Ylos

Ylos*
I feel decrepit within
like I lost my manhood when you smiled at me
and I turned away my glance
You welcomed me with your disposition
and I sneered
but I didn’t really sneer but it probably had that affect
I returned your kindness
with deafening silence
I absconded into the night – during the day
with all your dignity
I never wanted to treat anyone this way….

Its just – you told me you had a boyfriend
that you couldn’t do lunch
...what was I to make of that?
if I befriend you, it would be like stepping on a poison adder
like consenting to conspiracy
like using our conversation as a subterfuge
(I dont want trouble with nobody, Im not bellicose)
I wanted you

You knew that

How could I treacherously plot to take another man’s girl?
I would not want that same fate dealt me
So I stonewall the exchange of any pleasantries
out of respect – for you, him, and me
I don’t want that to be our legacy – that I am a pilferer
of love

No – you enjoy your boyfriend
Im sorry that you just don’t quite understand this

Dont....Just Dont Okay?

You were not supposed to do this
you ravaged my time and my heart
leaving only decibels behind
your face screams in my dreams
your voice
the casual conversations we had rages
memories of you wring my soul
I cover my ears in my sleep

I don’t want to not want to live without you
that was not my plan
I don’t want to be vulnerable anymore,
not to anyone – I know what that's like
and it took years for the pangs to subside
the madness, the folly of it
it makes me capricious
it makes me fear you, because your presence
it afflicts me
I want to fall in love,
but I don’t want to fall in love with you

not if youre going to hurt me
please don’t hurt me
please love me
or leave

forever
but I don't want you to leave
its just that I cant stop thinking about you
don’t do this to me
don’t do this to me

My Enemies Are Absalom Hanged

*Dedicated to anyone who ever rejected, slandered, mistreated, abused, or resented me without cause. to all those jealous of me, to all those who plot and lay traps.

*Dedicated to all those people out there who are tired of laying down at the feet of unjust men

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=707486524355

[[[Psalm 58:10 - The righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance: he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked]]]

-------------------------/Absalom Hanged/---------------------

You killed Amnon (my self-esteem) surreptitiously,
You incited revolt among the people (mocked me publicly) –
upstaging the King
foolishly debasing Ahithophel (sensibility) and heeding Hushai (my wryness)
to your ruin
I did nothing to provoke your wrath
or to deserve your coup d'état (excessive cruelty)
it was your flawed character that compelled you
turning to evil and conspiring with the dark angel (of jealously and fear;
possessed by an uncanny malevolence)
while I camp in Mahanaim (the arms of God), unbeknownst and undetected

I pray you meet your end in the woods of Ephraim
Battling, and striving to best me
may your ambitions be slaughtered and scattered over the countryside
may the woods devour more of your dreams than my anger ever can
because you are pretentious
you ride your intentions like a steed, but sardonically they look like a mule
I hope thick boughs of a great terebinth tree manifest your futility
and hang you by your neck
gasping, wheezing as your lungs mercifully gasp for air
your legs dangle and your body convulses – violently
as my fury then pursues like Joab with no compassion
like a hardened soldier salivating, disgusted and jaded at his enemy
bolstering his disdain thrice
thrusting three spears straight through your chest
smiling as the blood pours profusely from your wounds

blowing a horn
ordering ten more men to slash and impale you ten more times
then your body and your efforts I will have cast in a large pit
heaps of stones thrown over your shameless reputation
(so your body can rot alone)
until all that remains is a pillar
that serves as a monument to your impotence





---------------------------------2 Samuel 18:6-18
So the people went out into the field of battle against Israel. And the battle was in the woods of Ephraim. The people of Israel were overthrown there before the servants of David, and a great slaughter of twenty thousand took place there that day. For the battle there was scattered over the face of the whole countryside, and the woods devoured more people that day than the sword devoured. Then Absalom met the servants of David. Absalom rode on a mule. The mule went under the thick boughs of a great terebinth tree, and his head caught in the terebinth; so he was left hanging between heaven and earth. And the mule which was under him went on. Now a certain man saw it and told Joab, and said, "I just saw Absalom hanging in a terebinth tree!” So Joab said to the man who told him, “You just saw him! And why did you not strike him there to the ground? I would have given you ten shekels of silver and a belt.” But the man said to Joab, “Though I were to receive a thousand shekels of silver in my hand, I would not raise my hand against the king's son. For in our hearing the king commanded you and Abishai and Ittai, saying, 'Beware lest anyone touch the young man Absalom!'Otherwise I would have dealt falsely against my own life. For there is nothing hidden from the king, and you yourself would have set yourself against me." Then Joab said, "I cannot linger with you." And he took three spears in his hand and thrust them through Absalom’s heart, while he was still alive in the midst of the terebinth tree. And ten young men who bore Joab's armor surrounded Absalom, and struck and killed him. So Joab blew the trumpet, and the people returned from pursuing Israel. For Joab held back the people. And they took Absalom and cast him into a large pit in the woods, and laid a very large heap of stones over him. Then all Israel fled, everyone to his tent. Now Absalom in his lifetime had taken and set up a pillar for himself, which is in the King's Valley. For he said, "I have no son to keep my name in remembrance." He called the pillar after his own name. And to this day it is called Absalom's Monument.


