The Pretty, Rich, Curly Dirty-Blonde White Girl Ruler (Who Hates Me)

--------------/The Pretty, Rich, Curly Dirty-Blonde White Girl Ruler (Who Hates Me) 

Anne, you and your curly dirty-blonde hair: a young man full of wealth and wisdom

approaching me unannounced in the dead of night.

My heart, like a marginalized Savior of the world philosophizing

to the twelve systems of his body like twelve disciples expectant

of an improbable miracle, this small band of men with lofty ambitions

to regard singleness as sin, and die for its abolition: marriage to you.  

We met eyes, you smiled

just when the forlorn moon contemplates war with the sun rising,

weary of another cycle of angst of my singleness, tensions between us

like a curious captive crowd encircling.   

Our friendly gaze at the café was at first like gossamer then like dialectic

we spoke on trivialities (soccer, etc) but our subconscious dissected repressed meaning

like peeling layers back to ancient Jerusalem -  

dusty exteriors of the passion that lies within our souls on dirt paths.

“’ Good Teacher what good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life’ in your heart?”

you asked

“Why do you call Me good?”

you spurned my advances for lunch thrice. You have largely ignored me since 2009.

“”’if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments’ of romance”

I replied.

Respect men, return e-mail correspondence, be agreeable to others,

don’t cheat on a boyfriend…. honor people who honor you

“All these things I have kept from my youth. What do I still lack?”

I returned your email, I speak when I seldom see you, Im no cheater you retorted.

“If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have” I firmly and finally submitted

Requite my love, accept my lunch invitations, check in on me periodically,

give all reservations you have about me away,

alms to the poor,…then come and kiss me (forever):

our love like amulets, hugs as jewel encrusted crowns – treasures in heaven.

But you hung your head and walked off didn’t you?

Your continued rejection after all these years, like cutting betrayal,

this feeling is the worst;

a refutation of all that I am.

--------Matthew 19:16-22

Now behold, one came and said to Him, “Good Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life?” So He said to him, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God. But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments.” He said to Him, “Which ones?” Jesus said, “‘You shall not murder,’ ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ ‘You shall not steal,’ ‘You shall not bear false witness,’ ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ ”The young man said to Him, “All these things I have kept from my youth. What do I still lack?” Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions