Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Couldn't you men keep watch with me for one hour?" he asked Peter. – Matthew 26:40
* Dedicated to the Virgin Mary
*dedicated to Amity Affliction, Pittsburgh
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vu3xGr-lNVI
-------------------/Amen
What is it about trauma that drives one
out into the dead of night kneeling
before a congress of stars pleading
for peace of mind? Is it to conjure up cherished
chrysanthemums freshly plucked,
conspiracies to charm coddles from Mom? Memories
of her sweet radiant smile as balm
when the fires of Hell are raging and
you have already smelled the smoke in your sleep,
nightmares of your skeleton disembodied
walking house to house, frayed knuckles rapping on doors
informing your disciples the dream is dead. A lifeless
lamb forever etched in their hearts of nostalgia
forlorn;
a penumbra descending like a plume of black mist
on all the miracles you ever
performed…now in vain, written off as chicanery
of the Baals. But only now the division between
subconscious and conscious thinking has fallen,
the notional-cum-reality while wide awake,
existence as perpetual restlessness
your head on the lap of angels wiping
all your tears with their wings.
And who can offer solace, while one is in a state
like this? The sobering truth is Death draws near
inexorably
with a sly, cynical and savage grin (and rusty nails).
Prayers for the panicked -
when you want more than anything
to change the world
so bad in fact drops of blood
glistening under this haunted moon
fall off your face as sweat.
You tell yourself, as you hear footsteps
approaching with torches and swords,
that everything returns to Spirit
in the end anyway.
(That no matter what, you will be One with God)
--------------------Matthew 26:36-46
Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to the disciples, “Sit here while I go and pray over there.” And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and He began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed. Then He said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.” He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” Then He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, “What! Could you not watch with Me one hour? Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Again, a second time, He went away and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if this cup cannot pass away from Me unless[e] I drink it, Your will be done.” And He came and found them asleep again, for their eyes were heavy. So He left them, went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words. Then He came to His disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise, let us be going. See, My betrayer is at hand.”
-------Pittsburgh Lyrics
Lyrics to Pittsburgh
I've been searching for an exit
But I'm lost inside my head
Where I spend every waking moment
Wishing I was dead
For a few minutes get me away from here
For a few minutes wiper away my tears
(For I am lost right now as the ocean deep)
I am low my friend and how my heart does sink
(Yeah I am lost right now as the ocean deep)
I am low my friend and how my heart does sink
It's like there's cancer in my blood
It's like there's water in my lungs
And I can't take another step
Please tell me I am not undone
It's like there's fire in my skin
And I'm drowning from within
I can't take another breath
Please tell me I am not undone
I've been searching for an exit
But I'm lost inside my head
Where I spend every waking moment
Wishing this would end
I can't take another step
I cannot live inside my mind
I can't face another day
I am so fucking tired
For I am lost right now as the ocean deep
I am low my friend and how my heart does sink
(Yeah I am lost right now as the ocean deep)
I am low my friend and how my heart does sink
It's like there's cancer in my blood
It's like there's water in my lungs
And I can't take another step
Please tell me I am not undone
It's like there's fire in my skin
And I'm drowning from within
I can't take another breath
Please tell me I am not undone
I've been searching for an exit
But I'm lost inside my head
Where I spend every waking moment
Wishing I was dead
I'll take another step for you
I'll shed my tears until I drown
or until I am underground
I'll take another breath for you
Will you still be there when I'm home
out from the great unknown?
It's like there's cancer in my blood
It's like there's water in my lungs
And I can't take another step
Please tell me I am not undone
It's like there's fire in my skin
And I'm drowning from within
I can't take another breath
Please tell me I am not undone
It's like there's cancer in my blood
It's like there's water in my lungs
And I can't take another step
Please tell me I am not undone
It's like there's fire in my skin
And I'm drowning from within
I can't take another breath
Please tell me I am not undone
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