-------Alesana [Endings Without Stories] Lyrics

this time I die

our love ruined by your malignance
broken shards of feelings are now just tainted memories left
beautiful dreams that I cherished now are so disgusting as I strangle the light from you

I watched the smile fading from your face
you bled till there was nothing in your veins
blood stains my hands so I won't forget you
its all over now so dry your eyes
there is no forgiveness, be afraid to die
blood stains my hands so I won't forget you

tears fall as your screams of anguish rage throughout the heavens
amidst the penance you must pay
caress this bullet as eyes close to the painful memories you left
consume the rest of me
my vision of you has now turned to dust, your porcelain smile gone

I watched the smile fading from your face
you bled till there was nothing in your veins
blood stains my hands so I won't forget you
its all over now so dry your eyes... there is no forgiveness, be afraid to die
blood stains my hands so I won't forget you

you let me go
you let me go too soon
I love you are meaningless words that slip away as I slit your throat
and I will slit your throat

Gamaliel

* Dedicated to *****
* Dedicated to The Used, "I Caught Fire"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLoOx86A6bE

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=707219863745


-----------------------------/Gamaliel /-------------------

MEN OF ISRAEL – skeptics, critics, pessimists, naysayers and dissidents of love

I get it, okay?
My heart has hasn’t been seized with anxiety like this
for quite sometime
and I know the risks inherent in this undertaking
I once was Theudas with four hundred reasons
to expect fulfillment of my aspirations, but I was slain
and they were scattered, discouraged
by reason of rejection
(I know the piercing desolation of the soul
of not being wanted)
I was Judas of Gaililee formerly, filled with momentum
intent on engaging any and all citizens
determining interest in me, a census, and many supporters followed
hoping to see my goal realized
but seeing the results my soul perished,
and all who obeyed me were dispersed....and
there was still no one found to stand by me
and now I say to you, keep away from my yearning
and let it alone
if I am set on doing this in my own strength
like all the other times I mentioned, it will fail
but if this person* is from God
our shared destiny cannot be overthrown
...so don't try to stand in my way
or fight against this pursuit of love,
lest you be found to fight against God





-------------------------Acts 5:33-42
When they heard this, they were furious and plotted to kill them. Then one in the council stood up, a Pharisee named Gamaliel, a teacher of the law held in respect by all the people, and commanded them to put the apostles outside for a little while. And he said to them: “Men of Israel, take heed to yourselves what you intend to do regarding these men. For some time ago Theudas rose up, claiming to be somebody. A number of men, about four hundred, joined him. He was slain, and all who obeyed him were scattered and came to nothing. After this man, Judas of Galilee rose up in the days of the census, and drew away many people after him. He also perished, and all who obeyed him were dispersed. And now I say to you, keep away from these men and let them alone; for if this plan or this work is of men, it will come to nothing; but if it is of God, you cannot overthrow it—lest you even be found to fight against God." And they agreed with him, and when they had called for the apostles and beaten them, they commanded that they should not speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go. So they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for His name. And daily in the temple, and in every house, they did not cease teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ.


--------------I Caught Fire Lyrics

Seemed to stop my breath
My head on your chest
Waiting to cave in
From the bottom of my...
Hear your voice again
Could we dim the sun
And wonder where we've been
Maybe you and me
So kiss me like you did
My heart stopped beating
Such a softer sin...

