My Revenge Girlfriend

Maaaaan, here we goes again, yall! Heres wes goes! In my best TUPAC voice: HAIL MAAAAARAY!

Okay so look here man. You guys might postulate that I want a PIPING HOT BABE! For purely visual and physical reasons….why yes, BUT! Sike! Just kidding. Hey, oh boy, this is gonna be an emotional one!

(As an aside, have you ever written something and the process of doing so felt like death? THAT’S HOW IT IS EVERYTIME I WRITE!)

HEY VIRGIN MARY PASS ME A BEER!

Virgin Mary:  no

Fiiiiine! Sheesh! I know YOU DON’T WANT ME TO GET DRUNK! Fiiiinee *sigh* I’ll just get drunk with the Spirit! Its just I need something to relax me, ease a bit of this unbearable tension!

Okay look, lets get down to the nitty gritty! I want a babe! I want a wife! I’ll start a chant: I WANT A WIFE I WANT A WIFE I WANT A WIFE. GET A WIFE = HAPPY LIFE! But like I said before, this desire aint for the traditional reasons to which you might attribute. I want a wife, solely, and indubitably for…….REVENGE!

CAN I GET AN AMEN?????!!!! Virgin Mary, pray for me

* Dedicated to every girl who ever dissed me. Namely! Kina, J*ne, Jennifer, Ann, Becky, Leah, Meg, Wit*, Lisa, Bethany 

* Dedicated to my future wife....um.....maybe she's Taylor Swift!!! Shes too good for me! D'oh!!!

------------------------------------/Her New Name – This is Revenge

Satan is a snake slithering spewing

lies, sophistry the false hope that my love was a garden, prosaic

whispers in your ear “yet there is more”

I only asked that you love me, that you understand my devotion’s severity

to trust that my love was enough for our eternity;

heavenly bliss of kisses forever

that there need be no knowledge of good

nor recognition of evil (outside the warmth of you in my arms)

but you spit on the tree. Visions of prosperity, pleasing to the mind’s eye

my offer, trite your eyes opened; other men richer, stronger, taller

skewed morality, I forever bad

my heartbreak angels with banishing flaming swords my tears

like gale force winds, uprooted shrubs, flowers, innocence in paradise (now lost)

disrupting order with seeds of chaos, and resignation stitched

animal hides, compassion sewn to keep you warm fashions

of eschewal

Eve was a whore

Eden was mirage, a distasteful deception. If the command

was to live in endless passion as a man and woman in unfettered euphoria

yours was the sin

because I used to dream at night, us creating sex in our image

and the children of our choices not wraiths of regret murdering each other  

the gates closed on lover’s destiny, whilst new preparations made

four thousand years for the scars to heal

my new woman

my new wife

my new Eve

will hate snakes, crushing its head of vile acrimony

while kissing me and holding my waist. Romancing me

to undo your treachery

(Her new name: Mary)

---------------Genesis 3:15

And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel