Chasing Jennifer AKA J-*EF

*Dedicated to that girl who keeps running away from me. Jennifer I will never stop caring for you, loving you...even if you dont love me. I write these poems to get the word out and to proclaim to the public my ardor for you. You are a special woman....In writing this, I sense maybe we will never be together due to circumstances beyond my control. But you know, I wish you and I could have somehow worked out, and I feel to some degree you do too. Everytime you read one of these things, know that it is written with a huge emotional weight on my heart. You mean alot to me, even though we havent spoken for almost a year now. You think to yourself, he must be crazy how can he love me, you dont know me? Jennifer, I know when I know. Keep running, perhaps into another man's arms. But realize and conclude I will never stop chasing you..at least figuratively speaking...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1GZ523wReA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNaBfXdieKY

Jennifer, MY LOVE. ITS ABLAZE FOR YOU like a bush

THEY PUT ME IN A BASKET, JENNIFER....DONT YOU CARE?




Then Pharaoh gave this order to all his people: "Every boy that is born you must throw into the Nile, but let every girl live."
-------------------[Exodus 1-3; Jennifer, My Love for You is a Bush Burning...Forever]




When we met
They put me in a basket, Jennifer,
they were killing babies...
even then my love for you was under seige
Shiphrah and Puah were the two midwives
of fate and never letting go
delivering me from hard truth (Pharaoh)
[.....that you could care less]
attempting to abort aspirations of you and me...
seeking a refuge on my behalf; my only solace a
papyrus basket with tar and pitch
an obstinate heart with grandiose affinities and steadfast loyalty
floating aimlessly
praying for the arms of Pharaoh's daughter
a chance at reformation, to start my quest for you anew

I tried to walk out on my own from there
seeking out my identity in the desert sands
of loneliness
of tears
but the hostility of the truculent social caste system
that says some other guy is more worthy of your love
in Illinois
is inimical to our bond
its too much to bear - its like an egyptian beating a hebrew
or a hebrew beating another hebrew
tearing my soul inside me to shreds

So I run to Midian
its my last resort, its me typing on a laptop at 11:16PM
proverbially sitting by my well of despondency
the 7 daughters of Jethro like opportunity
keep passing me by
but I want to help
and drive away the shepherds that keep telling me to move on
because Jennifer,
my love for you is holy ground
when I look into your green eyes
I want to take off my sandals
in worship. I love you Jennifer, I love you, I love you
my love for you
its like a bush burning but not consumed
screaming I AM (yours)
everlasting








Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the desert and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. There the angel of the LORD appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. So Moses thought, "I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up."


Kill Hannah "The Chase"


The Chase Lyrics
Artist(Band):Kill Hannah

"Drive" you said
"Just blow me away"
We don't wait to be saved
We'll dream wide awake
Words that you said
Were holes through my brain
And I'll never be the same again...

You can pray all you want
We're not coming back oh...
All these thoughts, they just fade away...

The chase is on
If you run
I will follow you...
And I belong in your arms
Dying next to you
The chase is on...

"Drive" you said
With tears down your face
I've got to see the stars
Is that so hard?
Secrets that day
I'll take to the grave
Yeah, no one can catch us now...

You can pray all you want
We're not coming back oh...
We're the phoenix above the flame...

The chase is on
If you run
I will follow you...
And I belong in your arms
Dying next to you
The chase is on...

The chase is on
If you run
I will follow you
And I belong in your arms
Dying next to you...
The chase is on
If you run
I will follow you...
The chase is on
I belong in your arms...

The. Chase. Is. On.

My 28th Birthday

Man, its crazy. Time is flying by so quickly yo. Looking back, there are so many things I wish I could have accomplished at this point. Its like I wish I could turn back the hands of time. But yo, there is still alot to do, I gotta push on, before time runs out! Read below, dawg! Its like I wish I could just take Time and make out with her*..

Time Is SO Sexy.

Matthew 24:42-44
Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.


-------------------------Dedicated to Time, Divider Between God and Man. Sexy Woman


You are beautiful
your body, an hour glass
each moment I stare at you is like a grain of sand
falling
and I keep shifting you in my mind
so the euphoria never stops
and I like flirting with you, hoping my charm
will forever alter my fate

You have cleavage of opportunity
Full lips of second chances
when you cross your legs its like destiny
exposed
bare flesh of serendipity
and I want to feel it so badly and take hold
your arms are like clock hands
slender, yet firm moving exotically in circles
mesmerizing minutes as days pass by
your neck is like haste, smooth yet hard to grasp
it makes me want to pull on your hair
to make sure you dont run away
and I lose the boy
and suddenly become an old man

Your hips are wide, and mysterious
they are like patience
gradually enjoyed, gradually attained, gradually held
after much effort, suave words.
Your eyes dazzling like portals to the past and future concurrent
Baby, I cant get enough of you
I want
I need more of you
understand I am nothing without you, girl
because when you leave
there is nothing else

(but judgment)





Hebrews 3:13
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.

1 Thessalonians 5:1-4
Now, brothers, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.But you, brothers, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief.

Matthew 24:40-42
Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come.

Scarlett Johansson, Ignore the Dismembered Hand: PLEASE!

*HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU, IN THEATERS TOMORROW! GO SEE IT, AND REMEMBER TO PUT IN A GOOD WORD WITH SCARLETT FOR ME!



[Suddenly the fingers of a human hand appeared and wrote on the plaster of the wall, near the lampstand in the royal palace. The king watched the hand as it wrote...]
----- Scarlett Johansson, I Love You, But Baby the Writing Is On the Wall For Us


Scarlett, baby I am in a drunken stupor
without you
Life is like one thousand mindless cronies of mine
Life is like a multitude of wives and concubines
but still feeling empty inside
and this loneliness is like fabricated raging laughter and lascivious behavior
inside the banquet hall of my heart
because nothing satisfies
not gold and silver, not bronze, iron, nor wood and stone
the idols of sleeping around, and chasing fruitless pleasure
(stolen and profaned from the Jerusalem of my lost innocence)
though I lavish praise on them
it doesn't replace the need for your presence

And my worst fear is to die without you
To fall asleep another night wondering where you are
whether or not you love me
to lose your favor would be like a dismembered hand,
girl
etching dark sayings on the wall
(with everyone watching)
MENE is Tony Conti single forever
MENE even more emphatic
TEKE is Scarlet Johansson kissing another man
PERES is my dreams of marriage forever buried
the very thought of such things makes my face pale
and my knees knock together

I will give any man
robes purple and a gold chain on his neck
if he can tell me there is nothing to be afraid of...
that though my father ate grass like an animal
I will not have to eat from the plate of doomed romance
Slain by a failed attempt
To wrap you in my arms, Scarlett



[PLEASE BABY TELL ME WHAT THE WRITINGS ON THE WALL MEAN FOR US! PLEASE TELL ME THEY MEAN GOOD THINGS! PLEASE???]



--------------------------

Daniel 5
1 King Belshazzar gave a great banquet for a thousand of his nobles and drank wine with them. 2 While Belshazzar was drinking his wine, he gave orders to bring in the gold and silver goblets that Nebuchadnezzar his father had taken from the temple in Jerusalem, so that the king and his nobles, his wives and his concubines might drink from them. 3 So they brought in the gold goblets that had been taken from the temple of God in Jerusalem, and the king and his nobles, his wives and his concubines drank from them. 4 As they drank the wine, they praised the gods of gold and silver, of bronze, iron, wood and stone. 5 Suddenly the fingers of a human hand appeared and wrote on the plaster of the wall, near the lampstand in the royal palace. The king watched the hand as it wrote. 6 His face turned pale and he was so frightened that his knees knocked together and his legs gave way. 7 The king called out for the enchanters, astrologers and diviners to be brought and said to these wise men of Babylon, "Whoever reads this writing and tells me what it means will be clothed in purple and have a gold chain placed around his neck, and he will be made the third highest ruler in the kingdom." 8 Then all the king's wise men came in, but they could not read the writing or tell the king what it meant. 9 So King Belshazzar became even more terrified and his face grew more pale. His nobles were baffled.
10 The queen, hearing the voices of the king and his nobles, came into the banquet hall. "O king, live forever!" she said. "Don't be alarmed! Don't look so pale! 11 There is a man in your kingdom who has the spirit of the holy gods in him. In the time of your father he was found to have insight and intelligence and wisdom like that of the gods. King Nebuchadnezzar your father—your father the king, I say—appointed him chief of the magicians, enchanters, astrologers and diviners. 12 This man Daniel, whom the king called Belteshazzar, was found to have a keen mind and knowledge and understanding, and also the ability to interpret dreams, explain riddles and solve difficult problems. Call for Daniel, and he will tell you what the writing means." 13 So Daniel was brought before the king, and the king said to him, "Are you Daniel, one of the exiles my father the king brought from Judah? 14 I have heard that the spirit of the gods is in you and that you have insight, intelligence and outstanding wisdom. 15 The wise men and enchanters were brought before me to read this writing and tell me what it means, but they could not explain it. 16 Now I have heard that you are able to give interpretations and to solve difficult problems. If you can read this writing and tell me what it means, you will be clothed in purple and have a gold chain placed around your neck, and you will be made the third highest ruler in the kingdom." 17 Then Daniel answered the king, "You may keep your gifts for yourself and give your rewards to someone else. Nevertheless, I will read the writing for the king and tell him what it means. 18 "O king, the Most High God gave your father Nebuchadnezzar sovereignty and greatness and glory and splendor. 19 Because of the high position he gave him, all the peoples and nations and men of every language dreaded and feared him. Those the king wanted to put to death, he put to death; those he wanted to spare, he spared; those he wanted to promote, he promoted; and those he wanted to humble, he humbled. 20 But when his heart became arrogant and hardened with pride, he was deposed from his royal throne and stripped of his glory. 21 He was driven away from people and given the mind of an animal; he lived with the wild donkeys and ate grass like cattle; and his body was drenched with the dew of heaven, until he acknowledged that the Most High God is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and sets over them anyone he wishes. 22 "But you his son, O Belshazzar, have not humbled yourself, though you knew all this. 23 Instead, you have set yourself up against the Lord of heaven. You had the goblets from his temple brought to you, and you and your nobles, your wives and your concubines drank wine from them. You praised the gods of silver and gold, of bronze, iron, wood and stone, which cannot see or hear or understand. But you did not honor the God who holds in his hand your life and all your ways. 24 Therefore he sent the hand that wrote the inscription.

