My Revenge Girlfriend

Maaaaan, here we goes again, yall! Heres wes goes! In my best TUPAC voice: HAIL MAAAAARAY!

Okay so look here man. You guys might postulate that I want a PIPING HOT BABE! For purely visual and physical reasons….why yes, BUT! Sike! Just kidding. Hey, oh boy, this is gonna be an emotional one!

(As an aside, have you ever written something and the process of doing so felt like death? THAT’S HOW IT IS EVERYTIME I WRITE!)

HEY VIRGIN MARY PASS ME A BEER!

Virgin Mary:  no

Fiiiiine! Sheesh! I know YOU DON’T WANT ME TO GET DRUNK! Fiiiinee *sigh* I’ll just get drunk with the Spirit! Its just I need something to relax me, ease a bit of this unbearable tension!

Okay look, lets get down to the nitty gritty! I want a babe! I want a wife! I’ll start a chant: I WANT A WIFE I WANT A WIFE I WANT A WIFE. GET A WIFE = HAPPY LIFE! But like I said before, this desire aint for the traditional reasons to which you might attribute. I want a wife, solely, and indubitably for…….REVENGE!

CAN I GET AN AMEN?????!!!! Virgin Mary, pray for me

* Dedicated to every girl who ever dissed me. Namely! Kina, J*ne, Jennifer, Ann, Becky, Leah, Meg, Wit*, Lisa, Bethany 

* Dedicated to my future wife....um.....maybe she's Taylor Swift!!! Shes too good for me! D'oh!!!

------------------------------------/Her New Name – This is Revenge

Satan is a snake slithering spewing

lies, sophistry the false hope that my love was a garden, prosaic

whispers in your ear “yet there is more”

I only asked that you love me, that you understand my devotion’s severity

to trust that my love was enough for our eternity;

heavenly bliss of kisses forever

that there need be no knowledge of good

nor recognition of evil (outside the warmth of you in my arms)

but you spit on the tree. Visions of prosperity, pleasing to the mind’s eye

my offer, trite your eyes opened; other men richer, stronger, taller

skewed morality, I forever bad

my heartbreak angels with banishing flaming swords my tears

like gale force winds, uprooted shrubs, flowers, innocence in paradise (now lost)

disrupting order with seeds of chaos, and resignation stitched

animal hides, compassion sewn to keep you warm fashions

of eschewal

Eve was a whore

Eden was mirage, a distasteful deception. If the command

was to live in endless passion as a man and woman in unfettered euphoria

yours was the sin

because I used to dream at night, us creating sex in our image

and the children of our choices not wraiths of regret murdering each other  

the gates closed on lover’s destiny, whilst new preparations made

four thousand years for the scars to heal

my new woman

my new wife

my new Eve

will hate snakes, crushing its head of vile acrimony

while kissing me and holding my waist. Romancing me

to undo your treachery

(Her new name: Mary)

---------------Genesis 3:15

And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel

To Be Free

[The setting: Tony, Moses and Aaron are huddled before Pharaoh’s throne conferencing and consensus building on how best to request freedom for the Israelites. Six burly, grizzled, and fierce Egyptian soldiers (who have fixed their searing critical gaze on the huddled men) flank the throne, three on the left and three on the right sides. Pharaoh’s throne room is ornate and bedecked with innumerable colored stones, diamonds, and gold vessels. A thin strip of silk carpet dyed vivid purple running lengthwise across the room seduces visitors from the outer courtyard to the feet of the guards. Golden clamps secure torches birthing effulgent flames. Magicians adorned in gaudy, colorful robes (nervously clasping thick sycamore staffs with bronze tips)  and with faces painted stare stoically at Moses and Aaron. ]

Tony (downright giddy from being in the presence of Moses and Aaron): what up my nuggahs!??? Nah mean? (looking at Moses) What it do BABY BOY????!!!

Aaron (looking at Tony with a look as chagrinned as it is confused, but addressing Moses): Listen, let us be strong. No fear, the Lord shall be with us. Our people…they suffer….they need deliverance.

