Blood Is No Longer The Issue

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/video/video.php?v=690302785705


----------------------/Antidote; The Last Thoughts Of The Woman With an Issue of Blood/



The scribes say you'll know when you're chosen by God
by antecedent signs
by the ethos of an era that cries out for recognition
....or simply the pure desire you harbor
for change
for liberation from oppression (if it rages deep within).
And I don't bathe anymore because
it never stops....my clothes are always sullied, the water opaque,
dried blood stains the staircase
the shame from defiling my family's house always lingers
and the doctors don't want to touch me
they only prescribe excuses for me to be dismissed
and ostracized in the synagogues
so Im mostly relegated to lurching along the border of town
by day (hoping on charity for food and drink)
insistent to God for a reprieve from the wild beasts
in the wilderness by night
as I place my arms on my knees
and sob underneath the glare of the full moon and dark clouds
wondering
is there any life for me other than this one
the sneers of my enemies never felt so palpable
I can feel the delight of those who feel it a privilege not to pray
yet even if I had to slither like a serpent on the ground
the rest of my days
grasping for the cloak of the man who knew a cure
I wouldn't wish this on anyone
I only wish that someone would save me
from this madness, from myself
reverse this curse
and set me free




(restore my dignity)

-----------------Luke 8:43-48
As Jesus was on his way, the crowds almost crushed him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her. She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped."Who touched me?" Jesus asked. When they all denied it, Peter said, "Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you." But Jesus said, "Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me." Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."

Just a Little Fastidious...

* dedicated to Alesana. "Where Myth Fades To Legend"

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=688917367095


http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=688922636535

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=688927676435


------------------/Don't Forget The Sandals; Lazarus' Last Words Before Dying/---


Girls,
to be overly concerned
with self destructive behavior when dying
is foolishness
wizened to your prohibitive fate;
the consequences of promises unfulfilled
and with it, the people who might retaliate
the prospect of life without you
Mary, Martha
let me drink on my deathbed please
leave my mouth to the fury of its cursing
(but keep the windows closed)
leave me to my tears running, languid
I don't mind a squalid face anymore...
it is unimportant to be kempt and groomed in Hades
only circumspect and adaptable
and contrite
I only ask that you refrain from a dirge
and leave my eyes open if they stay that way
I would much like to see the paths Death takes me
en route to the River Stixx
but leave my sandals in the tomb
so just in case He comes after me, I wont sacrifice my feet
on the journey back here
we've seen Him resuscitate the deceased before
perhaps I...
Martha take care of Mary for me
you always were the most dutiful, and she the most
most.....I,....I....
please don't forget the sandals...


(Im scared)
* Lazarus breathes his last....*

-------John 11:1-45
Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair. So the sisters sent word to Jesus, "Lord, the one you love is sick." When he heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it." Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days. Then he said to his disciples, "Let us go back to Judea." "But Rabbi," they said, "a short while ago the Jews tried to stone you, and yet you are going back there?" Jesus answered, "Are there not twelve hours of daylight? A man who walks by day will not stumble, for he sees by this world's light. It is when he walks by night that he stumbles, for he has no light." After he had said this, he went on to tell them, "Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up." His disciples replied, "Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better." Jesus had been speaking of his death, but his disciples thought he meant natural sleep. So then he told them plainly, "Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him." Then Thomas (called Didymus) said to the rest of the disciples, "Let us also go, that we may die with him." On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home. "Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask." Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again." Martha answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day." Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?" "Yes, Lord," she told him, "I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world." And after she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. "The Teacher is here," she said, "and is asking for you." When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there. When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. "Where have you laid him?" he asked. "Come and see, Lord," they replied. Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him!" But some of them said, "Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?" Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. "Take away the stone," he said. "But, Lord," said Martha, the sister of the dead man, "by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days." Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me." When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!" The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, "Take off the grave clothes and let him go." Therefore many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did, put their faith in him.

Are You Really The Christ?

"....or should we expect someone else?" – Matthew 11:3

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/video/video.php?v=688287948455
* dedicated to everyone in the struggle*


---------------/The Thoughts of John the Baptist Imprisoned/


Either Im doing everything right
or everything wrong
was Zechariah full of treachery and deceit, and the calling
in my heart falsely sanguine? The baptisms just public baths,
the Pharisees still narcissistic? Their presence just an attempt at entrapment…
Locusts, wild honey and camel skin
bouts of delusion – the onset of demonic possession
accompanied by shame and misery for my family hereafter?
Because infamy travels,
and all sorts of miscellany plague one's thoughts
handed food through a cell, confined and loss of privacy
as odor of my flesh becomes stench
as the coarse talk of prison guards becomes my night song
and I begin to dream of an alternate life
declining the call, traversing the river banks of some other prophet
oblivious of the need to repent
quite stoic to the notion of change for Israel
no risk and no sacrifice
reclining on hillsides with friends, watching clouds scatter
and the sunset
just a serene bland life, unchained
unbounded and unhurt by abusive captors
smugly deriving meaning from the haranguing of a hapless man
sentenced to imprisonment for doing the right thing
saying the right things
utilizing the wisdom he thought he had
before death was peering at him from behind these walls
for this one thing I am certain
but before I close my eyes for the last time...
someone please tell me "he didn't live his life in vain"



----Matthew 11:2-6-----------------
When John heard in prison what Christ was doing, he sent his disciples to ask him, "Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?"Jesus replied, "Go back and report to John what you hear and see: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me."