25 "This is the inscription that was written:
Mene , Mene , Tekel , Parsin

26 "This is what these words mean:
Mene: God has numbered the days of your reign and brought it to an end.

27 Tekel: You have been weighed on the scales and found wanting.

28 Peres: Your kingdom is divided and given to the Medes and Persians."

29 Then at Belshazzar's command, Daniel was clothed in purple, a gold chain was placed around his neck, and he was proclaimed the third highest ruler in the kingdom. 30 That very night Belshazzar, king of the Babylonians, was slain, 31 and Darius the Mede took over the kingdom, at the age of sixty-two.

The Strength of Woman

Village life in Israel ceased,
ceased until I, Deborah, arose,
arose a mother in Israel. [Judges 5:7]

-------------[ A Woman's Worth]


I am girl; I am like precious ointment
without me creation's wounds fester
Ehud is dead
and all over the land
evil is like this thick dark fog descending
enslaving people
cracking my tender heart;
under the cumulative cruelty of Jabin
all eyes have become inured to pain
twenty years: of suffering and lament
my only cure is
a mother's love
the graceful beauty of fortitude feminine
to nurture under the Palm of Deborah
and to impart wisdom between Ramah and Bethel
wrapping Israel in my arms

I am worth more than rubies
and my resolve more than
ten thousand men of Naphtali and Zebulun under my command
formidable like Sisera are the struggles I face
(powerful like male melancholy and cynicism)
...chief of the army of Jabin
yet I hold the confidence of my people still.
without me the strongest of men are but Barak
warriors without a war, husbands without brides
big exterior muscles yet deep needs within
To a woman with strength men always confess
"If you go with me, I will go; but if you don't go with me, I won't go."
I am his desire
my companionship necessary

Woman is the most valuable asset
our loyalty endures as far as Mount Tabor
standing by the side of man, giving him faith to succeed
to chase wild dreams to Harosheth and Haggoyim
even those evasive ones that
abandon their chariots and flee on foot
and we revel when the Lord routs his enemies
because his victory is ours shared. because
we always speak last
even if we dont get the final word
like Jael wife of Heber, the legacy lives on
may the Lord drive a tent peg through the head
of all who doubt the strength

(...proudly feminine...proudly strong)


I am Mother
I am Sister
I am Daughter
I am Wife
I am Judge





------------
Judges 4:4-10
Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lappidoth, was leading Israel at that time. She held court under the Palm of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in the hill country of Ephraim, and the Israelites came to her to have their disputes decided. She sent for Barak son of Abinoam from Kedesh in Naphtali and said to him, "The LORD, the God of Israel, commands you: 'Go, take with you ten thousand men of Naphtali and Zebulun and lead the way to Mount Tabor. I will lure Sisera, the commander of Jabin's army, with his chariots and his troops to the Kishon River and give him into your hands.' "Barak said to her, "If you go with me, I will go; but if you don't go with me, I won't go." "Very well," Deborah said, "I will go with you. But because of the way you are going about this, the honor will not be yours, for the LORD will hand Sisera over to a woman." So Deborah went with Barak to Kedesh, where he summoned Zebulun and Naphtali. Ten thousand men followed him, and Deborah also went with him.

Judges 5:12
'Wake up, wake up, Deborah!
Wake up, wake up, break out in song!
Arise, O Barak!
Take captive your captives, O son of Abinoam.'