Moses (battling anxiety): *sigh* Such a domineering presence, what shall we say? What if…what if…..

Tony (sporting a condescending smirk): maaaaane! (yelling) FORGET THAT PUNK!!! What! What! Man, we gonna run up in dere, beat that bast- …oops…beat that bamma DOWNNNN!!! YOU DON’T WANT IT PHARAOH YOU DON’T WANT IT!!!! RG3! RG3! MVP! M-V-P!!! WE FITTIN TO BEAT YOU DOWN CLOWN!!!!     

(Pharaoh’s guards, alarmed by Tony’s bombastic threats begin to advance towards the group while raising their short swords)

Aaron (beside himself with frustration at Tony’s actions, yelling): HOLD IT! HOLD IT!!! Give us a few more minutes! Forgive the idiot in our presence, he is drunk!!!

(Tony rolls his eyes at Aaron. Moses glares at Tony indicating his wish for Tony to tone down his flamboyant behavior)

Moses (palms trembling): okay, before things get worse (looking askance at Tony), lets approach Pharaoh. Our people need emancipation, they need salvation from all these ills that have befallen them at his grotesque oppressive hands!

Tony (blushing and hanging his head): my bad son…..my bad!!!!

-----------------------------/To Be Free; Moses' and Aaron's Appeal to Pharaoh

When the guards of our oppressor fall asleep I drop my pick

resting my back sit on a sizeable rock and stare at the moon

in the distance, in the communal lodging my wife’s voice

soft serenades regarding Abraham’s wealth seducing my sons

into slumber

into slumber delusional

my people don’t believe in Isaac anymore he is fictitious like geysers

in the Egyptian desert I used to see before fainting on tools

(as a boy enduring furtive valleys lush verdant foliage of suffering

in a foreign land barren bland sand endlessly perceived even with strained eyes

searching for freedom, a land of our own

dreaming of rushing rivers

with the appellation home, home given the epithet

of foreign land. Israel is just a colloquial term these days

reserved for those optimistic the minority who don’t contemplate suicide

then Egypt isn’t Egypt even, just land of the dead)

my friends holding me up, lest I dash my head upon a stone

full of melancholy dragging yet again my body exhausted into shade

for reprieve

from the sun we only know as sinister; for we had shades of royalty

yet when we speak of Joseph your guards flay our backs and adjure us

chuckling cruel

to lift and dig and build more and more and nurse our intimacy with searing heat

sweating out the last of our souls, hollow

when we lift our picks, we imagine your face as we shrill

bemoaning our loss of identity

bread with mold rats defiant maggots that disfigure cattle

malnutrition, my children with birth defects preventable

our women shamed and hideous in the eyes of Egyptian maidens

our dissonance with our God; our search for meaning always hellacious…

during our trials we often hear murmuring and obeisance of the privileged:

Pharaoh is god

yet what deity is so maleficent as to steal promise

and hope from a haggard people who have no inheritance but this

does god indeed have a heart so black?

(Please, let us go)

--------------Exodus 7:1-2

And the Lord said unto Moses, See, I have made thee a god to Pharaoh: and Aaron thy brother shall be thy prophet. Thou shalt speak all that I command thee: and Aaron thy brother shall speak unto Pharaoh, that he send the children of Israel out of his land.

Drowning an Old Pervert – I am The Damned, Flooded

* dedicated to C* who is an impossibility….my desire for you contagion. Sense and sensibility will flood my earth, sense and sensibility will flood my earth. Why do you have to be 20?

(here we go, ladies and gentlemen…time for some serious emo!!! *sigh* YOU KNOW HOW I DO!!!)