Amanda Bynes....(Wed Me) Dont Destroy Me!!! please

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=688059670925

* Dedicated to Dashboard Confessional "Remember to Breathe"


-/Genesis 18/ Amanda Bynes – Don't Destroy Me (Not On Valentine's Day)/-----------------


Amanda, my heart is languishing Sodom
abounding in sin
rife with chaos of malcontent at failed rendezvous, conflicted emotions
fondness and disgust at women once dearly beloved
imagination filled with contemptible things like
stealing girls from their guys, stealing a kiss
so I wont be alone anymore...bribing with flattery just to get attention
and the aggregate of these offenses screams
loudly (in your ears)
because I know you can see the disconcerting look in my face
...and its driving your affections away from me
its off-putting

I am forlorn
(at the prospect of another dreary valentine's day)
flanked by two men, equity and justice
I know your intention is to implicate me
then destroy me as retribution
to rain fire of rejection and sulfur of indifference
dissolving everything in its path
but in your mercy let me make this appeal:
If in your judicious assessment you discover fifty sincere emotions
would you consider my hand in marriage?
..forgive me for my forwardness – but what about
forty five earnest intentions?
would that be enough to kiss me and call me your man?
Amanda, Im sorry pardon my untoward nagging:
If you found forty pure sympathies,
would you let me drive you to a nice restaurant,
discussing our future over candlelit salmon?
If I may escape with more pestering – What if you only found in me
thirty honorable desires?
might you entertain the thought of us watching Avatar together?
My true apologies, but I beg you to let me ask your reaction
to only twenty upright musings within me?
would you consider eating lunch with me...and perhaps
getting to know me better?
I promise this will be my last utterance...what if you only found ten
decent things about me?
would you at least get coffee with me?

Oh Amanda,
I just want a pleasant Valentine's Day with you
please don't destroy and desert
kill and kick dust on
break a heart– and smile...
I need you to love me, Amanda please
acquit me of these past evils,
see the apprehensive soul inside me, just scared of being alone
and upset
but not worthy of annihilation





(Please baby, wed me... Turn my Sodom into the Promised Land!)
(Make my Valentine's Day a Smashing Success!)




----------------------------Genesis 18:16-33
When the men got up to leave, they looked down toward Sodom, and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way. Then the LORD said, "Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do? Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation, and all nations on earth will be blessed through him. For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, so that the LORD will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him." Then the LORD said, "The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know."
The men turned away and went toward Sodom, but Abraham remained standing before the LORD. Then Abraham approached him and said: "Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked? What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it? Far be it from you to do such a thing—to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?" The LORD said, "If I find fifty righteous people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake." Then Abraham spoke up again: "Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, though I am nothing but dust and ashes, what if the number of the righteous is five less than fifty? Will you destroy the whole city because of five people?" "If I find forty-five there," he said, "I will not destroy it." Once again he spoke to him, "What if only forty are found there?" He said, "For the sake of forty, I will not do it." Then he said, "May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak. What if only thirty can be found there?" He answered, "I will not do it if I find thirty there." Abraham said, "Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, what if only twenty can be found there?" He said, "For the sake of twenty, I will not destroy it." Then he said, "May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak just once more. What if only ten can be found there?" He answered, "For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it." When the LORD had finished speaking with Abraham, he left, and Abraham returned home


-----Remember to Breathe Lyrics

She fixes her lips they
Always look perfect
Never a smudged line
Never too much
I try on my blue shirt
She told me she liked it, once
She wonders what I'll wear
She knows just what she'll wear
She always wears blue
So sneakers or flip flops
I'm starting to panic, wait wait
Remember she asked you
Remember to
Breathe
And everything will be okay
Okay [x2]
Alright [x6]
Okay

'Let another take his office.'

