, dost thou not judge and avenge our blood on them that dwell on the earth? And white robes were given unto every one of them; and it was said unto them, that they should rest yet for a little season, until their fellowservants also and their brethren, that should be killed as they were, should be fulfilled. And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood; And the stars of heaven fell unto the earth, even as a fig tree casteth her untimely figs, when she is shaken of a mighty wind. And the heaven departed as a scroll when it is rolled together; and every mountain and island were moved out of their places. And the kings of the earth, and the great men, and the rich men, and the chief captains, and the mighty men, and every bondman, and every free man, hid themselves in the dens and in the rocks of the mountains; And said to the mountains and rocks, Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb: For the great day of his wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand? And when he had opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour. And I saw the seven angels which stood before God; and to them were given seven trumpets.

The Grapes of Kate Upton

* dedicated to Kate Upton (O Kate!!! With me wont you date? That would be so great!!!)
* dedicated to Moving Mountains, 8105
http://youtu.be/M6J5uL4EQ0o

+-------------------/The Grapes of Kate

Kate, when I ruminate on the girls
in my life right now, it feels as if all 
the wine is gone.  But you are six
stone jars pregnant
(to the brim)
with twenty to thirty gallons of purified
beauty as water,
the effluence of romantic intoxication,
sweet as the most savory grapes grown
on a vine at rainbow’s edge-
trodden by angel’s foot, aged to ambrosial perfection
and poured before all the guests
of my admiration for you.
And this void in my heart is
a wedding amongst the reeds in Cana
of Galilee, all in attendance eagerly awaiting
a blonde haired blue eyed Savior
to keep love alive,
child of God in flesh incarnated to heal my pain
and save me
from the hell of 15 years of singleness. (A girl
heralded and sought after long ago
by three wise men of my most rapacious
desire for Sports Illustrated.) 
You see, at this point in my life,
I thirst not for the bland,
not for a woman cognate with my dating cynicism,
but after the years have passed
and everyone has had too much to drink
I still hold out hope for the best,
for a smile like the celestial chorus of an ocean’s
sunrise.
I want to cup my hands under your chin,
and drink your kiss
like the choicest wine miraculously transformed,
and
saved for a time such as this.






[When my entire being screams “Do whatever she tells you”]

----------John 2:1-11
On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.” “Woman, why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons. Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim. Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.” They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.” What Jesus did here in Cana of Galilee was the first of the signs through which he revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.

-----8105 Lyrics
(and we will fall back into the ocean)

the mountain tops are hard to see
they tell how far you really are from me
the clouds are thick but they can't hide you
they can't hide you from me
some things are here to kill me
can you feel it now,
we're burning up
amongst your flames
amongst your love
our life (i am in the earth it’s where you’ll find me
you, you’re in the sky
it’s where you’ll find me)

you, you're like the sun
and i am earth
together we're one
but someday
your fire will die
and i'll grow cold
without sunlight.
and i will freeze baby
i will die
i would freeze and i'd die for you

one thing I know you didn’t know was how to
fall head first,
hand-in-hand into the ocean blue
we count down,
take a breath and jump,
we're falling
you'll scream, "baby, we're simply growing"
(you're in the sky)
i think maybe, i wouldn't mind to die like this

i may not say everything that's on my mind
i am in the earth, it's where you'll find me
you're in the sky
fall from you

don't fret, baby, we're simply growing
and my darling, i wouldn't mind to die like this
don't fret, baby, we're simply growing.
don't fret, babe, the sun is coming

Horeb - Dedicated to Ariana Grande

* dedicated to Emarosa, A Toast To The Future Kids!
http://youtu.be/bVSs-yqoAEI
* dedicated to Ariana Grande
(Ay no disrespect Big Sean!!! Bro...I know shes your girl and all....and you see...well my excuse for writing a love poem to your girl, albeit a Biblical one, is....I ...you see......errr...... hey, I think I left my iron on...smell ya later son!!! Bye!!!)

+--------------------/Horeb

Ariana you are a luminous flame,
a smoldering bush of pure beauty at the
base of Horeb, Mountain of Amorous Hope,
salvation at the edge
of the far reaching and vast stretches of
my heart’s listless wandering
in the deserts of its bitter loneliness. 
(Ive been single for 15 years).
Before you, my feet are cold
and toes trembling.
I have removed my sandals
and settled my flocks of anxiety,
my emotions like sheep
smitten and amazed and bleating…
your voice, your style, your dancing
like blazing light that speaks from leaves,
angel of the Lord come to my earth,
flickering with feminine charm in that darkness
of wayward wanton women who wrangle
with men -who shatter dreams of dating
like whips on the backs
of ignoble cowering Israelite captives,
oppressive and tyrannical reign of Pharaoh.
I have come to see more of you
to draw near to the smoke
of romance, celestial,
because you are sexy and amazing
because Ive never seen a girl on fire
and not consumed by all her haters.
In passionate warmth, our love
would make the proximate ground holy;
you would call me Moses,
personal friend of the Most High,
and I would whisper into your ear
“In your eyes I see
the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and
the God of Jacob”


[Sent to release my heart into the Promised Land of your embrace]

---------------Exodus 3:1-6
Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the wilderness and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. There the angel of the Lord appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. So Moses thought, “I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up.” When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, “Moses! Moses!” And Moses said, “Here I am.” “Do not come any closer,” God said. “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.” Then he said, “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob.” At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God.