(I'm melting, Im melting)
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while

And I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
Now

Never caught my breath
Every second I'm without you I'm a mess
Ever know each other
Trust these words are stones
Why cuts aren't healing
(why cuts aren't healing)
Learning how to love

I'm melting (I'm melting)
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
And I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
(Stay with me lay with me now)

You could stay and watch me fall
And of course I'll ask for help
Just stay with me now
We could take our heads off
stay in bed and just make love that's all
(stay in bed, just make love that's all)
Just stay with me now

I'm melting (I'm melting)
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
and I'm melting

In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
and I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me lay with me
(Stay with me, lay with me)

In your eyes
Let's sleep till the sun burns out
I'm melting in your eyes (I'm melting in your eyes)
In your eyes
Let's sleep till the sun burns out
I'm melting in your eyes

Nicki Minaj, There is a Covenant of Fire Passing Between Us!

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=706214278945

-------------Nicki Minaj, Confirm Our Covenant Of Love Please!-----------


Nicki, baby, I don't want to be without you
I don’t want Eliezer of Damascus, the horrid fate of dying alone,
to be my heart’s heir –
I don’t want to know life if youre not near....
Look towards heaven at night and try to count–
as innumerable as the stars are in the sky: so shall our kisses be
your kindness has delivered me from the land of Ur, of the Chaldeans
the land of maniacal women who only wish me harm and rejection
the pain of a broken soul; indifferent to my feelings
I will bring you sacrifices symbolizing our perpetual concord
a three-year-old heifer of singular focus and attention
a three-year-old female goat of steadfast fidelity to you always
a three-year-old ram of passionate embraces
a turtledove for backrubs and shared bubblebaths
a young pigeon for serenading you with songs
cut down the middle because I want us to share this romance equally
half and half – two lovers to complete this amour
but the serenading belongs to me!
And invariably if those vultures come, those jealous
those conniving and diabolical critics of our relationship
(the Kenites, theKadmonites, the Hittites, etc)
I will drive them away....I will protect all that we cherish and hold dear
anyone that afflicts us will be judged, that I promise
Our unity will be like a smoking oven
like a burning torch passing between our keepsakes
and sentiments, sparking them
and keeping our hearts ablaze for one another
– sealing our covenant
From the river of Egypt to the great river, the River Euphrates
I will proclaim how much I cherish you, and need you
The world will know the eternal and everlasting power of our love
henceforth




-----------Genesis 15-------
After these things the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision, saying, "Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your exceedingly great reward." But Abram said, "Lord GOD, what will You give me, seeing I go childless, and the heir of my house is Eliezer of Damascus?" Then Abram said, “Look, You have given me no offspring; indeed one born in my house is my heir!" And behold, the word of the LORD came to him, saying, "This one shall not be your heir, but one who will come from your own body shall be your heir." Then He brought him outside and said, "Look now toward heaven, and count the stars if you are able to number them." And He said to him, "So shall your descendants be." And he believed in the LORD, and He accounted it to him for righteousness. Then He said to him, "I am the LORD, who brought you out of Ur of the Chaldeans, to give you this land to inherit it. And he said, "Lord GOD, how shall I know that I will inherit it?" So He said to him, "Bring Me a three-year-old heifer, a three-year-old female goat, a three-year-old ram, a turtledove, and a young pigeon." Then he brought all these to Him and cut them in two, down the middle, and placed each piece opposite the other; but he did not cut the birds in two. And when the vultures came down on the carcasses, Abram drove them away. Now when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and behold, horror and great darkness fell upon him. Then He said to Abram: "Know certainly that your descendants will be strangers in a land that is not theirs, and will serve them, and they will afflict them four hundred years. And also the nation whom they serve I will judge; afterward they shall come out with great possessions. Now as for you, you shall go to your fathers in peace; you shall be buried at a good old age. But in the fourth generation they shall return here, for the iniquity of the Amorites is not yet complete." And it came to pass, when the sun went down and it was dark, that behold, there appeared a smoking oven and a burning torch that passed between those pieces. On the same day the LORD made a covenant with Abram, saying: "To your descendants I have given this land, from the river of Egypt to the great river, the River Euphrates— the Kenites, the Kenezzites, the Kadmonites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Rephaim, the Amorites, the Canaanites, the Girgashites, and the Jebusites."

Kate Gosselin, Baby, Dont Make Me Eat Grass!!!....please???

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=705723282905

Kate, you dont have to Dance With The Stars to Be MY Star! You already shine in my heart, baby!!! But about those eight kids....you see.....the thing is......I only make $.....


