* Dedicated to Alesana, The Fiend
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*Dedicated to Casey, a contemporary of mine at Towson University back in the day, who I perceived had a strong attraction for me that ultimately went unrequited due to my own personal afflictions independent of her. I feel a sense of regret that I was not man enough to have clarity of conscience in regards to how I felt, or should have felt for her at that time. I could have entered a fruitful relationship with her (I could see in her eyes she would have willingly fallen in love with me)....but I ended up allowing that potential to wane and then completely dissipate, mostly out of frustration at the emotional confusion I was mired in at the time unsettled on what I wanted in a woman, or myself. Its just that I didnt want to be with her, only to eventually admit to her I was a bewildered little boy afraid to commit because he was afraid to mature and realize a good thing in front of his face in opposition to all the lust around him. I was blind, and didnt want to lead her into a ditch....since she had no clue about nor could see what interior struggles haunted me. But now Im in a ditch...of loneliness.....D'OH!!!!!!
------------/A Lover's Obscurity
Casey,
Towson was Nazareth together with sandals of naive passion
we kicked up our heels staring into each other's eyes, a plume of dust
spurred by angst from my feet obfuscated what love meant. Fragments
of dirt, mixed signals, afflicting our gaze you luring me into seduction
me coming close yet at the eleventh hour doing an about-face but
chasing after me we're both lost. Eyelids shut dreaming of a Savior
a man of 33 years trolling Galilee ameliorating romantic pain, abandonment
is demon possession in college dorms, tears leprosy, deemed less worthy
an issue of blood cured by this Christ...this notion of falling in love
madly. Walking
in the ominous formation of ill fated lovers the ditch of opportunities wasted
groans of the souls scarred echo in the chamber
of hollowed earth those damned to muse wistful on things that will never be
that will never ever be
just yards before us, only moments in time before we both stumble
stranded with animus in perpetuity. But I can hear the Lord's voice
prudent guidance from a heart all wise all knowing intent on being
crucified
for the sins men and women commit irreparably damaging one another
cradling your chin I kiss your lips and hands tilting the shoulder
nearest directing you away, closer to prosperity and further from me
a path more appropriate more deserved for you my appreciation and laud
notwithstanding - I carry your memory with me always
for following is the seeking and pursuit of death
at least until I can clearly see
-------Luke 6:39-40
And he spake a parable unto them, Can the blind lead the blind? shall they not both fall into the ditch? The disciple is not above his master: but every one that is perfect shall be as his master.
-------The Fiend Lyrics
Blessed smoke bellows from the beast!!!!
Bow to the gears and worship the machine!!!
Is it so?
This can't be happening......
Why can't they see?
Seas of children are bound, gagged, and led into the flames!!!!
Blind are leading the blind into a disaster!
I'm the only one who seems to care!
If you decide to worship the chaos,
I will not wait and watch as you burn.
All must kneel before the alter, the veiled will be exalted!!
We are the flock!!
They do not hear a word I say.
In the God's harbor all shall rest, become part of the master!!
We are devine!!
I can not save them all!
Blind are leading the blind into a disaster!
I'm the only one who seems to care!
If you decide to worship the chaos,
I will not wait and watch as you burn.
(I will not wait and watch as you burn.)
Should we go?
They all seem so content.
We should go and become part of him.
I need you to trust me now.
Don't move, I'll figure this out.
Forget what anyone said.
Just take my hand or we'll both be dead.
Blind are leading the blind into a disaster!
I'm the only one who seems to care!
If you decide to worship the chaos,
I will not wait and watch as you burn.
(I will not wait and watch as you burn.)
They'll never be able to see that they grave this captivity
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