-------------A Toast To The Future Kids! Lyrics 
Piece it all together now
 Because I sell myself short every time
 Oh, how you became my life
 You took me in before I could back out

Well I still have faith
 It will start again
 Oh, I still have faith
 Well I'm about to spend my cold life
 Cutting corners, placing blame
 Any moment this could catch fire,
 Erasing all the stains, so here's to starting over
 We could be the same, we'll change it all together
 The future's mine to claim,
 Claim, mine to claim

 You can't get out
 Fear, couldn't place its hands on us my dear
 My pride has dropped
 Because I couldn't sell short myself this time
 String it along
 Say you'll love me either way

Well I'm about to spend my cold life
 Cutting corners, placing blame
 Any moment this could catch fire,
 Erasing all the stains, so here's to starting over
 We could be the same, we'll change it all together
 The future's mine to claim

Seeing past
 It's about time I asked for more
 Watching my life, at the distance we have come
 While I bled, while I've learned
 But I always seem to give up on my self
 (Self, self, self, self)
 String it along
 Say you'll love me either way
 Say you'll love me any way
 While I'm alone
 Say you'll love me either way

Mine to claim, claim!

 Well I'm about to spend my cold life
 Cutting corners, placing blame
 Any moment this could catch fire,
 Erasing all the stains, so here's to starting over
 We could be the same, we'll change it all together
 The future's mine to claim... 

Silhouettes and Dreams

* Saint Joseph, pray for me
* dedicated to all those imprisoned unjustly
* dedicated to all men and women currently in jail

Hey guys, is it cool with you if I start calling Old Testament Joseph "Joe Diddly??" YO WHAT UP JOE DIDDLY!!!!

+----------------------/Silhouettes and Dreams (Joseph's Thoughts in Prison)

Poignant prophecy on prison walls
cast by fire, the breath of a stoic warden  
like a puppet master on stage pulling strings
of candlelight, variations of my fate
dancing warmly as Im lulled to sleep,
my free body jumping for joy in Pharaoh’s
courtyard or alternately convulsing
alone with tears,
the only rain we have prisoners have in jail,
our cheeks like grey skies
of the disconsolate.
As I come to
I see myself running free in Canaan
(in my coat of  vibrant colors),
the snoring of those at my right and left
the muffled voices of my brothers
bartering my life from the pit to perfidious men
cobbled together from spotty memory.
The flames seem to flare up in my rage,
like leviathan breathes fire from his nostrils
scorching
Pharaoh’s unjust wife-
the only scuffed, craggy stone on the wall
a fitting homage I dedicated to her,
then attenuate in grief
as the wick is pinched by the guard,
and leviathan lays languid beside me
my avatar of hope fading to black
in my bosom
dying silently in darkness.
Oh butler and baker brothers
of my bereavement,
when you are released
please don’t be remiss. Tell Jacob
I see him in silhouettes and dreams
I hear his whispers in the candle.


-------------------------------------Genesis 40:14-15
But think on me when it shall be well with thee, and shew kindness, I pray thee, unto me, and make mention of me unto Pharaoh, and bring me out of this house: For indeed I was stolen away out of the land of the Hebrews: and here also have I done nothing that they should put me into the dungeon.

