Waters of Never

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*dedicated to RB. (And I aint talking bout no running back!!!)
* dedicated to Amity Affliction, Chasing Ghosts
http://youtu.be/g2BI3Fww1vA



-----------/Waters of Never

When I saw your latest photo on Instagram it
was like a spirit passed by me in the fourth
watch of the night.  Chilling hollow winds blowing
right through me, your beauty like a surreal afflicting
apparition of love with hazel eyes, highly desired
but improbably gained.  You see…
15 years of loneliness is my sea, my hope for a girlfriend
like a misshapen moldy small boat with corroded wood
leaking –
(and rocking spasmodically with my crying)
barely keeping my heart afloat. I know what its like
to go from shore to shore seeking Salvation
shunned by Pharisees: tenebrous women, mouths and teeth
of termites, speech like the splitting of a mast.   
And, I want so badly to reach out to you
relics of your flesh and bone;
kiss you even at the risk of drowning, caress your face and hair
at the threat of my feet sinking to the bed of the sea....
 swallowed by leviathan, if you would just call my name
I would gladly jump out this boat and walk on water
in the name of chance.
I wish you were here sitting across from me…
the full moon would cast our shadows over sleeping fish
as sentimental salubrious sappy silhouettes-
two destined for marriage, our smiles bright
as the stars.
You would lead me to shore, curing the blind and healing
the sick. Multiplying fish and loaves of the impossible,
making all love’s wrongs right by raising
the dead. 
But youre not really here are you? Im only speaking
phantom psychology to my unfulfilled longings right?
You, the ghost of a 19 year old girl
I can never have.


-------------Matthew 14:25-30; Luke 24:39
And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear. But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.; Look at my hands and my feet. It is I myself! Touch me and see; a ghost does not have flesh and bones, as you see I have.

-------------Chasing Ghosts Lyrics
Will they remember my name when I'm gone,
(When they know what I did was so f* wrong)
Put the steel to my wrist, lost the breath in my chest,
(Just to forget all the wrongs I had left)
I took the exit, left my friends in the gutter,
(Left my life right behind me, left myself, left it all)
Left myself, left it all, not a falter not a stutter
Not a note, and now?,
(There’s nothing at all)
(Are you at all haunted by memories past?
Are you ready to make this one breath your last?
Is your chest so heavy you're ready to leave,
Or are you hoping that some one will grieve?)
And now we roll on...
I'm gone now,I don't remember much,
I just know that I would have been better off if I had stayed,
spoken to a friend,
(let my heart keep on beating and not given it all up)
for the grave, for the grave
There's no one on the other side there's nothing more than what I had.
There's no ghost left to haunt you so you know I'm still here,
just the end of my life nothing left here at all.
(There's no memories here, just regrets of the dead),
please don't follow my footsteps - cherish all you have left.
(Are you at all haunted by memories past?
Are you ready to make this one breath your last?
Is your chest so heavy you’re ready to leave?
Or are you just hoping that someone will grieve?)
There's no one there on the other side,
(there's no one there on the other side)
There's nothing more than what I had.
(There's no ghost left to haunt you)
There's no memories here (memories here)
just the regrets of the dead (regrets of the dead)
please don't follow in my footsteps (my footsteps)
cherish all you have left.
(Are you at all haunted by memories past?
Are you ready to make this one breath your last?
Is your chest so heavy you’re ready to leave?
Or are you just hoping that someone will grieve?)
(Are you at all haunted by memories past?
Are you ready to make this one breath your last?
Is your chest so heavy you’re ready to leave?
Or are you just hoping that someone will grieve?)