ALL TAYLOR SWIFT PARTISANS UNITE!!!! Look guys, its really here! This moment is truly upon us! Fate, like the crest of an approaching wave inexorably chases us! This is the moment, we all galvanize our energy for Taylor and Tony (aka thejesusmetaphor) TO GO ON A DATE! I would have rallied you all sooner, but I wanted to defer to the honorable, Harry Styles, lest I risk being trampled by his legions of fantastic, yet fanatical followers! But now that Harry has decided to part ways with Taylor, its time for a fellow writer to step in and whisper sweet nothings into Taylor’s ear like none other!
Okay, for the sake of brevity let me quickly enumerate why
Taylor and I should date:
- We are both writers
- We both, in the past, have documented our past loves and our experiences of it to the chagrin of our former flames
- I think a Taylor and thejesusmetaphor pairing would be great for publicity!
- Taylor is freaking gorgeous
- Oh yeah, and if possible, I would fall in love with Taylor and worship her, as a man properly should!
So here are the terms of my #TaylordateTony campaign! I will
keep writing poems about me and Taylor together until it actually happens!
E-mail me Taylor – thejesusmetaphor@yahoo.com
cell 240-413-2616
O-key dokey, here is my inaugural poem!
And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto
him, They have no wine
--------------------------/Taylor Turns Tony Into (Tasty) Wine
I am a ruler of the feast of singleness, my drink is
aspiration its constitution water
bland, like an insipid wedding with a Pharisee of sardonic spirit
spewing trite
platitudes about love coming to the unaware
fools, sitting idly
trying to feign contentment without a tall beautiful blonde full
of graceful yet sonorous song, you see
the wine of my amorous zeal was consumed quickly, savagely on
fantasies
of other women
like Jennifer, like Whit*, like Anne, like JoAnn, like
Jane, Barbara, Slade
on them my passion wasted, my self-confidence now six
waterpots of stone
sitting in a corner forgotten
my heart listless awaiting the salvation by now in its
subconscious buried deep
and sometimes I feel as though my life is Cana of Galilee
and your voice
your mother of Promise prodding you to act
If I asked you to date me Taylor, reflexively you would
reply “mine hour is not yet come”
but haven’t we waited
but haven’t we waited
but haven’t we waited long enough? To find love, to put our
lips to cups of chance, in spite
of the meal of time, and romantic scorn being placed before
us
though opportunity seems
like men well drunk and sated
satisfied on our misery, and laughing on the fate of finding
true love cynically
deathly matrimony
be my Sweet Savior, Taylor, with restorative power your kiss
your lips, your eyes
can turn waterpots into vineyard vessels, and a lifeless man
into a hopeless romantic again
listen to your mother, of the vine and make miracles
turn my forlornness like water into a zesty wedding
(till the evening) into wine
-------------John 2:1-11
And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee;
and the mother of Jesus was there: And both Jesus was called, and his
disciples, to the marriage. And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith
unto him, They have no wine. Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do
with thee? mine hour is not yet come. His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever
he saith unto you, do it. And there were set there six waterpots of stone,
after the manner of the purifying of the Jews, containing two or three firkins
apiece. Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled
them up to the brim. And he saith unto them, Draw out now, and bear unto the
governor of the feast. And they bare it. When the ruler of the feast had tasted
the water that was made wine, and knew not whence it was: (but the servants
which drew the water knew;) the governor of the feast called the bridegroom, And
saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when
men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine
until now. This beginning of miracles did Jesus in Cana of Galilee, and
manifested forth his glory; and his disciples believed on him.
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