The ChristLife Betrayal, The Potter's Field of My Heart

WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! HEY YALL!!! :) :( :/ I feel like Noah, drunk in the aftermath of his former world, all he ever knew, destroyed by flooding. You hear that guys? Doesn’t that sound like serenity? Like calm? Savor it, because after reading my next post it shall surely sprout wings, and fly away swiftly! Marching lockstep in the distance, a crescendo of the sandals of romantic calamity approaches, threatens. This is the end of it all….the day…the night….I bare my soul TO THE GIRL WHO HAS STOLEN MY HEART! SATAN!!! GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME!!!! I AM JUDAS TONIGHT….tonight I take my chance of normalcy, of civility into the potter’s field….

* dedicated to RB

* Satan to you I deliver my desire for the destruction of the status quo – RB must know how I feel, no matter the etiquette or decorum

----------------/The ChristLife Betrayal, The Potter's Field of My Heart

I have a bag of money in my hands like my heart

forty silver pieces, of dreams Ive stolen of us together kissing,

hugging unbeknownst to the other disciples of ChristLife surrounding me,

this passion like candles burning on the table of their last supper

singing songs serenading their own obliviousness, never suspecting that I’ve fallen for you

I sneak off into the night

of secret machinations.  I don’t know where Im going just,

haunting whispers, that a fourteen year age gap is more than plausible

sweat of anxiety profuse, my face glistening underneath the moon

pleading:

“Tony never turn back.” The temple of ultimatums: chief priests of attraction Pharisees

of emotions, palpitating, watching intently, intensely hopeful for betrayal.

They want blood of social decorum, crucifixion for the Savior

of all decency and seemliness, and precedence in romance.

RB* I will lead a band of men to what is expected of you

and me, swords and torches burn with smoke of impetuousness,

savage men full of insecurity, adrenaline, to forcefully seize

all that you thought you knew, and all that you will ever know of me.   

I betray your generation with a kiss –

bemused that a thirty two year old is no longer a “friend”

snatching away conventionality as a bearded man

that calls God his Father, left behind in Gethsemane trembling

for eros love not filial.

If only I could have been born on February 12, 1991

I wouldn’t have to hurl this pouch of regret, these silver pieces as a curse, scattered,

before my unyielding, yet callous fascination like scribes and Sadducees.

I want to marry an eighteen year old girl, my body shivering involuntarily

in the potter’s field

this poem is a rope hanging all my sense and sensibility,

an only escape for the most improbable of propositions;

my entrails spilling out on the wheat and tares beneath my feet dangling

bleeding prodigiously from the nose and mouth

my last words – I wish I was eighteen too

------------/Matthew 27:2-8

And when they had bound him, they led him away, and delivered him to Pontius Pilate the governor. Then Judas, which had betrayed him, when he saw that he was condemned, repented himself, and brought again the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, Saying, I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood. And they said, What is that to us? see thou to that. And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself. And the chief priests took the silver pieces, and said, It is not lawful for to put them into the treasury, because it is the price of blood. And they took counsel, and bought with them the potter's field, to bury strangers in. Wherefore that field was called, The field of blood, unto this day.

----------1 Corinthians 5:1-5

It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife. And ye are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you. For I verily, as absent in body, but present in spirit, have judged already, as though I were present, concerning him that hath so done this deed, In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when ye are gathered together, and my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.