--------------------------/Daniel 4: Kate Gosselin, Dont Make Me Eat Grass!!!/


My love for you is a tree in the middle of the land
enormous
(a vast militaristic pagan empire subjugating the inhabitants of the earth)
Its peak touching the sky, with aspirations of growth unrestrained
hoping to eclipse the sun, or at least cast a silhouette;
a picturesque sentiment reminding all of my ardor
for you. The leaves of my affections for you are beautiful,
with abundant fruit
and every joy like birds of the air or creatures of the field can feed there
to their complete satisfaction.

And I am careful not to take you for granted,
or to ever, full of pride, desecrate what I hold so dear
traipsing on the roof of my palace bragging how I obtained you by my might
because I fear your rejection like a messenger, a holy one,
coming down from heaven
restless, tossing and turning in my nightmares proclaiming:
Cut down the tree and trim off its branches;
strip off its leaves and scatter its fruit.
let the animals flee from under it and the birds from its branches
(yet even then I know your mercy would permit the stump and its roots
of my heart to remain in the ground)
let him be drenched with the dew of heaven,
and let him live with the animals

Kate without you,
I am a man without shelter, a ruler without his empire
savage, vicious, barbaric, primitive, uncivil and unrefined
driven away from his people, walking on his hands and knees
eating grass with unkempt hair like feathers and claws for hands and nails
void of reason and pitiable…growling and hissing.
It is only by your side that I can raise my eyes towards heaven (the sky)
with my sanity always intact
mindful that your dominion, of love, is an eternal dominion
mindful of how bad I need your hugs
realizing you can give your devotion, and loyalty to whoever you wish
recognizing your kiss is a blessing, not a right




(If I walk in pride, I will be humbled)


[I love you baby! Forget Jon! Its Kate and Tony plus Eight!!!!)




---Daniel 4----
King Nebuchadnezzar,
To the peoples, nations and men of every language, who live in all the world:
May you prosper greatly!
It is my pleasure to tell you about the miraculous signs and wonders that the Most High God has performed for me.
How great are his signs,
how mighty his wonders!
His kingdom is an eternal kingdom;
his dominion endures from generation to generation.
I, Nebuchadnezzar, was at home in my palace, contented and prosperous. I had a dream that made me afraid. As I was lying in my bed, the images and visions that passed through my mind terrified me. So I commanded that all the wise men of Babylon be brought before me to interpret the dream for me. When the magicians, enchanters, astrologers and diviners came, I told them the dream, but they could not interpret it for me. Finally, Daniel came into my presence and I told him the dream. (He is called Belteshazzar, after the name of my god, and the spirit of the holy gods is in him.) I said, "Belteshazzar, chief of the magicians, I know that the spirit of the holy gods is in you, and no mystery is too difficult for you. Here is my dream; interpret it for me. These are the visions I saw while lying in my bed: I looked, and there before me stood a tree in the middle of the land. Its height was enormous. The tree grew large and strong and its top touched the sky; it was visible to the ends of the earth. Its leaves were beautiful, its fruit abundant, and on it was food for all. Under it the beasts of the field found shelter, and the birds of the air lived in its branches; from it every creature was fed. "In the visions I saw while lying in my bed, I looked, and there before me was a messenger, a holy one, coming down from heaven. He called in a loud voice: 'Cut down the tree and trim off its branches; strip off its leaves and scatter its fruit. Let the animals flee from under it and the birds from its branches. But let the stump and its roots, bound with iron and bronze, remain in the ground, in the grass of the field. “ 'Let him be drenched with the dew of heaven, and let him live with the animals among the plants of the earth. Let his mind be changed from that of a man and let him be given the mind of an animal, till seven times pass by for him.
" 'The decision is announced by messengers, the holy ones declare the verdict, so that the living may know that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes and sets over them the lowliest of men.'"This is the dream that I, King Nebuchadnezzar, had. Now, Belteshazzar, tell me what it means, for none of the wise men in my kingdom can interpret it for me. But you can, because the spirit of the holy gods is in you." Then Daniel (also called Belteshazzar) was greatly perplexed for a time, and his thoughts terrified him. So the king said, "Belteshazzar, do not let the dream or its meaning alarm you." Belteshazzar answered, "My lord, if only the dream applied to your enemies and its meaning to your adversaries! The tree you saw, which grew large and strong, with its top touching the sky, visible to the whole earth, with beautiful leaves and abundant fruit, providing food for all, giving shelter to the beasts of the field, and having nesting places in its branches for the birds of the air- you, O king, are that tree! You have become great and strong; your greatness has grown until it reaches the sky, and your dominion extends to distant parts of the earth. "You, O king, saw a messenger, a holy one, coming down from heaven and saying, 'Cut down the tree and destroy it, but leave the stump, bound with iron and bronze, in the grass of the field, while its roots remain in the ground. Let him be drenched with the dew of heaven; let him live like the wild animals, until seven times pass by for him.' "This is the interpretation, O king, and this is the decree the Most High has issued against my lord the king: You will be driven away from people and will live with the wild animals; you will eat grass like cattle and be drenched with the dew of heaven. Seven times will pass by for you until you acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes. The command to leave the stump of the tree with its roots means that your kingdom will be restored to you when you acknowledge that Heaven rules. Therefore, O king, be pleased to accept my advice: Renounce your sins by doing what is right, and your wickedness by being kind to the oppressed. It may be that then your prosperity will continue." All this happened to King Nebuchadnezzar. Twelve months later, as the king was walking on the roof of the royal palace of Babylon, he said, "Is not this the great Babylon I have built as the royal residence, by my mighty power and for the glory of my majesty?" The words were still on his lips when a voice came from heaven, "This is what is decreed for you, King Nebuchadnezzar: Your royal authority has been taken from you. You will be driven away from people and will live with the wild animals; you will eat grass like cattle. Seven times will pass by for you until you acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes." Immediately what had been said about Nebuchadnezzar was fulfilled. He was driven away from people and ate grass like cattle. His body was drenched with the dew of heaven until his hair grew like the feathers of an eagle and his nails like the claws of a bird. At the end of that time, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven, and my sanity was restored. Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever.
His dominion is an eternal dominion;
his kingdom endures from generation to generation.
All the peoples of the earth
are regarded as nothing.
He does as he pleases
with the powers of heaven
and the peoples of the earth.
No one can hold back his hand
or say to him: "What have you done?"
At the same time that my sanity was restored, my honor and splendor were returned to me for the glory of my kingdom. My advisers and nobles sought me out, and I was restored to my throne and became even greater than before. Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble.

