Gabrielle Union, Life Without You is Boils and Scabs (Save Me)

 

-----------------/Boils and Scabs

Gabby, it hurts me like protruding lesions on skin

to see you exalted, love’s Savior far away, oozing puss on my arms.

Its like youre on this mountain ameliorating all the world’s ills

(great movies, great modeling, great parenting)

but not mine, my loneliness throbs

this forlornness festers. Crowds follow beholden to your beauty-

some men even swear you walk on very waters

of their every fantasy, multiplying loaves of hope when joy is famished.

I swear sometimes romance is like Jerusalem, and I some outcast,

a mendicant impatiently awaiting his turn crying out.

Adulations for your sexy brown skin

adoration for your lips fitted with divine symmetry pleading

for a kiss, driven by much desperation to hold your hands,

if you would only have mercy. Sweet fleeting anesthesia,

Trinitarian prophecy lulling me to sleep

in my agony, sexiness, smarts, and swagger,

one amazing woman manifested three ways distinctly.

Footsteps crescendo as my anticipation builds,

fanfare and passion of crowds, evidence of your miraculous charm

approaching, and the repugnance of my dating life laid bare,

this debilitating chronic disease. Scabs, dried blood, crazed drool.

I kneel down at the base of the mountain of your celebrity,

elbows on my knees,

knees before your feet, grasping at your ankles fingers trembling.

Like a leprous Ishmaelite I beseech you:

if you are willing, you can marry me and make me clean

(GABBY, I KNOW D-WADE HAS A BIG GAME TONIGHT – BUT PLEASE….MARRY ME BABES!!!!! - by the way....NO DISRESPECT TO YOU, W.O.W…..YOU AND BRON ARE MY MANZ AND DEM THO!!!!!)

------------------/Matthew 8:1-4

When Jesus came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy. Then Jesus said to him, “See that you don’t tell anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the gift Moses commanded, as a testimony to them.”

My Eighteen Year Old Hot Brunette Pharisee Crush (cANT COME WITH me)

                                 

 *dedicated to Brand New, Soco Amaretto Lime

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oKKYQgR43Q (CLICK DAT LINK YALL)

* dedicated to the Eighteen year old princess I wish…I wish….I wish I could call my own. AND LIKE I SAID B4, I AINT TALKIN BOUT NO RUNNING BACK!!!!

* Dag on you 1981!!! Why couldn’t I have been born in 1991 or 1994?

------------------/My Eighteen Year Old Hot Brunette Pharisee Crush

R****,  its not as though we are wearing different types of sandals

love’s dirt road, ornery rocks of age discrepancy

my feet more worn..and battered than yours. 

But our paradigms differ. I have seen whole worlds of romance borne out

stars aligning and colliding, girls as sexy as comets shooting

across the sky, yet strife between her and her boyfriend like a meteor crashing

obliterating all life, from seas of hope fish once teeming, floating lifeless

in currents blood red.  A cosmos wasted, a galaxy marked by hearts’ futility.

I once spoke “let there be light” – and these silly girls gave me darkness

in return (Ann, Whitney, Stephanie, Jennifer, Kina, Barbara, Leah).

I know the pain of a broken heart, a planet destroyed. You don’t,

only an eighteen year old brunette Pharisee restricted by the myopia

of her experience, Mosaic law. The mechanics of attraction written on stone tablets

how to smile

how to make men nervous

how to make a thirty two year old man wish he was eighteen too…

 albeit ignorant of its application, squinting to see past Orion.

What am I trying to say?

I can testify of myself, that I want to love you, and I don’t care about astrology

or birth years or shooting stars. I want you to believe

that we can make this work, cosmic co-creators of a new destiny.

But my words, theyre just fantasies to you,  disjointed incoherence

of someone who has walked just a bit too far ahead-

Savior with a scraggly beard, weak sophistry and fully explainable miracles.

Someone who needs at least one more witness, a common bond

like a birth year, knowing a child of the nineties is an eclipse

to one born in the eighties, we don’t share the same sun.

Before Abraham, desperation bordering on risk, existed – I am.

You don’t yet know anxiety, fears of being alone.

Jerusalem is just Jerusalem to you, contented under Roman rule,

willing to wait forever for salvation.

