I Had A Beer With Satan (Part 5)...IN BALTIMORE CITY!!!!

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---------------------/I Had a Beer With Satan Pt 5: Hanging Whispers in Baltimore City

[SATAN (ordering another Budweiser for Tony)]:
So here we are again my friend
two of the world’s finest gents,
brothers in ashes and fire, kindred damned souls
of charred regret,
sinning grotesquely and living to tell about it
over beer. Yes we have squandered our salvation
haven’t we. Or maybe wretchedness requires a cleansing.
This is baptism of the reprobates, rebirth from
sorrows to sorrows.
Tony, pour your beer over your head

[TONY (confused)]:
What? Why would I do that? I think I’m leav…

(Satan viciously smacks Tony to the bemusement of the bartender. Tony grimaces in pain)

[Bartender]:
Easy guys….calm down okay?
Don’t make me call Baltimore City police.
There is justice in this world, perhaps,
maybe not celestial, but in the flesh
blood and hearts of moral men,
normal, average men like myself,
sensitive to labored screaming of innocently
shed blood. No, Ive seen far too many baptisms
of your sort. Psychotic people submerged
in imaginary red rivers of a stained conscience,
forcefully trying to proselytize new converts
drowning their own bitterness
floating downstream in their own religious delusions. 

(Satan sneers at the bartender but defiantly pours beer over Tony’s head)

[SATAN]:
Tony, what are you now? 33?
Still single, still broke, life still in shambles huh?
Chasing after younger girls who don't even know you exist?
Its time.
Drink another beer

(Tony drinks his 4th beer of the evening)

[SATAN]:
Yes, my friend like I always told you
there are no benisons in inhibition,
you just wind up torturing your will
in hell fire,
the lake that always smolders with frustration
and piteous self-condemnation.
At 33 years old, with no house, no girlfriend
and barely any savings, I would advise
an immediate change of course.
Walk backwards from the Jerusalem of your
hallucinations,
of God, of Heaven, of some abstract notion
of a second chance nailed to perseverance
and foolhardy longsuffering of principle and virtue,
fool on a rotted wooden cross with a lance
impaled. No Tony, pull down that ripe apple
from the tree of your sexual fantasies.
All the women wear short skirts in Eden you know?
Ravage the garden of your conscience until
there’s nothing left, slake your hedonistic thirst
in waters "poisoned." 
The serpent of your fiendish, kinky desire
hanging from a tree into your feminine side
whispering.
 Not death, but life.

(Satan pauses then down his shot of Jack Daniels)

[SATAN]:
You know what he says to you Tony?

[Tony, drinking another beer]:
What?

[SATAN]:
God is a lie. Hire a prostitute and together
tonight thoroughly watch porn.
If you have a baby, get an abortion.
Either that or take more heroin because there is no hope.
If nothing else, watch porn and live for today. Cheers-
to the best kept secrets of a slithering forked tongue 
no one wants to resist.
  
(Tony and Satan drink another beer. Tony pours beer on his head. The bartender now disgruntled shakes his head and walks off.)

--------------------------Luke 22:31-32
And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat:  But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.