Taylor Swift: Hebrew Shepherd of My Promised Land

* dedicated to Taylor Swift.... OH BABY!!!!! :)
#TaylorDateTony


---------------------------/Taylor Swift: Hebrew Shepherd of My Promised Land

Taylor, I don’t have to tell you
about the bondage, about the rust
on fetters that abraded my wrists and ankles,
imprisoned many years in a destiny
most undesirable,
the diseased meat infested with maggots fed
from the hand of malicious taskmasters,
or
the whippings on my back until the lacerations
wouldn’t scab anymore.
(You know all too well how cruel dating can be)
Slave songs in my heart for you, the scat harmonies
the slick soulful serenading for blonde hair and
blue eyes of Salvation…
Because you know my love life is Egypt, and my
loneliness is Pharaoh cruel and unflinching.
And I have tried so valiantly yet so futilely
to cure my heartsick melancholy with other girls but
it just hasn’t worked:
flirting with girls at my job as boils  (Jane)
writing love poems to girls at church (Whitney) as locust
swarms
trying to woo former highschool classmates
kind of like hordes of gnats and lice
or herds of frogs, yeah more like throngs of flies -
anything to withstand and rebuff the Egyptian armies
of romantic dejection.
Yet here I stand clinging
to the last vestige of hope I have, your kiss a lamb
without blemish sacrificed, a male of the first year
smeared with hyssop on the lintel and side posts
of the door of my most apoplectic fantasies
of love and marriage to a Pop Star.
Rise up, Taylor Rise up as the leader of the Hebrews!
My singleness, Shake It Off with your embrace,
holding me in your bosom like your firstborn lover.
When you stare into my eyes,
the Angel of Death with his sword unsheathed
slaughtering the memory of all women who
dissed me like Pharaoh’s favorite son,
I will be freed from seclusion and oppression
in the middle of the night.
And I will walk past the Red Sea of
impossibility into the sweet Promised Land
of your arms.   


------------------------Exodus 12:1-33
And the Lord spake unto Moses and Aaron in the land of Egypt saying, This month shall be unto you the beginning of months: it shall be the first month of the year to you. Speak ye unto all the congregation of Israel, saying, In the tenth day of this month they shall take to them every man a lamb, according to the house of their fathers, a lamb for an house: And if the household be too little for the lamb, let him and his neighbour next unto his house take it according to the number of the souls; every man according to his eating shall make your count for the lamb. Your lamb shall be without blemish, a male of the first year: ye shall take it out from the sheep, or from the goats: And ye shall keep it up until the fourteenth day of the same month: and the whole assembly of the congregation of Israel shall kill it in the evening. And they shall take of the blood, and strike it on the two side posts and on the upper door post of the houses, wherein they shall eat it. And they shall eat the flesh in that night, roast with fire, and unleavened bread; and with bitter herbs they shall eat it. Eat not of it raw, nor sodden at all with water, but roast with fire; his head with his legs, and with the purtenance thereof. And ye shall let nothing of it remain until the morning; and that which remaineth of it until the morning ye shall burn with fire. And thus shall ye eat it; with your loins girded, your shoes on your feet, and your staff in your hand; and ye shall eat it in haste: it is the Lord's passover. For I will pass through the land of Egypt this night, and will smite all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both man and beast; and against all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgment: I am the Lord. And the blood shall be to you for a token upon the houses where ye are: and when I see the blood, I will pass over you, and the plague shall not be upon you to destroy you, when I smite the land of Egypt. And this day shall be unto you for a memorial; and ye shall keep it a feast to the Lord throughout your generations; ye shall keep it a feast by an ordinance for ever. Seven days shall ye eat unleavened bread; even the first day ye shall put away leaven out of your houses: for whosoever eateth leavened bread from the first day until the seventh day, that soul shall be cut off from Israel. And in the first day there shall be an holy convocation, and in the seventh day there shall be an holy convocation to you; no manner of work shall be done in them, save that which every man must eat, that only may be done of you. And ye shall observe the feast of unleavened bread; for in this selfsame day have I brought your armies out of the land of Egypt: therefore shall ye observe this day in your generations by an ordinance for ever. In the first month, on the fourteenth day of the month at even, ye shall eat unleavened bread, until the one and twentieth day of the month at even. Seven days shall there be no leaven found in your houses: for whosoever eateth that which is leavened, even that soul shall be cut off from the congregation of Israel, whether he be a stranger, or born in the land. Ye shall eat nothing leavened; in all your habitations shall ye eat unleavened bread. Then Moses called for all the elders of Israel, and said unto them, Draw out and take you a lamb according to your families, and kill the passover. And ye shall take a bunch of hyssop, and dip it in the blood that is in the bason, and strike the lintel and the two side posts with the blood that is in the bason; and none of you shall go out at the door of his house until the morning. For the Lord will pass through to smite the Egyptians; and when he seeth the blood upon the lintel, and on the two side posts, the Lord will pass over the door, and will not suffer the destroyer to come in unto your houses to smite you. And ye shall observe this thing for an ordinance to thee and to thy sons for ever. And it shall come to pass, when ye be come to the land which the Lord will give you, according as he hath promised, that ye shall keep this service. And it shall come to pass, when your children shall say unto you, What mean ye by this service? That ye shall say, It is the sacrifice of the Lord's passover, who passed over the houses of the children of Israel in Egypt, when he smote the Egyptians, and delivered our houses. And the people bowed the head and worshipped. And the children of Israel went away, and did as the Lord had commanded Moses and Aaron, so did they. And it came to pass, that at midnight the Lord smote all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, from the firstborn of Pharaoh that sat on his throne unto the firstborn of the captive that was in the dungeon; and all the firstborn of cattle. And Pharaoh rose up in the night, he, and all his servants, and all the Egyptians; and there was a great cry in Egypt; for there was not a house where there was not one dead. And he called for Moses and Aaron by night, and said, Rise up, and get you forth from among my people, both ye and the children of Israel; and go, serve the Lord, as ye have said. Also take your flocks and your herds, as ye have said, and be gone; and bless me also. And the Egyptians were urgent upon the people, that they might send them out of the land in haste; for they said, We be all dead men.