But my Jerusalem is above, all convention, and societal norms –

faith that cant wait, crucifixion looming (kiss me now no matter what).

Sadly

we are two people walking divergent paths, not of the same world.

You cant go where Im going I guess.

 (BUT I CAN PRETEND IM EIGHTEEN LIKE YOU, BABES!!!!)

------------------------John 8:12-25

Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, “I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life.” So the Pharisees said to Him, “You are testifying about Yourself; Your testimony is not true.” Jesus answered and said to them, “Even if I testify about Myself, My testimony is true, for I know where I came from and where I am going; but you do not know where I come from or where I am going.“ You judge according to the flesh; I am not judging anyone. “But even if I do judge, My judgment is true; for I am not alone in it, but I and the Father who sent Me. “Even in your law it has been written that the testimony of two men is true.“ I am He who testifies about Myself, and the Father who sent Me testifies about Me.” So they were saying to Him, “Where is Your Father?” Jesus answered, “You know neither Me nor My Father; if you knew Me, you would know My Father also.” These words He spoke in the treasury, as He taught in the temple; and no one seized Him, because His hour had not yet come. Then He said again to them, “I go away, and you will seek Me, and will die in your sin; where I am going, you cannot come.” So the Jews were saying, “Surely He will not kill Himself, will He, since He says, ‘Where I am going, you cannot come’?” And He was saying to them, “You are from below, I am from above; you are of this world, I am not of this world.“ Therefore I said to you that you will die in your sins; for unless you believe that I am He, you will die in your sins.” So they were saying to Him, “Who are You?” Jesus said to them, “What have I been saying to you from the beginning?

-----Soco Amaretto Lime lyrics

Passed out on the overpass

 Sunday best and broken glass

 Broken down from the bikes and bars

 Suspended like spirits over speeding cars

 You and me were kings over the parkway tonight

 And tonight will go on forever while we

 walk around this town like we own the streets

 and stay awake through summer like we own the heat

 Singing "everybody wake up (wake up) it's time to get down"

 (everybody, everybody wake up its time to get down)

 And when I pass the bottle back to Pete

 on the overpass tonight, I bet we laugh

 I'm gonna stay eighteen forever (cut me open)

 So we can stay like this forever (sun poisoned)

 And we'll never miss a party (this offer...)

 cause we keep them going constantly (...stands forever)

 And we'll never have to listen (new haircut)

 to anyone about anything (new bracelet)

 cause it's all been done and it's all been said (eyeliner)

 we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get

 The hell out of this town

 Find some conversation

 The low fuel lights been on for days

 It doesn't mean anything

 I've got another 500, 'nother 500 miles

 before we shut this engine down,

 we shut it down

 I'm gonna stay eighteen forever (cut me open)

 So we can stay like this forever (sun poisoned)

 And we'll never miss a party (this offer...)

 cause we keep them going constantly (...stands forever)

 And we'll never have to listen (new haircut)

 to anyone about anything (new bracelet)

 cause it's all been done and it's all been said (eyeliner)

 we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get (wait forever)

 (you're just jealous cause I'm young and in love)

 Eighteen forever (first kisses)

 (your stomach's filled up but you're starved for conversation)

 So we can stay like this forever (new stitches)

 (you're spending all your nights growing old in your bed)

 And we'll never miss a party (collar weekend)

 (and your tearin up your photos cause you wanna forget... it's over)

 cause we keep them going constantly (appearance ticket)

 (you're just jealous cause I'm young and in love)

 And we'll never have to listen (November to...)

 (your stomach's filled up but you're starved for conversation)

 to anyone about anything cause it's all been done (...remember)

 (you're spending all your nights growing old in your bed)

 and it's all been said (nightswimmers)

 (and your tearin up your photos cause you wanna forget... it's over)

 we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get

 Just jealous cause we're young and in love

 You're just jealous cause we're young and in love

 You're just jealous cause we're young and in love

 You're just jealous cause we're young and in love

 You're just jealous cause we're young and in love

 You're just jealous... [turntable scratch]

MY Pauline Seance. Saint Paul and thejesusmetaphor - KINGS FOR A DAY

Man Apostle Paul, Im a loser man :(  Im 32, Im still single after 14 years, I cant snag a babe at all! Im childless….Im bad with my money, I cant even afford my own place. LOOK AT ME….A….TOTAL……LOSER….

