Raboni

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-------------------/Rabboni: The Thoughts Of Mary Magdalene At Jesus' Tomb

What do the lost do exactly? Seek the dead
amongst the living, and vice versa
hoping to defy all odds pitted against them
no matter how disproportionately, cruelly or
maliciously so.  To chase echoes, to chase ghosts
as catharsis when everything sanguine
that compelled you to wake up in the morning
languished on a Roman cross three days ago
full of empty promises, curse of a woman’s’ naiveté’
too easily deceived by the charms
of charismatic men… And you see, now every cool breeze
feels chilled, the erstwhile comforts of the sunrise burn,
chirrups of birds, the howling of wolves at night,
morning conversations with luminous men
who sit atop open tombs with pointed questioning
are just not real anymore. (My savior buried,
reality starts rolling downhill into entropy.) No, these are just
grief stricken auditory hallucinations of the damned.
What to make of the miracles, the miraculous accretion
of fish and loaves – was this just hope filled banter
of the poor who just wanted it too badly?
Perhaps we are just as psychologically inept
as the Caesars, Julius as a martyr for sanity,
may his blood purge away my pain.
There will be no revolution now
no bones of David dipped in gold in a reliquary
on the mantle of our Messiah. Oh wretched
darkness of the heart, oh deplorable fate
of the reprobate!!!: unceasing vile chatter of soul,
like inner intestinal groans of demons,
stench of my rotted breasts with sour milk,
dripping into the mouths of my unborn children
crying for a real mother instead of a whore!!!
Oh Jesus why did you have to die…
Rabboni
Rabboni
Please don’t die. Please
no more tears.


-----------John 20:15-16
Jesus said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?" Supposing Him to be the gardener, she said to Him, "Sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have laid Him, and I will take Him away." Jesus said to her, "Mary!" She turned and said to Him in Hebrew, "Rabboni!" (which means, Teacher).