Formerly Simon

* Saint Peter pray for me
http://www.ewtn.com/library/curia/cdfprima.htm

(Ayo!! Party peoples, now when I say Peter was the rock the church was built on, don't get me confused with Built on Rock Prison Ministries in Baltimore, Maryland, or with Rocafella Records - Jay Z's Label he colloquially refers to as THE ROCK!!!!)

+-------------------------/Formerly Simon

When a man fishes he doesn’t usually think
epistemologically, of his relation to
the universe, or the world,  or the heavens, 
or how he came to a villainous stare into
waters, wishing death upon any who bite the hook
wrenching creatures from home and hearth
with a string
into the hull with intentions to slaughter.
But when I see your face
I think of epistemology. Of how I came to turn
my head at the cordial yet assured summons
of a tall bearded Galilean,
betraying the life I formerly knew
for a seemingly cavalier gambit
to topple Roman Rule and haste
Jewish Heaven to an increasingly crass
pagan earth.
Its as if the buckling of the waves,
premonitions of the deep,
jostling the boat and brisk breezes brushing
aside Andrew’s hair were the first signs of
nature’s obeisance to its new Savior.
I thought on these things as the sun rose
today on the latch of my sandals-
the risk of heresy in the synagogue,
the chatter of lunacy and deceit amongst
the crowds, imminent death for that which
the 12 of us don’t yet fully understand.
And maybe, in the end, I am my mother’s son,
brash and impulsive and fiery.
But here we all stand, at the edge of time,
the angel of death traipsing through Egypt
with a thirst for our enemies’ firstborn.
To a man whose eyes call forth Peter
when I would simply settle on Simon:
(to a man who can raise the dead)
I cant foresee how this all plays out,
but I know this heart’s new fire, my soul
in pure ecstasy ignited.
This is me now, and I make my vows
to you forever... no matter what or who
anyone else says you are.


(My faith in the goodness of our cause is as solid as a Rock)
Who do people say that the Son of Man is?

------------------Matthew 16:13-19
Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?”  And they said, “Some say John the Baptist, others say Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” Simon Peter replied, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” And Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven. And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”

-----John 20:3-6a
So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. Then Simon Peter came along behind him and went straight into the tomb…

Walking to Your Jordan

*  dedicated to The Dave Matthews Band, Lie in Our Graves
http://youtu.be/AMjLybIfoEU
* dedicated to Scary Kids Scaring Kids, Set Sail
http://youtu.be/aZBBJ0DBYQY
* dedicated to Jars of Clay, There is a River
http://youtu.be/gp-HTdyuzoA
* Saint John the Baptist, pray for me.

+
--------------------- Jesus’ Baptism; Walking to Your Jordan

How much regret have you borne on your Galilean
roads, and for how long? At your feet
memories as plumes of dust, your sandals
doubling as great oracles conjuring past sentiments
from dirt, montages of love lost,
betrayal, and self-sabotage in the thin nebula
of earth rising and echoing the
tragedy of buried ancestors with similar
stories who speak no more.
In the distance, a convocation of crowds
like a projection of your subconscious desire:
midwives consoling a woman in labor kneeling
before birthing canals of the Jordan River,
a slit of feminine redemptive flesh,
dead fish, silt, loose rocks, and human waste
like amniotic fluid and blood of a mother
expecting the new life of a son.
Your consciousness is John the Baptist caterwauling
for commutation.
Your tears are the food of an eclectic begging
for release from weariness,
begging for locusts and wild honey
begging for locusts and wild honey
anything but the decaying red meat of this world
of vindictiveness and psychological war. 
And so you wade waist deep
in the grave of all that you wish to leave behind,
staring in the faces of the Pharisees in the crowd,
your self-doubt and cynicism,
one last time.
Redemption is a dove circling and descending
like a pure spirit as you look above
bidding farewell to your old life, drowning. Then
a thunderous voice of relief rippling the waters
of what once was-
 “arise my child”
and welcome to the Kingdom of God.




---Matthew 28:18-20
And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."

1 Peter 3:18-22
For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit. After being made alive, he went and made proclamation to the imprisoned spirits— to those who were disobedient long ago when God waited patiently in the days of Noah while the ark was being built. In it only a few people, eight in all, were saved through water, and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also—not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a clear conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who has gone into heaven and is at God’s right hand—with angels, authorities and powers in submission to him.