Jennifer Connelly Is Worth The Four Drachma Tax [I AM JUST THAT INTO HER!]

[* Yall, know I cant get enough of Jennifer Connelly right? I tell you what...search my blog for the words "Jennifer Connelly," and most assuredly you will find another poem I penned in her honor previously (i.e. I want to baptize Jennifer Connelly). Now listen, if you want to know my "type," she is TOTALLY my type, dawg. I mean, I swear she must be the most beautiful woman in Hollywood. CHECK OUT HER NEW MOVIE – HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. In theaters this Friday! God I wish I could marry this woman! But alas, she’s just not that into me. ]




After Jesus and his disciples arrived in Capernaum, the collectors of the two-drachma tax came to Peter and asked, "Doesn't your teacher pay the temple tax?"

------------Jennifer Connelly, I Love You Baby, My Hope for Us Is a Four-Drachma Coin

The temple is our love, Jennifer
Capernaum is the land of lingering passion
and bright constellations at night
...signs of my affection voiced
and full moons and the gravitas of wanting you
but not having you...staring – falling asleep with tears in my eyes
red
of not attaining to your lips
and not dancing with you by the sound of the harp (and drums)
at our wedding feast
it is where I always dream of kneeling before you
a homage to many of your miracles
-feeding 5,000 [expectancies of romance]
- walking on water [of my heart]
- making the deaf hear [the sound of my soul singing to you]

Doubts creep in my mind
(will you and I ever be together?)
they are like stern collectors of the two-drachma tax
costly, unbearable
and intrusive. Intent at
levying the admission you and I are never meant to be
but I am like Peter optimistic and bold
"Yes [s]he does" love me
"Yes [s]he does" want to have my child
"Yes [s]he does" pray to be mine
I tell them
even though I cant pay the tax

Jennifer, they would treat us common, not like royalty
denying access to our love
If I was a king, and you my queen
we would be exempt from this dread and second guessing
together on my throne,
but I wont give up
...I will do anything for your love.
on the waters of improbable grace
I will throw out my line of lovelorn persistence
and take the first fish
that bellows out his belief in our love
opening his mouth with the riches of faith
in a man and woman destined (to kiss)
There will I find the coin worth four drachmas
that gains us admission
so we can enter the temple hand in hand...
two stars forever shining

[the effulgence of you, and the effulgence of me - together]


[no more crying at night]



Matthew 17:24-27
After Jesus and his disciples arrived in Capernaum, the collectors of the two-drachma tax came to Peter and asked, "Doesn't your teacher pay the temple tax?" "Yes, he does," he replied. When Peter came into the house, Jesus was the first to speak. "What do you think, Simon?" he asked. "From whom do the kings of the earth collect duty and taxes—from their own sons or from others?" "From others," Peter answered. "Then the sons are exempt," Jesus said to him. "But so that we may not offend them, go to the lake and throw out your line. Take the first fish you catch; open its mouth and you will find a four-drachma coin. Take it and give it to them for my tax and yours."

Jesus is Dead....He's Dead

Luke 23:54-56 [It was Preparation Day, and the Sabbath was about to begin. The women who had come with Jesus from Galilee followed Joseph and saw the tomb and how his body was laid in it. Then they went home and prepared spices and perfumes. But they rested on the Sabbath in obedience to the commandment.]

-----Black Sabbath------------ The Thoughts Of Mary Magdalene Upon Preparing Spices For The Body Of Jesus



You imagine for yourself
two lives;
One kneeling before a resplendent King
radiant on His Throne
a Savior with a strong Arm, mighty
palms at His feet, cheering throngs beyond His chambers
and you reminisce on all the people healed
and demons expelled
and people fed
and you weep (while smiling)
with the exuberance of Lazarus
loved, forgiven
forever more

The other: disenchanted
standing adjacent to a body in linen wrapped
trapped behind an irreverent stone
a man full of dreams
teeming with potential killed for
misunderstandings
and cynicism peppers your mind and
everything you thought you saw
and the sanity of those who say
"he walked on water like dry land"
You muse to yourself
what natural circumstances calm winds
at a mere carpenter’s beck and call?
(from Nazareth, none the less)

Confusion, fear, sadness anger,
pity, remorse
if your King died tonight
youd better meticulously prepare the best spices
(like you never have before)
to stave off unseemly stench
you make sure the aroma of his body
is as sweet as his memory
as majestic as his love, for you
for Israel



Luke 24:1-3 [Now on the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they, and certain other women with them, came to the tomb bringing the spices which they had prepared. But they found the stone rolled away from the tomb. Then they went in and did not find the body of the Lord Jesus.]