I dont know what to do

----------------------/

I am restless
I must adhere to all the rules
conform to societal norms
against my will refrain my lips from speaking truthfully
for fear of coming on too strongly and scaring you away
yet you incessantly batter my mind
beset with musings on how compatible we are
how I would love you vigorously – and you would reciprocate
but we don't really know each other
and my consternations are coming to bear
what if you don't even.....
like, what if Im way off base and you never even considered me
that you would never deign to be with me
that Im not your "type"
and here I am beleaguered without you
my heart angst ridden
and you so carefree and nonchalant
Im too afraid to tell you I want to fall in love with you
I dread your terse rejection
I cant speak to you plainly because you and I are so different
people love you
people love to hate me
you were probably encouraged, complimented and cheered on
for the entirety of your life
I had guys punch me, laugh at me, openly mock me,
bellicose men concocting plots to fell me
on a regular basis. Ive been bullied....Im like Ishmael with his hand
against all nations that have arrows aimed his way
so I cant tell you Ive fallen for you
I cant risk your rejection
But I cant stop thinking about you