Matthew 3:13-17
Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John. But John tried to deter him, saying, “I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?” Jesus replied, “Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness.” Then John consented. As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

-----------Lie in Our Graves Lyrics
when I step into the light
 my arms open wide
 when I step into the light
 my eyes searching wild
 would you not like to be
 sitting on top of the world with your legs hanging free
 would you not like to be OK, OK, OK
 when we're walking by the water
 splish splash me and you taking a bath
 when we're walking by the water
 come to my toes to my ankles to my head to my soul
 then I'm blown away
 when we're walking by the water
 splish splash me and you taking a bath
 when we're walking by the water
 come to my toes to my ankles to my head to my soul
 then I'm blown away
 I can't believe that we would lie in graves
 wondering if we had spent our living days well
 I can't believe that we would lie in graves
 wondering what we might of been
 I can't believe that we would lie in graves
 wondering if we had spent our living days well
 I can't believe that we would lie in graves
 wondering what we might of been
 would you not like to be
 would you not like to be
 I can't believe that you would not like to be
 would you not like to be
 ok, ok, ok,
 ok, ok, ok,
 ok, ok, ok,
 ok, ok, ok,
 and we dance away

-----Set Sail Lyrics

Through a stranger's eyes
 I take a good look at my life
 Only to find that I’m not living
 I’m not alive
 I wanna live to tell the tale
 I wanna wake up before my ship sets sail
 Don’t wanna try to be anyone else
 I just wanna try to find myself
 We all know life could end in an instant
 We all just disappear
 So let me put this into perspective
 Let me make this clear
 I wanna live to tell the tale
 I wanna wake up before my ship sets sail
 Don’t wanna try to be anyone else
 I just wanna try to find myself
 I’ve grown tired of the same old f* story
 I think I’m ready for a change
 If there’s a higher power up there watching over me
 Could you give me a sign today, today?
 Cuz I’ve grown tired, I’ve grown tired
 I think I’m ready for a change
 I wanna live to tell the tale
 I wanna wake up before my ship sets sail
 Don’t wanna try to be anyone else
 I wanna find myself, I wanna find myself
 I wanna wake up (I wanna find myself)
 I just wanna wake up (I wanna find myself)

-----------There is a River Lyrics
There is a river that washes you clean
 There is a tree that marks the places you've been
 Blood that was spilled, although not your own,
 For all of your tears, are the wages for things you have done
 And all of those nights
 Spent alone in the darkness of your mind
 Give it up, Let go
 These are things you were never meant to shoulder
 There is a river that washes you clean
 There is a tree that marks the places you've been
 Blood that was spilled, although not your own
 For all of those tears, love will atone
 So, give up the right
 To control the waves that empty out your life
 Above wild skies
 Are the rays that break the shadows we design
 Give it up, let go
 These are things you were never meant to shoulder
 Give it up, let go
 There is a river that washes you clean
 There is a tree that marks the places you've been
 Blood that was spilled, although not your own
 For all of those things, love will atone
 I know the world can turn in different ways
 Most of the time, we're simply hanging on
 And under the signs of how we all behave
 We might find the place that we belong
 There is a river that washes you clean
 There is a tree that marks the places you've been
 Blood that was spilled, although not your own
 For all of these things, love will atone
 For all of those nights, that you cried all alone
 All of your tears, love will atone 

Coals and Bread (Ronda Rousey)

+

-------------------/Coals and Bread; A Love Poem to Ronda 'Rowdy' Rousey

Ronda, watching you fight in the UFC
is like watching you fish on the
Sea of Tiberias, flanked by
coaches and training partners like disciples
of a New World casting large nets of ambition
for a woman’s champion into
erstwhile barren waters from small,
unprecedented wooden vessels of steely resolve,
expecting nothing less than generous success,
unflinching in the face of time, even
willing to sleep naked in the cold.  
Your beauty, honestly, is resurrection.
My prolonged loneliness has been like dying,
three days and three nights in the Hell
of my worst fears of never being loved,
and the repudiation from girls Ive liked,
barbaric Roman soldiers with bloodlust  
hammering nails in my hands and feet,
like a shameful crucifixion
inviting public scorn and smirks from
mocking enemies who spit in my face
(Because they are already wedded with kids).
On that day my hope for marriage,
scattered like sheep,
earthquakes and darkening of the sun.
I have the scars in my side to prove
I need your comfort, the painful insistence
that I need you to have faith in us, together.
My kiss will be like 153 fishes in your net,
beckoning you to come to the shores
of my love like eternal life,
my am wrapped around your waist
like a Shepherd
as we walk from your boat
to the coals and fish and bread and fire
of my faithfulness to you.
You are my favorite UFC fighter,
with blue eyes of pure desire
that I need like salvation;
please baby please, will you
feed my sheep
feed my sheep
feed my sheep?