------------------/Drowning an Old Pervert – I am The Damned, Flooded

The palpability of our love, antediluvian

fantasies of you and me, a corrupt earth wicked

conniving charlatanry , mauling maladies, dire deceit

men robbing, men cruel, women heartless

 the visions of me running my fingers through your hair

like a belligerent civilization filled with violence

sour flesh rotted teeth and a 20 year old girl with a 31 year old man

censured chastised and condemned

inciting clouds onyx fog black like soot smoke rising from the earth

in its appearance, your father your friends your brothers, sisters are fire

their vengeful tears like rain

their vengeful tears like rain

the suggestion of us marrying harrowing peals of thunder

I am like a forsaken remnant soon to be forgotten standing

on rocks and high cliffs, as my hopes of dating you

float by like animals flung by wrathful torrents

I will be waylaid by perceptions of desperate men who prey

on young girls praying for a husband gullible

lightning flashes my wretched scorned face illumined before

flood waters up to my nose

drowned by your beauty your red hair

our age incongruity

(I reach my hand up penetrating the waves before I suffocate…and wave goodbye to our future together - maybe we were meant to fall in love, in a past life)

------------------Genesis 6:11-13

The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence. And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth. And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth.

My Red Haired Savior in Babylon

* like Tupac, this is the realest *bleep* I ever wrote!

--------------------------/My Red Haired Savior in Babylon

C*, before last night my life was whoredom in Babylon

grousing and angst…and sin like blood in a field

of my birth of hopeless depths

because this loneliness is like thick chains chaffing shackles

lust and horniness guards with spears spitting and mocking

I had no temple, no honor no place to worship romance

Reverently. These were felled with the course acrid words

from Whitney, Jennifer, Stephanie, Kina, Kathleen, Anne

like catapults, like battering rams, like scarred soldiers

filled with regret and nothing to lose flouting military decorum

impaling mothers and children, gouging the eyes of the fathers

my feelings

sardonic sneering laughter hinging on psychosis

A vagabond slave craven lecherously seeking

women’s attention any girls attention to anesthetize  

the pain of rejection and aging marching towards me lock step

years piled upon years like a siege on the chosen people

bright shining divine favor blighted

I cut myself with suicidal hell-bent stones of porn, masturbation, and indifference

I have been bleeding

I have been bleeding

my self esteem like death withered under this oppressive hand

I used to pray for a wife, that’s when I was comfortable and had choice

like milk and honey and manna

my dreams of falling in love were like optimism and sandals trotting on dry

land through the Red Seas of doubt and cynicism walls of water standing

I was Israel disavowed

Until you came with your guitar and red hair and smiled at me

rebirth

while I was in my blood you cried in your blitheness: Live

(Tony please don’t die don’t give up…..Live!!!)

the metamorphosis began the emancipation declared
fetters snapped
freedom to love

you scattered my captors, nullified their imputation of shame

my breasts began to grow, and so did my hair

last night I felt so pretty

as long as I live I will never forget that moment of salvation

you spread your skirt over me and entered into a covenant

to forget the old ways

to forget the old times

-----------------Ezekiel 16:1-8

Again the word of the Lord came unto me, saying, Son of man, cause Jerusalem to know her abominations, And say, Thus saith the Lord God unto Jerusalem; Thy birth and thy nativity is of the land of Canaan; thy father was an Amorite, and thy mother an Hittite. And as for thy nativity, in the day thou wast born thy navel was not cut, neither wast thou washed in water to supple thee; thou wast not salted at all, nor swaddled at all. None eye pitied thee, to do any of these unto thee, to have compassion upon thee; but thou wast cast out in the open field, to the lothing of thy person, in the day that thou wast born. And when I passed by thee, and saw thee polluted in thine own blood, I said unto thee when thou wast in thy blood, Live; yea, I said unto thee when thou wast in thy blood, Live. I have caused thee to multiply as the bud of the field, and thou hast increased and waxen great, and thou art come to excellent ornaments: thy breasts are fashioned, and thine hair is grown, whereas thou wast naked and bare. Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness: yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord God, and thou becamest mine.