Moment of Clarity

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=705449761045


When he had said this, he breathed his last


----------------------/Clarity – The Last Thoughts of Jesus On the Cross/

Most men spend the entirety of their lives
not knowing who they are
refuting characterizations of what they are not
seeking, straining, striving to find themselves among the bedlam
of uncertainties
of doubts
for some it takes a lifetime, and other less time
yet others an eternity
walking on water, distributing fish and bread to thousands
when there really is none to give
raising the dead, gleaning tax money from piscaries
casting demons into large herds of pigs
giving clarity of sight to eyes enveloped in onyx light
souls in shadows deprived of sun since birth
praying for respite from the eclipse
and still they don't understand who you are
and where they stand in relation
you come from heaven, and they from dust
you come to redeem, as they are lost in sin
yet they slander, and don't quite understand
labeling you as the one full of sin
in the presence of truth they profess what they are not:
tolerant of the One who ushers it in,
and subverts their pride, transforming grown men into children
who in turn deny their true Father for a false one
losing themselves in the process: discombobulated
The vigilant fight for obtuseness, the adamant stance against
love by whipping, slapping, spitting, mocking, crucifying
when their scarred souls need love most
(they know not what they do)
but even though nails pierce my hands and feet
there is no confusion
I know who I am, and where I am going



----------------------------
Luke 23: 44-46
It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Jesus called out with a loud voice, "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit." When he had said this, he breathed his last.

----------------------------
Kill Hannah "Last Night Here" Lyrics
-------------------------------
This is our last night here
The air is cold as ice
All the trees that lost their leaves
Are reflected in our eyes
This is our last night here
Or so it seems
Silence like the darkest waters in a submarine...

This is our last night here
On planet Earth
And I don't want my heart
'Cause it always hurts
If this is our last night here
I won't kick and scream
I'll just grab onto you
And I dare to breathe...

If it's is our last night here for long
I'm gonna put this record on
I'm gonna burn this city down
And we'll watch the glow until it's gone
But before I go insane
There's something else to say
You thought you were alone
But I was with you all the way...

With you all the way
With you all the way...

If this is our last night here
On planet Earth
Then I'll give you my heart
'Cause it hurts too much
If this is our last night here
I won't change a thing
I'll just grab onto you
And I feel you breathe...

If this is our last night here...
If this is our last night here...
If this is our last night here
I'll grab onto you
Just to feel you breathe...

Breathe
Breathe
Breathe
Breathe
Breathe
Breathe
Breathe….