------------------John 21:1-17
After these things Jesus shewed himself again to the disciples at the sea of Tiberias; and on this wise shewed he himself. There were together Simon Peter, and Thomas called Didymus, and Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, and the sons of Zebedee, and two other of his disciples. Simon Peter saith unto them, I go a fishing. They say unto him, We also go with thee. They went forth, and entered into a ship immediately; and that night they caught nothing. But when the morning was now come, Jesus stood on the shore: but the disciples knew not that it was Jesus. Then Jesus saith unto them, Children, have ye any meat? They answered him, No. And he said unto them, Cast the net on the right side of the ship, and ye shall find. They cast therefore, and now they were not able to draw it for the multitude of fishes. Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved saith unto Peter, It is the Lord. Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he girt his fisher's coat unto him, (for he was naked,) and did cast himself into the sea. And the other disciples came in a little ship; (for they were not far from land, but as it were two hundred cubits,) dragging the net with fishes. As soon then as they were come to land, they saw a fire of coals there, and fish laid thereon, and bread. Jesus saith unto them, Bring of the fish which ye have now caught.  Simon Peter went up, and drew the net to land full of great fishes, an hundred and fifty and three: and for all there were so many, yet was not the net broken. Jesus saith unto them, Come and dine. And none of the disciples durst ask him, Who art thou? knowing that it was the Lord. Jesus then cometh, and taketh bread, and giveth them, and fish likewise. This is now the third time that Jesus shewed himself to his disciples, after that he was risen from the dead. So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs. He saith to him again the second time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep. He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep.

All Roman Roads Eventually Lead to Blood and Paradise

* dedicated to all the Christian (white robed) martyrs of the terrorist organization ISIS; I know youre gazing down from Heaven upon us now.  I invite you to be with me as I write this poem, and may your souls both provide me with literary inspiration and relay the comfort of Christ to this broken world.  You do not die in vain. You inspire the Church to galvanize and seek God. Selah.  The Heavenly Father comforts us all, and subsequently fights against our Oppressor, vindicating our innocence.  #ISISisthenewROME

* dedicated to The Amity Affliction, Chasing Ghosts – (The Martyrs names will live on, the ISIS soldiers names will be forgotten like ghosts in the New Heaven and Earth) - http://youtu.be/g2BI3Fww1vA
* dedicated to Thursday, Signals Over The Air – (ISIS is using media to further their message, baptized in the blood of innocent Christian martyrs) - http://youtu.be/pejvzJZSLpw
* dedicated to Thursday, Marches and Maneuvers - http://youtu.be/lbfZScZiptM


-----------------------/All Roman Roads Eventually Lead to Blood and Paradise

At the end of our lives,
cold wind gusts will force our torsos,
the flayed part of us not nailed down, 
to ricochet against wood violently,
clangoring just as loud as our screams
that cynically attest “All Roads
Lead To Rome.” Pelted by stones,
and ravens orbiting our heads, humiliating
hissing of throngs of unenlightened barbarians
stir us in and out
of consciousness,  our
blood cascading from hands and feet
likely now infected by the rust
and filth of overused nails,
the societal pernicious smirk
of Caesar Augustus
on all those deemed nonconformists. 
We recall that there is no
judiciary for those who serve the God Mars,
only myopia.  Only the swift implementation
of guilt
and subjugation for those who refuse to genuflect
to a crass empire that might as well burn,
secret imprecations of the condemned
walked beneath triumphal arches to their deaths
on crosses.  
After the unceremonious whipping
and plodding up winding roads laden with
the patibulum
that will usher into Jerusalem angels of death,
our eyes glazed over, we will see visions
of Paradise
through the haze of our inner most fears.
Though Pontius Pilate condemns,
we look up to a Loving Father with
arms open wide, commending our spirits
to a celestial refuge with emerald streets,
 before sending down his
armies of vindication, consigning the Praetorian
and it all stands for
to a lake of burning sulfur,
dipping each and every Roman citizen
slowly.







the blood of martyrs is the seed of the Church - Tertullian
(The foot of Michael the Archangel on their necks as they await their turn at the end of Time)
--------------Luke 23:36-44
And the soldiers also mocked him, coming to him, and offering him vinegar, And saying, If thou be the king of the Jews, save thyself. And a superscription also was written over him in letters of Greek, and Latin, and Hebrew, This Is The King Of The Jews. And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save thyself and us. But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation? And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss. And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom. And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise. And it was about the sixth hour, and there was a darkness over all the earth until the ninth hour.


