Eulogizing Hope

 (image courtesy of creationsbycurry.blogspot.com)

* dedicated to anyone facing uncertainty

------/Eulogizing Hope: Joshua's Private Words To Moses After His Death

Moses you are dead but my heart died at the red sea

when the waters were rent my soul stood motionless on the shore

Egypt; mirages in the desert of familiarity, climate, routine

vegetation and fauna

feigning courage in the face of adversity coopting Canaan

the Promised Land as a subterfuge for dulling the pain vortexes

of uncertainty. Projecting strength backwards, wistfulness

for the way things once were, and now can never ever be

can never ever be

can never ever be

 you were my doppelganger  the idealization of healthy coping

the man I should have been but never had the time to become

steadfast, confident, assertive and wise, commanding

God miraculous was a rush of incredulity

forty years across barren lands vacuous moping

at the stars staring blankly, all of a sudden

I was a slave boy an identity solidified

unfit to adapt too afraid to believe

in regeneration and redemption for when suffering

is your sole ethos, you allow it to succor you

sacrosanct

Pharaoh’s voice more valuable than the morning bird’s song

the sound of whips flaying the skin of your neighbor

syncopates the attendant sounds of sunrise…

Moses my anchor, you were the only one who kept me from running away

from myself, recanting this fate for the pyramids, mud and cruelty

I left behind

tears of my mother wailing for liberation my stability

wishing she forgot to spread blood over the door over my house

praying to the angel of death to take my life

rather than take me away from home…

how can I conquer my fear of failure

fear of the unknown, without you here?

(what am I supposed to do now?)

---------Joshua 1:1-7

Now it came to pass after the death of Moses the servant of Jehovah, that Jehovah spake unto Joshua the son of Nun, Moses' minister, saying, Moses my servant is dead; now therefore arise, go over this Jordan, thou, and all this people, unto the land which I do give to them, even to the children of Israel.

Every place that the sole of your foot shall tread upon, to you have I given it, as I spake unto Moses.

From the wilderness, and this Lebanon, even unto the great river, the river Euphrates, all the land of the Hittites, and unto the great sea toward the going down of the sun, shall be your border. There shall not any man be able to stand before thee all the days of thy life. as I was with Moses, so I will be with thee; I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. Be strong and of good courage; for thou shalt cause this people to inherit the land which I sware unto their fathers to give them. Only be strong and very courageous, to observe to do according to all the law, which Moses my servant commanded thee: turn not from it to the right hand or to the left, that thou mayest have good success whithersoever thou goest