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=687531319745

*Dedicated to Kill Hannah "Someone Do Something"
*Dedicated to Ja****


-------------------/ Akel Dama; The Thoughts of St. Peter As He Chooses an Apostle To Replace Judas/


It wasn't supposed to be like this
we were supposed to outgrow our passions together
holy disciples
as a team – as brothers
and travel the world
just yesterday, it seemed, we were passing out innumerable loaves…
cooked fish to thousands gathered
speechless bystanders as Jesus raised a man,
(wrapped in bandages nonetheless)
from the dead, and restored sight to a man born blind
and I feel blind sometimes, Judas,
because I forget what your face looks like on occasion,
(my subconscious dulling the pain of your absence)
and the shared joys we had are fleeting in my dreams. I have to strain
to cull flashbacks of when we dined at Zaccheus' table
when the 12 of us coalesced mirthfully
roving from house to house...no consistent place to lay our heads;
times robed in innocence and naiveté
unaware of the troubles that lie waiting for us as the years would pass
unaware of the troubles each one of us had within
…you know, I betrayed Him too
a tragic mistake I still have difficulty accepting pardon for
but I never lost sight of the Ray of Light, though at times it flickered
in my darkest hour
but I suppose you were aggrieved more bitterly than I was
and took things harder
the thirty pieces of silver you charged could have been
the first offering in our new synagogue
and we would marvel at how drastically God's Mercy
was able to transform us...
I like to be alone sometimes and think about you
pinching myself because its all so surreal
while gazing at the stars, the chilled winds making my breath transparent
and I reflect on what could have been
we were supposed to conquer the world together,
the 12 of us casting out demons...
not become the demons ourselves



(I'll miss you, buddy)




---------------------Acts 1:15-26
And in those days Peter stood up in the midst of the disciples (altogether the number of names was about a hundred and twenty), and said, "Men and brethren, this Scripture had to be fulfilled, which the Holy Spirit spoke before by the mouth of David concerning Judas, who became a guide to those who arrested Jesus; for he was numbered with us and obtained a part in this ministry." (Now this man purchased a field with the wages of iniquity; and falling headlong, he burst open in the middle and all his entrails gushed out. And it became known to all those dwelling in Jerusalem; so that field is called in their own language, Akel Dama, that is, Field of Blood.) "For it is written in the Book of Psalms:

'Let his dwelling place be desolate,
And let no one live in it';
and,

'Let another take his office.'

"Therefore, of these men who have accompanied us all the time that the Lord Jesus went in and out among us, beginning from the baptism of John to that day when He was taken up from us, one of these must become a witness with us of His resurrection.” And they proposed two: Joseph called Barsabas, who was surnamed Justus, and Matthias. And they prayed and said, "You, O Lord, who know the hearts of all, show which of these two You have chosen to take part in this ministry and apostleship from which Judas by transgression fell, that he might go to his own place." And they cast their lots, and the lot fell on Matthias. And he was numbered with the eleven apostles.



---Someone Do Something Lyrics

I've been waiting for the day when the sun goes away
Never to return
Opens up a modern age,
Bright white but was grey
And they can never catch us

Oh, don't take this from me
I need to believe
In something
I won't protest this leave
I'm falling to pieces

Oh no someone do something

I've got one long crazy dream
That heaven fought out troubled teens and anorexic girls,
but it lasted twenty years and none brought to tears and no one can wake me

Oh, the bright young things we never sleep
We just lie down while we dream
Someone do something
I'm falling to pieces,
no one matters, does anything?

Oh the bright young things we never sleep
We just lie down while we dream
Someone do something,
I'm falling to pieces

Oh what matters
What matters
What matters
Oh
What matters

Desolate

*This is my prayer, Jesus, for all rapists to be brought to justice...and if they are willing...to repent
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/video/video.php?v=686489537485

"However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her"

---/Desolate; Tamar's Cry (to Amnon)/----------------------

Black smoke rises
from intense burning, flames of despair
the flint is my heart, broken
shattered pieces crashing together sparking fire
and my soul is soot
and my soul is the blood of the innocent wrongly shed
sullied with the craven intentions of a wicked, vulgar man
capricious and filled with insensitivity
I have been exploited and left for dead, ignoble and crying bitterly
my tears are perpetual, they will never stop
bitterly flowing ...(everything is bitter)
seasoned food forever bland, sweet wine forever vapid
and my only revenge is to spurn your touch
your hands wringing my neck, wheezing in my dreams
vomiting when I wake
staring out the window to catch glimpses of wedding processions
and wedding songs
longing to dance, longing to belong to a heritage
and to stamp myself on someone’s genealogy...
to smile and laugh and be a part of a vivacious, jubilant family
but this was stolen from me
my children, my home, my happiness, my bridesmaids
my life
...solitude now embraces me as wife, and disconsolation calls me "mom"
Disappointment, failure, lamentation my uncles, aunts and cousins
I have no consanguinity now
only fantasies of a normal life not haunted by demons with
malevolent visages
every time from this doleful pain I scream for a reprieve
screeching shrills that only reverberate off the walls
answered by no one
because you have made me a leper
black on the inside, yet I cant even bring myself to hate you anymore
I hate myself, I hate the day I was born
when history remembers me I want them to remember
a lovely young woman,
once ebullient in spirit
now taciturn