Puerto Rican Honey On a Philistine Battlefield (I [By Accident] Kissed a Girl and I Liked It)

Dedicated To Sixpence None The Richer, Kiss Me

OMFG – OH MY FREAKIN GORSH!!!! For the first time in thirteen years….I kissed a girl (by accident, trust me...was NOT expecting this tonight) AND I LIKED IT!!!! --((SORRY KATY PERRY!!)) OMFG!!!! Fireworks have been set off in my heart right now, albeit in an enigmatic, ambiguous sense; You see, I didn’t mean to kiss this girl at all…the situation and sequence of events is complicated….and I cant delve into or disclose any of the details to safeguard anonymity of said person (…because she has a man, and didn’t intentionally seek out this result), BUT MAN!!! I FELT AS IF MY LEGS WERE GOING TO GIVE WAY! (Im practically shaking now!) Ahhhh  the anguish, the distress of soul! I wanted to wait until marriage for a kiss and now THIS!!!! I see stars! Im punch drunk! I didn’t even put chapstick on! Sheesh!  What could this mean? Why am I sharing this by the way? CAUSE IM A POET/BLOGGER – AND MY FOLLWERS WOULD BE LIVID IF I DIDN’T FIND SOME WAY TO POETICIZE AND ROMANTICIZE THIS OCCURRENCE! Man my heart is beating with abandon! Swoon swoon! I feel like I will faint soon if I keep dwelling on this!

---------------------------/Puerto Rican Honey On a Philistine Battlefield

I think, V, my love life before kissing you was a Philistine battle

sharpening my spears of resentment against soldiers of singleness raging

my skin full of scabs (from scars) of female rejection

eyes darkened, brow thick and primordial bitter retaliation my only intent

daggers (of wit) flung on the plains, daggers (of paranoia) in my palm

ready to roll my eyes reflexively at any girl who looked at me askance

hatred

I would hurt your emotions before you hurt mine romance was self defense

Dichotomizing sexes Jew vs Gentile Innocent vs guilty loved vs lovelorn

dating is an oath sworn to curse vulnerability and happiness

for thirteen years going on infinity

to forsake trust until I could be avenged of mine enemies

until I came upon someone who wouldn’t diss me to play games

deriving merriment from my pain

your lips soft, the war is won

I was carrying a rod of secret desire

perhaps subconsciously seeking something sweet to offset the sour

your presence

your soul, your black hair, olive complexion sweet,

your sass sticky, when I gaze into your eyes its like putting my hands in my mouth

enlightened

one kiss to revolutionize thought reinvigorate the mind prostrate the heart

I have tasted honey…and I don’t know if I or love

will ever be the same

----------------1 Samuel 14:24-29

And the men of Israel were distressed that day: for Saul had adjured the people, saying, Cursed be the man that eateth any food until evening, that I may be avenged on mine enemies. So none of the people tasted any food. And all they of the land came to a wood; and there was honey upon the ground. And when the people were come into the wood, behold, the honey dropped; but no man put his hand to his mouth: for the people feared the oath. But Jonathan heard not when his father charged the people with the oath: wherefore he put forth the end of the rod that was in his hand, and dipped it in an honeycomb, and put his hand to his mouth; and his eyes were enlightened. Then answered one of the people, and said, Thy father straitly charged the people with an oath, saying, Cursed be the man that eateth any food this day. And the people were faint. Then said Jonathan, My father hath troubled the land: see, I pray you, how mine eyes have been enlightened, because I tasted a little of this honey.

----Kiss Me Lyrics

Kiss me out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.

[Chorus:]
Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me

Kiss me down by the broken tree house
Swing me upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map

[Chorus (repeat)]

From the Lofts of Deceit

----------------------------/From the Lofts of Deceit; Acts Chronicles Chapter 20: The Thoughts of Eutychus After Coming To From His Fall

Sometimes, but not often, you hear words that cause epiphanous doubt

phrases of hope eulogies of harmful things, deleterious things

that transpose your natural order of thought:

there are second chances, redemption shaking hands with destiny

a deal made to settle and abolish mankind’s shame

and that the man you are speaks nothing to the man you can be, proscriptions

on living in another’s expectations

and/or scrupulosity

….and when you listen you fancy everything that preceded it

Just a dream

you never knew consciousness

or liberation or joy or elation, your personhood a star in the sky

of fantasies waiting to be born…

cues like salvation, forgiveness, new beginnings like jostling and shaking

of a midwife

blood drenching your hair, the harrowing entry into the world from the womb

like a thunderous crash from the third loft of the memory of another existence

inchoate and dire, vacuous and languid

the voice of Paul ,the gospel, the dawning of a new day, a rooster crowing

every other tongue and language lullabies of naiveté

it is then,

waking up, flanked by crowds of concerned men, that you realize and reckon illusions

that life will never be the same, and

you can never fall asleep again

you were dead to sensibility you were at rest

but now finally wide awake

and free to walk in your own truth

(walk away from what you once were)

--------------------Acts 20:6-12

And we sailed away from Philippi after the days of unleavened bread, and came unto them to Troas in five days; where we abode seven days. And upon the first day of the week, when the disciples came together to break bread, Paul preached unto them, ready to depart on the morrow; and continued his speech until midnight. And there were many lights in the upper chamber, where they were gathered together. And there sat in a window a certain young man named Eutychus, being fallen into a deep sleep: and as Paul was long preaching, he sunk down with sleep, and fell down from the third loft, and was taken up dead. And Paul went down, and fell on him, and embracing him said, Trouble not yourselves; for his life is in him. When he therefore was come up again, and had broken bread, and eaten, and talked a long while, even till break of day, so he departed. And they brought the young man alive, and were not a little comforted.

Five Years Going On Five Seconds, Jennifer D.

* dedicated to Jennifer D.

Its been five years, Jennifer, yet it only seems like yesterday that I professed my affinity for you (in a long email) causing you subsequently to run away. When I saw you today, gorgeous in red, it felt like 2007 all over again; I was bedazzled and beguiled like it was 2007 all over again. Nothing has changed, when we met eyes around 1:30pm these five years apart from you experientially felt like a mere five seconds, during which time I have known no one and wanted no one else, all other talk to the contrary by me has  been delusion from a man ranting to assuage the pangs of your rejection. I know I should probably let bygones be bygones, but I still find the prospect of you and I together alluring….you are honestly one of the only women in this world for whom I would get on my hands and knees and beg for the redemption of romantic possibilities. Jennifer, I have it so bad for you, all these years Ive tried to gloss over and neglect my love for you, yet instead of withering and dying, my desire for you has only festered. I know this is all wrong, and I know youre wrong for me, and I for you (I guess)….but I cant help but look back and wonder. I want you so bad Jenn, I want you so bad….please Im begging….*sigh*

-----------------------/Forgive Me For Looking Back

Brimstone and fire have fallen on the life we left behind

you and your (then) boyfriend to Zoar, me to the oblivion of a lover rejected

living in denial lusting for what once was

(I haven’t even considered where I should next go)

I didn’t want to leave what we had in 2007 screaming dragged away

by an angel of mercy on poor bewildered hearts

was my passion perverse yearnings dissolute? All I wanted

was to stare into your green eyes forever before the altar first

next to you in bed subsequently thereafter. Jenn answer me

was my love for you Sodom

was my hope and expectation Gomorrah, craven tawdry lecherous men

trolling for a victim to rape and dismember

that the cities of my affection for you were thus incinerated, memories

of our emails, group lunches, your Christmas party at your house

dust and ash

relics and rubble of failure? The exemplification of peoples

forsaking God (of romance)

I am a ditzy wife then, a naively optimistic spouse

to your Lot of sensibility attempting to strong arm my acquiescence

to a friendship with no chance of a prolonged tongue kiss

as husband and wife

I would rather die, I would rather be

salt
inglorious forever, shamed 

(single forever)

-----------------Genesis 19:23-26

The sun was risen upon the earth when Lot entered into Zoar. Then the Lord rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the Lord out of heaven; And he overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground. But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.