Well….maybe Im not a loser spiritually…:)

(Im soooooooo emo)

June 8^th, 2013 at 5:07pm, I hereby INVOKE YOU, SAINT PAUL!!!! WHERE YOU AT BIG BABY??? Come on down from HEAVEN and help me RUN DA RACE…HELP ME FIGHT DA GOOD FIGHT like you already done did, MY NINJA!!!!  2 Timothy 4:7 MY DUDE!!! AYO PAUL!!!  YOU ALREADY REACHED SAINT STATUS, FOOL! HELP ME DO THE SAME DAAWWWWWGGG!!!!  HELP ME TO PRETEND IM KING FOR A DAY (AND THAT I FOUND MY QUEEN), SAINT FOR A DAY!!!!!! me and you – two kings..one on earth one in heaven.

I invite you to take hold of me while I write this poem to you son!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

* dedicated to Pierce the Veil, King for a Day

www.youtube.com/watch?v=icXUkIfZxyg  -CLICK DAT LINK YALL!!!

* Saint Paul pray for me

* Waddup Jesus?!

--------------/Untitled

Sometimes I feel like the streets of Rockville evoke Jerusalem

my red Converse like leather sandals with one thong worn out

from wandering. Mucky feet carrying misguided animus,

the slow plodding footsteps of the damned, yet unaware of it.

I cringe at my former sinister pastime brooding-

how many Christians must I kill to keep my sanity?, soldiers

of a dulled conscience

my vices armed to the teeth, the merciless massacre

of virtues likes plebs shrilling as they stumble over their own children

impaled before becoming incapacitated by seizures of chilling

caustic disconsolate terror.

I remember my sardonic laughter after beheading them all…

purity burned alive

abstinence castrated tied starved and fed to the birds

platonic love of women pulled apart by chariots driven oppositely

alms giving raped continuously by legions of disaffected Roman guards

(splurging my paychecks on clothes and other frivolities)

my

long sword of lust, pride, anger, avarice, skipped church services, bloodied.

Educated here in Jerusalem under Gamaliel (Hollywood),

scholastic underpinnings of pornography, rap music, deathcore rock,

my philosophical schools were of gender politics and the politically correct,

ideals never upheld, public appeasement before standards.   

But for all my zeal, my life was an equine deception,

my desires a psychotic horse fed his own dung, restless,

galloping hooves to flee my emptiness within, seeking slaughter to muffle

a higher calling to an emancipated life – free from guilt

and proclivities for self-condemnation.

And then one day completely unannounced

 I remember regret like a stunningly blinding light,

sorrow at this pitiable state, a thunderous Voice from the clouds

appealing to my higher, more noble self, robbing me of

all the goals I had in sight planned for the future-

a Damascus of promiscuous sex with voluptuous blond women

and exotic drugs (of acceptance) from men in dreadlocks.

But I fell on my back, tossed from my horse humiliated.

Groaning before my former roommates with blood of the

innocently condemned on my hands, three days of misery with no food or water.

 Later on,

I would call hope for an honorable future, repentance,

and the forgiveness of all who formerly knew me a new name:

Ananias; a man of second chances

 leading me by the hand into a new destiny of respect.

When I sleep I hear screams of all the opportunities I killed,

ghosts in the shell….

the only obeisance I can render to them in atonement is

the casting of my former weapons away.  

Bows, arrows, swords, torches. Porn, lust, envy, covetousness

pitched in Golgotha, forever buried in stench.

The Gospel to all my former conspirators, accomplices and witnesses beset by sin:

turn your gaze heavenwards, repairing the damage to your neighbor,

rejoicing in holiness and freedom. Then

everything you thought you knew will fall away like scales from your eyes.

So that finally, when your soul whispers to your body

on the day fear and anxiety put you in the stocks

like jealous Pharisees and Sadducees persecuting you for this happiness

“its time for me to go” you can proclaim boldly with me:

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

I have erased everything I used to be.

