* Dedicated to Amanda Seyfried
* Dedicated to Fetty Wap, Come My Way (Remix)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cvu0Q4Cl7pU
#AmandaFreeTony
OH AMANDA, BABY WONT YOU COME MY WAAAAAAY??? FREE ME FROM THIS PROLONGED LONELINESS!!! OH BABY IVE BEEN UNDER CANAANITE RULE FOR TOO LONG!!!! BTW TED 2 COMES OUT IN THEATERS THIS WEEKEND YALL!!! WOOOO!
+-------/To Sit Under Your Palm Tree; Deborah and Barak/Amanda Seyfried and Tony Conti
Amanda, my emotions are Hebrew
people distressed,
crying out for deliverance from
cruel (unceasingly strident)
despotic debasements
of singleness meted out by agonizing
fears of being alone forever, Jabin
King of Hazor. I strive
to wrest from the control of my mind
these monstrous, warmongering
ideas that I am unlovable to girls,
undateable as from some
diabolical thick helmeted man wielding
a haunted and rusty iron spear,
dried blood on the tip, (screams
of his victims in the wind of its thrusts)
Sisera captain of the King’s Army,
commander of nine hundred iron
chariots of a shy man’s despair.
All my collective soul - Israelites drawn away
from past afflictions by other girls in Egypt
in search for repose-
has known is oppression; Actually that was
before I saw Ted 2, before I knew the
soul soothing comforts of
your blonde hair and dazzling blue eyes, rare
gems of my earth, replete with a sexy smile,
as judge and guide of our fortunes,
presiding over hopeful tomorrows. Baby,
listen, I cannot fell my callous foes alone, trust me.
I need support under the Palm
Tree of your sweet presence,
solace in the wisdom seat of us dating,
your kisses rendering decisions of joy,
the soft prudent proclamations in my ear
of your love toppling my longsuffering. Preside,
please, over my heart and lead me,
lead me into this dubious battle for romance,
to reclaim the sovereignty of my self-confidence,
plumes of dust underneath ten thousand
horse hooves of vindication from
Zebulun and Naphtali, by my side.
For without you right next to me, I will stay defeated-
I dare not lift a finger though presentiments
of this horrid fate linger on in my dreams,
I toss and turn at night howling “Will I ever
find my wife??!!!”.
I know, in the end, however I sacrifice
my own glory and won’t win any man points for
appealing to my penury, begging you to date me
though poem as opposed to acquiring an A-List
acting role in some prodigious summer movie
on my own,
apportioning any reward in the Skirmish
to my cowardice, Jael, wife of Heber.
Rather than stand on my own merits courageously,
I would rather she succor him with milk of my shame,
rather a housewife of social faux paus drive
a tent peg of my embarrassment through his head,
Sisera captain of the King’s persecution, bleeding
in the tent of my ignominy,
as long as I get to ride back to Israel
with my hand clasped by yours,
reveling in the liberation of loving you,
our noses touching, our eyes sharing gazes.
-------------Judges 4
And the children of Israel again did that which was evil in the sight of Jehovah, when Ehud was dead. And Jehovah sold them into the hand of Jabin king of Canaan, that reigned in Hazor; the captain of whose host was Sisera, who dwelt in Harosheth of the Gentiles. And the children of Israel cried unto Jehovah: for he had nine hundred chariots of iron; and twenty years he mightily oppressed the children of Israel. Now Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lappidoth, she judged Israel at that time. And she dwelt under the palm-tree of Deborah between Ramah and Beth-el in the hill-country of Ephraim: and the children of Israel came up to her for judgment. And she sent and called Barak the son of Abinoam out of Kedesh-naphtali, and said unto him, Hath not Jehovah, the God of Israel, commanded, saying, Go and draw unto mount Tabor, and take with thee ten thousand men of the children of Naphtali and of the children of Zebulun? And I will draw unto thee, to the river Kishon, Sisera, the captain of Jabin's army, with his chariots and his multitude; and I will deliver him into thy hand. And Barak said unto her, If thou wilt go with me, then I will go; but if thou wilt not go with me, I will not go. And she said, I will surely go with thee: notwithstanding, the journey that thou takest shall not be for thine honor; for Jehovah will sell Sisera into the hand of a woman. And Deborah arose, and went with Barak to Kedesh. And Barak called Zebulun and Naphtali together to Kedesh; and there went up ten thousand men at his feet: and Deborah went up with him. Now Heber the Kenite had separated himself from the Kenites, even from the children of Hobab the brother-in-law of Moses, and had pitched his tent