My Red Haired Savior in Babylon

* like Tupac, this is the realest *bleep* I ever wrote!

--------------------------/My Red Haired Savior in Babylon

C*, before last night my life was whoredom in Babylon

grousing and angst…and sin like blood in a field

of my birth of hopeless depths

because this loneliness is like thick chains chaffing shackles

lust and horniness guards with spears spitting and mocking

I had no temple, no honor no place to worship romance

Reverently. These were felled with the course acrid words

from Whitney, Jennifer, Stephanie, Kina, Kathleen, Anne

like catapults, like battering rams, like scarred soldiers

filled with regret and nothing to lose flouting military decorum

impaling mothers and children, gouging the eyes of the fathers

my feelings

sardonic sneering laughter hinging on psychosis

A vagabond slave craven lecherously seeking

women’s attention any girls attention to anesthetize  

the pain of rejection and aging marching towards me lock step

years piled upon years like a siege on the chosen people

bright shining divine favor blighted

I cut myself with suicidal hell-bent stones of porn, masturbation, and indifference

I have been bleeding

I have been bleeding

my self esteem like death withered under this oppressive hand

I used to pray for a wife, that’s when I was comfortable and had choice

like milk and honey and manna

my dreams of falling in love were like optimism and sandals trotting on dry

land through the Red Seas of doubt and cynicism walls of water standing

I was Israel disavowed

Until you came with your guitar and red hair and smiled at me

rebirth

while I was in my blood you cried in your blitheness: Live

(Tony please don’t die don’t give up…..Live!!!)

the metamorphosis began the emancipation declared
fetters snapped
freedom to love

you scattered my captors, nullified their imputation of shame

my breasts began to grow, and so did my hair

last night I felt so pretty

as long as I live I will never forget that moment of salvation

you spread your skirt over me and entered into a covenant

to forget the old ways

to forget the old times

-----------------Ezekiel 16:1-8

Again the word of the Lord came unto me, saying, Son of man, cause Jerusalem to know her abominations, And say, Thus saith the Lord God unto Jerusalem; Thy birth and thy nativity is of the land of Canaan; thy father was an Amorite, and thy mother an Hittite. And as for thy nativity, in the day thou wast born thy navel was not cut, neither wast thou washed in water to supple thee; thou wast not salted at all, nor swaddled at all. None eye pitied thee, to do any of these unto thee, to have compassion upon thee; but thou wast cast out in the open field, to the lothing of thy person, in the day that thou wast born. And when I passed by thee, and saw thee polluted in thine own blood, I said unto thee when thou wast in thy blood, Live; yea, I said unto thee when thou wast in thy blood, Live. I have caused thee to multiply as the bud of the field, and thou hast increased and waxen great, and thou art come to excellent ornaments: thy breasts are fashioned, and thine hair is grown, whereas thou wast naked and bare. Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness: yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord God, and thou becamest mine.