---------------Acts 9:19b-25

Now for several days he was with the disciples who were at Damascus, and immediately he began to proclaim Jesus in the synagogues, saying, “He is the Son of God.” All those hearing him continued to be amazed, and were saying, “Is this not he who in Jerusalem destroyed those who called on this name, and who had come here for the purpose of bringing them bound before the chief priests?” But Saul kept increasing in strength and confounding the Jews who lived at Damascus by proving that this Jesus is the Christ. When many days had elapsed, the Jews plotted together to do away with him, but their plot became known to Saul. They were also watching the gates day and night so that they might put him to death; but his disciples took him by night and let him down through an opening in the wall, lowering him in a large basket.

------King for a Day Lyrics

[Vic & Kellin Quinn]

 Dare me to jump off of this Jersey bridge

 I bet you never had a Friday night like this

 Keep it up, keep it up, let's raise our hands

 I take a look up at the sky and I see red

 Red for the cancer, red for the wealthy

 Red for the drink that's mixed with suicide

 Everything red

[Kellin Quinn]

 Please, won't you push me for the last time

 Let's scream until there's nothing left

 So sick of playing, I don't want this anymore

 The thought of you's no f*ing fun

 You want a martyr, I'll be one

 Because enough's enough, we're done

[Vic]

 You told me think about it, well I did

 Now I don't wanna feel a thing anymore

 I'm tired of begging for the things that I want

 I'm over sleeping like a dog on the floor

[Vic]

 The thing I think I love

 Will surely bring me pain

 Intoxication, paranoia, and a lot of fame

 Three cheers for throwing up

 Pubescent drama queen

 You make me sick, I make it worse by drinking late

[Kellin Quinn]

 Let's scream, there's nothing left

 So sick of playing, I don't want to anymore

 The thought of you's no f*ing fun

 You want a martyr I'll be one

 Because enough's enough, we're done

[Vic]

 You told me think about it, well I did

 Now I don't wanna feel a thing anymore

 I'm tired of begging for the things that I want

 I'm over sleeping like a dog on the floor

[Kellin Quinn]

 Imagine living like a king someday

 A single night without a ghost in the walls

 And if the bass shakes the earth underground

 We'll start a new revolution now

 (Now! Alright here we go)

[Vic]

 Hail Mary, forgive me

 Blood for blood, hearts beating

 Come at me, now this is war!

 Fuck with this new beat

 Oh!

[Kellin Quinn & Vic]

 Now terror begins inside a bloodless vein

 I was just a product of the street youth rage

 Born in this world without a voice or say

 Caught in the spokes of an abandoned brain

 I knew you well but this ain't a game

 Blow the smoke in diamond shape

 Dying is a gift so close your eyes and rest in peace

[Vic]

 You told me think about it, well I did

 Now I don't wanna feel a thing anymore

 I'm tired of begging for the things that I want

 I'm over sleeping like a dog on the floor

[Kellin Quinn]

 Imagine living like a king someday

 A single night without a ghost in the walls

 We are the shadows screaming take us now

[Vic]

 We'd rather die than live to rest on the ground

 S*

Dont fall for an 18 year old girl like me yall

 And when they had bound him, they led him away, and delivered him to Pontius Pilate the governor. – Matthew 27:2 (KJV)

*dedicated to RB3…and like I said b4…I AINT TALKING BOUT NO RUNNING BACK!

* St Joseph pray for me… its hard loving an 18yr old girl when youre a 32yr old OLD MAN!!!!

----------------/Me Pontius Pilate, Love’s True Coward  

R****, my desire for you, like a gangly savior just beaten

controversial to the people but bursting with miraculous love,

smitten;

(I was blind to passion but because of you now I see

I was deaf to romantic sacrifice now I wish to give you my all

everything’s ethereal, as though I could get out the boat of limitations now

and actually smile….feet walking on water as dry land)

the purity and purpose of his intentions often misunderstood.

Yet haste holds court before me

amidst rising tensions on Facebook now I must arbitrate,

fate of us before me, head down awaiting judgment

almost pitiable in this sort of emphatic silence.

Choosing whether I pursue you, and set you free

or to disavow my true feelings to crucifixion of all possibility. Deep inside me

I know you can heal my lovelorn heart as a chosen people expectant

of liberation, eventually riding on the clouds in end times triumph;

I could see that in your eyes when we met, it was like prophecy.  

Admiration so surreal it stirred in the people around us

notions of sedition, a coup d’état of both our souls.

And though I often regard my conscience tenderly,

sweet kisses of a wife, I ignored the chides and censure

of a man, 32, falling for a girl, only 18.