------Chasing Ghosts Lyrics

Will they remember my name when I'm gone
(when they know what I did was so f*g wrong)
Put the steel to my wrist, lost the breath in my chest
(just to forget all the wrongs I had left)
I took the exit, left my friends in the gutter
(left my life right behind me, left myself, left it all)
Left myself, left it all, not a falter, not a stutter
Not a note, and now?
(there’s nothing at all)
Are you at all haunted by memories past?
Are you ready to make this one breath your last?
Is your chest so heavy you're ready to leave?
Or are you just hoping that someone will grieve?
And now we roll on...
I'm gone now,
I don't remember much,
I just know that I would have been better off if I had stayed,
Spoken to a friend,
Let my heart keep on beating and not given it all up
For the grave, for the grave
There's no one there on the other side (other side)
There's nothing more than what I had.
There's no ghost left to haunt you so you know I'm still here,
Just the end of my life nothing left here at all.
There's no memories here, just the regrets of the dead,
Please don't follow my footsteps - cherish all you have left.
Are you at all haunted by memories past?
Are you ready to make this one breath your last?
Is your chest so heavy you’re ready to leave?
Or are you just hoping that someone will grieve?
There's no one there on the other side
(there's no one there on the other side)
There's nothing more than what I had
(there's no ghost left to haunt you).
There's no ghosts
There's no memories here
Just the regrets of the dead
Please don't follow in my footsteps
Cherish all you have left
There's no memories here (memories here)
Just the regrets of the dead (regrets of the dead)
Please don't follow in my footsteps (my footsteps)
Cherish all you have left.
Are you at all haunted by memories past?
Are you ready to make this one breath your last?
Is your chest so heavy you’re ready to leave?
Or are you just hoping that someone will grieve?
Are you at all haunted by memories past? (memories past)
Are you ready to make this one breath your last? (breath your last)
Is your chest so heavy you’re ready to leave? (ready to leave)
Or are you just hoping that someone will grieve? (someone will grieve)

-------------Signals Over The Air Lyrics

this is what you see when you look in my direction:
incandescent corsets draw eyes tight like wires.
this is how it feels,
calling out but no one even hears
the signals that we send over the air
over the air
over the air
over the air.
when you say my name,
i want to split it from your lips
and hide like whispers in the rain.
when you say (when you say) my name (when you say it)
i want to stop it in your lungs
and collect all of your blood to put in the radio.
is this how it feels
when you dont even fit into your own skin?
and its getting tighter,
every day i'm getting smaller
if i keep holding my breath i'm going to disappear.
when you say my name,
i want to split it from your lips
and hide like whispers in the rain.
when you say (when you say) my name (when you say it)
i want to stop it in your lungs
and collect all of your blood to put in the radio.
there's no where to hide.
they stole the love from our lives to put the sex on the radio.
there's no where to hide.
they stole the love from our lives to put the sex on.
if i keep holding my breath, all of this will fade away.
if you keep driving we'll be lying in the wreck.
changing the shape,
folding like an envelope to keep each other in.
shattered glass, broken looks, and mascara gets
washed away by windshield wiper blades
safe, safe
when you say (when you say) my name (when you say my name),
i want to split it from your lips
and hide like whispers in the rain.
when you say (when you say) my name (my name)
i want to stop it in your lungs
and collect all of your blood to put in the radio.
there's no where to hide.
they stole the love from our lives to put the sex on the radio.
there's no where to hide.
they stole the love from our lives to put the sex on the radio.
that's where we hide
the love and lies and sex, on the radio.

------Marches and Maneuvers Lyrics

this is a war we live and the sides are drawn (the sides are drawn).
and we're all wrapped up in fatigues and they wear us out (wear us out).
there is a storm at sea.
if we fly a white flag under a black and blue sky, will the red sun rise?
(the taste of your kerosine lips burn me up)
if we fly a white flag under a black and blue sky, will the red sun rise?
rise, glare from your enemy sights make me go blind/blinds
divide the sunlight into thin strips, the size of a blade, in this trench that we dig for ourselves.
fourscore and fade. glare with the enemy heat of the bodies in the bed. no retreat.
this is a war we live in. now we're up in arms (up in arms)
with our heads pressed against the wall and it's wearing thin (and wearing thin).
these are the screams we swallow,
if we fly a white flag under a black and blue sky, will the red sun rise?
(the taste of your kerosine lips burn me up)
if we fly a white flag under a black and blue sky, will the red sun rise?
rise, the glare from your enemy sights make me go blind
this is our war
administer the pill (keep fighting)
before the cell divides (keep marching)
we'll both go down like toy soldiers.
this is a war
threats and picket lines (keep fighting)
are forming around our beds (keep marching)
and the landmines in our chests will all go off in time.
if we trip each other into this,
do you think we'll find a way out?
we've synthesized a compound to treat this conscience, it's:
one part loss, one part no sleep, one part the gun shot we heard,
one part the screams mistaken for laughter, one part everything after,
one part love, one part stepping out of the driving rain,
one part parting ways, in the cold apartment. don't look back,
just keep running down the stairs. do you hear the footsteps?
can you hear voices in the traffic, communiques in the attic?
they say, after time, all this will heal,
we will rebuild and these broken arms will mend themselves in our embrace.