as far as the oak in Zaanannim, which is by Kedesh. And they told Sisera that Barak the son of Abinoam was gone up to mount Tabor. And Sisera gathered together all his chariots, even nine hundred chariots of iron, and all the people that were with him, from Harosheth of the Gentiles, unto the river Kishon. And Deborah said unto Barak, Up; for this is the day in which Jehovah hath delivered Sisera into thy hand; is not Jehovah gone out before thee? So Barak went down from mount Tabor, and ten thousand men after him. And Jehovah discomfited Sisera, and all his chariots, and all his host, with the edge of the sword before Barak; and Sisera alighted from his chariot, and fled away on his feet. But Barak pursued after the chariots, and after the host, unto Harosheth of the Gentiles: and all the host of Sisera fell by the edge of the sword; there was not a man left. Howbeit Sisera fled away on his feet to the tent of Jael the wife of Heber the Kenite; for there was peace between Jabin the king of Hazor and the house of Heber the Kenite. And Jael went out to meet Sisera, and said unto him, Turn in, my lord, turn in to me; fear not. And he turned in unto her into the tent, and she covered him with a rug. And he said unto her, Give me, I pray thee, a little water to drink; for I am thirsty. And she opened a bottle of milk, and gave him drink, and covered him. And he said unto her, Stand in the door of the tent, and it shall be, when any man doth come and inquire of thee, and say, Is there any man here? that thou shalt say, No. Then Jael Heber's wife took a tent-pin, and took a hammer in her hand, and went softly unto him, and smote the pin into his temples, and it pierced through into the ground; for he was in a deep sleep; so he swooned and died. And, behold, as Barak pursued Sisera, Jael came out to meet him, and said unto him, Come, and I will show thee the man whom thou seekest. And he came unto her; and, behold, Sisera lay dead, and the tent-pin was in his temples. So God subdued on that day Jabin the king of Canaan before the children of Israel. And the hand of the children of Israel prevailed more and more against Jabin the king of Canaan, until they had destroyed Jabin king of Canaan
----My Way (Remix) Lyrics
[Hook: Fetty Wap]
Baby, won't you come my way?
Got something I want to say
Cannot keep you out my brain
But first off I'ma start by saying this, ayy
All headshots if you think you could take my b*, ayy
And I'm too turnt, when I shoot, swear I won't miss, ayy
Ba-Baby, won't you come my way?
Baby, won't you come my way?
[Verse 1: Fetty Wap]
Ba-Ba-Baby
This is something you should know, I don't ever chase no h*
I spotted you, you had that glow, watch me pull out all this dough
Take you where you want to go, flexing on your ex, I know
He ain't ever take you out, barely even left your house
How dare that n* run his mouth when his pockets in a drought
The last single he put out didn't even make it out
And he dumb as hell and I swear his ass don't think, ayy
If he disrespect, two shots and I won't blink, ayy
Never really cared what the f* these n* think, ayy
I got deep pockets and I swear my s* on sink, ayy
And he mad as f*, big ZooWap all she sing, ayy
And he mad as f*, big ZooWap in her dreams, ayy
Well he mad as f*, when they sex, she scream for me, ayy
Big ZooWap what these n* should be, ayy
[Hook: Fetty Wap]
Baby, won't you come my way?
Got something I want to say
Cannot keep you out my brain
But first off I'ma start by saying this, ayy
All headshots if you think you could take my bitch, ayy
And I'm too turnt, when I shoot, swear I won't miss, ayy
Ba-Baby, won't you come my way?
Baby, won't you come my way?
[Verse 2: Drake]
All I gotta do is put my mind to this s*, g*!
Cancel out my ex, I put a line through that b*
I like all my S's with two lines through them s*
Everybody tryna fuck you but I'm fine with that shit
I never mind, girl that's just you
I know you work hard for your shit
You know they gon' hate
Just don't play no part in that s*
They should call me James
Cause I'm goin' hard in this b*
We're just so much smarter than them
Maybe I just needed you around me
Drank a lot tonight, I know
She can drive your car and you can roll
Take you where you wanna go
First off, I'ma start by sayin' this
G*d*, g*d*
[Hook: Fetty Wap]
Baby, won't you come my way?
Got something I want to say
Cannot keep you out my brain
But first off I'ma start by saying this, ayy
All headshots if you think you could take my b*, ayy
And I'm too turnt, when I shoot, swear I won't miss, ayy
Ba-Baby, won't you come my way?
Baby, won't you come my way?
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