Life's Treason, Death's Patriotism, Death's Treason, Life's Patriotism

Now behold, an angel of the Lord stood by him, and a light shone in the prison


-----------------------------/Acts Chronicles Chapter 12: Life's Treason, Death's Patriotism, Death's Treason, Life's Patriotism (In Prison Darkness) - The Thoughts Of Peter Before He Fell Asleep In Prison Next To Two Soldiers

Everyone , at some point I believe
has pined for a premature death in some sense
when life just seems to overwhelm
dying a shelter from antagonistic forces of calamity
emotional travail
familial strife, economic dearth
supposing at the terminus of one’s beating heart one is greeted
with instantaneous halcyon and a pair of wings
to fly away
and enjoy bliss, joyously naïve to a pained past
leisurely dipping a finger in cool streams of eternal youth
thoughtlessly braiding a lion’s hair, warmed by eternal shining Sun
Eden reclaimed, land of the free
but in truth, the very real experience of impending death
has none of these expected accompanying consolations
but only dread
and all you can do is keep your eyes fastened to the ground
so as not arouse the disdain of the guard surrounding you
by meeting eyes
(no more swollen eyes, or teeth dislodged from hardened fists
and feet)
and if offered just an hour back in the most wretched, excruciating
situation you would have erstwhile died to escape
you would without question accept graciously the opportunity
just to rid yourself of the constant, unrelenting foreboding
outstanding sins to make amends for
words never spoken to friends
kisses never bestowed on the very people who never hesitated
to shower them on you
a thrice epic display of betrayal that still stings
I do not know what you are saying
I do not know the Man!
"Surely you also are one of them, for your speech betrays you" -
I do not know the Man!
and you would prefer whips to your back
to the echoes of your own voice that night that ring in your ears….
WHEN ALL YOU WANT TO DO NOW IS LIVE!
and not be stuck in some dungeon awaiting a public, transparent
shameful death before you had time to right your wrongs
because when you stand before the Angel of Death
it isn’t necessarily his methodology that you fear –
you fear yourself a monster
wondering what words he will speak, and what reputation you will carry
to the next life
after your relatives carry your body
across places now filled with your regret





-------------Acts 12:5-8
Peter was therefore kept in prison, but constant prayer was offered to God for him by the church. And when Herod was about to bring him out, that night Peter was sleeping, bound with two chains between two soldiers; and the guards before the door were keeping the prison. Now behold, an angel of the Lord stood by him, and a light shone in the prison; and he struck Peter on the side and raised him up, saying, "Arise quickly!" And his chains fell off his hands. Then the angel said to him, "Gird yourself and tie on your sandals"; and so he did. And he said to him, "Put on your garment and follow me."