Drunk in Antediluvian Love

* Dedicated to RB. And listen Party Peoples, just because its football season don’t correlate RB with Marshawn Lynch or any other of those RUNNING BACKS!!!! Because I am NOT referring to a running back! Im referring to my precious R.B…..oh snookums!!! Oh…and….maybe I already used this Bible passage to write a poem, but hey…..RB is worthy of many poems the world over!!!!
* Dedicated to Noah, a man forsaking one world and trying to reestablish normalcy in the next.
* Dedicated to The Amity Affliction, Pittsburgh - No Intro
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vu3xGr-lNVI

----------/Drunk in Antediluvian Love; MyThoughts Of Noah As I Stare at Your  Facebook Profile

Your hair calls out to me, like an echo
of a raven, vestige of a time and place
of passion and romantic ruddiness
that I left behind, in a past life filled
with dreaming.  When we first met,
at Christlife, I had interior misgivings,
my heart as God, whispering specific dimensions:
300 cubits long, 50 wide
and 30 high of gopher wood, the most stout,
for an ark of desire meant to withstand
even the most pernicious adversity,
jeering crowds of millennial dissent,
40 days and 40 nights of incessant criticism
like hail and continual winds of chaotic controversy
that would rock the boat of my confidence.
Maybe forever.
You see, our 14 year age gap is immorality.
The cattle, wolves, sheep and horses, the
coarse men, and lowbred women who lick dust
stared with cagey smiles and furtive glances,
eyes glowing red as rubies,
because that depraved craven world
misunderstood my attraction
for the common carnal attraction of their day,
smut of the earth whitewashed,
the harrowing harmony of hedonism
destroyed, garbled screams of wicked men
and
braying oxen gargling water as they drown.
Its been a while since Ive seen you,
the white dove of changing seasons has
dropped an olive branch of hope in my lap,
(parting with a wink)
a relic I conjure everytime I see you on Facebook.
Now I sit in the vineyard of romantic musing, alone,
wondering if I sailed away from you,
voyage of uncertain destiny,
buoyed by this self imposed restraint,
by mistake…if another cup of wine
in a drunken stupor
will bring at least a portion
of my old world back.


----------------Genesis 9:20-29
And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard: And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent. And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without. And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness. And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him. And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren. And he said, Blessed be the Lord God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant. God shall enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant. And Noah lived after the flood three hundred and fifty years. And all the days of Noah were nine hundred and fifty years: and he died.

-----Pittsburgh Lyrics

I've been searching for an exit, but I'm lost inside my head;
 Where I spend every waking moment wishing I was dead.
 For a few minutes get me away from here,
 For a few minutes wipe away my tears.
 For I am lost right now as the ocean deep;
 I am low my friend and how my heart does sink.
 Yeah I am lost right now as the ocean deep;
 I am low my friend and how my heart does sink.
 It's like there's cancer in my blood,
 It's like there's water in my lungs,
 And I can't take another step,
 Please tell me I am not undone.
 It's like there's fire in my skin
 And I'm drowning from within -
 I can't take another breath,
 Please tell me I am not undone.
 I've been searching for an exit but I'm lost inside my head;
 Where I spend every waking moment wishing this would end.
 I can't take another step, I cannot live inside my mind,
 I can't face another day, I am so f* tired.
 For I am lost right now as the ocean deep,
 I am low my friend and how my heart does sink.
 Yeah I am lost right now as the ocean deep,
 I am low my friend and how my heart does sink.
 It's like there's cancer in my blood,
 It's like there's water in my lungs
 And I can't take another step -
 Please tell me I am not undone.
 It's like there's fire in my skin
 And I'm drowning from within.
 I can't take another breath -
 Please tell me I am not undone.
 I've been searching for an exit but I'm lost inside my head;
 Where I spend every waking moment, wishing I was dead.
 I'll take another step for you -
 I'll shed my tears until I drown, or until I am underground.
 I'll take another breath for you...
 Will you still be there when I'm home, out from the great unknown?
 It's like there's cancer in my blood,
 It's like there's water in my lungs,
 And I can't take another step -
 Please tell me I am not undone.
 It's like there's fire in my skin
 And I'm drowning from within.
 I can't take another breath -
 Please tell me I am not undone.