You see, I have this guilt that has become this cacophonous mob screaming

that you haven’t lived life yet, that you are too young for decision.

They keep imploring murder (abrogate the girl) hissing at alternatives

even if it means I never marry, singleness, that snaggletooth fiend Barabbas.  

I want you bad,

but Im enveloped by too much timidity.

I wash my hands before the public's opinion

they cheer about the blood of our potential,
gushing from a body mercilessly flogged, sentenced to die,

about me walking away…maybe ignoring you forever

-------------Matthew 27:11-26

And Jesus stood before the governor: and the governor asked him, saying, Art thou the King of the Jews? And Jesus said unto him, Thou sayest. And when he was accused of the chief priests and elders, he answered nothing. Then said Pilate unto him, Hearest thou not how many things they witness against thee? And he answered him to never a word; insomuch that the governor marvelled greatly. Now at that feast the governor was wont to release unto the people a prisoner, whom they would. And they had then a notable prisoner, called Barabbas. Therefore when they were gathered together, Pilate said unto them, Whom will ye that I release unto you? Barabbas, or Jesus which is called Christ? For he knew that for envy they had delivered him. When he was set down on the judgment seat, his wife sent unto him, saying, Have thou nothing to do with that just man: for I have suffered many things this day in a dream because of him. But the chief priests and elders persuaded the multitude that they should ask Barabbas, and destroy Jesus. The governor answered and said unto them, Whether of the twain will ye that I release unto you? They said, Barabbas. Pilate saith unto them, What shall I do then with Jesus which is called Christ? They all say unto him, Let him be crucified. And the governor said, Why, what evil hath he done? But they cried out the more, saying, Let him be crucified. When Pilate saw that he could prevail nothing, but that rather a tumult was made, he took water, and washed his hands before the multitude, saying, I am innocent of the blood of this just person: see ye to it. Then answered all the people, and said, His blood be on us, and on our children. Then released he Barabbas unto them: and when he had scourged Jesus, he delivered him to be crucified.

The Pretty, Rich, Curly Dirty-Blonde White Girl Ruler (Who Hates Me)

--------------/The Pretty, Rich, Curly Dirty-Blonde White Girl Ruler (Who Hates Me) 

Anne, you and your curly dirty-blonde hair: a young man full of wealth and wisdom

approaching me unannounced in the dead of night.

My heart, like a marginalized Savior of the world philosophizing

to the twelve systems of his body like twelve disciples expectant

of an improbable miracle, this small band of men with lofty ambitions

to regard singleness as sin, and die for its abolition: marriage to you.  

We met eyes, you smiled

just when the forlorn moon contemplates war with the sun rising,

weary of another cycle of angst of my singleness, tensions between us

like a curious captive crowd encircling.   

Our friendly gaze at the café was at first like gossamer then like dialectic

we spoke on trivialities (soccer, etc) but our subconscious dissected repressed meaning

like peeling layers back to ancient Jerusalem -  

dusty exteriors of the passion that lies within our souls on dirt paths.

“’ Good Teacher what good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life’ in your heart?”

you asked

“Why do you call Me good?”

you spurned my advances for lunch thrice. You have largely ignored me since 2009.

“”’if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments’ of romance”

I replied.

Respect men, return e-mail correspondence, be agreeable to others,

don’t cheat on a boyfriend…. honor people who honor you

“All these things I have kept from my youth. What do I still lack?”

I returned your email, I speak when I seldom see you, Im no cheater you retorted.

“If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have” I firmly and finally submitted

Requite my love, accept my lunch invitations, check in on me periodically,

give all reservations you have about me away,

alms to the poor,…then come and kiss me (forever):

our love like amulets, hugs as jewel encrusted crowns – treasures in heaven.

But you hung your head and walked off didn’t you?

Your continued rejection after all these years, like cutting betrayal,

this feeling is the worst;

a refutation of all that I am.

--------Matthew 19:16-22

Now behold, one came and said to Him, “Good Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life?” So He said to him, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God. But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments.” He said to Him, “Which ones?” Jesus said, “‘You shall not murder,’ ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ ‘You shall not steal,’ ‘You shall not bear false witness,’ ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ ”The young man said to Him, “All these things I have kept from my youth. What do I still lack?” Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions