Three Kings Convene

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[The setting:  The craggy apogee of the most disquieting mountain in Galilee, best known for its steep inclines and treacherous, narrow and winding paths heavily laden with thistles and thorns. This, also, is a sanctum for the most depraved and jaded wild birds and beasts with fierce and most unwelcome dispositions. Tony, Jesus and Satan sit on three large rocks directly facing Jerusalem’s temple hewn exquisitely by Satan especially for this occasion. Wolves skulk shrewdly behind various shrubs on the more level parts of the crest, between uneven frazzled patches of grass. Gentle breezes blow intermittently on this balmy twilit evening. The setting sun behind the mountain casts long shadows on the valley below  of the three men, evoking a gallant, almost grandiose effect on the dialectic at hand.]

Satan (cutting an ill-boding stare at Tony): So Gentlemen….
[Satan’s words and voice have an involuntarily, almost compulsorily, sinister and chilling tone to them, which is not lost on Jesus]

Satan: ….what exactly are we doing here? This mountain, this expanse below us…what is it all to us….three of the ruling class….three….GODS

Jesus: There is but one God

Tony: …dawg….man you be tripping with your dramatic voice dawg. Why don’t you tone it down a bit son, and keep it real my man? Nah mean my ni**a????

Satan [sneering]:….(clearing his throat)…..ahem!!...very well gents, well let me cut right to the chase….I have a proposition for you two….

Tony: …….word???!!!! YOU GOT A PREPOSITION FOR US??? You mean…in relation to the mountain we be standing on son??? THAT’S COOL SON. DATS DOPE….I NEVER MIND NO GRAMMAR LESSON….ESPECIALLY FROM THE BIG SATAN-DAWG HIMSELF….ANGEL OF DARKNESS SON-SON!!!...Can I call you Stan for short? It makes me feel less….stigmatized you know?...so anyway what preposition you talking about….underneath…..wait wait….or even……above????
[Satan raises his hand to strike Tony but Jesus sternly, but silently rebuffs him]

Satan [highly agitated on the verge of distress]:….no….you bit…ahem….you human…..ahem……I said proposition, not preposition…

Tony [staring blankly]:….OHHHHHHH!!! MY BAD DAWG….!!!!! YOU SAID PROP-OSITION!!!! OHHHHH WOOOORDDDDD!!!! My bad son. My bad blood. My bad gangstaaaaaaa!!! Which reminds me to ask….if you are Satan, you are like Hell’s true gangsta right?? STRAIGHT  OG RIGHT!!!!
[Satan cringes at the mention of Hell but maintains his deadpan expression]

Satan: …I want to offer you the world….money, shapely, submissive women, and limitless power.

Tony [wide-eyed] :……..adeep…adeeep…..adeep…..THAT SOUNDS GREEEEAAAAATTTT!!!! I WANT A GIRL SO BAD SON!!!! OOOOOOO!!! OOOOOOOO!!!!! WHERE DOES A NI**A LIKE ME SIGN UP FOR THAT SHII....
[Jesus stands up to reprimand Tony for his language]

Tony [scared]:….. THAT STUFF….MY BAD SON OF GOD, MY BAD!!!!

Satan [smiling slyly]: ……only one condition……bow down before me. Worship me, the world and your flesh forever. Become indulgent, hedonistic. Bow before your every worldly carnal desire….worship your every lust. If you do….EVERY WOMAN YOU COULD EVER WANT WILL BE YOURS TONY

Tony [looking sheepishly at Jesus]:………….GULP!!!.........UMMMMMM….WELL………….