(burning with pain inside, trapped within these four walls, forever)


-----------------2 Samuel 13
After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her. But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man. And he said to him, "Why are you, the king's son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?"Amnon said to him, "I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister." So Jonadab said to him, "Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, 'Please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.'" Then Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, "Please let Tamar my sister come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight, that I may eat from her hand." And David sent home to Tamar, saying, "Now go to your brother Amnon's house, and prepare food for him." So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house; and he was lying down. Then she took flour and kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. And she took the pan and placed them out before him, but he refused to eat. Then Amnon said, "Have everyone go out from me." And they all went out from him. Then Amnon said to Tamar, "Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them to Amnon her brother in the bedroom. Now when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, "Come, lie with me, my sister." But she answered him, "No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing! And I, where could I take my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you." However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her. Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, "Arise, be gone!" So she said to him, "No, indeed! This evil of sending me away is worse than the other that you did to me." But he would not listen to her. Then he called his servant who attended him, and said, "Here! Put this woman out, away from me, and bolt the door behind her." Now she had on a robe of many colors, for the king's virgin daughters wore such apparel. And his servant put her out and bolted the door behind her. Then Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore her robe of many colors that was on her, and laid her hand on her head and went away crying bitterly. And Absalom her brother said to her, "Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this thing to heart." So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house. But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. And Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon neither good nor bad. For Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar. And it came to pass, after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal Hazor, which is near Ephraim; so Absalom invited all the king’s sons. Then Absalom came to the king and said, "Kindly note, your servant has sheepshearers; please, let the king and his servants go with your servant." But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go now, lest we be a burden to you." Then he urged him, but he would not go; and he blessed him. Then Absalom said, "If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us. And the king said to him, "Why should he go with you?" But Absalom urged him; so he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him. Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, "Watch now, when Amnon's heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, 'Strike Amnon!' then kill him. Do not be afraid. Have I not commanded you? Be courageous and valiant." So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and each one got on his mule and fled. And it came to pass, while they were on the way, that news came to David, saying, "Absalom has killed all the king's sons, and not one of them is left!" So the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the ground, and all his servants stood by with their clothes torn. Then Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, answered and said, "Let not my lord suppose they have killed all the young men, the king's sons, for only Amnon is dead. For by the command of Absalom this has been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar. Now therefore, let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king’s sons are dead. For only Amnon is dead." Then Absalom fled. And the young man who was keeping watch lifted his eyes and looked, and there, many people were coming from the road on the hillside behind him. And Jonadab said to the king, "Look, the king's sons are coming; as your servant said, so it is." So it was, as soon as he had finished speaking, that the king's sons indeed came, and they lifted up their voice and wept. Also the king and all his servants wept very bitterly. But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day. So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. And King David longed to go to Absalom. For he had been comforted concerning Amnon, because he was dead.

Warrior King

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/video/video.php?v=685833756675


----------------/A Warrior King: The Thoughts of Jesus on The Cross Enduring Jeers/



Im thirty-three...
and the greatest temptation I face is not to pry these nails
from my hands (try to dress and doctor my wounds)
and walk towards Rome
nor to dislodge the plaited thorns embedded in my scalp
nor to stir winds and hurl down fire from heaven -
annihilating, and dispelling my taunting, chaffing onlookers
I can withstand blood pouring in my eyes and the constriction
of my lungs. and the scorn, and the prattling ravens circling
threatening to gouge my ears
the proud and cavalier Roman soldiers casting lots for my garments
robing and disrobing themselves in clothes my father once gave me
and morally craven criminals deliberating on my innocence
...no...the foremost entrapment I face, is to cede ground to regret
to question whether my mission is right despite lack of support
to lose heart and abdicate my strength of will
and let the thronging masses have what they want instead: a warrior king
and I would create one just for them – and imagine him to be me
and for just a spell allow myself to be embraced by genuine exultation
in synagogues across the land
greeted by exuberant children forced to dance on their mother's shoulders
kissed by rabbis, feet washed by high priests
adorned in jewels and the splendor of one revered - respected
I would pretend I knew what it was like to be loved as freely
as I freely loved
and willingly subdued my rage
to display my magnanimity
and comfort them like God only can
as they put down their spears
and stopped stabbing me
stopped trying to dilute my sincerity
by mixing water of their intemperance with my
sacrificial blood


(That is my greatest vulnerability, my greatest temptation)

Matthew 27:42-44--------------
"He saved others," they said, "but he can't save himself! He's the King of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. He trusts in God. Let God rescue him now if he wants him, for he said, 'I am the Son of God.' " In the same way the robbers who were crucified with him also heaped insults on him.