Me and Da Boys Talkin Bout Girls!

[the setting: Suburban woods, cool night - a lone patch of grass on a hillside, an oasis of grass among a sea of trees and other shrubbery and dense foliage lit by a beam of luminescent light from the moon. The sky, sprinkled with stars without a cloud in the sky to mask their presence. Tony is seated on the hill alongside Jesus and Michael the Archangel conversing on romance, love and girls]

Tony: WHAAAT – UP DOO? How yall be man?

Jesus and Michael: Fine, and you?

Tony: Im tired of being alone, kind sirs. I need some of that intervention type stuff yall cats be cooking up, nahm saying? Like dat, dat Old Testament type happenstances I be reading about in DA BIBLE, YO!

Jesus: What occurrences might you be referring to?

Tony: Like, like, when you brought Rebekah to into that man Jacob's life son!

Jesus: I see. So......

Tony [unintentionally interrupting]: AT THE WELL SON!

Jesus: ....ahem....I see. Well you have to keep in mind that the Kingdom of God, my Father, is of paramount importance, my son. Seek the Kingdom and all these other concerns shall be provided for.

Tony: WUUUUUUT? You say what now?

Jesus: Seek first God’s Kingdom

Tony: Even before women? BEAUTIFUL WOMEN????

Jesus: Yes

Tony: MAAAAAN CAT, YOU BE TRIPPIN SON, MAN I OUGHTA BUSS YOU IN YO HEAD FOR TALKIN LIKE DAT SON, I OUGHT…

[Michael the Archangel stands and draws his sword ready to smite Tony for his insolent speech. But Jesus put his hand forward and stays Michael. Michael sits back down]

Tony [frightened by this turn of events]: .....awww man Im sorry man. I JUST FOOLIN ABOUT JEBUS!!! I JUST FOOLIN ABOUT!

Jesus and Michael the Archangel: .....

Tony: Okay, look man I understand. Yall cats is tryin to kick knowledge to a (Christian) brotha and I betta listen before I get decapitated out this joint....YAAAA KNOOOWWW????

Jesus and Michael the Archangel: ......

Tony: Okay, look I'll put Your Kingdom first Jesus. I really want that fine…OH SOOOO FINE! MMMMM, MMMM, ,MMMMHHHHHH! FINE wifey but I’ll be patient and allow you to place in her my life first before I step my mack daddy game up!

Jesus: Remember, marriage is fleeting. The Kingdom of God is Forever!

Tony [bemused]: ...you don't say….(under his breath: son of a…. )

[Michael the Archangel gives Tony a quick cutting glance]

Tony [speaking louder]: son of a GREAT GOD!!! PRAISE HIM!!!

Jesus and Michael the Archangel: .......

Tony: okay alright look dudes, I gotta bounce but I gotta say something to my potential bride out there.

Jesus: Whats bubbling up inside of you?

Tony: okay so it’s a poem right? And it goes a little something like this – GIVE ME DARKNESS, GUH, YOU SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND GUHL!!

[Jesus and Michael the Archangel stare quizzically]: ......

Tony: Never mind that…AYO MICHAEL! GIMME THE DRUM BEAT FOO....I MEAN GENTLE NOBLEMAN!!!

[rhythmic drum beats:] BOOM! B-BOO-BOOM!! BOOM!

Tony: Okay here goes the poem to my future wife, yall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UHHHNNNNNNN!!!!! GET IT, GET IT, TAKE THAT TAKE THAT: