Place of a Skull

[Matthew 27:33] And when they had come to a place called Golgotha, that is to say, Place of a Skull
---------------Jesus Listen: ** Satan's words to Jesus as he hung from the cross in darkness **



I know why you fear the black (of sky)
That's when the ravens scream at the top of their lungs
and when the wind, insidious, whispers in your ear
subtly
the secret fears shrouded behind your "divine" veneer
there is no one to see you cry now
no father to call "abba" in your misery no one to shield
your "meek" heart from the truth: you are a son repudiated
a teacher spurned
meanwhile come to understand you have "saved" not a soul
unfazed by your teachings the "flock" still harbors hatred inside
forsaking you before Pilate, laughing at Roman soldiers
casting lots for your clothing
a crown of thorns bestowed
on your head:
deep gashes,
puddles of blood

From the scum to your left, the cur to your right
hanging
you are indistinct
erstwhile friends ("tax collectors and sinners") now enemies mocking
ultimately esteeming Barabbas more righteous...
please realize there is no Justice in this world, there is no Savior for
mankind now fallen
like all born of women you are eternally damned
and like all those you “healed” you will soon sleep in the grave
disturbed

Why has your father forsaken you?
why such an ill fate for one who purportedly did so well
you are the son of Joseph a carpenter and
mary, a peasant more common than noble.
Jesus, listen to me
an illusion is a rainbow with 24 elders seated around your throne
there are no seven lamps of fire burning
(if there were, you would see them now)
from dust you were created and from dust you shall return
ALONE
years from now we will open your tomb and find your skull



[Matthew 27:45] Now from the sixth hour until the ninth hour there was darkness over all the land.---------------

Joel 2:23 (For Lisa)

You are to me a cool autumn breeze
A relief from the sweltering summer sun
The simmering high noon haze of no romance
The thick humidity of loneliness
(sweating unbearably and a parched throat)
My desire for you is a deep thirst
Forever yearning. Beneath its scorching rays
My eyes glaze over - I feel myself fainting
Without your love I will just die
Life is not worth living

You are the brisk air the leaves scattered
I can see my breath as my soul pants for you

The shorter days yield to extended nights
The stars are angels. The constellations are prophets
The moon is a father to me as I dream of you
gazing into the sky as it writes your name
(in the center of my heart)

From now until spring I wish it would rain

From now until spring I wish it would rain

Jennifer Is My Food

John 4:34. Jesus said to them, "My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to accomplish His work."
--------------

Jennifer, your love is food to me
and I need it
I need it like I cant go on without it
my joy is famished, my soul filled with hunger pangs
my world is spinning
and knees are wobbling
when you’re gone. I never stop thinking about you
I dream about you
its like, deep in the recesses of my heart you and I have this
co-dependency
so much that I would prefer death to a lonely morbid existence
without you here....
I would call Hades my home, and the grave my bedroom
let decay be my sister and giving up the ghost
my uncle
Let my body be gaunt, and ribs protrude from my chest
Brittle bones I would rather have support me by your side
than sturdy bones in your absence
I can hear my stomach bellowing “starvation is not having you here”

To kiss you, is my meat
romancing you is substance enough
to progress each second past each second past each second
Your love is a banquet hall full of fine cuisine
delicacies from foreign lands.
holding your hand is my nourishment
hugging you, a full entree
surrendering to your will, making you happy is my gathering fruit for eternal life
the only wages I require are the bonds of matrimony
so that you who sow, and I who reap may rejoice
together

I need comestibles to stay alive for you
I will do whatever it takes to sway your heart and mind
I am so sad
I am so desperate
I am so meaningless if you reject me. Until you say the words
"I love you, baby"
I am yet unfilled
I need to eat



John 4.36-37 Already he who reaps is receiving wages and is gathering fruit for life eternal; so that he who sows and he who reaps may rejoice together. “For in this case the saying is true, ‘One sows and another reaps.’

Behind All The Mist

* For my brother
* dedicated to the Apostle Stephen, for looking to things that are above. I love you for that, man. Pray for me, that I would be able to do the selfsame thing during my trials...
* For Jennifer...that's my heart….you know its gotta be about her all the time right? (at least until...)

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And they stoned Stephen, calling upon the Lord, and saying, Lord Jesus, receive my spirit. (Acts 7.59)
And all that sat in the council, fastening their eyes on him, saw his face as it had been the face of an angel. (Acts 6.15)
--------{Behind the Mist; The thoughts of Stephen as he looked up and saw Jesus standing before him}-----------------------------------------------------------





When I was young at the first sound of the cock's crow
I used to run through the woods...
in the morning a heavy pervasive mist (like white clouds)
heralded the sunrise but shrouded the grass, trees and bushes
all around me in compelling mystery, save things immediately before me
those things
only a stone's throw away.
My freedom was restrained only by my mother's worried calling
that gripped my little conscience like death pangs do an immoral man
so I ran back blindly never mind what was in front of me
(the obstacles in my path).
Only upon reaching my house, seeing my mom standing
was my heart quiescent. Her smile so welcoming, I burrowed in her arms
tears down my cheeks streaming

Lay not these offenses to their charge, Oh God
(these jagged rocks flung from hardened hearts
and false offenses from the stubborn demon of fear)
those of the Libertines, and of the Cyrenians
and of the Alexandrians, and of them of Cilicia and Asia
"for they know not what they do"
May Moses forgive them as he forgave the former architects of the golden calf
though they drank its bitterness for their iniquities,
he interceded at Mt. Sinai on their behalf.
And you spared Solomon for the sake of his father David
even though he practiced infidelity, he built Your temple
inside which You dwelt

They do not terrify me.
Each stone that pierces my flesh
is like the branch that scratched me as a kid
running back home. But now I hear You calling instead of mom
so I hastily approach the throne of Grace
next to which I see you standing.
I stretch forth to what I see immediately in front of me only
(Your presence; just a stone's throw away)
tears streaming down my face, I reach out for Your Hands
to hold me
and finally reveal to me the mystery I sought as a boy
behind all the mist



for we have heard him say, that this Jesus of Nazareth shall destroy this place, and shall change the customs which Moses delivered unto us. (Acts 6.14)

A Night of Introspection, a Heart in Denial

*dedicated to Joseph, protector of the Holy Family, the righteous one.

Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found with child of the Holy Spirit. And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily. (Matthew 1:18-19)

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-----------* I am Joseph, and Jennifer....she is like Mary betrothed but not mine (seemingly) ------
-------[A Night of Introspection, a Heart in Denial]: Joseph's thoughts on putting Mary away....




She was the convergence of all my thoughts
ever conceived
the culmination of many years of blood spilled and miracles wrought
by the Hand of my God
She was Isaac sacrificed hastily yet willingly
She was frogs haphazardly swarming the queen's bedroom in Egypt
(the Red Sea crashing on them that chased us)
She was Ruth lying enamored at Boaz's feet...
…David dodging a spear forcefully thrown
and a Kingdom graced with the wisdom of Solomon
and the beauty of the Temple built in Jerusalem;
once destroyed
She was Zerubbabel leading the effort to build it again.
Like Israel I loved her for all she had become…
through God, she never faltered
perennially prevailing
like Eleazar, Matthan, and Jacob
(my father)

And he loved her with every fiber of his being
my mom overwhelmingly endorsed her
the preserver of prophecy, the continuation of history
the comeliness that stole my heart
the winsome smile that ransacked my emotions, crushed my defenses
Im breathless
before her all I am is laid bare

She was everything I ever wanted

When I look at the moon through my teary eyes
and the creatures of the night pause at my wailing
I know deep inside
She will always be my wife
I’ll never ever stop clinging, never ever let go
(though I put her away...it will be secretly)



(your pregnancy cant take away my dreams of us together, Mary)



JENNIFER I AM LIKE JOSEPH, WHO IS FORCED TO PUT YOU AWAY BECAUSE YOU ARE DATING SOMEONE ELSE NOW. BUT KNOW I PUT YOU AWAY SECRETLY IN MY HEART. I WILL NEVER TELL YOU I AM OVER YOU AND I WILL NEVER BROADCAST THIS PUBLICLY. IN MY HEART YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MINE, AND I WILL ALWAYS BE YOURS. THERE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT YOU; FOR THIS REASON, HOW CAN I EVER LET GO?

These are MY Psalms (chapter 2) - Audrina Patridge is LORD Over Me

"The kings of the earth set themselves, And the rulers take counsel together, Against Jehovah, and against his anointed, saying, Let us break their bonds asunder, And cast away their cords from us."
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Audrina I love you so much
(I am like a priest in the temple of Jehovah for you)
you are the only thing that makes sense to me in
this world that rages; sinful people - they all cling to vanity (like Heidi and Spencer)
and collude for my soul's destruction
they are like black vultures swarming for me
as the smoke from my love offering rises
they are like black clouds and black rain defiling me from above,
flooding the gold floors, the bronze altar;
the path of sanity (to the Holy of Holies) I walk on
...all is dire...all is forlorn...
...all is dire...all is forlorn...
without you by my side
they want to take you away from me, baby!
break the bond we have in my heart asunder
tear the cords between us
apart

But you are so majestic. You look down as if in the heavens
at them and laugh derisively
your devotion to me is a vexation to all that despise me
you hold my hands in public, you caress my hair
(in front of the MTV cameras)
when we hug, you hold me tight as if
setting me upon the holy hill of Zion.
If I asked you, you would give me the nations, you would
give me your hand in marriage and
the uttermost parts of the earth to dwell besides you
forever. Your affection shall break them with a rod of iron
our dissenters will shatter like a potter's vessel

I cherish you with fear and I smile with trembling
The grandeur of your beauty;
leaves me breathless
you are a candle burning brightly
you are the aroma of sweet incense to me
a meat offering mingled with oil...
let me kiss you, lest I perish in the way




(I love you baby. I love you. Please stay with me)



"Ask of me, and I will give thee the nations for thine inheritance, And the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession. Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; Thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel."

These are MY Psalms (chapter 1) - Rachel Bilson is like a stream

Psalm 1:3
he shall be like a tree planted by the streams of water, That bringeth forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also doth not wither; And whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.



Rachel, baby, my heart is a trunk hollowing
my strength is like branches that are bare
the lack of sun withers my limbs,
my roots are decaying in dry soil and do not penetrate deep enough
into frozen water...
when the wind blows I am like chaff knocked over;
driven away
It is never autumn
It is never spring
It is never summer
the air is cold and biting
when you arent around it is always winter
and I am forever barren

I have been a fool to listen to those around us
they are like the winds of a blizzard saying "Tony is a commoner
Rachel Bilson, dont stoop so low - you are a celebrity"
wicked counselers, scoffers, they sit on thrones of discouragement
and cynicism
they wont stand in the face of our love,
sinners in the congregation of our reckless passion

But my delight is in the law of our inexorable attraction
(I meditate on this every night, baby)
when Im around you I feel green
I see the sun shining
I feel the warm air on my branches
and the depth of my yearning for you runs deep into the ground
deep in my soul
when by my side you are a stream of running water
a stream of joy
dont ever leave me. I wont ever let you go. I cant go on without you.
I am full of leaves that dont wither
as long as you're around





4 The wicked are not so, But are like the chaff which the wind driveth away.