REALtalk (Session 1)

Yo whats up party people?

(Whats up Joe the Plumber...MY MAN...you should holla at me so we can do some poems together! Use your 250K to put me in Time Magazine or summin!!! YES WE CAN. Then I can hook up with Megan Fox and we can make beautiful babies together!!!.....oops...TMI Joe, TMI. My bad)


Just a few thoughts swirling around my brain this Sunday afternoon preceding the Redskins/Browns football game, during which time Jason Campbell should throw for approximately 400 yards passing en route to victory! HAIL TO THE REDSKINS HAIL TO THE REDSKINS HAIL TO THE REDSKINS

ahem


On Life:

Like David said: I have been young and I have been old.

After 27 years in this world I am really beginning to whole heartedly believe what they taught me at Towson: That your existence precedes your essence. I dont mean to exaggerate this and claim we are not imbued with the image of our Creator or with a sense of morality.

No,

What I mean to say is that as a person on this earth, especially in these chaotic times one has to make a conscious effort to continually define himself. I like what Joel Osteen preaches when he exorts us to think positive thoughts. If you harbor negativity or pessimism in your heart then the Bible says "a man reaps what he sows" and that "as a man thinks in his heart, so is he."

Do you know how many times I have fallen prey to peoples expectations or appraisals of me? Even my pastors? And how often it made me upset?

Tony is hopeless
Tony is a bit*h
Tony is crazy
Tony is a bad influence
Tony has fallen away from the faith
Tony needs help he is unstable
Tony is conceited
Tony looks like an alien
etc
etc
etc

In my life - Ive had people try to turn me gay, people insinuate (verbally) that I must be gay because I havent had a girlfriend for the past 9 years, people tell me to stop writing poetry, people tell me I am not their type - that I dont measure up to their standards. Ive had girls roll their eyes at me for no reason other than disdain. Ive had girlfriends cheat on me in school when I doted on them liberally. Ive had guys roll their eyes at me for no discernable reason, dating back to middle school (one time a guy just punched me in the chest as he walked past me on his way to class - FOR NO REASON)

I used to take these issues to heart and believe that I was entirely culpable. I thought everyone else was right and I was wrong and that I really was a bad person. That I was lame, soft, a punk and that everyone else in the world could beat me up and wanted to do so. I had low self-esteem for a long time, and thought happiness was on the otherside of the moon.

But then I looked to the scriptures and saw how Jesus never waivered in his convictions and self-awareness. In John 8:49 Jesus tells the Jews "I do not have a demon" after they had launched a hailstorm of attacks on his character and continually accused him of being demon possessed. Jesus knew he did not have a demon and no one could tell him otherwise. He knew he would do big things in life too: He told his disciples "You will see the son of man coming on the clouds in power and glory" Matthew 24:30

Similarly I have had to remind myself that I am a child of God created in His image and that God has chosen me before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4) for good works. So listen, it is my job to combat to every negative thought (2 Corinthians 10:5) and keep my head held high.

I refuse to let anyone tell me anything that doesnt honor my personhood in the Lord.

So what I want to say (and every morning henceforth) is:

I AM a good poet and I will have a great measure of success with this blog. I will be famous because of it

I AM NOT gay because I am not dating a girl right now.

I HAVE NOT fallen away from my faith in Jesus just because I have a different relationship with Him than others do.

I AM NOT hopeless, unstable, or crazy or a bit*h

I AM the best in this generation at what I do, and no one can do what I do better than me

I AM going to be wildly successful in this life and I do have many friends who love me just the way I am. Heck, I will be a celebrity one day, just wait and see!

You cant stop me, even if you tried

I DO HAVE SWAGGER - in Jesus Christ the Lord


ME AND JESUS - DO YOU HAVE SWAGGA LIKE US???

This is my essence. What is yours?

Dont let someone tell you that youre worthless, because in the end it its your choice in the Lord baby!


HAIL TO THE REDSKINS HAIL TO THE REDSKINS