Tragically Conflicted (For Me)

*dedicated to Her Space Holiday, "Tech Romance"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jd4l4euwJAM

And when they had come into the house, they saw the young Child with Mary His mother, and fell down and worshiped Him. And when they had opened their treasures, they presented gifts to Him: gold, frankincense, and myrrh. – Matthew 2:11



------------------------/Frankincense, Myrrh: Tragically Conflicted

Your mother had two contrasting supple breasts
that you drank from when dislodged from the womb
one sweet
one bitter
as one buttressed the other corroded
and so you grew up filled with angst

a toddler
lying on Joseph’s stomach pensive
wide awake as he slept soundly
a teenager
debating with Pharisees and Sadducees
as your peers attempted to steal chariot races
gesticulating the outcomes of battle with mischievous grins
and in adulthood cherishing your virginity
as neighboring families burst with glee
lauding and heralding progeny and genealogy after genealogy
watching elderly couples dance under the winter moon festivals
though you enjoyed the prospect of these things
the joy somehow seemed to sour
when you closed your eyes and dreamed of your own pools of blood
flesh mutilated, torn from bone
blaring shrills as you screamed yourself wide awake
in sync with the rooster’s crowing
and this happened every morning
since your youth
(Mary silently crying to herself in the adjacent room
exasperated)

And I was your Frankincense
I was everything to you, the apple of your eye
as you sucked the left nipple
everything you foresaw – my salvation, my laughter, my wife
my friends, my family, my intrigue at reading your word
my desire to pray, my eternal life joking with you in heaven
my blog, my mannerisms, my hair, my eyes, my lips
my feet, my sense of fashion
delicious
simultaneously knowing the gall
the myrrh
of the right nipple
inexorable misery and macabre brutality
unbearable hatred, insufferable mocking by hands
you fashioned and mouths you deigned to feed
forsaken and alone
nailed to a fate alone reserved for those despicable
back filled with splinters from rotten wood
by fatuous soldiers easily defeated
though you were innocent of all charges
you drank the grotesque milk

a baby afflicted with grief so others would have joy
an adolescent mocked so mankind would be accepted
a man scorned so others could guffaw
tragically conflicted beautiful man



(thanks Dude)






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-From Wikipedia: The Egyptians ground the charred resin into a powder called kohl. Kohl was used to make the distinctive black eyeliner seen on so many figures in Egyptian art. The aroma of frankincense is said to represent life and the Judaic, Christian, and Islamic faiths have often used frankincense mixed with oils to anoint newborn infants and individuals considered to be moving into a new phase in their spiritual lives.


-From Wikipedia: Since ancient times, myrrh has been valued for its fragrance, its medicinal qualities as a wound dressing and an aromatic stomatic and for the ancient Egyptians as the principal ingredient used in the embalming of mummies.


"Tech Romance" Lyrics ------>

I'm sick of seeing you cry
And wasting all your time
On someone who will never care enough
To make you feel loved
To make you feel safe
I would drop my life to take his place

To show you just how good
Being touched could be
Commit these words to memory
For when you find yourself
Pinned under his demands
I am still an option that you have

So carry me around
Like a picture in your purse
Pull me out when things are at their worst

You can show up at my house
Completely unannounced
We'll have that movie kiss we talked about

Where there are no words
Just a soft and gentle score
Our ears will ring from all the strings

We'll let the screen go black
And watch the credits run
And see the names of every one

Who we ever met
And who we ever missed
Each one had a role in this

It's just another film that won't get made
I'm sick of seeing you cry