Ohhhhh….ahhhhhhhhhhh, daaaaaaggggg mane! OH GUYS IM SOOOOO
DISTRAUGHT! I finally…FINALLY…found a girl who appreciates me for me (I hope,
at least :( and come to find out that we cant be together because we were born
under different moons! I’ll just use that idiom as euphemism for society driven
insurmountable relational differences; Basically society says we cant be
together! But guys, listen to me….HEY! LEEEEESEN*! (*Ocarina of Time, N64
reference there) YOU JUST DON’T GET IT, DO YOU? YOUR KARATE’S CRAP, YOUR
TEACHER’S CRAP, COME ON DANIEL-SAN, GET UP! YOUR KARATE AINT WORTH SHI- wooah!
Where was I? Got stuck in my Karate Kid 3 mode there!....but listen guys, you don’t
get it, because I actually VIBE with this girl. Shes the one I have been
waiting for…..so why cant I have her, huh? WHY CANT I HAVE HER??? Pretty girl, friendly, Godly, nice body –
HUBBA –HUBBA! …..WHYYYYYYY? ahem! …..read on then! Carry on!
[Lets just call this girl POTUS. ….Maybe I shouldn’t use
that….it may be TOO REVEALING…SHE CANT KNOW I WANT TO LOVE ON HER!!! YIKES!!!]
“Or as an hidden
untimely birth I had not been; as infants which never saw light”
-----------------/MY Book of Job, Of Suffering Doomed
Affinity
In my dreams I see you in shades of grey, your sexy body in
shades of gray
then a hellion’s scowl a nebulous creature with red eyes Satanic
yanking me from my bed hurling me on the floor of the
council
of love of romance of dreams of married merriment
“test him!” he posits before the judge, stately though
reservedly compassionate
“take away his love, kill the dream, his heart inflicted with
boils”
yelling before the sons of God…the judge, his visage turns
black and fades. With a nod
I awoke and it felt like a great wind assailed the earth as
my soul
like a father holding the lifeless bodies of his children
daughter impaled by wood paneling, son gorged by Sabean
spears
(of tragic disappointment)
like a wife scorning “curse God and die”
you are too young, the day I was born let that day be
darkness;
…let a cloud dwell upon it; let the blackness of the day
terrify it.
when I look at your smiling face, it feels like scraping
puss from my wounds
of regret. Each morning my heart offered up prayers of
sacrifice for you
before the sacrilege;
after discovering your age now I lick the dirt, infirmed
tongue.
What can futile friends feigning knowledge offer me in
consolation?
Eliphaz the pragmatic advises to look for older women,
Bildad the stolid
online dating, and Zophar the unfeeling, to wait and pray
and fast again
Elihu the sardonic and cynical admonishes like Moses, let
her go
free from my corrupting passion, a mind undeveloped pillars
of naiveté
so that she too can reach Canaan (the age of 25)
I curse 1981 on that February day
Why did the knees prevent me? or why the breasts that I
should suck
enabling and condoning this day. The sun rises and my heart beats
with excruciating irregularity, the moon illumines the
sleeping
whilst I scream myself awake
afraid to keep dreaming
afraid to keep dreaming
my pillow a rock with dried blood, the scabs on the nape of my
neck abraded
--------------Job 3:1-13
After this opened Job his mouth, and cursed his day. And Job
spake, and said, Let the day perish wherein I was born, and the night in which
it was said, There is a man child conceived. Let that day be darkness; let not
God regard it from above, neither let the light shine upon it. Let darkness and
the shadow of death stain it; let a cloud dwell upon it; let the blackness of
the day terrify it. As for that night, let darkness seize upon it; let it not
be joined unto the days of the year, let it not come into the number of the
months. Lo, let that night be solitary, let no joyful voice come therein. Let
them curse it that curse the day, who are ready to raise up their mourning. Let
the stars of the twilight thereof be dark; let it look for light, but have
none; neither let it see the dawning of the day: Because it shut not up the
doors of my mother's womb, nor hid sorrow from mine eyes. Why died I not from the womb? why did I not give up the ghost
when I came out of the belly? Why did the knees prevent me? or why the breasts
that I should suck? For now should I have lain still and been quiet, I should
have slept: then had I been at rest
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